submissives checklist ..

submissives checklist .. (Full Version)

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lilmissvalium -> submissives checklist .. (3/19/2006 9:21:19 AM)
hi am quite new to all this and a friend has advised me to try and get a copy of a submissives checklist so i can see what sort of things may be expected of me she mentioned that it may have a list of activities and then a check box for me to say whether i have tried , am willing to try or would not consider etc ,,, please Sir (s) can you help ? x

KatyLied -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/19/2006 9:26:01 AM)
If you google "submissive checklist" you'll find plenty available to choose from. And if you are new to this, please do some reading about safe calls and safety in general.

LadyMorgynn -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/19/2006 9:44:26 AM)
All you have to do is go into Edit Profile here on this site and click on the Interests tab, and there's a pretty comprehensive list! quote: ORIGINAL: lilmissvalium hi am quite new to all this and a friend has advised me to try and get a copy of a submissives checklist so i can see what sort of things may be expected of me she mentioned that it may have a list of activities and then a check box for me to say whether i have tried , am willing to try or would not consider etc ,,, please Sir (s) can you help ? x

xxblushesxx -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/19/2006 9:08:14 PM)
Well...the lists can be comprehensive. HOWEVER: Please do some research by reading true stories, literature and subs; slaves journals and/or blogs before nonchalantly filling out a checklist and thinking everything is covered. You would be surprised at the things that seem innocent which may not be... or the way things can be taken out of context. And once you agree to limits...unless you have a very open and understanding dom(me), you may be stuck with things you never dreamed of. I'm just sayin' ...[:-][8\|]

amayos -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/19/2006 9:56:29 PM)
From my point of view, such checklists are fine for one's own morbid curiosity in the beginning as to what activities are basically practiced, though I feel there isn't a single resource in the world that can replace authentic enthusiasm and plain intimate discussion.

candystripper -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/20/2006 7:47:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: amayos From my point of view, such checklists are fine for one's own morbid curiosity in the beginning as to what activities are basically practiced, though I feel there isn't a single resource in the world that can replace authentic enthusiasm and plain intimate discussion. i think amayos is right; the discussion btw two P/pl is what should form the basis of T/their understanding. candystripper

Takethiswaltz -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/20/2006 1:52:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: amayos From my point of view, such checklists are fine for one's own morbid curiosity in the beginning as to what activities are basically practiced, though I feel there isn't a single resource in the world that can replace authentic enthusiasm and plain intimate discussion. I disagree with referring to BDSM checklists as morbid curiousity. They are invaluable to a newcomer who is genuinely interested in learning what they may be getting themselves into, and assists in deciding whether pursuit of this "lifestyle" may or may not be right for them. They can also assist in informing a potential partner what the limits may or may not be. Plain intimate discussion may not work. I've even had a dom tel me I was being rude by asking what specifically he was into. Nuff said, there.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/20/2006 1:55:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Takethiswaltz Plain intimate discussion may not work. I've even had a dom tel me I was being rude by asking what specifically he was into. Nuff said, there. You wouldn't want to try to have a plain intimate discussion with someone who isn't mature enough for one. Plain intimate discussion is more than possible for the people who are mature enough for them. Do you believe everyone who tells you that you are rude when you don't do or give them what they want without question?

ownedgirlie -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/20/2006 2:01:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Takethiswaltz Plain intimate discussion may not work. I've even had a dom tel me I was being rude by asking what specifically he was into. Nuff said, there. If i can't engage in plain intimate discussion with someone, i certainly would not partake in any BDSM activities. Neither would i wouldn't ask a stranger what he was into. That isn't intimate to me; that is a curiosity being fed.

amayos -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/20/2006 4:09:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Takethiswaltz Plain intimate discussion may not work. I've even had a dom tel me I was being rude by asking what specifically he was into. Nuff said, there. There is an enormous difference between plain intimate discussion and a submissive who expects a dominant to spit out a detailed laundry list of "most favorite kinks and perversions" for what seems the gratification of her sorta morbid curiosity—especially when meaningful intimacy or connection has not been entirely reached. It very much has to do with the art of good conversation and building a base friendship. Regardless, I do believe I have, once or twice, been sport enough to reveal this information, even in circumstances where I know the submissive will go up in a puff of smoke and never be heard from again... [;)] quote: ORIGINAL: Takethiswaltz I disagree with referring to BDSM checklists as morbid curiousity. They are invaluable to a newcomer who is genuinely interested in learning what they may be getting themselves into, and assists in deciding whether pursuit of this "lifestyle" may or may not be right for them. They can also assist in informing a potential partner what the limits may or may not be. A good point regarding the checklist. Some newcomers may need them, indeed. Perhaps I'm so jaded to these rote methods of communication that I discount their worth to a newcomer.

jennalynn -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/20/2006 4:15:52 PM)
In the 9 years i have served within the lifestyle i have never once looked at the checklists. Time taken, direction received, and general curiosity was all i ever needed. But yes, if you do a google search, you will find many there to pick from. Just don't let it scare you... what one may find exciting is anothers nightmare. jenna

amayos -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/20/2006 4:19:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie Neither would i wouldn't ask a stranger what he was into. That isn't intimate to me; that is a curiosity being fed. Yes, that's more where I'm coming from.

TheTopHat -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/20/2006 5:38:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Takethiswaltz I disagree with referring to BDSM checklists as morbid curiousity. They are invaluable to a newcomer who is genuinely interested in learning what they may be getting themselves into, and assists in deciding whether pursuit of this "lifestyle" may or may not be right for them. They can also assist in informing a potential partner what the limits may or may not be. Plain intimate discussion may not work. I've even had a dom tel me I was being rude by asking what specifically he was into. Nuff said, there. On the contrary this illustrates why 'plain intimate discussion' is so important -- and in your case it did work, it illustrated perfectly what type of person this Dom (sic) was. If he had just ticked of a list or you had quickly run through a few basic questions you may not have realized this until it were too late.

fastlane -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/22/2006 9:47:27 AM)
Your checklist should consist of this. I know what BDSM is and I want to learn more about it................check I am submissive by nature and want to continue to be.....................check That's it.........That's the list! Now, go out and learn by experiencing the lifestyle amongst friends in the lifestyle. Got it?.........Check!

cillydom -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/22/2006 9:53:07 AM)
The checklist is the last thing I look at I’m much more interested in what she actually has to say about why she’s here in the first place the mind is a wonderful playground

Submotive -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/22/2006 9:58:14 AM)
my Master keeps my checklist and enjoys using it to create wonderful scenes - it's His playground, so to speak.

Moloch -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/22/2006 10:46:36 AM)
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TampaDomCouple -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/22/2006 10:55:39 AM)
The "BDSM Checklist" is a tool, nothing more. I have used them and not used them. I think anything that forces you to ask questions, talk about things you don't understand and examine what your interests and limits might truly be is a fabulous thing. If you would like to check one out: http://www.tampafetishparty.com/writings/bdsm_consent.htm If you have questions, we are always happy to share our extensive knowledge. In Leather, Robert and Lisa

IronBear -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/22/2006 11:43:51 AM)
Play Partners Consent Form (Humrous) Consists of two elements, an experience/knowledge key, and a Interest key: Experience quick-key: N/A - not applicable (i.e. CBT for femsub) ??? - No Understanding of this activity NEX - No Experience HLT - Hard Limit EXP- Have experienced Interest quick key: 0 No desire, don't like, - Hard Limit 1 don't want to do but will negotiate 2 willing to do, but has no special appeal 3 usually like doing, on an irregular/occasional basis 4 like doing, on a regular basis 5 WILD TURN ON, do as often as possible ALL are by/with Dom, in private, unless noted otherwise. i.e. Anal sex: NEX 0 = No Experience – Hard Limit - i.e. has never tried and does not intend to try! (hard limit) Anal sex: EXP 0 = has Experienced – Hard Limit - i.e. has tried and does not intend to try! (hard limit) CBT: N/A = Not Applicable (for femsub) CBT: ??? = no understanding of this activity CBT: NEX 2 = No experience – willing to do but has no special appeal. CBT: EXP 5 = Have experienced – wild turn on, do as often as possible. Anal sex: NEX ~ HARD LIMIT Anal Play: -Erotic: EXP 3 -Finger: EXP 3 -Dildo: NEX ~ HARD LIMIT -Vibrator: EXP 3 - Strap-on: NEX ~ HARD LIMIT Anal plugs (small) : NEX ~ HARD LIMIT Anal plugs (med) : NEX ~ HARD LIMIT Anal Extension (pony tail): NEX ~ HARD LIMIT Animal roles (pets): NEX ~ HARD LIMIT Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders) : NEX ~ 0 Aromas (smell/scented candle): YES Asphyxiation: NEX ~ HARD LIMIT Auctioned for charity: WHO ME HEHEHEHEH Baby (role play): NAAAA Biting: YEP Beating (soft) : AWWWWWWWWWW Beating (hard) : CATCH ME FIRSTCATCH ME FIRST Beating --Flogging: CATCH ME FIRST --Spanking : CATCH ME FIRST --Crop: CATCH ME FIRST --Cane: CATCH ME FIRST --Paddle: CATCH ME FIRST --Hairbrush : CATCH ME FIRST Blindfolds : CATCH ME FIRST Being serviced (sexually) : BLOODY OATH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES Being shared (Dom/me and another): NAAAAAAAA Branding: GOT TO BE JOKING Breast/chest bondage: GOT NO BOOBS NAAAAAAAAA Breath Control:.WHAT BREATH Boot worship : BAAAAAAAAAAAA Bondage (light) : FOR YOU yes Bondage (heavy) : no way (clasutrophobic) Breast flogging: naaaaaaaaa Butt Plug: I’m not a kiwi Cage: I’d go berserk and demolish the thing Candles (lighting/dripping): funnnnnnnnnnnnnn Caning : had that at school Cellophane (Mummification): when I’m dead maybe Chastity belts: wouldn’t fit Chauffeuring : do that Chores (domestic service) :do that Clamps Breast: naaaaaaaaaaa Clamps Genitalia: keep the f…. things away Clothespins : on the washing line Club - Punishment/play: I’m innocent Cock worship : I like it but wouldn’t worship it, you know where it's been recently?? Cock rings: keep the f…. things away Cock & Ball Torture: keep the f…. things away – Pins: mega ouch …naaaaaaaa – wax: naaaaaaaaa – Bondage: naaaaaaaaaaaa – weights: naaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Collars (worn in private) : whose master here Collars (worn in public) : n/a Competitions (with other Subs, for Dom's attn) : n/a Corsets (wearing casually) : n/a Cuffs (leather) : n/a Cuffs (metal) : n/a Cutting: been stabbed too mant times Cyber sex (serving Dom/me): n/a Cyber sex (serving others) : yer jokin …right? Diapers (wearing) : a shit Diapers (wetting) : not senile yet Dildoes : don’t need one Double penetration (Dom& toy) : be hard Double penetration (Dom& other) : be hard Electro Stimulation: …………………………tingles E-mail sex/stories (serving Dom/me): naaaaaa E-mail sex/stories (serving others) : My kajira only Enemas (for varied fun) : Ooooooooooooohh shit Enforced chastity : had that before might turn Me off sex Erotic dance (for audience) : cant dance any more Exhibitionism (friends) : what a cock comp? Exhibitionism (strangers): male or female? ….heheheheh Exhibitionism (club): used to be a stripper so I dun care Eye contact restrictions : scary init Fantasy kidnap/rape : rape meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Fear (being scared): I’m that half the time in combat Fisting (vaginal) : be very bloody hard Fisting (Anal) : keep the fist out o my ass Following orders : what who meeeeeeeeeeee Foot worship: NO Hard LIMIT "Forced" homosexuality : naaaaaaaaaaa "Forced" heterosexuality:naaaaaaaaaaaaaaa "Forced" servitude : nope Full head hoods: NO NO NO NO NO NO Gags (cloth) : naaaaaaaa Gags (ball):naaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Gags (cock):naaaaaaaaaaaa I’d bite Gags (other) : naaaaaaa Genital sex : like that yes plkease Gender Play: - Trans Sexual: hides - Gender Change: hides - Cross Dressing: HEHEHEHHAHAHAHHOHOHOHO - Forced Feminization: HEHEHEHHAHAHAHHOHOHOHO - Sissy Slave: HEHEHEHHAHAHAHHOHOHOHO OMG LMAO Given away to another Dom/me (temp) : AWWWWWWWWWWWW Given away to another Dom (permanent) : THOUGHT U LUVED ME Golden Shower: YUK Hairbrush spankings : GIGGLES Hair pulling: NAAAAAAAA Hand jobs : YESYESYESYESYES Harem (role play): DON’T CASTRATE ME THOUGH Harnessing (leather) : I’D LOOK SEXY Harnessing (rope) : PAINFULL Head (give fellatio/cunnilingus): YEYEYEYEYEYEY Head (rcv fellatio/cunnilingus): PANTING YEYEYEYEYEYE High heel wearing : DON’T SUIT ME Hoods : NAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Hot oils (on genitals) :HIDES THEM Hot/warm waxing : NO IDEA Hot tubs (play in) : YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Human puppy dog : WOOF ..NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Humiliation (pvt/public) : NAAAAAAAAA HAD ENOUGH OF THAT Ice cubes : WITH WITH SCOTCH Including others :ARE THEY PAYING CASH? Immobilization (tied up/down) : NAAAAAA Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage: NAAAAAAAAAA Interrogation (role play): NNNNAAAAAAAAA Inquisition (role play): NNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAA Kidnapping (role play): NAAAAAAAA Kneeling : TO BLOODY PAINFULL Leather clothing : LIKE IT Leather restraints : NEG Licking (sexual) : YEPTEPTEP Lingerie (wearing) : HEHEHEHHAHAHAHHOHOHOHO Maid/Boy: HEHEHEHHAHAHAHHOHOHOHO Manacles & Irons : NAAA Manicures (giving) : NAAAAAAAA Massage (giving) : YEPPERS Massage (receiving) : YYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS Masturbation (for Dom/me) : NP Masturbation (for others) : WHY? Medical scenes (nurse/patient/doctor): N/I Medical Sex: N/I - Speculum: N/I - Enema:N/I - Distension:N/I - Injection:N/I - Catheter:N/I Modeling for erotic photo: DONE THAT Mouth bits : NO Mummification: NO Needles: NO Nipple clamps :NO Nipple rings (piercing) :NO Nipple play/"torture" : NO Nipple weights :NO Nudity (private): NP Nudity (around others) :NP Oral/anal play (rimming) : NP Over-the-knee spanking:HEHEHEH Orgasm denial: YEP Orgasm control:YEP Outdoor scenes: OK Outdoor sex :GREAT Pins:NO Pain (mild/light) :NO Pain (severe):NO Personality training (in scene) :… omg NO Pet Role Play: - Dog:NO - Cat:NO - Pony:NO Phone sex (serving Dom/me) YEP Phone sex (serving others) :NO Piercing (temporary, play-pierce):NO Piercing (permanent):NO - navel:NO - nipples:NO - clit hood:N/A - labia: N/A - cock:NAAAAAAAA - balls:NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - other: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Prison scenes : NA Presentation (public/club): OKOK Presentation (Party): OK Presentation (private): OK Pony slave : NO Public exposure : OK Punishment Scene :NA Pussy/cock whipping :NA Pussy worship : DO THAT WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU Rape (role play): NP Riding crops : IF I HAVE IT Rituals: GREAT Rimming: OK Restrictive rules on behavior : NECESSARY Rubber/latex clothing : WONT FIT ME Role Play (describe): YOU KNOW IT Rope body harness : NAA Scratches: NAAAAAAAAAA Shaving: WHEN I NEED IT Sensory Deprivation - (Hearing): MAYBE - (Visual):NP - (Touching): NP Serving as art :I KNOW I’M BEAUTIFULL HEHEHEHE Serving as furniture :NOPE Serving as a maid/waitress: NAAAAAAAAA: Serving other Dom/mes (supervised) :NAAAAAAAA NServing other Dom/mes (unsupervised):NAAAAAAAAAAA Servicing Dom/me(anal): ONLY U Servicing Dom/me (oral): NAAAA Servicing Dom/me (intercourse): U YES Sexual deprivation (short term): HAVE THAT NOW Sharing Dom/me with another sub: AWWWWWW …. MMMMM NO Shaving (body hair) : NOPE Skinny-dipping : YEP Slave Auction :NAAAAA Sleepsacks : SILK PLEASE Slutty clothing (private) : NO Slutty clothing (public) : NO Spandex clothing : WOULDN’T I LOOK A TREAT DUCKY Spanking : FUN Speech restrictions (when, what) : WHATS NEW Spreader Bar: NAAAAAA Standing in corner : SUCK THIMB Stocks : NAA Straight jackets : NAAAAAAAA Strap-on-or other Dildoes (sucking on) : NAAAA Strap-on-or other Dildoes (penetrated by) :NAAAAAAAA Strap-on-Dildoes (wearing) : NAAAAAAAA Suspension (upright) : NAAAAAAA Suspension (inverted) :NAAAAAAAAAAAAA Suspension (horizontal) :NAAAAAAAAA Supplying new partners for Dom/me : NAAAAAAA Swallowing semen : NEVER Swapping (with one other couple): BEEN THERE DONE IT Swinging (multiple couples) : BEEN THERE DONE IT Teasing (being) : GET IT NOW Training a new sub (help Mentor): YEP Thumbcuffs (metal) : N/A Tickling (being): NAAAAAA Triple penetration (Dom/toys/others) : HEHEHEHHAHAHAHHOHOHOHO Uniforms : ~SHRUGS~ Vaginal sex: N/A Vaginal Play:N/A -Erotic:N/A -Finger: N/A -Dildo:N/A -Vibrator:N/A - Strap-on: N/A Verbal humiliation: NAAAAAAAA Vibrator in/on genitals : YEEEEES Vibrator anal :OK Violet Wand (electrical toy) : N/A Voyeurism (watching others) : YES Voyeurism (your Dom/me w/others) :DUN MIND Video (watching others) :FUN Video (recordings of you): NAAAA Water sports (shower/tub/waterfalls/exc..play): MMMMMMMM YES Water sports (golden&other):NO Wax play:~SHRUGS~ Wearing symbolic jewelry : DO IT NOW Whipped cream: LOVE IT Whipping :NO Whipping Butt: NO Whipping Genitalia: NONONOF.....GNO Whipping Breast: NAAAAAA Whipping Back: NO Whipping Thighs: NO Wooden paddles :NO Wrestling :YEP What forms of rewards would you like to get as a sub: Small "presents" (flowers, etc.): N/A Extra privileges: N/A Additional "play":N/A Personal mementos (Inc. letters/e-mail/pics from Dom/me etc.): YEP Massages: LOTS PLEASE Bubblebaths:

MasterBuckeye -> RE: submissives checklist .. (3/22/2006 5:16:32 PM)
I would suggest you go to www.alt.com and on their front page is an excellent check list for all. It's a great place to find others of like mindedness. Good Luck to ya.

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