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Complicated ?'s from noob help me please - 12/27/2009 12:10:55 AM

MasterUchiha

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I am very new 2 the BDSM lifestyle & am still studying the terminology. I have come across some terminology that I don't understand in stories & manuals etc (pretty much everywhere) Which r training your slave/sub, disiplining them & nurturing them after disiplining them. I have 3 basic ?'s about this. A) What is the meaning of the 3 terms ( i.e. training your slave/sub, is when you (blank you do this when you blank) B) What is the process in transitionig through those 3 phases ( what do you say or do to go or signal going from point a 2 b do they always go in the same order ??) C) Exactly how or what are we nurturing with or within the slave/sub (mind, body (i.e. sex or cuddling or stroking the after disiplining with i would assume idk), spirt, confidence ??)

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RE: Complicated ?'s from noob help me please - 12/27/2009 12:21:48 AM

ElectraGlide

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From: Maryland
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Take your time, a long time at that. Learn the lifestyle and see where you fit it in. Go to life style classes and learn what you can. Don't force the lifestyle into you, do what feels natural to you.

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RE: Complicated ?'s from noob help me please - 12/27/2009 12:25:46 AM

Rule

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Slaves and subs are antithetical. Despite superficial similarities, they have completely opposite natures.

A slave lives to obey. A sub lives to please.

Training them simply means teaching them how you want things done, hopefully in a sensible way, not in a crazy way.

More important is mastering yourself: to be utterly responsible for the well-being of the slave, to empower the sub.

(in reply to MasterUchiha)

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RE: Complicated ?'s from noob help me please - 12/27/2009 12:40:18 AM

Justme696

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Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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you meet a sub/slave ( or Dom/Domme). You grow together. You have wishes and thoughts.
You plan what you want and try it with her. If she doesn't do it...you talk/explain..or even punish her. Then retry.

It is like everything else you do in life, use your thoughts, feelings and emotions. It is not complicated. Just go with the flow.
( fall and stand up)

(in reply to MasterUchiha)

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RE: Complicated ?'s from noob help me please - 12/27/2009 5:45:07 AM

Level

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Joined: 3/3/2006
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Yeah.

Train - tell/show them what you expect of them. Teach them.

Discipline - some do this, some don't. If the submissive doesn't do what you want, then you may discipline/correct them.

Nurture - this generally means that you let them know, after discipline, that they are "forgiven", or that they've had a knee-knocking orgasm from being "punished", and you bring them back down to earth safely. It can mean some form of positive reinforcement. For some, it means handing them a gold card, but let's not go there.

You have to find what works for you, and yours.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Complicated ?'s from noob help me please - 12/27/2009 6:16:32 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
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Training means one of two things. Properly, it is explaining to an s type what you want, and conditioning her to do it. But it's also used as a way for a predatory "Dom" to fool a newbie s type into giving up herself without commitment.

Discipline involves telling her that what she did was wrong and has disappointed you. It may or may not also involve physical punishment such as spanking.

Nurturing afterward is telling them that they are forgiven, and then putting it aside. I also use physical comforting.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Complicated ?'s from noob help me please - 12/27/2009 7:43:18 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterUchiha

I am very new 2 the BDSM lifestyle & am still studying the terminology. I have come across some terminology that I don't understand in stories & manuals etc (pretty much everywhere) Which r training your slave/sub, disiplining them & nurturing them after disiplining them. I have 3 basic ?'s about this.
A) What is the meaning of the 3 terms ( i.e. training your slave/sub, is when you (blank you do this when you blank)
B) What is the process in transitionig through those 3 phases ( what do you say or do to go or signal going from point a 2 b do they always go in the same order ??)
C) Exactly how or what are we nurturing with or within the slave/sub (mind, body (i.e. sex or cuddling or stroking the after disiplining with i would assume idk), spirt, confidence ??)

don't worry about the terminology, it changes frenquently

go out and find some women to experiment on, when i say experiment i mean something akin to teen dating

and i know i'm going to get a lot of crap for this

developing doms make a lot of mistakes along the way, just try not to injure anyone

you can read, but most of what you will become will come from inside you and the experiences you have

< Message edited by osf -- 12/27/2009 7:45:58 AM >

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i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

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RE: Complicated ?'s from noob help me please - 12/27/2009 10:18:52 AM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

A slave lives to obey. A sub lives to please.

So... ummm... a "slave" doesn't "live to please"?!! PUH-LEEEEEEZE... might wanna toss out that dictionary!!!

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It's only kinky the first time!!!

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RE: Complicated ?'s from noob help me please - 12/27/2009 10:45:11 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterUchiha

I am very new 2 the BDSM lifestyle

I would suggest dropping the name "Master".

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Complicated ?'s from noob help me please - 12/27/2009 12:23:39 PM

Wantstocontrolu

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/11/2008
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Your post is a little difficult to read due to your "texting" type wording.

However to your question. See out a local bdsm group, go to a munch ask questions. Most of what is considered training is just the process of each of you learning what you both need. Nothing special about that.

For some however it is the conditioning or education of another person that creates a instant response from another.
That may be "cuming" on command, kneeling at anothers presence, or even knowing how to give that perfect blow-job.

Phil

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RE: Complicated ?'s from noob help me please - 12/27/2009 3:00:22 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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You will get 100 different responses from 100 different people. These are Our opinions:

Training usually means teaching the slave or submissive to do what you like.

Discipline usually means one of two things. Some use it as a euphemism for "SM scene", other use it in the classic way. If a sub or slave does something displeasing, they are punished, usually with corporal punishment. Not all follow either of these, but these are the popular meanings.

Nurturing again has two meanings, usually. For some, it means "aftercare" in which the Top provides what the bottom needs after an SM scene. For others, it is an overall description of one of the roles of the Dominant or Master inside the Ds or Ms relationship.

Of course, the answers to your post have spurred more questions about definitions and titles and such. There's a BDSM dictionary on the net, just google for it. In Our opinion, call yourself what you want, but understand there is the responsibility to live up to it.

Master Fire

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Ms Relationship Books
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RE: Complicated ?'s from noob help me please - 12/27/2009 3:31:01 PM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

You will get 100 different responses from 100 different people. These are Our opinions:

Training usually means teaching the slave or submissive to do what you like.

Discipline usually means one of two things. Some use it as a euphemism for "SM scene", other use it in the classic way. If a sub or slave does something displeasing, they are punished, usually with corporal punishment. Not all follow either of these, but these are the popular meanings.

Nurturing again has two meanings, usually. For some, it means "aftercare" in which the Top provides what the bottom needs after an SM scene. For others, it is an overall description of one of the roles of the Dominant or Master inside the Ds or Ms relationship.

Of course, the answers to your post have spurred more questions about definitions and titles and such. There's a BDSM dictionary on the net, just google for it. In Our opinion, call yourself what you want, but understand there is the responsibility to live up to it.

Master Fire

Wonderful post, especially the bolded part.

OP... this may be the bdsm dictionary Master Fire was referring to...
http://www.bdsm-education.com/dictionary There are others you'll find if you google but this one seems pretty good.

I would also like to offer this link http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgs.html so you can find local munches and meet people. Live and learn and learn some more.

*Also, try to drop the text-speak. It gives the appearance of laziness.

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"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

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RE: Complicated ?'s from noob help me please - 12/27/2009 3:44:28 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

You will get 100 different responses from 100 different people. These are Our opinions:

Training usually means teaching the slave or submissive to do what you like.

Discipline usually means one of two things. Some use it as a euphemism for "SM scene", other use it in the classic way. If a sub or slave does something displeasing, they are punished, usually with corporal punishment. Not all follow either of these, but these are the popular meanings.

Nurturing again has two meanings, usually. For some, it means "aftercare" in which the Top provides what the bottom needs after an SM scene. For others, it is an overall description of one of the roles of the Dominant or Master inside the Ds or Ms relationship.

Of course, the answers to your post have spurred more questions about definitions and titles and such. There's a BDSM dictionary on the net, just google for it. In Our opinion, call yourself what you want, but understand there is the responsibility to live up to it.

Master Fire

and some see a difference between discipline and correction

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all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

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