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RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/28/2009 6:02:37 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

RedMagic, I'd joke it off and say your check's in the mail, but I don't want to make light of you being so kind. The same goes to Jeffff.

Do you seriously believe that your "impact" in matters of BDSM is limited to the hands you shake in your personal life?

Yes and no. I get greater satisfaction from those ways that have been in the physical world. I can't tell you how rewarding it is to see someone after they have previously attended a demo I've given and they tell Me how much fun they had trying out at home what I've taught them. That can happen on the net, too, but that's usually more on a one on one basis. More often pointers on play in personal emails, rather than on the boards.

I could understand how a newbie domina with great reading and writing skills (comparable to those of LadyPact) could perhaps remain blissfully unaware of her or even any community impact for maybe the first year or so.

I can promise you that I am neither new or unaware. I'm no stranger to the fact that I've had more opportunities than many, even to the point where some folks have known who I was before we've ever met. I still don't believe Myself any more or less important than anyone else out there.

So clearly, the question of what evolutions affect you by shaping and unlocking your community / environment is very pertinent. It even affects people with a sole interest in shaking hands locally...

As Red was kind enough to point out, "locally" for Me has been a number of places across the country. Small munch groups and major clubs. My approach to it remains the same. I smile. I say hello. I thank those who have attended whatever I'm presenting or came to see Me. It's been working for Me for a long time now, so I doubt it's going to change.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 21

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/29/2009 9:44:41 AM

subMan4Madame

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

Interesting derailment of this topic.

It's a perfectly normal topic (as in 'what evolution in your BDSM community over the last 10 affected your BDSM experience') and then these preoccupations regarding political correctness and the word community kill the very topic essence.

This thread's subject -- as I think I presented it rather nicely in my opening posting -- is really very simple:
"what public BDSM events or evolutions mark the decade (so 2000 - 2009) for you?"

Note the mood marker in the header thread and feel free to chime in with lighthearted contributions as to what changed your BDSM experience.

There are other poll threads on truly random subjects like "worst events in 2009", but note that I intended this thread to have a really very simple structure:

1) Tell us about your BDSM background / community / focus
2) select what you consider a highlight event or evolution in that particular area of interest of yours
3) tell us how it affects your BDSM experience

Sofar my personal perspectives presented were internet, Femdom and Flemish (think Brussels, Europe).

Perhaps my quote on "Bcom being sold to Vcom" (Inc. actually) is not self explanatory for all, so I'll complete that by saying that Bcom is a site like this one and it was home to a very remarkable crowd of message board participants, being very lively till at least 2007 (the takeover). It was my favorite lurking place for insight into BDSM from a (mostly) US / UK perspective. If you didn't know, you also may not have understood my pointer to Jeffff regarding Glampers, nor perhaps my remark on LadyPact's preoccupation with the word "community". For a (really!) nice reference to this latter opinion, I recommend you check out
Domina Glampers' website!

I understand what this sensitivity re. "community quotes" is about: the awkward crap coming from copy cat operators still not having found their authentic personal style and thereby clinging onto whatever they feel should pass as a universal role model. I get that.

I have been lurking on US websites for many years. I am familiar with LadyPact's views and I stated explicitely that I appreciate her writing skills. I guess this particular posting of her was not exactly made in her finest hour then in as far as superb reading skills may have been required in case my OP was really that unclear? So I'll make one friendly effort to get this topic back on track after this clear derailment:

LadyPact's contribution holds nothing "decade-specific", no "special highlights" and basicly it's "no changes seen in a long time now".

Normally I would say thanks for chiming in anyway, but we may be suffering from a homonymic issue here. In me parafrasing the topic of "public events" with "evolutions" (i.e. changes) yet LadyPact's contribution being only about events as in venues I guess?

This doesn't help to hide that when I skip over the missing topic substance in the body of LadyPact's posting, I'm still left with the insinuation located in the first and last sentences of the posting:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I will never come on these boards professing to speak for 'the community'. I think anyone that does so believes themselves too self important.
...
I've never made a dime from it. Your motivations may vary.

This is a pure ad hominem cheap shot attack on my person without any substance or ground to it.
Really, it beats me why LadyPact (and others) feel the need to insert preoccupation with some silly über political correctness when the only effect of that is to nip an innocent topic in the bud? Let's assume that anyone out here were to feel like making a statement on how someone like LadyPact may have been a significant factor of influence to him/her (understanding, learning experience, ...) then what would be the harm? Hmm? In my OP I mentioned Akasha. It's not like this means I'm foolishly worshipping her here, is it?

And dear RedMagic1,

3 remarks on your non-input:

1) "who are you when everybody knows LadyPact?"

In my book, this means you are preoccupied with personal authority (in a community!) while it's clear that I am simply the guy who
a) started a topic
b) pointed out that LadyPact is missing the point of it due to some "community" preoccupation of her.

2) "thousands of people nationwide"

You are missing my point entirely: I am a European and I was implying that I consider LP's potential impact (if any) to be on an international scale. (Pretty much the same as in my reference to Akasha in my opening post)

3) Of all your "psycho" comments, none sticks. Not one. I'm sure you could easily figure out those mistakes of yours, but I'd say you're most likely not motivated in that respect. Just don't expect me to be around for the sound bites of the wolf puppies.

So chime in on topic, or even feel free to start a fresh thread if all of the above is firing off too many negative vibes to your liking.

Cheers!
Rob

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 22

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/29/2009 10:12:45 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I promise you that it's not a cheap shot. In My opinion, there isn't anything that happens on the net that compares with real life. One dot com changes to another. So what? It would be My opinion that such things don't effect Me. My world doesn't hinge on writings or pixels on a screen.

My BDSM world doesn't revolve around the internet. Yes, I've used it as a tool. No more, no less. That's all it is and all it will be, to the best of My knowledge.

Speaking of which, I've used that tool. I think you'll find My writings here and those that have been written about Me very useful. The point *you* are missing is that I have already answered the questions that you pose in this thread in the past. Don't blame Me if you are too lazy to do the research.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to subMan4Madame)

Post #: 23

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/29/2009 11:00:13 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

I do not feel well in my head, Rob. My attention span is short at the moment. I may be about to burst a weakened blood vessel, ending up drooling on my keyboard. I would appreciate it if your posts could be somewhat shorter.

(in reply to subMan4Madame)

Post #: 24

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/29/2009 3:00:16 PM

subMan4Madame

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

Dear LadyPact,

3 posts from you in here but but still no clue on what you feel has been a specific evolution in BDSM over the last 10 years (decade).

You feel like downplaying the internet evolution to a tool?
Fine with me. Nothing in the OP topic intro states that this should be all about the web.

In fact, it may be a bit of a challenge to present anything at all in which the internet did not play some role of importance in making it happen. But there's no need for such complications or we lose people like Rule here

So I'll throw in 2 more examples from this part of the world, the Dutch language community:

1) We have this 1 particular "café" that is about to celebrate its first 10 years of existence.
Here's a brief small intro as found on its website:

Quote-
The Fetish Café is unique in its kind.

From the beginning, the Fetish Café was founded especially for P/people with an interest in BDSM. As 'SM café' or even 'BDSM café' is not allowed by the Belgian law, and because BDSM has much in common with fetishism, W/we chose for the name Fetish Café. And of course fetishists are more than welcome in O/our etablishment.

Since the existence of the Fetish Café, more BDSM etablishments have opened in the Benelux. The big difference between those and O/our café is that the Fetish Café is a real café, as the name says. It is not a club or organisation, and W/we are open every Thursday, Friday and Saturday as a public place, for all kind of public.
Az a public etablishment, everybody can come to the Fetish Café. Why not? W/we don't have anything to hide, do W/we? People who are curious for BDSM as well as T/those W/who take T/their first steps in this scene, and of course the more experienced BDSM P/poeple, A/all are more than welcome in the Fetish Café. W/we will always take all possible time to answer Y/your questions and help Y/you further on the way.

The Fetish Café opened its doors on October 1st, 2000.

After long negotiations with the city hall and the police W/we finally got permission to open our etablishment. After that, many more discussions followed with people from the neigbourhood. Fear for the unkown has probably played a big role in all this.
-End of Quote

The effect is of course that this café represents a strong point of reference on BDSM here in Flanders.

2) I would not be surprised if someone with a cuckolding fetish would state that this concept has made quite a break through around here. Beyond a mere "fad of the year". Yet 5 years ago, most likely only very few people knew the term, let alone the dynamic. Today, almost everyone is familiar with the word (we do not use the Dutch translation for fetish purposes), they can even spell it (almost) correctly and we know why these couples can be found in BDSM circles (it's a D/s dynamic).

I can't say whether these people see themselves as a "community" in their own right, but I have been reading that there is quite some competition going on among themselves about who may be the lousiest dick around.

If anyone has similar stories to share, let's hear it...

Special note @ Rule:
indeed I have a history of NOT being able to keep my postings short or concize.
But in compensation I can promise not to post too often. Okay with you?

Cheers!
Rob

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 25

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/29/2009 3:12:37 PM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subMan4Madame
Special note @ Rule:
indeed I have a history of NOT being able to keep my postings short or concize.
But in compensation I can promise not to post too often. Okay with you?

I am feeling somewhat better now, Rob, after a couple of hours.

I watched that ugly witch Nanny McFay. Afterward I spent half an hour brooming a path through the snow. (It is still snowing, so that was a wasted effort.) Now I am sitting here undressed except for my trousers, hoping to cool down from the brooming effort.

Nevertheless, I will skip the long posts for now.

(in reply to subMan4Madame)

Post #: 26

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/29/2009 9:09:16 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Rob, the things I consider the most significant in BDSM in the past decade just aren't the same as the revolution you feel you are experiencing. What mattered to Me, was important to Me and I don't expect you to see it in the same way. This is the most honest answer that I can give you.

In the past decade......

My first slave took his own life.

Ms Beverly/Velvet passed away. Achella became Torvea toys.

I became poly.

I accepted sadism.

I collared My current boy.

I was capped.

I became a presenter.

I've lived, loved, and I had a damn good time doing it.

None of which, I expect, has any importance to you.

What each person considers important might not matter a whit to someone else.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 27

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/29/2009 9:23:45 PM

JonnieBoy

Posts: 1468
Joined: 4/22/2009
From: Cymru
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I will never come on these boards professing to speak for 'the community'. I think anyone that does so believes themselves too self important.

Applauds LadyPact

Pirate

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 28

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/29/2009 10:32:07 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

Okay Rob, so you want something which marks the decade in public BDSM events or evolutions?

I'm actually very surprised that being based in Europe you haven't even mentioned it but have been too busy getting too upset over what other people posted here. You are aware that this is an international message board, right?

Oh and you mention that the Femdom is the most interesting to you part of BDSM?

Okay, so how about this? How about the 2004 Accession to the European Union of Central and Eastern European states? The merging of BDSM from both East and West in Europe? Or haven't you noticed the Eastern Europeans assimilating into BDSM?

And what about the changes at the Other World Kingdom (OWK)?

As for the worst I would have to say it's the modification of the Polish Criminal Code of 'sex with the suggestion of force or violence' which has driven the BDSM community back underground, which is also becoming law in other places such as Russia.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to subMan4Madame)

Post #: 29

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/29/2009 11:01:55 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I can see Domi or Ron or Me, having it coming. But LP?

Not so much.

Jeff

Nah, no one deserves to be talked to like that....although, I'm a little bias since I love youse three guys

This time of year I guess I should refer to you as the three wise men?

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 30

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/30/2009 1:04:14 AM

JonnieBoy

Posts: 1468
Joined: 4/22/2009
From: Cymru
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subMan4Madame

This is pretty much the type of reaction I had hoped to avoid by stating immediately "NOT fishing for your personal / private event stories here":

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Undoubtedly my meteoric rise in becoming the Dom of the decade. It was a title that did not fall my way easily...

Only by winning the "Great Dom Off" from '04 through '09 was I able to gain the respect and notoriety required to be called "The Dom of The Decade."

I wear the belt when I go to church.

"NOT fishing for" ? ... I can't stand fishing, terribly tedious as a "sport" and food fishing involves having to come home smelling of something resembling the genital paraphernalia of a woman of poor hygiene.
However, I do know that when "fishing" one often catches something other than that which was intended.

Domiguy's "The Dom Of The Decade" award is transatlantic news for fucks sake ! His rep now preceeds him.
Domiguy is (as am I, so I'm told) a one man public bdsm media event in his own right. We do not know each other (yet) but in common, within the year you have earmarked we both have picked up fans,stalkers,unwanted rumours about us,hero status amongst great numbers of our peers (for no reward). ALL within the public eye and NOT just on CM ...

So please do not impose your own (arguably lopsided) view on what constitutes a "public bdsm event or evolution" ... you asked your question on a public forum, you are getting a public response. In 2009 Domiguy became a transatlantic BDSM internet celebrity. Surely our global "community" is becoming signally more accepted because of the likes of him and I ? ... if you don't like this, I don't give a shit, and THAT is a public meduim bdsm event, simply because it is now posted on this, accessibe to the PUBLIC, forum.

Diolch

Pirate

< Message edited by JonnieBoy -- 12/30/2009 1:06:51 AM >

(in reply to subMan4Madame)

Post #: 31

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/30/2009 3:48:23 AM

SilverMark

Posts: 3457
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline

Lady Pact Rocks!!!!! and anyone who takes a shot at her for being modest has not followed her here or anywhere else.

_____________________________

If you have sex with a siamese twin, is it considered a threesome?

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.
- Arnold H. Glasow

It may be your sole purpose in life to simply serve as a warning to others!

(in reply to JonnieBoy)

Post #: 32

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/30/2009 5:37:05 AM

JonnieBoy

Posts: 1468
Joined: 4/22/2009
From: Cymru
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverMark

Lady Pact Rocks!!!!!

What he said

quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverMark
and anyone who takes a shot at her for being modest has not followed her here or anywhere else.

Edited carefully ... to make sure it doesn't read like I've followed her anywhere ... wouldn't want folks thinking I was stalking LadyPact now ... would we ...

Pirate

(in reply to SilverMark)

Post #: 33

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/30/2009 12:16:23 PM

subMan4Madame

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Okay Rob, so you want something which marks the decade in public BDSM events or evolutions?

I'm actually very surprised that being based in Europe you haven't even mentioned it but have been too busy getting too upset over what other people posted here. You are aware that this is an international message board, right?
Oh and you mention that the Femdom is the most interesting to you part of BDSM?
Okay, so how about this? How about the 2004 Accession to the European Union of Central and Eastern European states? The merging of BDSM from both East and West in Europe?

Or haven't you noticed the Eastern Europeans assimilating into BDSM?

And what about the changes at the Other World Kingdom (OWK)?

As for the worst I would have to say it's the modification of the Polish Criminal Code of 'sex with the suggestion of force or violence' which has driven the BDSM community back underground, which is also becoming law in other places such as Russia.

Hello Stella,

I'm glad to see you bring on a perspective that not many of us are familiar with. I'm sure many would like to hear more about evolutions in Eastern Europe, and how they even may affect us here.

But I'm not the local Eastern guy at the foreign desk of a Belgian news paper, so why is it you want to ask me questions about what is probably more your own background (partially Polish)?

I do like your questions though, but I look forward to whatever further ideas and answers to them you could share with us.

So here's my preliminary feedback, along with some extra questions of my own.

I'll confess my awareness of Eastern European influx or import is almost limited to the following cases:
1) the increasing import of Russian whips in Western markets.
2) Eastern European girls getting infiltrated in all kinds of EU sex industries (sex mafia)
3) Russian porn on the internet (and the related risks of hacker crime)
4) OWK: this decade is indeed most likely going to be OWK's quintessential decade as I have read that the Queen is about to sell her estate? (And who knows whether the buyer will be a new Female Supremacy entrepreneur?)

My questions to you would be:

a) I see you are located in London? Could you perhaps expand on any similarities you notice between these Polish and Russian Criminal Code legislative evolutions and the status in the UK?

From a Belgian point of view: I don't think we are having this kind of evolution over here. BDSM'ers are not being scrutinized by the police. But the French may tell us another story. I think the French vice cops may have been more active to control and contain BDSM initiatives in the past decade. But I'm far from an expert on France. And also German legal culture allows enough freedom for BDSM initiatives I would guess. So luckily not immediately a very general trend, I think.

b) The OWK and Eastern EU sex culture

As a former Polish citizen and a BDSM activist there (?)...

- how would you describe the evolution of BDSM in those countries? (I have absolutely no idea.)

- what is the status of Female Supremacy (OWK or other?) in those countries

- have you noticed any changes in the behavior of (any of) the "old-guard" OWK fetishists when the "OWK porn factory phase" set in?

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 34

RE: Best and worst of the past decade in BDSM (community)? - 12/30/2009 12:24:18 PM

subMan4Madame

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

Hello LadyPact,

You puzzle me here...

I'm quite sure you know the difference between empathizing and analyzing. I'm usually doing the latter, also here and now, so when you tell me

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I've lived, loved, and I had a damn good time doing it.

None of which, I expect, has any importance to you.

then indeed all I can say is "I'm truly happy for you".

In my understanding, the vast majority of people on BDSM boards (both writers and lurkers alike) very much prefer to read personal emotional presentations that they can empathize with.

Analytical approaches may not be that popular, but they provide alternative options to get new insights out of the details that have been presented. But this topic thread hardly collected meat on its bones sofar so I will give it a rest for now.

And then there's also these nice bottles that need some careful analytical testing as well before I present the rest of the boxes tomorrow...

Keep things safe so we may read one another again next year!

Cheers!
Rob

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 35

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