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Not real - 1/3/2010 9:55:53 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

Yeah, I know, there are a million threads on here about people boo-hooing that someone said they are 'not real'

and another million with people whining that 'no one here is real', ect, ect, ect.

I'm just wondering, when you get a letter from someone telling you that 'all they meet are fakes, I'm so glad you're real, you're just what I'm looking for',

am I the only one who is hugely turned off by this? I usually write back and tell them we are probably not a match.

cause usually 'not real' is just a derogatory term for 'not a match for me', and I don't think i would be a good match for someone who is judgemental like that.

And, 'everyone is a bunch of fakes' seems to me to indicate someone who does not get along well socially in the lifestyle, and probably not other places, either, and i even list my love of this lifestyle, for it's social connections, events, friendships, whathaveyou, right on my profile as one of the important factors to me. So, if you feel like everyone in the lifestyle is 'fake', we're probably not going to get on that well.

Does anyone else find it an instant turn off, to, well, basicly be called 'real'?

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

Post #: 1

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 9:58:30 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Negativity is a turn off

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 2

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:02:27 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

Yeah, I know, there are a million threads on here about people boo-hooing that someone said they are 'not real'

and another million with people whining that 'no one here is real', ect, ect, ect.

I'm just wondering, when you get a letter from someone telling you that 'all they meet are fakes, I'm so glad you're real, you're just what I'm looking for',

am I the only one who is hugely turned off by this? I usually write back and tell them we are probably not a match.

cause usually 'not real' is just a derogatory term for 'not a match for me', and I don't think i would be a good match for someone who is judgemental like that.

And, 'everyone is a bunch of fakes' seems to me to indicate someone who does not get along well socially in the lifestyle, and probably not other places, either, and i even list my love of this lifestyle, for it's social connections, events, friendships, whathaveyou, right on my profile as one of the important factors to me. So, if you feel like everyone in the lifestyle is 'fake', we're probably not going to get on that well.

Does anyone else find it an instant turn off, to, well, basicly be called 'real'?

cm doesn't have enough disk capacity for me to start a thread about people saying i'm not real

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 3

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:22:11 PM

curls84

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

To osf,

It might be just me but when i read that - be it said to me or read in a profile - it makes me feel guilty for some reason and almost makes me want to do whatever they say just to show that though im new i am serious about learning more/experiencing this part of myself. The same as above applies to the statement 'don't waste my time'. One has to be careful.

To the originial poster,

But no i don't think its a turn off. Not really a turn on either for me but i welcome and enjoy the compliment, if that were ever said to me, ha. Anyone who says they hate fakes might have had one too many bad experiences. I say try to have some more patience. Things can come out/off wrong from people sometimes. I can see what you mean though, like, " is the only reason they're talking to me is because i am who i say i am?? You don't even know me yet, or i you."

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 4

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:28:23 PM

LadyChallene

Posts: 207
Joined: 5/18/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

Does anyone else find it an instant turn off, to, well, basicly be called 'real'?

:: laughs ::
I'll go you one better. I got 'kissed off' the other day because I was quote "Too Real". My silent statement to that was ... "WTF! Of all the times I hear the bitching, whinnying, whimpering and moaning ... none of which are done in the good or acceptable manner ... and I get my ass kissed off for being too damn real. Kiss my lily white ass." :: laughs :: Have you seen my ass?

Ok that last was uncalled for, but my point is ... is there some point in time where I can look forward to either not being labeled, 'Too good to be real, therefore she's fake.' or 'Too real'?

Sincerely wondering.

Lady Challene

< Message edited by LadyChallene -- 1/3/2010 10:31:13 PM >

_____________________________

Heads I win, tails you lose.
Will that squeak if I squeeze it?
I hate torturing people, but I'm really, really good at it.

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 5

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:30:23 PM

InvisibleBlack

Posts: 865
Joined: 7/24/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

cm doesn't have enough disk capacity for me to start a thread about people saying i'm not real

You have to be real. I couldn't have imagined you.

_____________________________

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 6

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:31:35 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

It might be just me but when i read that - be it said to me or read in a profile - it makes me feel guilty for some reason and almost makes me want to do whatever they say just to show that though im new i am serious about learning more/experiencing this part of myself. The same as above applies to the statement 'don't waste my time'. One has to be careful.

explain that and i'll respond

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to curls84)

Post #: 7

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:32:49 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyChallene

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

Does anyone else find it an instant turn off, to, well, basicly be called 'real'?

:: laughs ::
I'll go you one better. I got 'kissed off' the other day because I was quote "Too Real". My silent statement to that was ... "WTF! Of all the times I hear the bitching, whinnying, whimpering and moaning ... none of which are done in the good or acceptable manner ... and I get my ass kissed off for being too damn real. Kiss my lily white ass." :: laughs :: Have you seen my ass?

Ok that last was uncalled for, but my point is ... is there some point in time where I can look forward to either not being labeled, 'Too good to be real, therefore she's fake.' or 'Too real'?

Sincerely wondering.

Lady Challene

hello, my biggest sin is not taking the advice of the real ones

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to LadyChallene)

Post #: 8

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:33:19 PM

curls84

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

osf,

nevermind, i was just rambling:)

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 9

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:34:47 PM

LadyChallene

Posts: 207
Joined: 5/18/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

It might be just me but when i read that - be it said to me or read in a profile - it makes me feel guilty for some reason and almost makes me want to do whatever they say just to show that though im new i am serious about learning more/experiencing this part of myself. The same as above applies to the statement 'don't waste my time'. One has to be careful.

explain that and i'll respond

I think what Curls was meaning was that when they see a statement about 'fakes', 'everyone being fakes' makes them sad and leaves them wanting to make things a bit better for that person if they can so they will stop prejudging everyone ... almost everyone.

I'm only guessing and going on instinct, if I am wrong, I apologize.

Lady Challene

< Message edited by LadyChallene -- 1/3/2010 10:38:25 PM >

_____________________________

Heads I win, tails you lose.
Will that squeak if I squeeze it?
I hate torturing people, but I'm really, really good at it.

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 10

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:36:07 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

Does anyone else find it an instant turn off, to, well, basicly be called 'real'?

Yup, it really turns me off as well. As soon as I get that I remind them that everyone is a real person or I just go into my "I'm butterscotch candy" routine. When I see that, I just know that I'm going to be included in their next bitch-fest.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 11

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:36:41 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

i have a domme goose if i need someone to make me feel better

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to LadyChallene)

Post #: 12

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:38:31 PM

kikkikat

Posts: 60
Joined: 7/16/2008
Status: offline

Well at first I also found it off putting.
But when I thought about it more. . on CollarMe there are a WHOLE LOT of fake accounts. Maybe that's more what they are referring to. Not negative so much as stating a frustrating fact.

_____________________________

~Kat

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 13

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:41:46 PM

curls84

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

Lady Challene,

Yes, that was what i was going for with that statement, thank you.

(in reply to kikkikat)

Post #: 14

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:43:27 PM

QuirkyAnne

Posts: 268
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline

I've had some emails like that which seemed very much like form letters to me. I always try and respond politely and if the person is a wanker then it will be evident usually within the next message I receive from them.

I have however received some messages in which I took it to be a compliment but only because the message was well written and the content clearly indicated that the person had taken the time to read my profile and usually their own profile was filled out with some rhyme and reason as well. While I've not met any of them in real life, we did communicate pleasantly until we discovered that we weren't compatible and then 'parted way' amicably.

For me, it's all dependent on how the term is used in relation to the quality of their message.

Anne

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 15

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:45:37 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

kroses an offe mi tu riit to liss

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to QuirkyAnne)

Post #: 16

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:56:30 PM

sincityprincess

Posts: 59
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

Yeah, I know, there are a million threads on here about people boo-hooing that someone said they are 'not real'

and another million with people whining that 'no one here is real', ect, ect, ect.

I'm just wondering, when you get a letter from someone telling you that 'all they meet are fakes, I'm so glad you're real, you're just what I'm looking for',

am I the only one who is hugely turned off by this? I usually write back and tell them we are probably not a match.

cause usually 'not real' is just a derogatory term for 'not a match for me', and I don't think i would be a good match for someone who is judgemental like that.

And, 'everyone is a bunch of fakes' seems to me to indicate someone who does not get along well socially in the lifestyle, and probably not other places, either, and i even list my love of this lifestyle, for it's social connections, events, friendships, whathaveyou, right on my profile as one of the important factors to me. So, if you feel like everyone in the lifestyle is 'fake', we're probably not going to get on that well.

Does anyone else find it an instant turn off, to, well, basicly be called 'real'?

At the risk of further alienating myself from the "real" people on this board after vocalizing some of my own frustrations with some of the people I've met online...I will say I totally understand where you're coming from. I have also thought about this statement and here is my take--

When a man initiates contact with ME and then wants me to prove my identity because he says "there are a lot of phonies and scammers on this website" what I hear him say is "I have been bamboozled by the scammers on this website and I am going to take my former foolishness out on YOU!"

When a man asks if I am "for real" or insists on his profile that only those who are "for real" reply, it tells me that he has probably chased away a fair share of potential matches and wants to blame it on someone else.

When I see people complain about the number of "fakes" out there, I wonder if they realize that a great deal of the people on any kind of website, especially one of this nature, are only in it for the fantasy and never have any intention of making a real-time connection OR that a lot of people feel that meeting up with someone they met off the internet is dangerous, which it can be, not only because it can result in having to have your remains identified by your dental records but even worse--your husband or wife may find out you've been meeting people off the internet...so they just chicken-out.

On any level, I agree with you that it would be so much better if we lived in a world where we could just filter out these people who clearly are not what we want so that we could more quickly get to the ones who are.

(Virtual high-five!!)

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 17

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 10:58:22 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

gee all i want is obedience, but then i'm easily pleased

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to sincityprincess)

Post #: 18

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 11:46:44 PM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

i tend to believe that you receive the same energy that you put out into the world. Call it a karma thing.

So if you're constantly believing that all you get is emails from fakes, chances are that's what you'll receive. And you'll never receive what you'd really like to have, or what is best for you.

Conversely, if you put out there the positive energy, and believe that you will receive what you are looking for, or at the least, contact from positive and real people, you will. And those are the people that connect with me, and that i connect with as well.

Yeah, it's all "The Secret" or whatever, but it works for me, and it really is true.

julie

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 19

RE: Not real - 1/3/2010 11:49:10 PM

Hawkwindblues

Posts: 183
Joined: 6/26/2009
From: Berlin, Germany
Status: offline

Since a very long time or since ever i have an aversion against bitter human beings.
It is like meeting somebody from the neighbourhood on the street and they are complaining about the weather, me, i love the winter and i do tell it the "snow and ice are sooo bad" neighbours.

An email/message like that would be deleted by me.

_____________________________

After 10 years with the handle ZenDragoness it is time for a change.

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 20

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