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LadyPact -> RE: on your list of requirements (12/30/2009 3:51:47 PM)
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ORIGINAL: osf
quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
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ORIGINAL: osf
on your list of requirements for a potential mate how do you rank your requirements, assuming it's the opposite sex
for me a need to be obedient is high
I'm trying to figure out the best way to answer this. I have an equality based primary relationship, so kink and authority weren't on the list when it came to My husband. Character, integrity, honesty, attitude about life, loyalty, values close to My own, the ability to compromise, sense of humor, intelligent, romance, and other things that I'm thinking most people want in a partner.
In a submissive (because I'm poly) I want those same types of character traits, plus I want the things that go with a power imbalance dynamic. That includes the stuff like obedience, ritual, protocol, and service. Since I'm also a sadist, I prefer masochists. As the person would be entering a poly family, a poly situation would have to be acceptable to them.
I may or may not be answering your question correctly, because I see My mate as My husband and yet the same question could apply to seeking an additional submissive. (Yeah, I know. I don't *need* three, but what the hell.)
if your primary relationship meets your shall we say higher needs then couldn't secondary relationship just need to meet a lower set of needs?
i've known a few dommes and that seemed to be the pattern
I tend to term these things as wants, rather than needs.
On the personal character traits, no. Anybody who is going to be intimately associated with My life has to be able to match My standards in areas such as honesty and integrity. I refuse to settle for less.
There are things on My primary partner's list that I don't require from a submissive. The ability to compromise doesn't have nearly as much impact when I expect someone to submit. That's why the obedience is different. I also don't search for a romantic component to be in the dynamic. I love My current boy and he loves Me as well, but that was something that happened over time and wasn't present at the outset.
Preferences, such as masochism, really is just that. I play casually (S/m, not casual sex) with others anyway, so there's not a lot hinging on that. I can have someone who is strictly a service submissive and that works out fine. Ritual and protocol are demands that I have and since anyone who would be wanting to serve Me knows that I'm a high protocol Domme shouldn't be surprised.
My husband and I started out as monogamous, so the requirement of being poly didn't exist when we met. That condition has changed compared to My life today and someone who can't accept poly in My life won't work.
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