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tsatske -> WoWsers (12/27/2009 10:49:22 PM)
So, lately, there has been a srrs run, amongst those who write me, of widowers. Is this just a coincidence, or is this the newest BS line? 'I lost my lovely slave two years ago....' As a widow myself, I do not wish to doubt them, but why so many so suddenly? have the drunk drivers of the world taken a sudden menacing special interest in submissive women? I'm serrious, I mean, 4 (FOUR!) this week alone. And, maybe I'm being cynical, but I've lost several beloved people in my family. Some of these talk awfully cavalierly about their lost slaves. I have no doubt that they called her such names when she was alive, but it seems suspicious to me when someone says, 'I lost my pig two years ago to a drunk driver.' Is it just me, or does that somehow ring insincere? Also, those who claim newsworthy things - drunk drivers, muggings, ect - once they have told me when (the year) that they lost her, and the name of their town - I ask for her full name. Easy thing to google, right? without exception, they tell me that they just can't give me that information, they don't want to dishonor her memory. My husband has been gone 12 years or so, and I'd send you the link to his obit, and my daughter who if you were bright you figured out I lost 5 years ago from the tat on my pics, and my grandmother I lost last month, if i was talking to someone i was thinking was real and might be serrious, and they asked. Am I expecting to much disclosure there?

LafayetteLady -> RE: WoWsers (12/27/2009 11:47:27 PM)
Interesting question. I certainly haven't gotten the run of men with deceased partners that you have, but I've seen a few over the years. I think if anyone ever said "I lost my pig..." I would just stop speaking to them. I guess it could be a form of endearment, but even though I enjoy being called a slut or a whore during play, I would haunt someone after I died if they referred to me that way. They don't want to dishonor her memory by giving you her name, yet they have no problem calling her "their pig" after death? Kind of creepy.

LadyPact -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 1:49:13 AM)
As much as I hate to say it, there are some out there who use this ploy. It's a way to claim more experience than someone has when they really have little to none. You can't exactly verify what kind of M type or s type a person was when the person who was supposedly on the other side of the kneel is no longer living, now can you? There are some of us out there who have really had this experience. I think that's why this particular misrepresentation bothers Me so much. I don't know if the people who don't tell the truth about this circumstance realize that it is potentially hurtful for those who have dealt with this as fact instead of fiction. I don't want to get into My own personal rant on that part, so I'll leave it at that. One thing you won't catch Me doing is participating in the cavalier attitude that some folks have on the subject. It's rare for Me to write on these boards about it. The few times that I've done so, it's usually been to help someone else who is dealing with grief. I've walked in those shoes and I know how painful it can be. I can tell you that, the few times I did discuss the subject, tears weren't a stranger when I'd write My thoughts. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for verification. In My case, I tend to think of it as the world can't hurt him anymore, so telling someone his real name is no longer a worry for him. (I realize some may have other considerations.) If that's not good enough, I have other tangible proof, up to and including My other half going to the funeral home with Me. (I had married MP some time after My first slave released himself and later committed suicide. I can only imagine how difficult such an occurrence is when this happens in a current dynamic.) I'm still at a loss sometimes discussing this subject even today, but I would still verify the matter.

cpK69 -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 2:29:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tsatske So, lately, there has been a srrs run, amongst those who write me, of widowers. Is this just a coincidence, or is this the newest BS line? LaT’s words on creating expectations come to mind here. At first glance, your first profile pic resembles a memorial, of sorts. If it is true that men are largely visual creatures, then the less ‘thoughtful’ will not get an accurate perception of you because they are unlikely to read your words. Perhaps adding a few pics of you experiencing life, doing some of the things you mention in your writing would be helpful. quote: 'I lost my lovely slave two years ago....' As a widow myself, I do not wish to doubt them, but why so many so suddenly? Possibly an effect of economic down turn; when people are having difficulties finding resources many will turn to others for support. quote: but it seems suspicious to me when someone says, 'I lost my pig two years ago to a drunk driver.' Is it just me, or does that somehow ring insincere? I think if you do not identify as a pig, and or, do not wish to be referred to as one, after your passing; sincerity becomes a non-consideration. Playing 'pig’, and being a pig, are two different things; I think I would have asked “how much did it cost to replace the fence, or was the pig in the road?” quote: Am I expecting to much disclosure there? I suggest asking yourself, if your instincts tell you someone is sincere, would you still need the disclosure? If the answer is yes, then I don't think you are not expecting too much, as it is what you need. If the answer is no; trust your instincts. Kim

lally2 -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 2:47:01 AM)
i dont think youre cynical at all. i think maybe youre angered by people using the loss of people to get into youre head when you have lost three massively important people in youre life. using the death of someone as a ploy to gain sympathy would anger me and i havent lost anyone. it sort of happened to me, i ended up having a relationship with him and as the weeks went passed i began to wonder if what he'd told me was the truth. in the end i was fairly certain it wasnt. if they are using the death of a spouse to get the sympathy vote then its a bit tragic really and if theyre lying about it then thats even more tragic. but some people do live with their heart on their sleeves and share every tradgedy that befalls them with all and sundry. but ill never forget a coach trip up to london once. a guy came and sat next to me, poured out this long miserable story and i felt so sorry for him. he asked me out and i said id go, cos i didnt want to seem cruel after all of that out pouring. when we got to the coach station he ran after me and said that everything he'd said was a lie, he said hed wanted to talk to me and he was scared id reject him so hed come up with that story and would i please still go out with him. i said no. i remember thinking what a narrow escape id had! some people just do use tradgedy as an introduction and im sure youre right. the people who really have lost someone close to them really arent going to use them as a means to gain sympathy out of respect for the one theyve lost and actually out of respect for themselves too.

elleX -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 3:00:48 AM)
I like to read profile and saw also several men talking of their lost in the first lines ,,, that make me wonder about the veracity of their post . I also view it as a lack of respect ... i would not be appeal to them if i was searching

lally2 -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 3:26:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cpK69 quote: ORIGINAL: tsatske .LaT’s words on creating expectations come to mind here. At first glance, your first profile pic resembles a memorial, of sorts. .Kim i went to check out tsatske's profile when i read this, expecting some sort of grim pic. all i see is a woman in repose with a tat. as for the pig thing - blurgh!! - id delete theyre ass right there and then and block.

cpK69 -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 3:39:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 quote: ORIGINAL: cpK69 quote: ORIGINAL: tsatske .LaT’s words on creating expectations come to mind here. At first glance, your first profile pic resembles a memorial, of sorts. .Kim i went to check out tsatske's profile when i read this, expecting some sort of grim pic. all i see is a woman in repose with a tat. as for the pig thing - blurgh!! - id delete theyre ass right there and then and block. I should have said “resembled”, as in, that is how I first perceived; not meaning to imply that all would see it that way. Also, I should mention, I did not see the image as grim either; just possibly symbolic of “In Memory Of”. I was only suggesting, it is possible that others perceive the pic in the same manner that I did, and that some of those are the ones she mentions in the op. [;)] Kim

CaringandReal -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 10:22:41 AM)
I vote for conincidence. I get waves, too, and not just of widowers, and they look intentional but unless the wavers are asking you for money, they usually are not. It's just happenstance. A few men do try to use the widower thing as a sympathy card, but they usually do not keep it up long as it tends to backfire on them as many people do not want anything to do with those who might still be grieving. Do you have the fact that you lost your husband on your profile? Mentioning a loss tends to draw others who have expereinced something similar, they don't really think through whether that would make them a good match for you or not. I have noticed as well that these guys' descriptions of their slaves' deaths are often cavilier, but I think that has more to do with poor communication skills than anything else.

CaringandReal -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 10:29:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: elleX I like to read profile and saw also several men talking of their lost in the first lines ,,, that make me wonder about the veracity of their post . I also view it as a lack of respect ... i would not be appeal to them if i was searching Actually, a person trying to be painfully honest will usually mention it right away in their profile because they want potential partners to understand what they are dealing with. It's like stating you are married in the first couple lines of your post. Or that you have children living with you. It lets those who cannot deal with a married person (or with someone with kids or with someone who is perhaps still grieving) know the score right away and decide whether to pass you by or not. Additionally at least in the US, "widow" or "widower" is an official marriage status. On most legal forms, it's right there next to "Single," "Married," and the increasing less common "Divorced." Would you rather be attracted to someone and known/dated him for a month or two only to find out he can barely function because he misses his former slave so much? Wouldn't you like to know that first, before you become attracted to him?

Acer49 -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 10:39:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tsatske So, lately, there has been a srrs run, amongst those who write me, of widowers. Is this just a coincidence, or is this the newest BS line? 'I lost my lovely slave two years ago....' As a widow myself, I do not wish to doubt them, but why so many so suddenly? have the drunk drivers of the world taken a sudden menacing special interest in submissive women? I'm serrious, I mean, 4 (FOUR!) this week alone. And, maybe I'm being cynical, but I've lost several beloved people in my family. Some of these talk awfully cavalierly about their lost slaves. I have no doubt that they called her such names when she was alive, but it seems suspicious to me when someone says, 'I lost my pig two years ago to a drunk driver.' Is it just me, or does that somehow ring insincere? Also, those who claim newsworthy things - drunk drivers, muggings, ect - once they have told me when (the year) that they lost her, and the name of their town - I ask for her full name. Easy thing to google, right? without exception, they tell me that they just can't give me that information, they don't want to dishonor her memory. My husband has been gone 12 years or so, and I'd send you the link to his obit, and my daughter who if you were bright you figured out I lost 5 years ago from the tat on my pics, and my grandmother I lost last month, if i was talking to someone i was thinking was real and might be serrious, and they asked. Am I expecting to much disclosure there? Referring to their partner as a "pig" Maybe it is just me, but I would have serious concerns about that individual, if nothingelse it is highly disrespectful to speak of the living, much less the dead, in that manner.

mnottertail -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 10:50:24 AM)
you have expressed 'serious concerns' on nearly every subject, so could you quantify your seriousness part of it from now on, so we know where it falls on your concerns scale?

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 11:06:59 AM)
I haven't seen this personally. Although I do have one widow who writes me the same copy and pasted letter about his being a widower, with a son etc, and he sends it every year. You'd think in 4 years, something about his situation would change enough to warrant some new information. Even his son's age stays the same. Kind of odd...makes me a little worried it is me, and I'm not memorable enough for the copy and pasters to recall that they already sent me the same line of bull, more than once.

tsatske -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 2:32:03 PM)
Caring and Real, I seldom mention my first husband at all, except to my adult children. I do have a clear shot of my only tattoo, which causes one in about 10,000 guys to prove a smidgen of sensitivity by asking who the memorial tat is to. other than that, I am not hesitant to mention it, but it just does not tend to come up quickly. It is not a big factor in my life anymore, now that my children are grown. I do mention it right away to the guys who tell me about their own widowhood, my theory being, if they are lying, they will back off, hopefully, acting on the well known rule of good scammers 'don't try to tell a martian you're from mars.' but, honestly, i don't think the good scammers are on CM, not that I have seen any evidence of, anyway.

breatheasone -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 2:37:06 PM)
~~FR~~ i had someone lie to me about a death in their family. i was shocked that someone would actually do that. When someone does lose someone close, some people find it helpful talking about their loved one who has passed away.

AnimusRex -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 6:09:00 PM)
So after reading all the responses, I just want to know...does it work? Just...y'know....curious And if not, how about- "I am dying, and have never been with a woman" "My dog is dying, and he has never seen me with a woman." "My dog died, and I need a woman to replace that bitch."

tsatske -> RE: WoWsers (12/28/2009 7:17:45 PM)
Animus, personally, I'd be most likely to go for the last one. You know, women like being called lovey names. Sweet talk is the key to kingdom, beyond a doubt

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