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RE: Share litmus test for married? - 12/31/2009 5:33:08 PM

wykkidesire2plsU

Posts: 90
Joined: 12/9/2009
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quote:

Would you meet someone at a bar, and then tell them "no I don't think we should have dinner, let's just come meet each other at the bar every night for a month to see if we should try dating."

That made me laff, i might use that the next time someone wants to chat forever rather than have lunch :)

(in reply to Elisabella)

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RE: Share litmus test for married? - 12/31/2009 9:12:29 PM

lizi

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Joined: 2/1/2009
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Someone who keeps planning activities out somewhere with you but no alone time. This is because he has no where to take you. I got suckered in by that for a while. I thought he was really treating me as a special person and that he enjoyed my company oh so much...but he really had no where for us to go get naked so we went to movies, dinner, walks, baseball games, you name it. I was so confused for a while. This man seemed to be extremely attracted to me but we weren't getting to the down and dirty part. We kept on with the activities which on the surface seemed to say he respected me but I knew he wanted to get into my pants so why wasn't he? Yeah...figured it out after a while but I kept thinking he couldn't be married because we spent whole days together doing activity after activity. I was wrong

As someone else said he will finagle to have you invite him over to your place. Says his is too messy, that he has an obnoxious roomate, hasn't any furniture yet from moving in, whatever.

Gives you his cell phone number but doesn't answer it when you call and has a variety of reasons as to why. The phone was low on battery or he didn't have service, says that he doesn't generally carry the phone with him (?), claims he didn't hear it, says he was in a meeting, etc. Basically he calls you when she's not around and you never get a call in to him because he has to monitor it.

Seems to always call you when he's on an errand away from home. You get calls when he's on the way to the store or on the way to and from work, when he's getting gas, etc.

Doesn't do things with you on the spur of the moment. He can't, he has to have his excuse to be away from home prepared and set up.

I'll probably think of more later - that's it for now...

< Message edited by lizi -- 12/31/2009 9:16:23 PM >

(in reply to wykkidesire2plsU)

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RE: Share litmus test for married? - 12/31/2009 10:45:17 PM

QuirkyAnne

Posts: 268
Joined: 9/17/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

To be honest with you, if I were married, I'd tell you it was none of your business.

Out of curiosity, if you met a woman online or in real life you were interested in, would you want to know if she were married?

Anne

(in reply to antipode)

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RE: Share litmus test for married? - 12/31/2009 11:08:04 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

If you go down on your knees to gobble some cock, and there is already lipstick on that dipstick that aint your shade..............

Ron

Why oh why do you do this to meeeeeee

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RE: Share litmus test for married? - 1/1/2010 7:39:42 AM

kttqnp

Posts: 118
Joined: 1/21/2009
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When reading online ads, I've found that the word "discreet" usually equates to "married". Always sends up a red flag with me.

In my age group, most of the available men are divorced. Therefore, casual conversation usually works its way around to some mention of the "ex". If it doesn't come up naturally, it usually means he's still married. This isn't always foolproof in an age of multiple marriages and divorces, but it's a good indicator.

I always make it a point to ASK if a man is married when getting to know them. It's surprising how many will admit it, but not volunteer. Makes things a whole lot simpler to ask, instead of assuming. When I first came to CM, I had a paragraph in my profile about 'married men need not apply', blah, blah, blah. About as effective as troll spray.

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RE: Share litmus test for married? - 1/1/2010 7:42:32 AM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: QuirkyAnne

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

To be honest with you, if I were married, I'd tell you it was none of your business.

Out of curiosity, if you met a woman online or in real life you were interested in, would you want to know if she were married?

Anne

He would when her husband finds out about the affair and comes hunting him down with a shotgun.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

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RE: Share litmus test for married? - 1/1/2010 1:11:45 PM

alwayssummer

Posts: 89
Joined: 9/13/2008
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I am not looking for only a play partner and clearly state in my profile that I am not interested in anyone already attached. Should someone approach me without respecting that limit, I think it is very much my business. It speaks volumes about his character.
People who are attached (however lightly they view that attachment) are coming from a materially, sexually and emotionally different place from me as a single person. Our needs & lives are different and incompatible. To me it's a no brainer. I am not an emotional kamakazi.
Someone who misrepresents his relationship, by lying or omission, is perpetrating non consentual sex, and that is criminal; one dating site(True.com) even threatens jail and huge fines as a consequence. So just bringing up that fact in early conversation, if there are doubts, often is an effective deterrent.
It's pretty important to me to know the identity of someone I'm with - if we are attracted after meeting publicly. If he then won't reveal his name and exchange ids, (like a driver's license) something is seriously wrong, and I withdraw.
In the list of other behavior indicators, I think the most telling yet subtle of those already mentioned, is the guy who asks you little about yourself, has no interest in getting to actually know you. Often it's because they are already attached and just looking to get laid & move on. If not, they're probably not going to be a viable partner anyway for me because I, frankly, think my personality is my best feature.
I've encountered a pretty high percentage of truthful guys on Collarme, BTW. Impeccable honesty for many Doms is a natural trait, and the fact that this site has more a community atmosphere(than Alt for ex) perhaps fosters more authenticity too. Or maybe I've just been fortunate.

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RE: Share litmus test for married? - 1/1/2010 2:20:38 PM

LafayetteLady

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Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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FR-

When I start speaking with someone I often, as I imagine many do, will ask them about previous relationships. The general "getting to know you type," like have they ever been married, do they have children, how long have they been out of their last relationship. Obviously, if they answer they have been married, it leads to how long have you been divorced? While it is more difficult in email or chat to gauge the answers, it can still be done. Of course if you are sitting having coffee and ask these questions, his body language will be very telling.

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RE: Share litmus test for married? - 1/4/2010 8:59:32 PM

ceebee

Posts: 33
Joined: 7/28/2005
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Married people should play with other married people- it's easier that way. i have always been very upfront about about my nilla marriage and family, if blatantly describing yourself as a "MWF" and wearing your weddng rings counts as upfront. I far prefer relationships with men in similiar circumstances. For starters, it avoids the whole "your not making time for me" whine, when both people have other obligations they are far more likely to understand "This week just ain't working for me- Monday is scouts, Tuesday is Little League, Wed the beast inlaw is coming for dinner, Thursday is the band concert, and if i don't get to the store sometime I'll look like old mother hubbard." They're also better at understanding your reasons for declining to have BigDaddyMastersLittleBitch branded on your ass, thanks for the thought anyway.

If a married partner can't seem to find a way to get you alone, they are simply not being creative, or they're just really cheap. There are places (some of which have even fewer fleas that you'd expect) that will rent a room for $40 cash and not ask to many questions. If you live in the right area, tents can be pitched in nice secluded wooded areas during the summer, and at least one partner should have a big truck or SUV with a stash of baby wipes in the glove box! On rare occassions, ones' wifey will take the kids home to visit her family, or all the other kiddos with be packed off to school and somebodys spouse is at work, and you can play in a real bed with a shower and everything.

If your ultimate goal is a 24/7 LTR stay very far away from the married with children group, because chances are extrememly high they will not be upsetting the apple cart at home for that.

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