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Becoming true to my submissive side - 12/31/2009 9:16:35 PM

boundinside

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/7/2008
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For those who do not know me, the username boundinside was my previous account. My current account is eternallyYours. For some unknown reason i cannot create a forum account using my current username. Onward though. Since first discovering my love for submission i have been learning on a daily basis and my interest for certain kinks, such as feminization, is constantly increasing. Lately i have been becoming more self involved in feminine behavior, dressing/clothing styles, and even general femine activitis. For me, i can recall when i was a kid sneaking into my older sisters room and trying on her heels. It is truely amazing how the activites that one experiences when in their childhood comes back even after that person has fully matured. It is difficult to isolate the reasoning for my love for submission and, even more so, my latest love for feminization and attempting to present myself in a femine manner. i have taken such measures as to shaving any and all body hair. This including arms (underarms as well)...well You get it, everything. i have yet learned how to properly get a smooth shave without irritation, but have been reading up on a few methods and am certain that i will find the best method. i have also bought several pairs of ladies underware, by my own will i might add. i am accustomed to self enduced humiliation with a former Girlfriend of mine. This meaning that my ex-GF enjoys watching me carrying out random acts, raging from femine to general Femdom play. i know a few i was merely rambling a fews times right now, but i wanted to gain insight on why it might be that i have a sudden extreme attraction and desire to be feminized? i have always appreciated the beauty of a Woman and have been amazed with most every characteristic of Females. Does that explain my desire? Or is it simply because i am growing deeper into my submission and realize that most submissives/slaves are, to some degree, feminized?

Post #: 1

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 12/31/2009 9:50:04 PM

vincentML

Posts: 9980
Joined: 10/31/2009
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I do not agree that most submissive males are feminised, not at all. From what I have read from the Mistresses here I doubt you will find they have much agreemant with your statement nor are they seeking feminised men. I may be wrong, i concede. But you are equating femininity with submissiveness. That is a construct in your own fetish fantasies. It strikes me that all the attention you have paid to the shaving of your body is a bit narcisistic and self absorbed. I don't mean to be critical but that's what I perceive.

_____________________________

vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

(in reply to boundinside)

Post #: 2

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 12/31/2009 9:58:19 PM

boundinside

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

Thank you for the response. i am not sure why it is that i am so fixated with shaving. i suppose it is due to the fact that it is a common requirement for most feminized submissives, from what i have seen that is. Maybe the reason i have came to the assumption that most subs are feminized to some degree is because that is strictly what i have researched, a false assumption on my part as you just pointed out

(in reply to vincentML)

Post #: 3

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 12/31/2009 10:08:08 PM

vincentML

Posts: 9980
Joined: 10/31/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside

Thank you for the response. i am not sure why it is that i am so fixated with shaving. i suppose it is due to the fact that it is a common requirement for most feminized submissives, from what i have seen that is. Maybe the reason i have came to the assumption that most subs are feminized to some degree is because that is strictly what i have researched, a false assumption on my part as you just pointed out

Yes, truly I think it is a false assumption on your part. But it appears to be your fetish, enjoy it, good luck with it, but please do not generalize it. Being a sub male I have no interest in being feminized. Happy New Year.

_____________________________

vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

(in reply to boundinside)

Post #: 4

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 12/31/2009 10:16:56 PM

boundinside

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

Happy new year to you as well. Take care

(in reply to vincentML)

Post #: 5

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 12/31/2009 10:18:21 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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In addition to what vincent has said, it would be My opinion that you are not 'growing deeper into your submission'. What you are doing is growing deeper into your fetish. Those really are two different things.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to vincentML)

Post #: 6

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 12/31/2009 10:25:27 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside

Thank you for the response. i am not sure why it is that i am so fixated with shaving. i suppose it is due to the fact that it is a common requirement for most feminized submissives, from what i have seen that is. Maybe the reason i have came to the assumption that most subs are feminized to some degree is because that is strictly what i have researched, a false assumption on my part as you just pointed out

Yes, truly I think it is a false assumption on your part. But it appears to be your fetish, enjoy it, good luck with it, but please do not generalize it. Being a sub male I have no interest in being feminized. Happy New Year.

Vincent is bang on. I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to feminize a man. In fact, I'm all about going reinforcing some fundemental notions of what it is to be a gentleman (you can read my profile for details on this if you are curious).

A true submissive man (and for the record, I'm not so fond of using the word true) will communicate his needs and desires respectfully to his Domme and ensure that the very first one on the list is to please her and the second to obey her. Of course, this should only be done with a woman that you've gotten to know and trust and who has your best interest at heart.

You however seem to have your needs to have your fetish fulfilled first.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to vincentML)

Post #: 7

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 12/31/2009 10:25:51 PM

boundinside

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/7/2008
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i suppose thats is without a doubt true. However, being more in tone with my femine side and my desire to serve a Woman that wants a feminized sub/slave somehow gives me the feeling that i am growing to accept my future status. i hope that makes sense. To me, it is not the easiest to explain which is why i sought a few pieces of advise.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 8

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 12/31/2009 10:38:40 PM

boundinside

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

Lady Angelika, i have in fact questioned what you just now pointed out. "Am i placing my own fetishes in front of those of the Woman(s) that i seek to serve?" In my opinion, i am overwhelmed with the fetish, but i do not feel that i would ever place my own fantasies above the Woman(s) i serve. i have a great deal of respect for a Woman's needs and wants, therefore i do not feel that i would allow myself to do such a thing. But the fact is that i am currently still seeking out the right Woman and i feel the need to grow in this particular fetish for myself while i paciently search for the One

(in reply to boundinside)

Post #: 9

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 12/31/2009 10:55:13 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

But the fact is that i am currently still seeking out the right Woman and i feel the need to grow in this particular fetish for myself while i paciently search for the One

I strongly recommend against cultivating a fetish. It might stop you from having a healthy relationship down the road. Read here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fetishism

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to boundinside)

Post #: 10

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 12/31/2009 11:38:34 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside
But the fact is that i am currently still seeking out the right Woman and i feel the need to grow in this particular fetish for myself while i paciently search for the One

It is my opinion that it would be easier to find a dominant relationship before deepening too much into your kink. I say this, because you may become too much feminization kink, and not enough gentleman interested in a lady who is dominant, who may share your kinks. Once you establish a connection, there is no reason she couldn't guide you in your feminization, as she desires it, not as you've convinced yourself it ought to be... M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to boundinside)

Post #: 11

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 1/1/2010 12:02:18 AM

boundinside

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

Lady Angelika, thank You once again. i will definitely try to utalize the advice given and try to regulate myself so that, like you stated, any chances of having future relationships will not be effected. i admit that i am still learning, so in situations like this it is nice, also refreshing in a way, to be able seek advice.

FullfigRIMAAMI, thank You as well. It was along the same guidelines as Lady Angelika's response but it is still greatly appreciated to gain another opinion and insight.

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 12

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 1/1/2010 5:25:34 AM

Underumam

Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
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I haven't seen too many men who can look good enough to be taken seriously as a woman. Myself included. I don't mind being my Dominas little bitch from time to time, but I would make one fuggly woman, and most of the guys here are fuggly too. lol.

I'll gladly let the women be the women around here...

_____________________________

Proud and devoted collared servant of D~

(in reply to boundinside)

Post #: 13

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 1/1/2010 5:29:34 AM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
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it would be a cold day in hell before I feminized Underumam. He's simply all man and no matter what he does or doesn't do for me, he'll never feminized....even if he's in an apron washing dishes, he's not going to be feminized because he's simply not of that mind. He's not feminine, he's not girly, he's strong, manly, rugged and I like him just fine that way. Turning him girlish would not be conducive to our choices in our life together.

Your desires to become femme in my opinion, are due to the same things that I believe drive all of us...you're probably hard wired for it. You find an interest in it, you've obviously become obsessed to some degree with it and I would have to think that's because you are hard wired in some way to crave it. (That is if you can't attribute it to something in your life taking you on that path).

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to boundinside)

Post #: 14

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 1/1/2010 6:07:48 AM

Lucienne

Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside
However, being more in tone with my femine side and my desire to serve a Woman that wants a feminized sub/slave somehow gives me the feeling that i am growing to accept my future status. i hope that makes sense. To me, it is not the easiest to explain which is why i sought a few pieces of advise.

From reading your posts here and your existing profile (nice legs, btw) I'd say some clarity is in order. Your profile says that you want to serve as a female slave (not full transformation). You talk about building your submission, but as already noted, what exactly is it that you are submitting to? It's not an external force. You may desire submission to another, but what you are currently doing is more along the lines of just being who you want to be. This probably involves a certain degree of resignation to no longer fighting with yourself over gender norms, but I'm not sure its healthy to frame that as submission. You're self-actualizing and that's inherently assertive even if you want it to lead to a place where you can submit to the will of another.

So, that, and, this may be a failure of imagination on my part since I don't personally seek a feminized male, but what exactly is the role of a Dominant in your life? Reading this thread, it seemed to me that you were looking for a woman to hold your hand through gender re-assignment surgery. I see from your profile that you're not interested in taking things that far, but it is unclear to me if you're talking about getting sexually excited by wearing women's clothes or if you're talking in terms of gender identity. I see this as two different things, and I suspect that the (apparently small number of) dominant women who'd be interested in this sort of thing probably would to. If a woman is excited by feminizing a man, how will she be excited by you presenting yourself as already self-feminized? Reading between the lines of what you've written, I suspect that what you are looking for is not a woman who will take you through the process of feminization, but one that will enjoy taking you on and dominating you in that feminized state. I'm not sure what I'm writing is making any sense at all. Lol. These things are kind of difficult to talk about and I'm far from having the well-developed gender issue related vocabulary to do it with an admirable degree of precision. Sorry! Hope this helps.

(in reply to boundinside)

Post #: 15

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 1/1/2010 7:16:07 AM

vincentML

Posts: 9980
Joined: 10/31/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

I haven't seen too many men who can look good enough to be taken seriously as a woman. Myself included. I don't mind being my Dominas little bitch from time to time, but I would make one fuggly woman, and most of the guys here are fuggly too. lol.

I'll gladly let the women be the women around here...

Not to make light of the OP's fetish, I am laughing at my own imagined self-image. I would surely not cut the mustard as a sweet, dainty, submissive slip of a girl. Fuggly is quite on the mark, underumam. If the Op is pretty, perhaps it is proper for him. On the other hand it may be a form of too much self admiration. If so, it will crowd out room for intense love and service to your Domme, I suspect. Just sayin' cause while you give lip service to the future dommes's needs you seem preoccupied by your own. Furthermore, you are limiting your search field. May I say this without insulting you but you teeter on the edge of being a "do me" sub. I hope my words do not offend. Just trying to give my honest opinion....known to be wrong many times. lol

_____________________________

vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

(in reply to Underumam)

Post #: 16

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 1/1/2010 7:42:53 AM

Underumam

Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline

lol. I wasn't making light of the op's fetish or the Domme's who like it either Vince, just stating a fact.. I question the sanity of anyone who would wanna see me( a bearded man) dressed up like a woman..I can scarcely imagine..

_____________________________

Proud and devoted collared servant of D~

(in reply to vincentML)

Post #: 17

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 1/1/2010 10:19:46 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

Dressed as a woman? no ... wearing a dress ... maybe. I do have a thing for guys who still look masculine in a dress or skirt (and kilts are just freaking awesome!).

A guy crossdressing just leaves me cold - doesn't turn me on in the least. I have seen some who pass quite well, and I'd be happy to go out shopping with them and hang out with them as friends - but to date them? nope, not happening. If I want fem, I have Holly.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to Underumam)

Post #: 18

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 1/1/2010 10:55:46 AM

vincentML

Posts: 9980
Joined: 10/31/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

lol. I wasn't making light of the op's fetish or the Domme's who like it either Vince, just stating a fact.. I question the sanity of anyone who would wanna see me( a bearded man) dressed up like a woman..I can scarcely imagine..

Sorry, I didn't mean you underumam. I was referring to the OP. Gotta watch my sentence syntax.

_____________________________

vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

(in reply to Underumam)

Post #: 19

RE: Becoming true to my submissive side - 1/2/2010 7:43:08 AM

subMan4Madame

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
A true submissive man (and for the record, I'm not so fond of using the word true) will communicate his needs and desires respectfully to his Domme and ensure that the very first one on the list is to please her and the second to obey her. Of course, this should only be done with a woman that you've gotten to know and trust and who has your best interest at heart.

You however seem to have your needs to have your fetish fulfilled first.
- LA

Dear Lady Angelika,

the following is not immediately relevant for the OP, but it would seem to me that your "twue D/s" is indeed biased and really a pars pro toto fallacy (as if the pleasing dynamics alone could represent the full set of D/s dynamics).

A more GENERAL concept for D/s is more like:
1) respecting the emotional power dynamics that you feel you could consent to,
2) obey your dominant if you can (and then you could even accept being forced, with your consensus following only ex post).

Pleasers will respect and obey, but a motivation like pleasing a person is primarily about an altruistic personality. Their counterparts, antagonists, get their kick out of engaging in opposition and even struggle. They are motivated for the love of a good fight (with a strong person). Extreme example: eroticized blackmail is an antagonistic D/s dynamic, but hardly about "pleasing a partner"? Why exclude people from D/s-typing based merely on their personality?

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 20

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