RE: Not real (Full Version)

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AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Not real (1/3/2010 11:57:01 PM)

How to Respond to this.

I'm a guy and so when I read a profile where the person specifically asks for a well thought our reply and I take the time to make that reply and in the end I make sure to state that even if we aren't a match to please have the common kindness to simply send a reply that says "Hey you just aren't for me."

Instead I see that my mail has been read and I smile then I wait. After a day or so I realize that they aren't going to reply so I just don't know what to do. Let it go? Sure that is the obvious answer but what sucks is that you go back and re-read their profile or it shows up when I log in and I see again that everything that they said seems like such a nice fit and I get nothing in responce.

Personally I think the internet gives you this self decided right to ignore people. I send a reply to everyone even if it's "I'm just not the right guy for you" or "As a couple looking for a partner you don't meet both of our needs" I make an effort to simply let them know I saw them and that there wasn't a connection.

On the other hand I also know that women get 400% to 800% more e-mails on this site then males really ever will. Because of this I really don't know how difficult it would be to do to them what I do for mine.

What I get most upset about is the idea that because this is a website and no one is required to send an e-mail that it is somehow okay to just blow people off. Being Polite even if its sending a replay that says "Thanks but no thanks" and then blocking the individual so you don't have to deal with them again is still better than nothing at all but that is my personal opinion.

Having had a couple profile before we used to get creep e-mails but after I had been here for awhile they went away. When my wife had a profile here she got all sorts of nasty dirty e-mails and she had a simple reply "Ewwww" Then she would block and ignore their profile.

On this one I can see both sides of the story I still think it's just good show to send a reply.

QSM



tsatske -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 12:08:33 AM)

I personally reply to ALL first emails, and to all emails till i finally have to block someone, which is rare. I know not everyone replies to all, but some do. I am also very honest and direct, i say, 'we are not a match if you think everyone is a fake', or 'we are not a match because x,y, and z'. many people are pretty offended by that and tell me i am not a real sub. so it's good for a laugh, anyway



Hawkwindblues -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 12:11:47 AM)

If you reply to every first email. why not let the writer know, what you did not liked about the email and implied attitude. Maybe you do not want to make the effort, which i would understand, because my experience is, if somebody is at the "all are xx" point, it is near the point of no return. Bitterness is something very strong.



WyldHrt -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 12:28:38 AM)

quote:

What I get most upset about is the idea that because this is a website and no one is required to send an e-mail that it is somehow okay to just blow people off. Being Polite even if its sending a replay that says "Thanks but no thanks" and then blocking the individual so you don't have to deal with them again is still better than nothing at all but that is my personal opinion.

My problem with this, QSM, is something you and your girl may not have yet experienced. Doing as you suggest sometimes sets people off. You have probably never had someone make a new profile (or 5 or 6) just to tell you what a rude, dirty, disgusting cunt you are for saying "No thanks" and blocking.

When I first joined CM, I answered nearly every mail I received. That is no longer the case, and I don't apologize for it. 



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 12:49:30 AM)

There are fake, "not real" (i.e., not real D-type or s-type) profiles/people here.  Not sure I understand what the big deal is if someone states they've encountered this in an email?  They're stating a fact, after all... why not just take it as a compliment that they found you/your profile genuine?!!

As a general comment, I really wonder about the obstacles people seem to place in front of themselves, then later complain about not being able to find someone.  Puzzling.





lally2 -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 12:50:19 AM)



i have to admit i havent given it much thought. i do get those emails. i often get asked if ive met anyone from here and when i say yes they seem impressed. i dont know what thats about really either. i mean isnt that the point of these places, ultimately.

if i think about it i think that maybe its all about people actually living it for 'real' - by meeting people and genuinely being proactive about finding someone. from that im guessing there are people who live the fantasy on here but for what ever reason cant make it 'real' in terms of meeting up and finding someone.




WyldHrt -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 1:47:50 AM)

quote:

Not only that, but many of your fellows have an obnoxious habit of trying to beg or bargain a yes out of a no, which has the wonderful (<-  THAT'S SARCASM) side effect of training women on sites like these to only respond if its a yes, and to stay quiet if its a no.

Thanks dudes!  Fucking it up for everybody else.

Umm... did Hell freeze over and I didn't get the memo? Psychonaut and I agree on something! [:D]



mrdpettigrew -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 1:48:18 AM)

that is a shame for i did not know those who are not real can write if like myself even badley

but on the otehr note there are many here who are less then tolerant of otehrs for sure and many who live in moms basement at 40 with only a wet dream. this goes with out saying as well as the large varity of forigne scammers .

there are many here with morethen 3 ids of assorted genders andf let us not forget the ever popular comments to female slaves from males please dom me or the we all got them m dick pick that only shows a photo proof of not unlike the dick they do not see clearley have no brain and can not often stand with out help

but after it is all said and done there are here like all otehr places weather cyber or reality fakes and in that sadley we are our worst enamys in that we hurt each otehr

oh yeah i do know the spelling sucks and waht spell checker is no need to remind me



mrdpettigrew -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 1:49:58 AM)

one off comment comment one liners why is hi a way to get ones attention in the real world and one line here is not



LadyChallene -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 1:57:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mrdpettigrew

... and many who live in moms basement at 40 with only a wet dream.



My eyes ... My eyes! What a visual that was. It damn sure makes me glad I don't have a basement, rent out space or have children living with me anymore.


Lady Challene



mrdpettigrew -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 2:00:09 AM)

sorry about the visual it is from a commic here were there are two overweight guys talking to each otehr on line text only and each believe the yare a thing the yare not



LadyChallene -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 2:11:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mrdpettigrew

sorry about the visual, it is from a commic here, were there are two overweight guys talking to each other online, text only and each believe they are a thing they are not.



It's all gravy. I understood the intended imagery, unfortunately.

I had that picture of two total liars painting themselves as svelte models of opposite genders stating the other is the one of their dreams ... all the while they are the furtherest from how they are portraying themselves to one and all. The visual ended with each 'getting off' as quietly as possible, while their respective Mothers call down the steps asking if they want a snack. :: full body shudder :: Sorry for sharing that visual.


Regards,

Lady Challene



LadyPact -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 6:06:25 AM)

I have to agree with you, OP.  I actually kind of chuckled a bit about how spot on you are about the topic.

This is one of the worst angles to use if contacting Me with an introduction email, unless someone is attempting the fastest way to show Me just how incompatible they can possibly be.  It's so contradictory to My personal experience that I almost see it as a joke.  I know the originators of such comments are venting their frustration.  What they don't see is that they are making a very clear case to go back to the real issue of their discontent.  There's one common denominator and it's the person who wrote the email.

Are there fake profiles around here?  Sure.  I report the crap that hits My mail box from Ghana like everyone else.  At the same time, I've met far more people face to face than I've ever had to hit the report profile button.  If someone has never met a 'real' person from the site, it kind of makes Me wonder what is wrong with them.  They are either lacking social skills, the commitment to really wanting this enough to putting the effort into meeting people, or some other issue that is preventing their own success.  This site really isn't anything other than a tool.  If someone can't use that tool effectively, for whatever reason, they aren't going to be a match for Me by a long shot.



cpK69 -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 6:30:42 AM)

~fr~

quote:

Does anyone else find it an instant turn off, to, well, basicly be called 'real'?



Personally, I do not, but then; I use the term to indicate accuracy in matching ones words/actions, with their stated goal/intentions.

However, a message I received not too long ago, stating that the person liked my profile and name, as he found them interesting, instead of just going through the motions…. Well, it rubbed me in a not so pleasant way; mainly, because I had just deleted every thought indicating any substantial inelegance, from both my profile and journal, leaving only the word “Owned”.

When I mentioned the above, and asked what they were referring to, their response was “5’5 110”… talk about going through the motions.

Kim



stella41b -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 8:50:22 AM)

I think I have this problem sorted. It was some months back when a domme got in touch and on discovering after three messages that I'm a transgendered female (she didn't read the profile of course) she wrote to say 'apologies but I would rather have contact with a real, genuine person.' I decided to give up and unless I know someone from the boards or from the community in London I'm just not interested in anyone for any reason.

The 'real/fake' thing is only the tip of the iceberg, but it's just as frightening as anything else. For some time now you can have a microchip surgically implanted into the ear of your cat or dog, and it would appear that there seems to be a market for microchipping humans from people who are too bone idle to get off their butts and get to know people. Am I the only one to be surprised that in making contact with someone on the other side I haven't yet been asked a series of security questions?

This is not to mention all those who have got the relationship worked out even what the other person should be like who haven't met anyone. Then there's the people who have real communication difficulties. There's two male doms on the other side who regularly write to me and also to Prinsexx. One writes incomplete cryptic phrases and sentences such as 'the cows are upset tonight'. Another keeps writing I'm going to get inside your mind. I think Prin has them both blocked now, the one trying to get inside our minds has been trying over a dozen times over the past year and a half. The thing is, poor dude couldn't get inside an aircraft hangar even if you took all the doors off.

You get messages from people who claim on their profiles 'I am professional' and you hope that they're lying. The concept that some of these people have jobs, families, .. it's worrying to say the least.



NuevaVida -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 3:56:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Negativity is a turn off


This.



BlueEyedSubinDE -> RE: Not real (1/4/2010 5:15:25 PM)

If I get an email from someone who complains that no one is real, there is about a 99.999999% chance I am going to ignore that person. This is because of my past experiences. Honestly, I find the wah no one is real here types to be very passive aggressive - and very pushy. After 1 or 2 short emails, they start with the demands... and it's always starts with them saying something along the lines of I need you to prove you aren't fake.... It's borderline back in high school "Do you love me?" "Prove it"

Then as soon you say no to one of their demands.... "oh I knew it was too good to be true, you're a fake too".



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