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RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/22/2006 12:13:04 AM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		I wish to thank everyone for their insight into this situation...I have spoken with her and told her she needs to speak with Him as well as have gotten a clearer idea of what happened...He informed her she was under His protection as well as under His training collar...she has not spoken to Him since this email from Him. He has called her cell numerous times and emailed her...all which she has ignored. Evidently this situation has been experienced mostly in His imagination and not between the two of them. Nothing had been accepted. I still think she needs to clear this up with Him and not just ignore the situation...I have tried emailing Him a couple of times and get both His 'blessing' and His tirades about poaching...she has been told He will continue watching her...I tend to agree with MHOO314 that this is an extreme case of jealousy...as for the 'sudden' change between two days, I did not go into detail regarding that situation as that is something intimate between her and I; I articulated that situation poorly and apologize but to be honest, that aspect is nobody's business...I should've left that element out completely and perhaps My question would've been clearer...I also apologize for not having a better understanding about the situation before posting My question.
she will speak with HIm and if that doesn't clear it up...well, that opinion isn't necessary...LOL.
Thank you again, I find everyone's honesty and candor on the board refreshing and it is respected.
C 

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/22/2006 12:17:10 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		CERCKL

Good Luck hun.... best wishes to you and yours in your new journey.


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/22/2006 12:26:05 AM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you...I have come to enjoy your words on the boards and respect you quite a bit; if you ever come to this side of the country I'll have her make Turkish coffee for you :-)

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/22/2006 4:51:55 AM   
jennalynn


Posts: 67
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		"Yuppers.... this is how my Master has trained me.  And what I thought when I read the first post.  BUT ~ My other thought... you did not know about the Protector until after you offered her your collar?  That, to me, is a breach of protocol on her part, not yours.  How could you discuss your intent with her Protector if you did not know that she had one?  That is my concern.  What else has she not told you??? "

(sorry, trying to figure out how to get the quotes now that they have changed it..lol)

i agree with the above post....

my question would be WHY did she hide the fact that she had a protector from You.  

But with that said, You tried to speak to him once You knew, he blew You off.... You did Your best and he will need to survive.   Good Luck to both of you.

jenna

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/22/2006 8:07:53 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL
as for the 'sudden' change between two days, I did not go into detail regarding that situation as that is something intimate between her and I;

You are not the only one who had a sub go from not sure about "being yours" to "being yours" in a short span of time. My sub was unsure of entering an exclusive relationship when I brought the subject up on a Weds. That Fri we attended a play party together and some woman walked up to him and started smacking him in the balls. I interposed my hand physically between his balls and the object with which she was hitting him. A few hours later, as we settled into the hotel, (he lived an hour away and the parties ran quite late) he shyly told me that he wished to go ahead and make the relationship exclusive. I was surprised and delighted. I'd expected it to take a few months for him to get over the fear of losing his "singlehood" I asked him what had changed his mind, and he said that he liked that I had protected him and it made it more apparent to him that he had someone special. Sometimes, something just jells and wonderful things happen. *smiles* Congrats on your pairing!

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/22/2006 8:09:11 AM   
starymists


Posts: 139
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline 		From a protocol stance, how can you be under a training collar and not know that? If he is going to be a stickler for protocol, then there should be some kind of agreement or contract on what he's training her on. My best advice at this point is to have her petition for release from whatever protection/relationship she has with this guy and be done with it. You can't be in control of his protocol understanding or practice. All you can do is to keep your side of the street clean. If you've made a good faith effort to straighten this out, she's tried to talk it out, and he isn't going to listen/understand or he's going to continue to play the blame game, or won't let go, there is not a lot you can do beyond blocking further communication. Perhaps he has a reason to believe there was more of a relationship there than there obviously was, and perhaps he doesn't. That tends to be the problem with not being 100% honest from the beginning...there is always some doubt until the trust is repaired. Question is how to move on from here. I've been around these situations before, and sometimes damage is not fixable. It's a rough situation, and I wish you luck as you move forward :)
 
~Tessa~

(in reply to jennalynn)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/22/2006 10:33:25 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

That Fri we attended a play party together and some woman walked up to him and started smacking him in the balls. I interposed my hand physically between his balls and the object with which she was hitting him.


Ummmmm People actually do this at parties? With out asking anyones permission? Damn... I know my former Master would of snatched said object and smacked the smacker back.


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/22/2006 10:43:11 AM   
mistressandy


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline 		even though subs are slaves they do have the right to refuse or commit to the master that they think will be the best for them so go for it put the collar around and begin to train her the way you want ,untill both parties agree its just like love
all fair in sub and dom world

(in reply to TheTopHat)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/22/2006 11:11:21 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

He informed her she was under His protection as well as under His training collar...


That's just bad form and sounds very convenient to bring it up now after the facts. You're her Master, Cerckl.. is this the sort of person whom you wish your submissive to continue to try to smooth over their ruffled feathers? If this guy was in contact with a slave of mine, I'd totally shut off communication completely. Masters don't 'inform' people that they are in a collar of training. Such is a mutual decision. Does she even know this guy off line because this sounds like he's coming from a place of cyber hooey to me.

Your call, though.. you're the one who owns her now.

Be well and truly, best of luck as you start your new path together..

Celeste

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 3/22/2006 11:12:06 AM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/22/2006 11:33:59 AM   
sweetkcredhead


Posts: 104
Joined: 3/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips

I think you are off to a rocky start.  You "suddenly" own someone due to a choice she made as a reaction to some incident.  Further, she was supposedly under the "protection" of another and you were not told about this -- you, a person she trusts and is connected to enough to call Master?

IMO it is the submissive's responsibility to make anyone courting her aware of any existing relationships she intends to maintain or any protocol she has agreed to prior.  If she did not do this, it is her responsibility to correct the situation if possible. Or does the responsibility of owning her include fixing her mistakes?

Intended or not, clearly the Dom does feel his toes have been stepped on.  The questions is...do you care?



Awesome reply! I think many times, subs hide behind submission as a way to not take personal responsibility. This is also, at times, furthered by roles such as Protector or trainer. As a sub, the FIRST person responsible for my safety and protection is ME. Meaning, for example, if i were a single sub looking, I wouldnt make unwise choices to meet potential Doms in private or jump into play too fast. IMHO, with the use of basic safety protocol and good common sense, protectors aren't necessary. Get involved in the local community and make friends, rely on fellow lifestylers to teach you those common red flags.

Bottom line in the OP...the Dom didnt know....seems the sub should own up to her responsibility and initiate some reconcilliation between the two.

sarah

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/22/2006 11:37:31 AM   
MasterVirage


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		You did not intentionally "step" on his toes,  so I see no slight..that would have been if you had "stolen" her away..

As a pro I have had subs come with others for "protection" when first meeting me (I have no problem with that) and when they felt comfortable,  they came alone.  This is not uncommon and and many women (I deal only with female subs) want to take an extra pre-caution because of some of the psychos out there that have made a bad name for this lifestyle.  I understand this and do not feel offended.  In fact,  I've encouraged potential clients to come with someone else,  if it would make them feel better.  Many do.

Understand that some male doms are into this only because they hate women and are looking for a reason to mistreat and abuse,  to extend their hatred.  One of the many reasons I have been so successful is that I DON'T hate women and in fact appreciate them.  It comes out as I speak,  and I've been told this.

Back to you -
You did nothing wrong.  If you wanted to tell the other Master you meant no offense,  that is ok,  but don't apologize for something you didn't do.  And don't let him brow-beat you into something you didn't mean to say. 

His ego may be bruised,  but then again,  he should understand the situation and not take it personally.  I've had subs decide that I wasn't what they were looking for..no problem.  I never took offense to it.

-Master Virage

_____________________________

"Once I have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow." - H.R. Haldeman, January, 1969

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/22/2006 11:40:50 AM   
sweetkcredhead


Posts: 104
Joined: 3/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

He informed her she was under His protection as well as under His training collar...


That's just bad form and sounds very convenient to bring it up now after the facts. You're her Master, Cerckl.. is this the sort of person whom you wish your submissive to continue to try to smooth over their ruffled feathers? If this guy was in contact with a slave of mine, I'd totally shut off communication completely. Masters don't 'inform' people that they are in a collar of training. Such is a mutual decision. Does she even know this guy off line because this sounds like he's coming from a place of cyber hooey to me.

Your call, though.. you're the one who owns her now.

Be well and truly, best of luck as you start your new path together..

Celeste


LOL this is what I get for not reading it all first. I love the way this is worded lmao! Agreed.


Good luck to Y/you B/both!

sarah

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/22/2006 12:05:26 PM   
MsMirielle


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Though, perhaps unintentional on your part, sounds like he also wanted to eventually assume the role you did.

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/23/2006 2:25:16 AM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		"That's just bad form and sounds very convenient to bring it up now after the facts. You're her Master, Cerckl.. is this the sort of person whom you wish your submissive to continue to try to smooth over their ruffled feathers? If this guy was in contact with a slave of mine, I'd totally shut off communication completely. Masters don't 'inform' people that they are in a collar of training. Such is a mutual decision. Does she even know this guy off line because this sounds like he's coming from a place of cyber hooey to me.

Your call, though.. you're the one who owns her now. "

she had met Him once...she has had no contact with Him since before we met in person...I had informed Him that it was not His place to lecture Mine in protocol...He has bounced from 'releasing' her to telling her He'll be watching her...he doesn't have her home number or know where she lives. He emailed me and after deciphering His grammer I came up with the fact this guy lives in His own little world.
lotus belongs to Me. Period. I have informed Him any and all communication must go through Me...and He ignores that and still leaves voicemails on her cell and emails her constantly. So at this point, I tried and now He can go fornicate with Himself and His right hand as far as I'm concerned...Just attempted to be polite.
Thanks again for all the kind words and I am certain we will have a long and intense path together.
C




_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/23/2006 2:30:14 AM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		"Back to you -
You did nothing wrong.  If you wanted to tell the other Master you meant no offense,  that is ok,  but don't apologize for something you didn't do.  And don't let him brow-beat you into something you didn't mean to say. 

His ego may be bruised,  but then again,  he should understand the situation and not take it personally."

Well, you are more mature than He...as far as Him brow-beating me...laughing, out of respect, I tried to be polite...game's over. Politeness and tact is not my initial nature...perhaps He can find one less experienced than mine to play out His fantasies for Him.
Me, I am just happy with her and her service. She pleases me as no other ever has. she is a very special girl.
C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to MasterVirage)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Protection, Protocol and Ownership... - 3/23/2006 8:26:45 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

That Fri we attended a play party together and some woman walked up to him and started smacking him in the balls. I interposed my hand physically between his balls and the object with which she was hitting him.


Ummmmm People actually do this at parties? With out asking anyones permission? Damn... I know my former Master would of snatched said object and smacked the smacker back.

yuppers, and the woman is supposedly a respected proDomme. Needless to say, I was VERY angry.  But it did have the silver lining of helping my sub (now husband) figure out what he wanted. *smiles*



_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 36
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