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akisha -> RE: Collars when married to others (3/24/2006 10:25:17 PM)
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quote:
i am sorry, i think it is wrong and just stupid to be married to one person and collared to someone else... It makes the life style a joke to those who truly take it to heart... i was once collared to a married man for 7 years... i knew he would never leave his wife and family, and at that time i didnt want him too... With time i grew and needed more in my life, more then he would ever be able to give...
It is like cyber, it isnt real...
~lowers her eyes in respect~
~kitten
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That is so unfair and uninformed to say.
There is no right and wrong excpet what is right or wrong for the individual or individuals involved.
One of the greatest things i love about this lifestyle is most others except you for who and what you are and what need or are not willing to do.
It is no ones place to say what works for some is wrong.
years ago i orriginally looked at a poly situation and thought. now how the hell would that work. there is no way i'd ever do that. But then a few years later, i was welcomed into the home of very good friends, and it made our relationsip better and closer. We are still family even though i no longer live with them. They're whole family adopted me and i'm still expected and invited to all the family gatherings.
i'm not saying a poly relationship or a multiple partner realationsip works for everyone, because it doesn't. And realistically most only last a short time because peoples needs and wants change consistantly.
If you know it would never work for you that is fine, then never do it. but why judge something that you've never experienced and condem it for everyone?
There are so many things i've never done, some of them i don;'t think i'd ever want to try *smiles* but i'd not condem anyone else for wanting and liking them. Unless it hurt innocent children. that is one thing i wont condone.
i quit playing completely during my marriage to my nilla husband out of respect for him and the fact that He did not agree with outside play. and it worked, for a couple years, then my fustration grew. i was totally disatisfied with my life. i learned i can not live with out a Master and he learned he could not give me that or allow me to find it else where. Hence i am single again.
This whole lifestyle is really hard enough with out us condeming each other from with in. If the person that is married but collared to a different person is happy, and tha vanilla spouse is happy, and the Dom/me or slave is happy. Who are they hurting? Why should anyone judge something that works well for them?
ok, i'm almost done lol. i discussed the possibility of entering a poly relationship with my mother ( a very non liberal women) and at first she freaked until i made her sit down and think of the positive aspects of such a relationship. After a few minute of thinking, she admitted that if everyone is happy and taken care of then really what could she say against it. Her worry ofcourse was mainly for my daughter being in a non conventional household.
All i ask is for those who are soo against it, just sit and think for a few minutes as to how much love and comfort and support there is in a poly relationship. In a household where there is always someone to help, always someone to hold you, always someone to talk to. If your husband is nilla, but gives you the gift of his trust to let you serve Another that will fulfil i desperate need in your life, is rewarded with a much more content, happy and loving spouse. Plus, usually ends up finding a really good friend in the One she is serving.
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