Writing a Journal

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joether -> Writing a Journal (1/6/2010 8:50:14 AM)
Since the time I started, Dommes have wanted me to write a journal. To see what I think, and the words I put to paper, I think. The fact that every once in a while, I could talk with such passion on a subject, to be subjected to a gag. But writing a journal always seem an annoyance. While yes, I can write, I'm no writer. While I can put thought to paper, its a 30K to 1 ratio to words. Heck, once, while I was just busy on things, my journal entry for the day was "to die, in the rain". Apparently the Domme did not like Hemmiway. Either that, or it was just four words long, and not even 'enough'. Let this be a lesson to you subs, when your Domme is a writer... Joking aside, writing a journal is not the most enjoyable process. Hell, for one of you that has good english skills, my writing and grammer....sucks. Why would I want to put a Domme through reading my horrible writing style? I might be college educated, but, writing in a journal is when the moment strikes. To put words to paper (or electronic format as with my journal on my profile). Sadly, I don't recieve comments or thoughts on the journal. But, its there. Maybe at some point, someone, while searching, will find it useful in their daily lives. But what IS the reason to write in a journal daily?

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/6/2010 10:01:52 AM)
If you make yourself write every day, rather than just when you think you have something worth writing, then you end up considering all sorts of material you would not usually include in your journal. It forces you to consider the mundane, the normal. Your reflections on your day-to-day life are just as important as your reactions to more striking events, no? Correct me if I'm wrong [:)]

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/6/2010 12:42:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: joether Since the time I started, Dommes have wanted me to write a journal. To see what I think, and the words I put to paper, I think. But what IS the reason to write in a journal daily? You've already answered your question. The point is to see what you think about a given topic. It's also to see how you think, how you connect one thought to the next and how you make a point. Journaling is a valuable tool for a dominant woman because it lets her understand how your mind works. That, in turn, gives her more fuel to create a scene that is mutually enjoyable. Writing is a skill. Like any other skill, it takes practice to get better. You don't have to write like Hemmingway (who is highly overrated, IMO), you just have to put your thoughts on paper or in a word processing document. If it makes you more comfortable, you can request permission to use a tape recorder or video camera instead and just talk. The written word isn't the point, it's the insight into you, as a person, that is desired.

homedespot -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/6/2010 1:09:09 PM)
There is also the issue of obedience for ME. If you can't do a mundane and boring task on a daily basis then a lot of the stuff that I want from you isn't going to happen, because for ME it isn't about latex and whips and rope. jssubc would say that 70% or more of the things I have him do are really pretty boring. Who wants to shovel snow? J.

lovingpet -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/6/2010 1:19:38 PM)
I guess for me, I don't sit around simmering in my submissive juices all day long and have exceptional things to write about that wouldn't be part of the basic "Hi honey! How was your day?" kind of conversation. It isn't that I don't think about my partner and our relationship, etc, but that the way I form significant thoughts usually doesn't happen in the expanse of a 24 hour period and, short of something major which would have to be discussed directly anyway, I can be patient in broaching most subjects. My partner determined for me to sit down and write him a weekly letter instead. When a thought is finally to full fruition and I am ready to discuss it, I can delineate the whole thing for him in that week's letter. It covers the mundane, critical, emotional, and intimate and anything else I didn't think of. It has a specific day and time of day it is due as well. I have come to really value the process and time I spend composing those letters and it has really enriched our relationship. Never has it felt like a burden and I have only a few times (most with prior discussion) been late with them. It is a matter of both obedience and significance to perform this task for him. I am grateful to have a partner that WANTS to know what I think and feel and what's going on in my life. Not everyone does. lovingpet

LadyAngelika -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/6/2010 4:10:34 PM)
joether, There is a blog that I read regularly as it gives me good insights in my professional life. Today, his entry was on the value of journaling: http://tomprofblog.mit.edu/2010/01/05/988-journal-keeping/. Neat coincidence! The author starts off by saying that he isn't so fond of the idea of journaling but finds redeeming values, and when it is done right, one can find rich surprises in writing. There is a passage where he quotes an author author who writes: “It invites surprise. Students often discover things they didn’t know they thought or felt. The deepest insights often come after ten or fifteen minutes when writers initially feel they have run out of things to say. Writers should generate a lot of ideas to allow them to keep only the best ones for the finished draft.” I truly recommend the blog post for those who are interested in or are currently journaling. It isn't too long and full of excellent reflections. - LA

GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/6/2010 4:35:21 PM)
OP: I love journals. & journalling..[:)] I have 25 years of journals here and I am sure they would curl someone's hair if found after I cross over,, I left one in a phone booth once and shudder to think its fate or those who read it.. I have my boys journal to share their feellngs...and gain insight into them and how they tick.. and I use it for meetings..discussion and meditations.. It is a relationship TOOL...and a DISCOVERY method. It is a way to bring to light things that may be hard to discuss.. it is a way to honor inner feelings and each other..it is a way to record and have witness to your journey. I am always sad when I see that ppl feel it is boring or a punishment to write.. Being a retired teacher I found that repeatedly writing was made to be a chore..to be boring and was not used to incite passion...or ideas.. that were personal... I assign a a gratitude journal & daily entries book and a MANUAL of US I encourage art works..cutting from mags yep..word collages...book studies etc..photos...inks..crayons..pencils.. I try to help my boy find a modality strenght that suits him and have long ago let go of the idea of grammer first etc.. That is WHAT HAS STOPPED TOO MANY FROM Writing!!(the worry) I say..GET YOUR WONDERFUL IDEAS DOWN..worry about the rest later. Even the most reluctant have eventually loved their journals as a personal art work /record about THEM SELVES...and OUR journey.. check out [:D] ARTELLA.com Journalling as Spiritual Quest( book) The Creative License//D Gergory The Morning Pages idea if you so desire.. happy journalling... GM

barelynangel -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/6/2010 4:51:43 PM)
I love to write, but i am horrible at random writing -- in otherwords, if you give me a piece of paper and say here write a paragraph about anything, it will suck. However, if you give me a piece of paper and a word or a sentence or a topic type idea, i can write forever. Its why i enjoy discussions like the ones on the boards, its why i love writing stories. But i also hate writing journals unless i can narrow it down to a couple concepts or one concept. A friend of mine once told me its because my brain is analytical and its multitasking all the time and so unless i can grab something and focus on it, its not easy for me to randomly write so to speak. I have no clue how true it is what she said but she hit it right, i hate random writing. But i am an excellant writer when i do write, especially stories and poems. My former Master never had me journal, he rather talk to me because he was able to garner more from many times what i didn't tell him than what i felt he ought to know lol - go figure. He was also very good at pulling from me what i sometimes didn't know was within. I never cared or understood the demand for journaling and it kind of turns me off when a Man wants me to journal so he knows what i am thinking or my feelings etc. Communication is one thing, but using it as a substitution for communication directly, not for me. I know many who enjoy it. But i am more of a direct approach. When i do write i also don't do it every day. I don't brainstorm. If someone needed me to write a journal for him daily, i would probably be very turned off and on many levels i would in fact lose trust in him. IF he gave me a journal and said go write on this topic daily for me or gave me what he wanted written about daily etc or said here, write when you want. He would have tons of "journals" to review lol. I can write every day, but i cannot write randomly every day. I think you have to be a certain type of person to be good at writing in a journal and more so enjoy same. I don't think it has anything to do with liking or disliking writing for we all write, i think its the TYPE of writing that matters. angel

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/6/2010 5:49:55 PM)
Journalling is a way to let someone in... and a way to record your progress and experiences as well as feelings. If writing doesn't suit you, ask for permission to do a pictoral journal. Each day, you will take a picture, or find a picture, (or series of them) that seems to sum up your emotions for the day. You could even do a video journal or a spoken journal. t doesn't have to be text. Master Fire

LadyOddsworth -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/6/2010 5:56:57 PM)
I am enjoying journaling on this site.. For one, it gives prospective subs / future friends an insight into my personality, thoughts, and feeling on any subject I decide to write about... today it was tea. Plus, I enjoy the process from a learning standpoint. I'm learning more about myself on this BDSM journey I have enbarked on. I get regular emails from sweet sub men who read my journal and have something in common with me or just like something I wrote.

lovingpet -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/6/2010 5:57:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam Journalling is a way to let someone in... and a way to record your progress and experiences as well as feelings. This became very valuable for me. In some of the work I do, I went through some pretty traumatic experiences all in the span of a few hours. In all other ways, I withdrew into my own head. I decided to write an additional letter that week just work through the thoughts in my mind. In all honesty it was really just for me. I sent it to him anyway and it really let him appreciate and understand what I had witnessed and how I was processing it. I have done that a few times, but in this case, it was the only way I could even talk about it. Literally, if someone asked me a question about it or brought it up some other way, I would start crying on the spot and just couldn't communicate anything. I still don't discuss much of what happened that day, but he knows and only because of that letter. It is one he appreciates so much having received because I didn't have to even write it, but it brought him an understanding and compassion for me that he treasures. All I had to do was open up and then send a simple email. lovingpet

joether -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/6/2010 8:27:35 PM)
Yes, the part of, 'I want the journal done because it pleases me', and to be obedient, are two factors that would motivate me to write. I would simply worry that after reading my thoughts, my Domme doesn't have to get an appointment with the nice men in white suits. But...they do give a nice jacket with long arms that tie in the back. :) When I have written journals, I feel ackward in that, I would like to know what she wants to know. Its not, so that I can simply write things that please her, but, not give an accurate picture of myself. Its to know, not to throw pages of written material on whether or not a Narn could beat up a Vulcan (points if you didn't have to look up Narn to know what it is). Or investing in foreign commodities will bring a better return on investment then certain stocks over a given time period. But yes, doing something, because she wishs it, is the desire.

ForeverOwned -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/6/2010 10:21:13 PM)
From the start i didn't want to do it, but it turned out to be wonderful for me. It was so hard at first and then i started pretending that i was writing to a friend so the entries became more enjoyable and meaningful. He always bought me beautiful journals so that helped too. When he would work late or i felt lonely i would take the older ones out and read them. It would keep me entertained for hours. i don't write as frequent anymore, but i still go back at least once a week and write something. One thing i never did and that was to write as though i knew he was going to be reading it. i felt that would be cheating.

MsHValentine -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/7/2010 3:01:57 PM)
It's a delightful way to get to know you. I would feel special if someone were to read my thoughts!

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/8/2010 8:41:45 PM)
Actually there is an aspect of journaling that happens to the submissive that has not been explicitly talked about here. That is ... writing on a regular basis ... for the Dominant ... actually deepens the submissive bonds to the Dominant, mentally and emotionally. Writing also opens the submissive further for the Dominants desires. It can turn a resistant submissive to putty … and an eager submissive into a loving obedient slave. It is a powerful technique for expanding a submissive to Your will.

NovelApproach -> RE: Writing a Journal (1/9/2010 5:12:25 AM)
My newer boy, Trouble, is supposed to be keeping a journal for our mutual benefit. (Boy, I KNOW you are reading this. Get on it.) Every time we see each other, he's to write down the the following, as best he can: 1. What he enjoyed or what worked well for him and why. 2. What he didn't like, found painful in a bad way, or found psychologically uncomfortable and why. 3. Anything new he learned. 4. Something he would like to talk more about - something I said that intrigued him, something we did that was new, something he's thought of that he'd like to try. 5. Any other thoughts, both for the session or between the last journal entry and the next time we meet. However, I know Trouble rarely, if ever, completes this assignment (I'm afraid he'd sooner write Narn-on-Klingon or Space Marine-on-Guardsman erotica than his journals), so I've taken up what I call "aftercare calls." Several hours after play, or better yet the next day, after he's had some time to process everything, I call and quiz him on the above and jot down the answers myself in my own journal. I do miss out on a few things because we do this verbally rather than in writing, but even this truncated wrap-up is a valuable tool for me. It lets me know how we're doing, gives me feedback on how to make our playtimes better, and lets me watch his growth as a partner and as a practitioner of WIITWD. I have a handy, growing list of his fetishes and turn-ons, the buttons I can push to make him sweet or stubborn, the things we need to stay the hell away from for both our safety, the limits I can't push too hard yet but will be fun later.

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