breaking the news to your vanilla family

breaking the news to your vanilla family (Full Version)

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piercedboy -> breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 12:53:29 PM)
Has any one gone through this? i have been struggling with this for sometime now . How did you go about telling your family that you are a submissive /slave? i have been whareing cuffs for awhile now but need this to go farther!

Mercnbeth -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 1:01:53 PM)
quote: How did you go about telling your family that you are a submissive /slave? didn't have to. it isn't just a sexual thing for this slave and since they have known this slave all of their lives...they know what sort of nature/personality she has. besides, since Mom went out of her way to instill/perpetuate this slave's submission beyond childhood, she doesn't need to be told that her militaristic efforts were successful...it's blatantly obvious.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 1:34:17 PM)
Never really understood the need/desire of some who want to share this aspect of their lives with family/friends. Personally, I don't want to know about their private/intimate lives, and so... there is no need to share info about our private/intimate/intimate life.

mnottertail -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 1:36:55 PM)
my mom knew I had a dick when she diapered me, I assumed that she assumed I would use it in ways pleasurable to me, and we didn't go hashing that out, all those ins and outs, she wasn't stupid, and surmised some shit...but........nobody is gonna get the blowjob by blowjob account of it, unless they are firmly attached to my genitalia via their obicularis oris. Ron

WestBaySlave -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 1:44:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: piercedboy Has any one gone through this? i have been struggling with this for sometime now . Perhaps a question worth asking about all of this is: why do they need to know? Is keeping it hidden interfering with your lifestyle, or is it just that you want to be open about your lifestyle with your family? quote: ORIGINAL: piercedboy How did you go about telling your family that you are a submissive /slave? i have been whareing cuffs for awhile now but need this to go farther! I wish I could help, but my family is very atypical in a number of ways. Firstly, it consists of just me and my mother, and secondly, she is an unusually open minded woman. She was fine with me being gay; she was fine with me being sub. Both times I just spoke with her about it.

wisdomtogive -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 1:45:04 PM)
I never had the need or want to tell my family about anything that they could not understand. I do not have the need or want for my daughter to tell me about her lifestyle, whatever it may be. i prefer to let people be, and they know that i am different.

EbonyWood -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 1:50:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail my mom knew I had a dick when she diapered me, Was this recent, Ron? I never knew. Baby Huey.

HimNbabygirl -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 2:08:37 PM)
this is something i have no need to share with my family. my husband knows of course. my mother would use it as ammo and i personally see no need to provide her with cannon fodder to use against me. i am pretty sure my daddy knows, the fist time he met my husband my daddy looked him up and down and said, and i quote, "Well it's about damn time she found someone who could turn her over their knee and spank her when she needs it" but then again if you are in the lifestyle, it doesn't take long in my company to figure out exactly what roll i play lol. and then of course my Master knows. but as for the rest of my family, they have no need to know what goes on behind closed doors. it's, quite frankly, none of their bloody business!!!! His baby girl member of th Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's 10 fluffy points

AquaticSub -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 2:24:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: piercedboy Has any one gone through this? i have been struggling with this for sometime now . How did you go about telling your family that you are a submissive /slave? i have been whareing cuffs for awhile now but need this to go farther! We didn't exactly tell them. With his family, it just came out through hints and conversation and we had a discussion regarding it. With my family, my Mom opened a box I'd marked private while I was living at home during the summer while attending college. We don't discuss it beyond that I like to have a traditional relationship where the man is in charge. I'm a bit curious... how do you think telling your family will take your submission farther?

littlewonder -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 3:30:15 PM)
I didn't. Why would I? They simply see me as being in a traditional relationship just like how I grew up...man as head of household, obedient girlfriend. Anything else is just kink and well....I don't have any reason to go shouting from the rooftops "I love kinky sex!".

DesFIP -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 4:51:35 PM)
Do you really want your mother to tell you when was the last time she gave your father a blow job? Because she has just as little interest in the details of your sex life as long as you are valuing yourself and using protection. If you are not in a relationship, this is all hypothetical. If you are, then allow them to see you happy in your relationship, being treated with love and respect. If however, like most people who decide to throw this in their parents face, you are doing it because of unresolved issues, then be an adult and deal with those issues properly.

UniqueRaven -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 4:56:50 PM)
Well, my mother found out when i accidentally sent a text message to her that i intended to go to my Owner at the time. Thankfully it wasn't too racy. i just told her that this is what i enjoy in a relationship, a traditional relationship with a man who i enjoy serving, because of who he is and what he does. Vague enough. i don't think i would have said anything if she hadn't received the text. i can't think of a reason why she would really need to know. i would never tell her what i do in the bedroom with anyone, whether that was in my vanilla marriage or now. Honestly i don't tell anyone that stuff. That's private between me and my Owner/Master - and it's not my place to share his business.

ThundersCry -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 8:29:45 PM)
Is it really their biz?????

ceebee -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 8:30:04 PM)
We have mutually agreed that telling our vanilla spouses is not in anybodys best interest. Doesn't D/s stand for deception and sneakiness? [:D]

kneelingrebel17 -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 8:40:09 PM)
I generally try to be open and honest with people who are in my life. Situations do arise where if I were "out" to most of the people there it would be far less akward. Like, last summer, we were all sitting around a living room, half watching a movie while others were bringing in bbq food from the porch, and they were one seat short so I sat on the floor by my Dom's feel because I liked it there it just seemed natural to us. Well, one of his friends started complaining about how it shouldn't be the girl who sits on the floor to eat etc etc, you see where this is going. If we had been open about it, no one would think it's weird if I sit on the floor by his feet or when he tells me to get him another beer rather than asks me kindly if I would do that for him. It's when you have act strangely around your partner to avoid making other people feel strange that draws the line. My mom knows my preferences and why for the most part. It's nice not having to hide part of my life from a very open family.

CalifChick -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 8:42:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: piercedboy Has any one gone through this? i have been struggling with this for sometime now . How did you go about telling your family that you are a submissive /slave? i have been whareing cuffs for awhile now but need this to go farther! I could be mistaken, but I sincerely doubt you can come up with a logical reason to back up your perceived "need". Perhaps instead, you should consider telling a therapist, and make an attempt at discovering why you want to discuss this with your family. Cali

WestBaySlave -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 9:30:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Do you really want your mother to tell you when was the last time she gave your father a blow job? Because she has just as little interest in the details of your sex life as long as you are valuing yourself and using protection. If you are not in a relationship, this is all hypothetical. If you are, then allow them to see you happy in your relationship, being treated with love and respect. You might be surprised to find that many parents would rather know their child had received alarming bruises from consensual play than hear "Oh, that's nothing. Don't worry, we're very happy together." Personally, my coming out to my mother had nothing to do with sharing the details of "kinky sex", but was meant to help her understand that I wasn't in an abusive relationship, and that rather than being a pushover I liked my then-boyfriend giving orders and setting the rules for our relationship.

piercedboy -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 9:45:17 PM)
Thank You all for your kind and thoughtful responces! i get from the majority of the answers, that telling would just open a can of wormes. i'm not a fisherman so i don't need that! Since they have not asked about my real life i will let the vanilla life just go on as it has. If any of my vanilla family ask, i wont lie i'll just sit them down and explain that this is who i am and it makes me happy!

Wolf2Bear -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 9:59:52 PM)
As you being an adult.....what you do in your private life is no one's business but yours- not even parents.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family (1/4/2010 10:37:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: piercedboy Has any one gone through this? i have been struggling with this for sometime now . How did you go about telling your family that you are a submissive /slave? i have been whareing cuffs for awhile now but need this to go farther! Why do you need to tell them at all? Is your sex life really any of their business? As for me, I feel my mine is no more their business than their's is mine. Believe me, it's just NOT. Do you have any idea of the can of worms that you might open up? Not everyone is so open-minded and accepting as we wish they'd be.

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