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D - 12/24/2009 12:51:55 PM

supportourtroops

Posts: 37
Joined: 9/26/2009
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I dont know how to delete this question so no one else has to be bothered or answer any more????

< Message edited by supportourtroops -- 12/24/2009 1:41:47 PM >

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 12:55:13 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
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keep your money

or get the cheapest dom you can

< Message edited by osf -- 12/24/2009 12:56:01 PM >

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 12:57:34 PM

slutslave4u

Posts: 217
Joined: 6/14/2004
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Reading your thread, the question I have for you is why is it that you only refer to "His" or the "Dom" many times? As to me I see it and perhaps others or most will also, see it the other way around that this thread could very well be more suited for the "Her" or "Domme's" more so with regards to those very questions?

Yes it very well can be BOTH sides of the spectrum with this regard.

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RE: - 12/24/2009 1:00:38 PM

supportourtroops

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< Message edited by supportourtroops -- 12/24/2009 1:27:53 PM >

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 1:07:00 PM

osf

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do you think your the first one he's done this to or you'll be the last?

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 1:07:02 PM

sblady

Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

keep your money

or get the cheapest dom you can

LMAO!!! Yep.

Seriously, if anyone asked for money simply because the wear the label "Dom" (sub, etc.), they would be in for a rude awakening. If I choose to purchase a gift for MY Dom, that's a different story. But, again, this would be something I chose; no subliminal messages, no hints, nothing.

Signed,

Thrifty sub

Edited to add: I was distracted and now that you state this is your Dom, my answer is still the same. If Sir threatened to leave because I won't spend X amount of money for a gift, I'd be sad and shed tears, but he'd have to find someone else. If He's testing you, I personally feel it's highly inappropriate and in poor taste.

Good luck!!

< Message edited by sblady -- 12/24/2009 1:10:49 PM >

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 1:17:56 PM

slutslave4u

Posts: 217
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You are and have already been given a few replies to your questions.....as to me, any gift from me is a gift from me, from my heart that which I myself wished to give. No matter the amount or cost involved.

If demanded or strongly suggested I should or WILL give such gift.....they would be looking for another to make that purchase at that time.

I see nothing wrong in gifts when from the heart of one to another, being from the Dom/Domme/sub/slave.......demanding gifts/tributes, another thing entirely!

< Message edited by slutslave4u -- 12/24/2009 1:21:06 PM >

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 1:20:51 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slutslave4u

You are and have already been given a few replies to your questions.....as to me, a gift from me is a gift from me, from my heart that which I myself wished to give. No matter the amount or cost involved.

If demanded or strongly suggested, I should or WILL give such gift.....they would be looking for another to make that purchase at that time.

I see nothing wrong in gifts when from the heart of one to another, being from the Dom/Domme/sub/slave.......demanding gifts/tributes, another thing entirely!

when demanded i believe its more aptly called tribute

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 1:21:16 PM

supportourtroops

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Thank you.

I really like your signature statement.

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 1:26:08 PM

queencaliph

Posts: 131
Joined: 6/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

1. At what point do you feel it's okay to ask, expect or demand a submissive buys you expensive gifts? Say $500.00 and up.

Never ok to ask expect or demand a gift from anyone.

2. As a sub at what point should I give a gift of that kind? I don't mind giving gifts and I like to spoil by Masters but only after I feel it's a established relationship. Not someone just using me.

No. The whole point of a gift is that is it GIVEN if its demanded it ceases to be a gift.

3. If a DOM asks for gifts is he then the kept man?

If you give it to him he probably will consider himself kept and you gullible

4. Would a DOM expect you to buy his gift over say his sub paying for repairs on her car? Shouldn't her well being and safety while out driving in the night or snow be before his pleasure?
Her safety and well being should be first and foremost to HER whether not it is first to him.

5. What if a DOM tells you your not obeying him or trusting him by not buying him said gift?
Tell him to go to hell.

6. What if your told "it's not about possesions its about possessing you" and by you not doing so your proving you don't trust the DOM or follow his lead?
Tell him to go to hell

7. What if you've never met this person face to face but only served them 3 months via online?
Tell him to go to hell

8. Would a DOM leave you over this?
For your sake I certainly hope so.

9. Have any of you ever tested your sub this way?
No I have not.
Honey take the same questions and ask them to yourself, but assume that you are referring to a vanilla partner instead of a so called "Dom". The answers should seem very easy then.

Good luck to you and Happy Holidays

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 1:26:33 PM

sblady

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You're welcome.

Please be very cautious of people demanding money, especially if it's an online situation.

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 1:26:49 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Take the word "Dom" out of all of the questions above and replace it with the word boyfriend.

Would a boyfriend that you've never met expect you to buy him something expensive, rather than have you fix your car? Would you want to spend money that you don't seem to have on a boyfriend that you've never met? Would you even want a boyfriend who was thinking of his own selfishness, rather than your own bills being paid?

If the term for this other person in your life changes these answers, I'll be happy to say right now that I understand why some people get into this for reasons exactly like this one. It implies that just because you are his submissive, rather than his girlfriend, the common sense factor no longer applies. A little bit of said common sense goes a long way, but unfortunately, it doesn't seem that common sense is quite so common anymore.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 1:28:20 PM

mefisto69

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/19/2007
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oh - forget everybody else. I'm not a Dom or a Master - just a sick and twisted Sadist. And, I NEED 5K, or rather - a new digital piano that runs in that price range. See, i beat the living hell out of my instruments several hours a day and my trusty keyboard of 22 years shit the bed 2 days ago. One generous(sucker) should forward the whole amount 0r, if you wish to remain anonymous - send a Roland V piano. Others can chip in a few $$ here and there - it adds up! And if you don't, I won't threaten to leave CM or you.

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 1:28:40 PM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

1. At what point do you feel it's okay to ask, expect or demand a submissive buys you expensive gifts? Say $500.00 and up.
2. As a sub at what point should I give a gift of that kind? I don't mind giving gifts and I like to spoil by Masters but only after I feel it's a established relationship. Not someone just using me.
3. If a DOM asks for gifts is he then the kept man?
4. Would a DOM expect you to buy his gift over say his sub paying for repairs on her car? Shouldn't her well being and safety while out driving in the night or snow be before his pleasure?
5. What if a DOM tells you your not obeying him or trusting him by not buying him said gift?
6. What if your told "it's not about possesions its about possessing you" and by you not doing so your proving you don't trust the DOM or follow his lead?
7. What if you've never met this person face to face but only served them 3 months via online?
8. Would a DOM leave you over this?
9. Have any of you ever tested your sub this way?

Thank You for your advice and opinions.

1. Never. It's not a gift if it's asked for (unless it's a Xmas gift and the other person has noooo clue what to get you LOL)

2. If you're the type of person who enjoys giving gifts, I'd say whenever you want to. And by that I mean when you want to by your own initiative, not because you feel like you're expected to.

3. Possibly, depending on how you view it. If you're supporting him financially I'd say yes he is.

4. If you can't afford to do both at the moment, and he's aware of it, he has absolutely no interest whatsoever in your well being. If you enjoy being a financial slave that's cool, but if you're actually looking for a relationship I suggest you do it with someone who is looking for the same.

5. He's an emotionally manipulative creep, and possibly a sociopath.

6. You obviously *don't* trust him. That's why you're posting here. This is a good thing...someone who expects blind trust from someone they've never met in person is at the very best, misguided. Also if he trusted you he wouldn't expect you to "prove" yourself.

7. If he would do this after 3 months in person I'd say he's a manipulative and arrogant possible sociopath. If he would do it online I'd say that this was probably his intention from the beginning. http://www.romancescam.com

8. No. If I were in your situation I would leave him first.

9. My fiance never tested me this way.

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 1:31:32 PM

osf

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 1:33:02 PM

supportourtroops

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Thank you for the advice. I really enjoyed all your answers and so far today has been the only thing to make me laugh or smile. I appreciate it!

Happy Holidays,
s.

(in reply to queencaliph)

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 1:57:06 PM

supportourtroops

Posts: 37
Joined: 9/26/2009
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Yes, perfect, tribute is what it is or should be called in this case. I will remember that.

Do you by chance know how I can delete the post now that we all have solved this problem, lol.

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 2:08:47 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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Approaching this from a pre-existing relationship angle:

quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

1. At what point do you feel it's okay to ask, expect or demand a submissive buys you expensive gifts? Say $500.00 and up.

At the point the relationship is set to where the D-type can expect to receive what Xhe demands.

quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

2. As a sub at what point should I give a gift of that kind? I don't mind giving gifts and I like to spoil by Masters but only after I feel it's a established relationship. Not someone just using me.

People are getting pedantic about whether the word "gift" applies if it's not freely given, but I think that's missing the point.

You give a gift of that kind either when it feels right or when it is demanded of you. If those two are conflicting, then you determine your status in the relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

3. If a DOM asks for gifts is he then the kept man?

I don't see why that would be the case.

quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

4. Would a DOM expect you to buy his gift over say his sub paying for repairs on her car? Shouldn't her well being and safety while out driving in the night or snow be before his pleasure?

You're treating this question as if there is a universal answer. And some people are conveniently jumping on these lopsided ethical questions with the commonplace answers, but those aren't in any way genuinely applicable.

The only pertinent issue is if it is being expected of you at the moment and if that expectation is in line with what you signed up for when entering into the relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

5. What if a DOM tells you your not obeying him or trusting him by not buying him said gift?

Then you certainly would not be obeying him if you aren't buying it. And, as far as "trust" is concerned, his point would still be valid...but only because "trust", in this scenario, is a subjective thing. If his brand of "trust" is not appealing to you, then you should be considering something more serious than whether to just yield to his demand.

quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

6. What if your told "it's not about possesions its about possessing you" and by you not doing so your proving you don't trust the DOM or follow his lead?

He's right. Your question, however, should be whether he is the sort of person you want to be possessed by.

quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

7. What if you've never met this person face to face but only served them 3 months via online?

Then you run a greater risk of having the entire thing be a monetary scam. It still comes down to a quid pro quo situation, though. Are you getting enough from him (online, for 3 months) to warrant what he's asking for?

quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

8. Would a DOM leave you over this?

That's entirely Hir prerogative.

quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

9. Have any of you ever tested your sub this way?

I personally have not, no.

But, again, trying to measure your situation against what "everyone else" is doing is the absolute backwards way of getting anything done in this sub-community or otherwise.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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RE: DOMs Asking For Gifts - 12/24/2009 2:13:45 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

5. What if a DOM tells you your not obeying him or trusting him by not buying him said gift?

5. He's an emotionally manipulative creep, and possibly a sociopath.

Huh?

How does pointing out to an s-type that they are "not obeying" when they refuse to do what is demanded of them anything but clearly factual?

Dom: "Do the dishes."
sub: "No. I don't want to."
Dom: "You're not obeying."
sub: "You're being an emotionally manipulative creep."

??

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

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RE: D - 12/24/2009 11:30:27 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
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From: Northern New Jersey
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Wasn't it just a couple of days ago that you were asking how to tell if some military guy that you have been corresponding with was who he said he was or figure out if he were scamming you?

I really don't mean to be rude, but you are a 41 year old woman and some guy is demanding that you purchase him a gift to "prove" something and you haven't even met him face to face?

Yes, LadyPact said it much nicer, but really, do you have any common sense? Can you really not figure this answer out for yourself without the advice of strangers on the internet?

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