Where did your kink come from?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Where did your kink come from?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Where did your kink come from?

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Where did your kink come from? - 9/5/2004 6:42:08 PM

asecreter

Posts: 28
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

I've been reading through some of the disagreements here, and they've got me thinking. I'd consider myself fairly open minded; I've been reading about what other people are into and asking myself what they know that I don't.

I've also been wondering how clearly folks here identify what made them the way that they are, however.

In my case, it was when I was six or maybe seven, and having the girl next door complain about having been spanked. I don't know why that did what it did, but I recall obsessing over that particular thought for a long time afterward. For a long time, I'd thought it had been a particular incident involving an aunt rubbing her nails along the edge of my spine that was my first real memory of feeling aroused. If you've ever given the subject any thought, you probably know that there's documented evidence of infants having errections while in the womb (one might assume that female infants have similar experiences, but obviously they'd be harder to detect with ultrasound).

I'm curious to ask if other folks are aware of the point where they became as they are, however, and to see if their experiences would cast any light on my own.

Post #: 1

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 9/5/2004 7:24:19 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

asecreter,

You might want to look at 3 threads that ran in July and August of this year.

What Brought You into Bdsm

First thought of BDSM?

Did your desires?

Happy reading.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to asecreter)

Post #: 2

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 9/5/2004 7:35:13 PM

asecreter

Posts: 28
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

Lady:

I found the first thread by accident and am working through the other two as I write this.

I try SO hard not to ask people to reinvent the wheel and then I post this. STILL. It's interesting to note the ratio of people who recognize where this originated in their own childhoods and people that recognized it later in life through direct exposure in some form.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 3

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 9/5/2004 10:10:12 PM

ScorpioMaster

Posts: 146
Joined: 3/30/2004
Status: offline

I got interested in bondage at the ripe old age of 5 years old when me and my older cousin but a year had tied up our aunt who was baby sitting us. I remember using the cotton clothes line rope on her and then going searching through our grand father drawers looking for handkerchiefs. I have never stopped tying up and it will always be my first love. I found out this life style after my first divorce.

(in reply to asecreter)

Post #: 4

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 9/5/2004 11:04:32 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

you've ever given the subject any thought, you probably know that there's documented evidence of infants having errections while in the womb (one might assume that female infants have similar experiences, but obviously they'd be harder to detect with ultrasound).

I'm sure they happen, but I doubt that they are from any sexual thoughts that an unborn is having. I am sure that many men here remember getting raging erections as kids and teenagers in school that always seemed to happen just as class let out. They happened no matter what we were thinking about.

(in reply to asecreter)

Post #: 5

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 9/5/2004 11:27:53 PM

asecreter

Posts: 28
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

Estring:

Interesting observation, but I don't think the stimulus is necessarily coming from a different part of the brain, either. Arousal can be caused by a lot of different things and obviously not all of them are sexual. Then again, I'm just woolgathering.

Be funny if it was actually due to a piss hard-on...

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 6

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 9/6/2004 11:39:28 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: asecreter
I try SO hard not to ask people to reinvent the wheel and then I post this.

We are always being cyclical here. Just enjoy the ride :)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to asecreter)

Post #: 7

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 9/6/2004 12:18:19 PM

ShrewWhisperer

Posts: 63
Joined: 8/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

.

We are always being cyclical here. Just enjoy the ride :)

- LA

It's a bad habit for those of us with sex as a hobby....since sex sorta comes down to one big cycle *g*

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 8

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 9/6/2004 3:17:58 PM

asecreter

Posts: 28
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

It's also true that I'm careful not to post to threads that have been inactive for too long; I see people doing stuff like that and it always makes me think they weren't paying attention...

(in reply to ShrewWhisperer)

Post #: 9

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 10/2/2004 10:01:42 PM

Nvernilla

Posts: 303
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline

I have wondered this one all my life...don't know why I am what I am just that it is a thrill that goes to the core of my being...Mike

(in reply to asecreter)

Post #: 10

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 10/2/2004 10:29:59 PM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

I can't remember a time when bondage and dominance weren't a part of my fantasies. SM came a little later, but even in my earliest memories I can recall drawing pictures of people in chains. I don't think I was mentally equipped to sexualise these thoughts until I was approaching puberty, but I can clearly recall BDSM as a major fantasy from the moment I discovered masturbation... I seem to recall discovering the basic mechanisms of orgasm long before I was physically able to ejaculate, and thinking this was some sort of torture I could inflict on myself (I was also known to paddle myself when I thought no one else was looking, to the point of bleeding in at least one case that I can vividly recall).

Knowing now what I do about my family, I think it's just hardwired into me. My mother was a closet submissive, and now my brother's daughter is showing the same signs. For whatever reason it simply expressed itself more strongly in me than in any of my siblings (which is as likely my particular upbringing as anything to do with my genetics).

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to Nvernilla)

Post #: 11

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 10/3/2004 8:49:17 PM

realophelia

Posts: 168
Status: offline

quote:

I try SO hard not to ask people to reinvent the wheel and then I post this. STILL. It's interesting to note the ratio of people who recognize where this originated in their own childhoods and people that recognized it later in life through direct exposure in some form.

I think it's nice to have a current thread introduced on the topic :) It's also nice to have the old links posted for reference.

I had masochistic fantasies ever since I remember. I also had a funny sort of MS-ish relationship with a neighbor boy when I was very young. BDSM has played a part in most of my relationships since whether it worked well or not.

Whether or not I was genetically wired to be a slave / masochist is a complicated question for me. I guess I could make a case for either nature or nuture. But probably consider it a little of both.

Take care :)
Ophelia

(in reply to asecreter)

Post #: 12

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 10/3/2004 9:21:20 PM

rain

Posts: 319
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline

I don't actually recall a particular time or instance when I realized or found my kink.

I do know that as a teenager, I indulged in fantasies about rape & corporal punishment.

No clue where it came from, I was always embarassed and ashamed that I fantasized about such things, til, at the ripe age of 28, I discovered there were others "like me" out there.

And it's been a hell of a ride so far! <eg>

rain

(edited to fix my gramma, grammar rather!)

< Message edited by rain -- 10/3/2004 9:22:39 PM >

_____________________________

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean

(in reply to asecreter)

Post #: 13

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 10/4/2004 5:41:46 AM

merrymasochist

Posts: 156
Joined: 9/2/2004
Status: offline

i found my masochistic kinks early...
~smiles~
when i discovered what the bath tub faucet could do for me and immediately started exploring just how hot or cold i could stand... the rest is history...

(in reply to rain)

Post #: 14

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 10/4/2004 10:49:58 AM

Nvernilla

Posts: 303
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline

Either they werent paying attention or they are new to the site.................

(in reply to asecreter)

Post #: 15

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 10/21/2004 11:51:37 AM

srahfox

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

Oddly I fumbled into bdsm, my husband and i were having your everyday kind of vanilla sex and I said something and he said it back to me, twice adding the word What? after it. the second time I added Master to it. Then we realized we both had the same intrests. We'd been together for eight years at that point. Then I started thinking about it. I always liked being tied up. Liked the release of it, not having to think about what I was suppose to do. Then I thought harder and thought about all the little fantasies I use to have. Thought about the little bit of erotica I did write and how much of it was submissive. Thought about getting caught when I was 6 'tormenting' myself by putting straight pins in my privates. It was always there I was just not paying attention.
It's hard because I was molested. It's hard to sort what I accually want and what I've been lead to.
Ah... and I am new to this site os I didn't see the other threads before.

(in reply to Nvernilla)

Post #: 16

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 10/21/2004 1:10:37 PM

blushes4u

Posts: 278
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline

This is hard for me to post but thinking about it, i thought i would put my two cents in. I know that as a child I always was the "obey your mother and father* type....I felt that if i didn't do what i should, that i should tell them in order to correct the matter so i didn't do it again. I remember when i was 10 or 11 seeing a few paddles in my brothers room, (obviously he was having his own ideas* but i never asked him about them, just borrowed a few and tested them on my self. It felt wonderful and i felt ashamed, at the time, for enjoying it so much. I had never explored these feelings until recently, and i am 34, when i was in this site a friend had mentioned. Everything everyone was talking about was so exciting and so interesting that i wanted it!! Even though it was what i was looking for, when i asked questions and wanted to learn i didn't get much help lol...so i was "directed" here...hoping i can find out more then i did there...and so far i have discovered some things about myself i never knew.

Sorry this was so long just needed to say what was on my mind.

(in reply to srahfox)

Post #: 17

RE: Where did your kink come from? - 10/22/2004 11:37:11 AM

Thanatosian

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

I feel it must have been part of me since birth - or maybe even conception (but lets skip that particular discussion)

earliest memories of reaction to lifestyle like situations;

when I was about 4 or 5, we had this comic book collection - my favourite was a western type one - cant remember name but plot was pretty much good guy rides into town, only person around is a woman in a set of stocks, back of her dress torn down to the top of her butt, her back all welted and bleeding from the whipping she had been given - I believe it was hinted at that she had been abused sexually as well - hero frees her from stocks, tends her wounds, finds and shoots bad guys who did this to her and were oppressing the town, rides off into sunset with her on saddle in front of him, wrapped in his arms --- what affected me most about this were the drawings of her in the stocks, back all welted

next, we go forward in time to grade school - where the favourite game to play during recess was 'capture the princess' - basically the boys run after the girls, trying to 'capture' them - when you do catch one, you lead her (generally with one of your hands holding her wrists crossed in front of her) back to 'base' (usually the pole for the basketball hoop) where she is 'bound' and must stay until another of the girls can 'free' her by tagging her

those are my 2 earliest memories of 'lifestyle' type things that drew my interest - progressing through the years to all the 'damsel in distress' scenarios in books and movies and on TV - women bound and (sometimes) gagged, helpless at the hands of the nefarious villain - and then stumbling across the bondage/S&M letters in Penthouse during my teen years and instantly sporting a raging boner - to pulling back on my girlfriends hair to position her head while we french kissed - giving her a spanking (over the pants) for some percieved infringement - to finding and tying up and whipping and flogging and nippleclamping willing wenches/play partners

who knows, some head shrinker may be able to tie all this in with the fact that my parents did use corporal punishment ( and allowed the school to do the same)

just my tuppence.

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to asecreter)

Post #: 18

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Where did your kink come from?

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094