Advice for long distance D/s? (Full Version)

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LadyMarmalade1 -> Advice for long distance D/s? (3/19/2006 10:03:19 AM)


I am a Mistress in a "Loving Female Dominated" Relationship and my sub is going to be moving away from me for aprox. 1 year due to work.
I have no experience in on-line D/s , but think this is how we will have to continue the relationship. My sub is very serious about his service and is a slave in training.

Does anyone have any experience in this situation and further can you give me any advice on how we can make it work?I am not prepared to give up this sub and train another. I have spent too many long hours with this one.

Also I was wondering if anyone has an opinion on marrying their sub?

thank you,

Lady Marmalade1




luckyslaveboync -> RE: Advice for long distance D/s? (3/19/2006 11:09:44 AM)

No simple answers and it will be harder with long distance, but it can still be very, very intense, lucky knows from experience.

Some random thoughts on what helps:

Have him write daily logs (helpful in r/l as well as long distance) about his life in general, but specifically including all his cums and all cum fantasies, as the erotic nexus is important to maintain. Have him write you poems, or stories, or other things you enjoy. Plan to see movies at the same time, though at a distance, so you can enjoy discussing them or other mutual experiences, such as reading the same books, watching the same TV shows, or whatever is your inclination.

He should still only cum when and how you say, and perhaps even made to fantasize about what you dictate. This is best if varied in frequency, mixing periods of chastity in. You may find that increasing humiliation is needed to compensate for lack of contact sports. Still, punishments can be administered if you have chat video for at least some verification. Still photos work for other forms of humiliation or punishment. Alternating the punishing with romantic is nice also.

It is very hard for a sub to be submissive if he does not have submissive things to do. This is perhaps not the place to list particular assignments (feel free to contact lucky offline for lists of such), but varied preferably daily assignments do help the sub stay in his role.

Then lucky tried to mail some gift to his Domme each week. Gifts may be small but should show thought and effort and love, just as a devoted person would do in a vanilla relationship.

Telephone contact and yes, even telephone sex, was always a great treat for other forms of long-distance obedience.

When you do allow him to cum, have him put a certain amount of money in a jar saving to come see You, of course. Or some other savings plan.

One could go on, but perhaps this is a start. It can work, so take heart.

-lucky




jamesthehumanrug -> RE: Advice for long distance D/s? (3/19/2006 12:40:48 PM)

dear lady marma
you sacrifice for love but whoever is ideal and ,comes along you may call it infatuation,not love and chuck the long distance deal,and, the top may do the same.
lets hope this actual physical long term distance is no real test and its water off a ducks back but ,if an ideal top moves next door to you within yards of your front door ,with VERY good intentions,
then psychology says,
with all variables considered; the closest one wins,THAT'S WHY YOU HEAR THE OLD, BUT ,TRUE accuzation about ' "THE GIRL NEXT-DOOR" ,cause, its very likely....
*i ,at one time, or another ;wanted to leave the area but ,
that certainly plugs-in the 'ACTUAL PHYISICAL DISTANCE' , into the' love- equation', and ,therefore,increases the odds ,against it;but mommy loved daddy in the military etc is real love ,but, temptation can move ,within daily walking distance,too.
=SCIENCE.
f.y . extra information:
i did ,she blinded me with science,
for my anthropology teacher,ms L.,at undergraduate school,@ B.U. ,in 1980 ,and ,I got ripped, by MY OWN siblings - cops ,WITH their connection aka,W. BULGER ,and ,plagiarzed;as usual.
(what; you thot you had a bunch of all-real; all talented- slaves, in hollywood? oh ya ;that's how i'm sitting here; everyone dead; and ,not a single- dime....)
make no mistake about it....,
if the singer was ,palmer, isnt he, another dead wittness?
be real,with all, that song money ;they can even take out a late-plagiarists like ,john lennon !.
i don't, follow the charts;or stars;anyway....
i make the charts,or stars;
you ?!
i ,only recall who's who,and, their names,
IE::
if
" my top" tells me HER real name ,to remember....,AND, WITH FAMILY LIKE MINE ....usually you can ,forget about it.




MistressLorelei -> RE: Advice for long distance D/s? (3/19/2006 4:51:43 PM)

Since you already have an established relatioship with the slave, and he wants to continue to prove himself, anything that you can do to keep you in his daily activities will work.

From the benign to the extreme, go with variations of what you would have done at a local level. Orgasm control is a good way to keep him reminded of who is in control. You can choose what he will wear, be it regular clothing, add toys or lingerie under clothing (if that is your thing). Have him journal daily about his feelings, activities. have him research websites, send him shopping to buy things for you or for your use with him or anything that keeps his attention on you while you are absent.

Play around with it, have fun, and keep communication flowing... it's the main thing.

Best of luck.





FLsubmalecd -> RE: Advice for long distance D/s? (3/21/2006 7:05:47 AM)

Hello LadyMarmalade1,
 
I can only tell You tha it worked for my Mistress and me for over three years. And that was about all the relationship we had other then a couple of meetings. it was almost  impossible to have more due to her home life and my situation.
But belive me, my total submission to Her was very real. She was the love of my life. Sadly it ended last month.
But She did have assignments for me to do. I was also told what color panties to wear each day. I was instructed to keep my body free of hair. I also wore a hidden collar of sorts. That is, each day I had to tie a pink ribbon around my privates as a constant reminder of who owned me. Punishment came in several forms if I displeased her. hand writing essays and then scanning and e-mailing them to her.My orgasms were controlled by Her as well.
I can only suggest that You be creative and find what works best for You and Yoursub.
If i was able to maintain a 3 year plus relationship with next to no contact, I think You both can do it if the love and devotion are there. Of course there is the trust issue on both sides. So Be aware that it is not easy but can work out.    




GoddessAlexia -> RE: Advice for long distance D/s? (3/21/2006 10:44:33 AM)

I guess it will be a serious trial for your relationship but you can do it if you really try.




crouchingtigress -> RE: Advice for long distance D/s? (3/23/2006 8:42:41 AM)

Some thoughts from the times i did this:
 
shaving
journals
tasks, sometimes for my sadistic pleasure, sometimes to make the world a better place.
poems
cock harness under clothes, I added a rather heavy charm with my initial on it that jingled *snicker*
orgasm denial
camera phone to show you snaps of his day or a video cam to make you home movies of his day his Friends his hobbies etc..
web cam
a good long distance plan
a daily task, "every day at 12:noon put your self in a bow for 10 mins"
building an alter with pictures and trinkets having to repeat a mantra when coming to kneel/pray at it
a few thumb tacks in his pockets and shoes that he has to gingerly navigate as he sits and walks around all day
wearing my panties to work
type you a love letter with a pencil (eraser side down) strapped to his penis
one of my boys liked spicy food so he was instructed to put chili peppers on all his food, he eventually got to enjoy the "fire" that it represented he would put it on his ice cream and pancakes...*grin*
 
 
 
 
I like the times we are apart, I like the space, and I like finding a deep well of creativity inside myself to keep things new and fresh....
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 




BeachMystress -> RE: Advice for long distance D/s? (3/23/2006 9:22:13 AM)

I've no experience with the type of long distance relationship you'll be attempting, so I can't help you there.

As to marrying your sub.. it is wonderful! I've found my perfect mate in my submissive husband. Our marriage resembles a traditional 1950's one, with me in the role of "husband." It works well for us. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. If your sub is the "one" for you, marriage only enhances the bond.




LadyMarmalade1 -> RE: Advice for long distance D/s? (3/29/2006 1:28:48 PM)

Thank you for all your great ideas. It is nice to see that there are so many couples that have been in the same situation as i will be.
Your ideas are great and I know I will use most of them.Especially thank you to crouchingtigress.
I have already put some of your ideas to use and they worked great.

Sincerely Lady M.




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