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RE: getting past fears - 12/30/2009 7:35:06 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebottomgirl

The meeting part is not that easy, with myself residing here  in utah  and he resides in australia.  Took time to get the passport and make the plans. While we meet online, it was a mutual friendship we struck up , starting chatting of our needs and desires, it was his mind that made me want to serve him, not what he looks like.

He does not want an independant slave,  most of my independence comes from me being financially responsible for myself was hoping another slave could relate to handing over the self governing of their financial aspects for the future.
We agree meeting is very important, we both hope the chemistry is there.  
I am thankful for the replies


As others have pointed out, why is it so hard to meet with one of you taking a vacation to the other's country of residence?

You can see that NO ONE here recommends you move to another country for someone you have never met in person and only talked to for two months. You love his "mind" and that's great, but really you love his ability to type wonderful things to you. Do you think that at home Stephen King is always talking about all the really freaky shit he writes? Think he has a dog named Cujo? Nope. So what you "know" of this man is that he is a good writer.

Nobody should ever give everything they own to someone else without knowing how they will be provided for in case of death or things not working out. It's flat out stupid. Doing it by going to a country you aren't familiar with and have no one to run to should things go horribly wrong is worse than stupid.

Does he live in a city or somewhere out in the boonies where if something happened to you, no one would ever find out?

UniqueRaven gives great advice, but I need to correct her on one thing. A written agreement as to how he will provide for you given the relationship doesn't work out or in case of his death or whatever CAN be done legally. Here in the states, I know that for a fact. A written agreement detailing what is expected from you as his "slave" is pretty meaningless. Regardless of that, bank accounts are easily set up. I would suggest that if you have assets and bank accounts now, that you set up a type of trust account where a relative or close friend of YOURS has the access to it, not this man in another country.

Since you seem determined to do this for whatever reason, if you can't have a discussion with him about your future financial security, there is a huge problem. If he won't discuss it or just dismisses the concept because he says you won't need to worry about it, and you still go through with your plan, then I hope that you have notified your family with all the necessary information so they can send the Australian authorities to search for your body.

(in reply to subtlebottomgirl)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: getting past fears - 12/30/2009 7:39:11 PM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

Do you think that at home Stephen King is always talking about all the really freaky shit he writes? Think he has a dog named Cujo? Nope.


You mean he doesn't do that? NOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!!!! *shakes fists in air while screaming at the sky*

My illusions are now shattered

_____________________________

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: getting past fears - 12/30/2009 7:46:49 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

UniqueRaven gives great advice, but I need to correct her on one thing. A written agreement as to how he will provide for you given the relationship doesn't work out or in case of his death or whatever CAN be done legally. Here in the states, I know that for a fact. A written agreement detailing what is expected from you as his "slave" is pretty meaningless. Regardless of that, bank accounts are easily set up. I would suggest that if you have assets and bank accounts now, that you set up a type of trust account where a relative or close friend of YOURS has the access to it, not this man in another country.


Yes, the agreement we had was more of a slave contract than anything else, and it was our "starting point" for the more legal arrangements that came later.  You are absolutely correct that if you leave out the slavery stuff it can be a legally binding agreement.  Thank you for clarifying that for me. 




_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: getting past fears - 12/30/2009 10:35:33 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		The thing is though UniqueRaven, that would be the law here in the United States. I don't know what Australia's take on such a thing would be.

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: getting past fears - 12/31/2009 6:15:59 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		True as well, LafayetteLady.    She would be well served to do more research in general.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: getting past fears - 12/31/2009 1:13:46 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebottomgirl

greetings to everyone, particularly the slaves here.  I am about to enter into a Owner/slave type relationship.  I am very excited, yet extremely nervous. We have not met in person , that will be coming  soon in January of 2010. We have talked online and phone for over two months now. I have a full understanding of what he will require of me in my new life as his slave.I am to never leave the home alone, no money , no bank accounts,  I will not be allowed a Drivers license, a completely chained exsistance.My humble question is: Can you please share some of your biggest fears and how you got over them, once you realized you would need to turn over your autonomy to your  new Owner or Master.  My fear is a selfish one,  I am not young any more, 45.  I worry that what " If "  for what ever reason, the relationship ends, what financial securities did I proved for myself, if I am left in the cold and penniless  I did not serve myself well, did I.  ( having trouble here ) If I go into this new relationship with my main focus on myself, How am I serving him ?  please advise with wisdom.


I am sorry and no disrespect to the OP, but these financial demands are over the top. Everyone is responsible for their own financial welbeing and there needs to be some sort of security if for another reason than if the dominant were to die. No drivers license, don't think so. there is no justifiable reason that requirement. And to to isolate you from family and friends, by not allowing you to leave the house unescorted, these are tricks that sexual predators try. I am sorry, but this screams danger

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to subtlebottomgirl)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: getting past fears - 12/31/2009 7:18:55 PM   
gatorgasm


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline 		OP you are asking us to alleviate your fears, and there is nothing we can do. The instinct of self preservation is a powerful one.

You are old enough to know that life never works out like you planned. That is why you have insurance, savings, etc. Its one thing to become a slave. You are becoming a ghost. Ask your owner permission to express your fears. Its his job to answer them. And if he can't? Well, then the answer is crystal clear.

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: getting past fears - 12/31/2009 8:15:18 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		OP - in 20-odd years you will be at retirement age.

And if you do what you propose, you won't have a bean to your name.

Add to that the fact that you will be living in a foreign country which is no picnic to get used to. Ask me - i can tell you! It doesn't matter that Aussies speak English, they don't speak your version, and the shops aren't the shops you are used to and the trees aren't the trees you grew up with - the whole culture is different.

It isn't impossible to live happily in another country, but there is a hell of a learning curve to it.

Meet the man before you jump into the billabong!

(in reply to gatorgasm)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: getting past fears - 1/1/2010 12:17:23 AM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		and a major issue is that if there are children or parents or fond relatives that get left behind, once the "glow" has worn off, you can get very lonely and often very depressed. and as a non-citizen or resident, you don't have as much access to official remedies. and if you're forbidden from going out, how are you even going to access them?

i've been here 20 years. i still miss some of my family. in fact, i've missed marriages, births, deaths. and i had a network of emotional support over here to help compensate. what will you have?

_____________________________

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flightless cherub


(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: getting past fears - 1/1/2010 2:48:44 AM   
CountrySong


Posts: 554
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline 		OP - The reality is that he may be a great guy but I've met to many people who have met great guys then ended up in the hospital.
My take is that every slave should have the following: 1) a life estate in the home so that they can not be kicked out, 2) a trust that the master can not touch where money is deposited each year to provide for the slave so they have an out if they decide it is not for them, 3) medical insurance, and 4) a life insurance plan on the master large enough to care for said slave and allow the slave to re-educate the slave if Master dies early.
I would also suggest you get on every forum - FL, ALT, CM and find slaves, subs, and others in Australia so that you have a social network.


Oh and before you move anywhere check out the bugs, parasites, critters and soil they have there. For example, I'm planning on going to Costa Rica and Columbia within the year and they have this really interesting bug called the assassin or kissing beatle. It carries a parasite that causes Chingas Disease which kills about 30000 to 50000 per year and there is no antidote for it. 30% of the people who get it get really sick and in some of the poorer countries it is found in over 50% of the blood tested. Also Costa Rica has extremely high Aluminum content in the soil from the volcanoes so you have to watch for illness related to high aluminum in the local food.
For example, in Australia you might want to know what a funnel-web or redback spider look like if you are going to be in a dungeon. Oh and jumping jack ants can mess you over. (I think if I was a slave and someone placed a jumping jack ant or funnel-back spider in my room I would probably do anything they wanted.)
Australia also has 6 of the tep ten most venomous snakes.
Also be careful where and when you swim, Australia has the most deadly jellyfishs like the Box (see the movie Seven Pounds) and this really nasty tiny one that is almost always fatal and impossible to see called the Irukandji. And don't forget the blue ring octopus (I think they showed them in james bonds Octopussy.)
There are also some very interesting human parasites there.
Australia is not a third world country but it has some of the most unusual and deadly creatures on the planet. I plan to go there within a few years to see some of the critters.


_____________________________

Cowboy clown and cowboy poet!
Jouster of windmills.
Knight in tarnished armor.
Rescuer of damsels who don't want to be rescued.
Dreamer of Impossible Dreams

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: getting past fears - 1/1/2010 9:02:29 AM   
happylittlepet


Posts: 289
Status: offline 		 The cage thus requires at least:

cell phone with charger
computer with wireless access
bug spray
specimen jars for those bugs resistent to bug spray
small safe

< Message edited by happylittlepet -- 1/1/2010 9:03:17 AM >

_____________________________

There are no rules, there is only compassion.

Simple religion:
There is no need for temples,
No need for complicated philosophies
My brain and my heart are my temples
My philosophy is kindness (DL)

'There's a fire burning in my heart'

(in reply to CountrySong)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: getting past fears - 1/1/2010 6:12:15 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

 The cage thus requires at least:

cell phone with charger
computer with wireless access
bug spray
specimen jars for those bugs resistent to bug spray
small safe


And watch this video first:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I&feature=player_embedded




_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to happylittlepet)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: getting past fears - 1/1/2010 7:10:25 PM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CountrySong
I would also suggest you get on every forum - FL, ALT, CM and find slaves, subs, and others in Australia so that you have a social network.

Agreed that having some friends and a network would be helpful

quote:

ORIGINAL: CountrySong
Oh and before you move anywhere check out the bugs, parasites, critters and soil they have there. For example, I'm planning on going to Costa Rica and Columbia within the year and they have this really interesting bug called the assassin or kissing beatle. It carries a parasite that causes Chingas Disease which kills about 30000 to 50000 per year and there is no antidote for it. 30% of the people who get it get really sick and in some of the poorer countries it is found in over 50% of the blood tested. Also Costa Rica has extremely high Aluminum content in the soil from the volcanoes so you have to watch for illness related to high aluminum in the local food.
For example, in Australia you might want to know what a funnel-web or redback spider look like if you are going to be in a dungeon. Oh and jumping jack ants can mess you over. (I think if I was a slave and someone placed a jumping jack ant or funnel-back spider in my room I would probably do anything they wanted.)
Australia also has 6 of the tep ten most venomous snakes.
Also be careful where and when you swim, Australia has the most deadly jellyfishs like the Box (see the movie Seven Pounds) and this really nasty tiny one that is almost always fatal and impossible to see called the Irukandji. And don't forget the blue ring octopus (I think they showed them in james bonds Octopussy.)
There are also some very interesting human parasites there.
Australia is not a third world country but it has some of the most unusual and deadly creatures on the planet. I plan to go there within a few years to see some of the critters.



For the sake of some balance, those creatures are not all found all over the country.  I was in the shed earlier today poking around some boxes...yes we have redbacks in there and yes I am still alive.

Sometimes I feel we can look so hard for problems that we are bound to find them.  Awareness of the environment is great however don't stop living and experiencing and loving life because of some critters or aluminum or anything else.


_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
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(in reply to CountrySong)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: getting past fears - 1/1/2010 7:33:23 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

And watch this video first:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I&feature=player_embedded






Holy CRAP! I've always wanted to vist Australia, but my arachnophobia and that video may dissuade me from future thoughts of such a trip, lol.

wandersalone, although I do agree with you that such things should never stop one from seeking happiness, I think in this circumstance ramming home the point that the OP has really not thought her plan out clearly and carefully.

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: getting past fears - 1/1/2010 7:39:23 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady


quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

And watch this video first:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I&feature=player_embedded






Holy CRAP! I've always wanted to vist Australia, but my arachnophobia and that video may dissuade me from future thoughts of such a trip, lol.

wandersalone, although I do agree with you that such things should never stop one from seeking happiness, I think in this circumstance ramming home the point that the OP has really not thought her plan out clearly and carefully.


*sings*....and the poison thing in a shell....that bites you when you pick it up........



_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: getting past fears - 1/1/2010 7:39:52 PM   
happylittlepet


Posts: 289
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

And watch this video first:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I&feature=player_embedded





I stay home. We only got rattle snakes, bears, coyotes, eagles and whatnot. That's more than enough for me.

Thanks, I had a good laugh.

_____________________________

There are no rules, there is only compassion.

Simple religion:
There is no need for temples,
No need for complicated philosophies
My brain and my heart are my temples
My philosophy is kindness (DL)

'There's a fire burning in my heart'

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: getting past fears - 1/1/2010 11:11:50 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

I stay home. We only got rattle snakes, bears, coyotes, eagles and whatnot. That's more than enough for me.

Thanks, I had a good laugh.


Wouldn't that be enough for anyone?

(in reply to happylittlepet)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: getting past fears - 1/1/2010 11:39:17 PM   
happylittlepet


Posts: 289
Status: offline 		It's the bugs/spiders I have a problem with, not the big stuff

_____________________________

There are no rules, there is only compassion.

Simple religion:
There is no need for temples,
No need for complicated philosophies
My brain and my heart are my temples
My philosophy is kindness (DL)

'There's a fire burning in my heart'

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: getting past fears - 1/2/2010 12:52:45 AM   
CountrySong


Posts: 554
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline 		UniqueRaven http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I&feature=player_embedded

That was too good and it lead to a bunch of anti-new zealand and anti-australian tourism clips.
Oh and be sure to watch this clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7ci3b-IsWg&feature=related after watching the movie Wolf Creek.

_____________________________

Cowboy clown and cowboy poet!
Jouster of windmills.
Knight in tarnished armor.
Rescuer of damsels who don't want to be rescued.
Dreamer of Impossible Dreams

(in reply to happylittlepet)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: getting past fears - 1/2/2010 2:06:05 AM   
HisBestGirl


Posts: 67
Joined: 11/16/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

hey, australia's not all that bad, tyvm.

and we tend to deal more harshly with illegal immigrants coming in on boats. y'know, the non "caucasian" sort. there's a history of that.

her biggest issue is likely to be proof that she has several thousand dollars safe in an account in the states. immigration has been known to turn away backpackers that look like they're set to stay put, and can't prove they have money.


"y'know, the non "caucasian" sort. there's a history of that."

Laughed aloud at that one. But as a fellow Aussie, I agree, Australia really isn't that harsh or rough of a country. Our quality of life is ranked higher than that of the US. But as Elisabella pointed out, it is incredibly hard to obtain residency here, despite our population.


_____________________________

Daddy's organic device for the collection of corsets...

"Your mother called, just to say how thrilled she was not to hear from you." - D.M


(in reply to KMsAngel)
Profile   Post #: 60
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