RE: Angry subs. (Full Version)

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aBondageTop -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 2:31:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrVince2010

I have noticed in the personals section. a lot of subs post very negative profiles. The complain about the Doms that are contacting them or otherwise just bitch about the quality of available men.. Further, When you do contact them they seem to reply in a rather matter of fact way. Not addressing the Dom as Sir or by his listed name. Just general disrespect.  Often these are the same so called subs that complain of the treatment they receive from Doms.   I see a lot of ladies that post in Collar that are not subs at all but rather ladies that are angry and have very negative attitudes.. No amout of discipine and correction will help them.. When you are all done You would still have to Run!!


Have we heard this song before?

On any dating site there will be some negative profiles. Just avoid them.  I never answer negative profiles.  They are written by negative people, and who wants that?

If a woman were interested enough to respond to a message from me, I would never expect her to address me as "Sir".  I would be happy to receive a reply.

Your message is pretty negative.  Complaining about the very people you are presumably hoping to meet does not make you more attractive.  You will be more successful if you adjust your expectations, and your attitude.





DarkSteven -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 2:32:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrVince2010

I have noticed in the personals section. a lot of subs post very negative profiles. The complain about the Doms that are contacting them or otherwise just bitch about the quality of available men..


I agree completely.  I steer clear of them. 
quote:



Further, When you do contact them they seem to reply in a rather matter of fact way. Not addressing the Dom as Sir or by his listed name. Just general disrespect. 



I'm trying to wrap my head around this.  First you complain that these subs have an attitude problem.  Then you complain that when you contact them, they have an attitude problem.

Well, what did you expect?  Quit contacting 'em.
quote:



Often these are the same so called subs that complain of the treatment they receive from Doms.   I see a lot of ladies that post in Collar that are not subs at all but rather ladies that are angry and have very negative attitudes.. No amout of discipine and correction will help them.. When you are all done You would still have to Run!!


OP, you are under no obligation to contact anyone here.  I refuse to consider relationships with women that are lesbians, are Dommes, live far away and won't relocate, or have an attitude that I don't appreciate, among other things.

Are you trying to make a case that all submissive women should be demure and accommodating?  Try to pick up one that is already taken and see what happens...

Seriously, I have found that by avoiding those with poor attitudes and being respectful, I have been barked at very seldom here.

And about your "discipline and correction"... I WILL NOT do that to any submissive unless I have a relationship of some sort with her.



Ladynslave -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 2:38:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrVince2010

I noticed since I posted my comments.  Several dom type women have looked at my profile .. Stop that!!.  I am looking for a sweet demure female that wants a good man in her life.



I would go and look at the profile just to be an irritant, but I'm afraid I would feel like a kid again going to the zoo just to see if today is the day that the poor little monkey will fling excrement so I can get a laugh when I tell all my friends.



NYLass -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 2:55:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Seriously, I have found that by avoiding those with poor attitudes and being respectful, I have been barked at very seldom here.



I wasn't barking.  I was telling you I liked it "ruff".



sexyred1 -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 2:58:13 PM)

I think Mr. Vince and osf are really....

http://www.vaiden.net/rascals_files/image009.jpg



Phoenixpower -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 3:03:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You don't get it OP. We're submissive to One and you sure aren't ever going to be anyone's One with that attitude of entitlement. You send out spam to women without addressing them with respect, you assume you deserve to be addressed by an honorific you have never earned, and you merit exactly the responses you have gotten. This includes all the no responses.

If you wrote me, I would tear a strip off you should I bother to respond. But I don't need discipline nor correction because he inspires my submission. You don't.


Very well said...once I meet a person and once he is worthy to receive my submission, then I am happy to address him as Sir or Frog or Penguin or whatever he desires...before...certainly not! [8|]



DrkJourney -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 3:03:33 PM)

[sm=rofl.gif]



rockspider -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 3:18:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladynslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrVince2010

I noticed since I posted my comments.  Several dom type women have looked at my profile .. Stop that!!.  I am looking for a sweet demure female that wants a good man in her life.



I would go and look at the profile just to be an irritant, but I'm afraid I would feel like a kid again going to the zoo just to see if today is the day that the poor little monkey will fling excrement so I can get a laugh when I tell all my friends.


Well i perve anybodys profile who got something to say. Don't forget that sometimes it is with the same look in my eyes as when i look up in my "identify what crept out under the skirtingboard, manual".



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 4:37:47 PM)

Some of us are actually very nice and decent people.  You can't realistically make generalizations like that and paint us all with the same brush, any more than subs should do that to Doms.  I notice that You only joined collarme two days ago and You've made three posts.  I don't think that's enough time to really make a judgement like that.  Now I will answer Your post:

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrVince2010

I have noticed in the personals section. a lot of subs post very negative profiles. The complain about the Doms that are contacting them or otherwise just bitch about the quality of available men.

And I have noticed a considerable number of Doms complaining about the quality of sub females on this site.  Sound, ummm, familiar?
quote:


Further, When you do contact them they seem to reply in a rather matter of fact way. Not addressing the Dom as Sir or by his listed name. Just general disrespect.  Often these are the same so called subs that complain of the treatment they receive from Doms.  

I will not automatically submit to just Anyone, but I will respect everyone as individuals.  I used to automatically call all D types "Sir" or "Ma'am" as the case may be, but when I got enough "on your knees bitch NOW" letters from male Doms, I stopped all that.  Now I address everyone by their username or, if they have told me, by their real name.
quote:


I see a lot of ladies that post in Collar that are not subs at all but rather ladies that are angry and have very negative attitudes.

I have seen a lot of Doms show up in my cmail that aren't all that nice either, along with Some that are just wonderful. 
quote:


No amout of discipine and correction will help them.. When you are all done You would still have to Run!!

Run now.  Pass them by.  You will both be happier for it.  It's not Your job to discipline and correct them.  If they are ever so lucky as to belong to Someone, that will be His job, not Yours.

Oh, and Welcome to Collarme and the Boards.  Enjoy Your stay, it will get better with time.



MrVince2010 -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 4:51:52 PM)

sweetsub,  You are a bright woman. Every Dom should have a lady of your wisdom by his side.  Thank you. Mr.Vince



Drifa -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 4:53:43 PM)

Respect is not given - you have to earn it. Submission isn't something you automagically get, either.

I am submissive to one person. I am usually reasonably polite or matter-of-fact until someone is rude or offensive to me. But don't expect me to call you "Sir" or "Master" ever. I am not YOUR submissive.

The mark of a fake or a beginner dom is often marching into chat or a PM demanding instant unearned submission and deference. Sorry, ain't gonna happen. First you have to actually strike up a conversation, get to know a person, and only then can they decide that they will submit to you - or not.

And honestly, before you come here and kvetch, I challenge you to make a fake profile as a submissive female and look at the crapola you get for a week. At the end of that, if you can't understand why women here and on other BDSM sites get a bit hostile, I dunno what to tell you.







LadyPact -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 4:55:23 PM)

I'm sorry, OP, but I'm afraid I disagree with at least part of your post.

I'm not big on profile reading.  I'm sure there are negative profiles out there just as there are positive ones.  I know that quite a few females on the site, regardless of role, have changed their profile around since being here.  (You'd be amazed at some of the crap that hits the good, ole inbox on the other side at times.)

I will tell you without hesitation that I don't receive any discourtesy or disrespect from the submissive females here.  In those times that I am exchanging emails with them, more often than not, they will call Me Lady Pact or Ma'am.  Some call Me by My real name and a few out there prefer My scene name.  LP works just fine, too, for those who want to save the keystrokes.  All in all, I have nothing but the highest praises for the manners of darn near every female submissive who has ever written Me on this site and it's rare that they do anything but brighten My day.

In fact, I'll thank you, OP, for an additional opportunity to say once again how much I enjoy the gals around here.  As you get to know them better through these boards, I think you'll tend to agree with Me.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 5:01:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrVince2010

sweetsub,  You are a bright woman. Every Dom should have a lady of your wisdom by his side.  Thank you. Mr.Vince


Thank You so much, MrVince.  [;)]



Lockit -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 5:01:49 PM)

I agree with Lady Pact. The submissive women I have had contact with, off the boards or the other side have all be very respectful and have called me Ms Lockit, Lockit or Ma'am/Ms.



Missokyst -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 6:28:05 PM)

Seriously? How many years of internet domination have to pass before people get a clue that many if not most people feel no need to address a stranger a sir or maam? Heck, you are lucky you are getting a response AT ALL.

On the upside (for me) though is that this year I have decided life is too short to endure stuff that I find to be idiocy. I am quite happy to have identified it immediately and take the measures that keep me from watching train wrecks.



SassySarijane -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 6:33:35 PM)

Well OP, Just because someone IDs as a dominant and I ID as a submissive does not mean I automatically must refer to them as sir or ma'am, etc. Furthermore it does not mean I owe them any respect, really can't respect someone when I don't even know them especially when online is the only contact had with them. The respect I give is earned.

I will go even further and tell you that the dominants I know and call friend (and I'm talking in person, face to face knowing) and respect deeply, prefer to be called by their name, not a title. They only want their submissive or slave to call them sir, ma'am, master, mistress, etc. and not those they aren't the dominant of.

How I reply to someone depends on their contact to me. I will generally use their username or an abbreviation of it if I reply. I also tend to be courteous (which is different from respect) unless they are asshats.

Anyone expecting instant respect and submission from me is and will be sorely disappointed.



osf -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 6:37:44 PM)

angry subs scare me



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 6:42:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

angry subs scare me


[sm=rofl.gif]



mstrslve4fun -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 6:43:51 PM)

It seems to me that a real Dom wouldn't expect strange women or men who call themselves subs to simply blindly show respect. A real Dom would understand that respect is earned, not necessarily given without even knowing the person.

I see many profiles that ask to please not contact them, so, if you contact them even with that in the profile you deserve disrespect.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Angry subs. (12/28/2009 6:50:39 PM)

~FR~
Come to think of it, why would a Dominant want a sub who will submit to just Anyone, anyway, including Someone they don't know yet?  Don't Doms want to feel special, rather than feeling like They're just another faceless D type to direct submission toward?



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