Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (Full Version)

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kiale -> Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/21/2006 5:44:14 PM)

Does anyone else run into those messages where it never seems there is a 'good' way to say you are just not interested? You do you best to be polite and straightforward but you're still left scratching your head by the reply?  I'm wondering if I should just delete any message that is a reply when I've already said 'not interested'.

How do others handle these message?  I'm usually able to be amused by the massive assumptions people make or the attitudes but it does get annoying--part of why I'm not thrilled to be 'hunting' again.

Kiale



jennalynn -> RE: Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/21/2006 5:51:46 PM)

As i am not on the 'hunt' they probably do not annoy me as much. 

i answer once, sometimes twice, and if He keeps persisting after being politely told 'no thank-You' than i resort to blocking him.

May sound disrespectful, but it is also disrespectful to keep sending me mail telling me why i should be interested.

Hope it helps and good luck in your hunt

jenna



mnottertail -> RE: Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/21/2006 5:52:11 PM)

I think (idiots notwithstanding of course) there are those that just want to strike up conversation, nothing else....and having made my position clear, I will visit for a while. Some people don't want to leave the last word in negative due to bruised egos, is suppose.....

All in all it is what it is, some you gotta chase away, some are more interesting for chatting time to time that their first couple pms might first appear, some will just slowly taper off and fade away if not encouraged....

It is not something I tend to ruminate on overmuch, personally, I am far to shallow to consider implications of that nature.

Ron  



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/21/2006 5:53:07 PM)

If it's just a random email from a stranger, I personally feel no obligation to answer whatsoever.

If it's someone I've actually gotten to know, or someone offline, I say "I appreciate it, but I'm really not feeling that way, thanks though."

Simple, direct, over.



Lordandmaster -> RE: Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/21/2006 6:00:20 PM)

If you've ALREADY said "not interested," and the person still responds, the way to handle it is to ignore it.  Or perhaps you can try a more strongly worded response.  "Don't contact me again" has worked a few times for me.  Or you might have to block the person.  Or you might even have to get the site administrators involved if the person creates a new screen name just to e-mail you even after you've blocked him.

Just do whatever you have to do.  If someone keeps e-mailing you even after you've made it clear that you're not interested, you don't have much of an obligation to be polite.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiale

Does anyone else run into those messages where it never seems there is a 'good' way to say you are just not interested? You do you best to be polite and straightforward but you're still left scratching your head by the reply?  I'm wondering if I should just delete any message that is a reply when I've already said 'not interested'.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/21/2006 6:06:45 PM)

To the OP...Of course..I am sure there is not one person who has not been e-mailed inappropriately at one time or another.I always respond politely,if e-mailed again I respond once more but with minimal verbiage,and a I wish you well in your continued search.Then and only then if e-mailed again and they say to just be friends of course..if wishing me to try a Master/sub relationship then future correspondence is ignored..Everyone devises their own methods..you just need to devise yours...be well...Tempting



littleone35 -> RE: Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/21/2006 7:10:16 PM)

When i was still searching and i said not interested and they still mailed me i would say i made my position clear i don't think we are a good match but thanks for writing.  if they persist after that i just stop answering them.  If it gets really bad like 4 or 5 mails a day (as has happened) just block them sometimes that is the only way to get them to stop.

Matt's littleone



justjill -> RE: Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/21/2006 8:16:50 PM)

I just went through my search online and unfortunately it is a no win scenario.

If you answer back each person to even politely decline, most will write back calling you a faker and a lot of other bad things or they will write something else to try to reconsider. It is very unfortunate, but I learned it was much easier just to not write back to anyone I was not interested in unless they looked like gentlemen and took the time to send a nice personalized message.

I know this is not what Miss Manners would do, but at the same time, most of the messages were so lame and classless that replying would be more of an effort then they put into it.

I do really feel sorry for the genuine and nice men who wrote. They unfortunately sometimes got caught in the crossfire.




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/21/2006 8:22:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: justjill
I know this is not what Miss Manners would do, but at the same time, most of the messages were so lame and classless that replying would be more of an effort then they put into it.

Actually, she would, and did:
To Some Things, Don't Even Say No



justjill -> RE: Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/21/2006 8:31:45 PM)

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: justjill
I know this is not what Miss Manners would do, but at the same time, most of the messages were so lame and classless that replying would be more of an effort then they put into it.


Actually, she would, and did:
To Some Things, Don't Even Say No
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


quote:

ORIGINAL: justjill
I know this is not what Miss Manners would do, but at the same time, most of the messages were so lame and classless that replying would be more of an effort then they put into it.

Actually, she would, and did:
To Some Things, Don't Even Say No


Cool! Some guilt just was lifted from my body. Thanks Lucky Albratross




Lordandmaster -> RE: Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/21/2006 8:34:27 PM)

That body looked pretty good when it was still laden with guilt.



kiale -> RE: Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/21/2006 11:50:18 PM)

Thank you all for your answers. I feel a little better about my approach now.  If I am being as polite as to reply initially I can just ignore any further replies without guilt now.



shygirldesires -> RE: Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/22/2006 5:17:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jennalynn

As i am not on the 'hunt' they probably do not annoy me as much. 

i answer once, sometimes twice, and if He keeps persisting after being politely told 'no thank-You' than i resort to blocking him.

May sound disrespectful, but it is also disrespectful to keep sending me mail telling me why i should be interested.

Hope it helps and good luck in your hunt

jenna


a dom put me on his favorites list...i read his proifle...politely told him from what i read about him, i am NOT into SM and not intersted.  He still lists me as a favorite.  BUT aleast he took my not interst and the REASON i was not interested and not bothered me again.   maybe a REASON for not being interested would provide YOU with some relief from those who badger you????
 
shycumslutDB



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Never a good way to say 'not interested?' (3/22/2006 5:35:48 AM)

I start out by being clear and polite (assuming their email/inquiry was also polite and appropriate).  "Thanks but no thanks".   I expect that to be the end of it.  Usually there's something glaringly obvious that I've turned them down for that isn't going to be changed by discussing it (i.e., location, marital status, relationship focus).

If they respond asking why, I may tell them.  That may be less polite.  If they want to argue or try to convince me otherwise, it is guaranteed to irritate me, and I will be less than polite if I respond.

In general, I block a lot    lol




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