Saviour? (Full Version)

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Daddy519 -> Saviour? (1/3/2010 8:34:03 PM)

I've had an interesting exchange here that I thought to seek feedback on.

I was just told that Daddy Dom's are all about "saving people".  I thought that was interesting.  I'm not looking for someone to save so it came as a surprise to me.
I would go as far as to say if someone wasn't stable emotionally and financially I might run in the opposite direction.

So, is that the prevailing opinion?  Daddy Dom's save people?  If that's the case I need to redo my profile.




trealeon -> RE: Saviour? (1/3/2010 8:40:34 PM)

Hmm, I consider myself to be a Daddy Dom. I don't think I'm out to save anyone. But hey, maybe I am subconsciously and just don't know it.

Everyone has opinions about everything. But they are just that, opinions. Everyone's personality is different, and people think different ways about different things. So all you have to do, if you're A Daddy Dom and don't want to rescue someone is find a "little girl" sub who doesn't need rescuing :). They're out there. I've found a couple.



LadyAngelika -> RE: Saviour? (1/3/2010 8:41:18 PM)

Are you all about saving people? If you are not, there this should not be an issue.

I looked at your profile and there is nothing really that screams "I'll take care of all your problems" so you should be fine.

What is most important is that you need to define what it is that you want and don't let anyone tell you what you should be or not :-)

- LA



AquaticSub -> RE: Saviour? (1/3/2010 8:41:36 PM)

First I've heard of it. *shrugs* But I don't really know.



Daddy519 -> RE: Saviour? (1/3/2010 8:47:40 PM)

Thank god...I thought I had screwed up yet again! :D

I'm really just a sadist with a penchant for teaching :)



LadyAngelika -> RE: Saviour? (1/3/2010 8:54:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddy519

I'm really just a sadist with a penchant for teaching :)



You could always change your handle to ProfessorShadenfreude or HeadmasterMean ;-)

- LA



tsatske -> RE: Saviour? (1/3/2010 9:00:05 PM)

I have noticed that certain Doms, some who call themselves 'DaddyDoms', and some who do not, have a kind of wounded bird kink.

It is okay that you do not. really, it's okay.

don't let a total stranger bully you into using the language the way they wish to order you to (the most fundemental type of brainwashing, imo).

most likely they are someone looking to be saved. And, srrsly, even if you were into saving people, there are lots of people needing to be saved - probably some in your neihborhood, some in your family, some in your church, and a few you've been decades long friends with. if you did have that kink, why would you take it out on a totaly stranger on the internet?


ETA - but just in case it works, I could really use a new car.



lizi -> RE: Saviour? (1/3/2010 9:18:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddy519

I've had an interesting exchange here that I thought to seek feedback on.

I was just told that Daddy Dom's are all about "saving people".  I thought that was interesting.  I'm not looking for someone to save so it came as a surprise to me.
I would go as far as to say if someone wasn't stable emotionally and financially I might run in the opposite direction.

So, is that the prevailing opinion?  Daddy Dom's save people?  If that's the case I need to redo my profile.




Saving people...is that how it works? Hmm, I'd like one of those kind....where can I sign up?
Eh, it's just like being called out on not being real and/or true. Basically people seem to have their own rules on what they expect from others because THEY want it...not because it's supposed to be that way.



vincentML -> RE: Saviour? (1/3/2010 9:37:57 PM)

More likely can be called a co-dependent fetish.... since we are finding new uses for the word "fetish" of late. [:D]



QuirkyAnne -> RE: Saviour? (1/3/2010 9:56:18 PM)

Of the profiles I've read and only a couple that I've talked to on what makes someone a daddy dom, I can see how some subs could interpret the philosophy behind it to mean, "I'll take care of you and all your worldly troubles."  However, I suspect that the kind of sub who would view it that way and actively seek out a daddy who would do this for her has far deeper issues than loneliness, greed and usury being the first couple that come to mind.

Anne



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Saviour? (1/3/2010 10:31:10 PM)

First, if that's what Daddy Dom's do, why would that dictate that you refo your profile? Be yourself... if the label is wrong, pick another one.

No one is the White Knight or the Savior or the Rescuer unless they want to be, Daddy Doms included.

Master Fire



Hawkwindblues -> RE: Saviour? (1/4/2010 12:08:42 AM)

To have a caring personality and most Daddy or Mommy types i have met have them, can lead to the wish to save somebody.

But that saving modus is a very dangerous trap, like codependency with a drug/alcohol user.

The generalization is totally wrong, It is a special dynamic but it is not predestined to be about saving somebody. Do not change your profile.



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Saviour? (1/4/2010 1:04:47 AM)

Actually, the same has often been said of s-types in general... that if they seek another to guide, lead, make decisions, set boundaries, and so on, then they are looking for someone to "save" them;  which doesn't necessarily mean financially, or even emotionally (in general)... but in at least one specific "emotional" aspect of their lives. 

For many involved in the Daddy/little girl dynamic, the "Daddy" often takes on somewhat of a paternal figure... so sure, I can see why this particular person thought "Daddy = Save", as they see "little girls" seeking a "Daddy" as wanting to be "saved" from real life.  Obviously this isn't the reality of that dynamic, but to those that aren't into the D/lg dynamic, I can kinda get why they might feel that way about the individuals involved.




allthatjaz -> RE: Saviour? (1/4/2010 1:29:15 AM)

Absolutely not. The white night versus the victim is a whole other ball game and being a Daddy Dom has nothing to do with it.

They say: Beware of the perceptual victim but be more aware of the man that looks to rescue them.

There are of course genuine victims and rescuers. An example of that may be someone drowning in a lake and someone comes along and gets them out. The victim thanks the rescuer and life then moves on.
The above is not the kind of rescuer that I presume your talking about. what your talking about is a drama triangle with a persecutor, a victim and a rescuer. The victim looks for a rescuer that will perpetuate their negative feelings. Being a perpetual victim is a safe place because it blocks them from making decisions and solving problems. They will want to keep their position of being a victim.
The rescuer or what is sometimes known as the 'marshmallow daddy' will keep his victim dependent, gives them permission to fail, will prefer to keep them as a victim and will often seek out gratitude from others for rescuing this poor maiden!

Unfortunately I think we see quite a lot of drama triangles within this lifestyle. Its fairly easy for a 'marshmallow daddy' to find someone who is feeling wretched because her relationship hasn't worked out. All the play that she previously enjoyed with her dominant has suddenly become abuse and she wants to tell people about it. Along comes the marshmallow man who sees this as a way in. He doesn't really want to rescue her but he can use those sympathetic skills to wind his way into a possible relationship.

Now don't get me wrong... there really are some genuine victims out there that need a helping hand, a listening ear and an understanding mind. Unfortunately they often fall for the marshmallow daddy because he's so good at what he does and if he fails with one victim he will brush himself off and go and look for another victim.

Daddy Dom does not represent a Marshmallow Daddy and I don't see why you should change your name because one person is misrepresenting what your title means.



PrimalConsonance -> RE: Saviour? (1/4/2010 3:12:16 AM)

(CNJDom says:)  I've been told of being a savior before and most likely so...looking back, I was subconsciously looking for others be it vanilla or otherwise that were in need of some sort of help.  I gravitated towards that.  Some will say that being helpful and supportive, are savior qualities.   We all like for the most part to have those qualities, and some really get off on it on a personal level.  I'm more aware of this trait now, and since I have my submissive who really doesn't need fixing; I feel I'm changing my ways on a conscious level, and don't actively seek this anymore.  Ahh, nothing like a good session of S.A. (Savior's Anonymous). 



Hawkwindblues -> RE: Saviour? (1/4/2010 5:04:37 AM)

To make sure i was understood right:

I do not think that the generalization made about Daddys or Mommys is right.



NuevaVida -> RE: Saviour? (1/4/2010 2:38:01 PM)

I did not need saving and my Daddy was not looking to save anyone.  To us, Daddy means a nurturing authority figure.



DesFIP -> RE: Saviour? (1/4/2010 4:00:28 PM)

Some are white knights, some aren't. Same responses you would get out of any group of people seeking a relationship.



LadyCimarron -> RE: Saviour? (1/4/2010 4:03:52 PM)

I'm no expert, but I always felt "daddy doms" were nurturers. The kind of man that wanted to love, protect, and show deep affection for a lady. I don't think I've ever seen one hanging out on skid row looking for a "girl that needs saving."



antipode -> RE: Saviour? (1/4/2010 4:31:30 PM)

quote:

Daddy Dom's save people?


In a way, I suppose. When you tie up a sub, she can't fall or walk under a bus, that sort of thing.



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