Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QUESTIONS :D


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QUESTIONS :D Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QUESTI... - 1/8/2010 12:16:01 AM   
clum


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/7/2010
Status: offline
This is my first mail.

I am 32 years old , male. (working as engineer)
living with my fiancee. (She is my everything and I love her)
I was the one who was interested in Ds and tried to intruduce her the lifestyle. She didnt have any experience before and honestly She was a shy person. (and submissive looking however after a long period education :) she found out She has a Domme personality ) Now we are living together and She is my Owner....

here is my questions:

1) Do Any of you have any experiences like we are having right now? A girlfirend who didnt know anything about BDSM and Ds relation and turns out a FEMDOM relation later??
2) I feel sometimes I am topping from the bottom and forcing Her in to this relation (when I am asking She is saying . NO I do like this) but She is not always dominationg me and SHE IS NICE PERSON and shw thinks slaves should learn the dicipline with LOVE and rewards.. (but i am generally a spoiled brad) To be honest , I am using her weaknes sometimes... :( I hate to tell this , but as a human beings I dont LIKE punished.. ( I meant REAL punishments) not lovely spanking or spankings.. Real punishments which I dont like ( leaving me alone , or real caneinig)
3) She is lazy and untidy.. She left her clothings everywhere and She is not asking me to tidy them... So although I am a tidy person , because of not ordering me to tidy the clothings , I feel unhappy because it seems to me so stupid to tidy surroundings because She doesnt care about it like I am caring... (do you have this kind of problems??)
4) I am fantazying to have more humilated by Her , but She came from work so tired and what She only asking me rubbing Her feet and watching movie together.... So I found myself sometimes , (should i lookking for another dommes or other femdom couples for asking , how is their relation going etc. ) because here is not so common and we can not find any couple to speak about DS
5) we look like from outside a vanillia couple (me as a dom , and She is my submissive fiencee) :( it is the outside life.. We are not unhappy about this. becuase at home we can change the mood. But She is not always in that mood and keeping the outside system at home... and sometimes its OK for me because its difficult for me as well when i am coming from the job and I might be tired as well and to give massage for 1 hour everynight is not easy thing...

I have more and more questions
but I want to learn and see if there is any answers here?

regards
clum
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/8/2010 12:56:12 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: clum

1) Do Any of you have any experiences like we are having right now? A girlfirend who didnt know anything about BDSM and Ds relation and turns out a FEMDOM relation later??

No a girlfriend but yes. I introduced my owner to this athough I did it very quickly in the relationship.
quote:


2) I feel sometimes I am topping from the bottom and forcing Her in to this relation (when I am asking She is saying . NO I do like this) but She is not always dominationg me and SHE IS NICE PERSON and shw thinks slaves should learn the dicipline with LOVE and rewards.. (but i am generally a spoiled brad) To be honest , I am using her weaknes sometimes... :( I hate to tell this , but as a human beings I dont LIKE punished.. ( I meant REAL punishments) not lovely spanking or spankings.. Real punishments which I dont like ( leaving me alone , or real caneinig)

It really doesn't matter if she is experienced or not. If you are going to twist the situation and trick her, you can do that with anyone. Just some people will figure it out faster than others. I don't like being punished either but I'd rather be honest with Valyraen.

Have you spoken to her about the nature of the punishments? It's possible that, because she is new, she is doing overkill on them. As for topping from the bottom, does she seem relucant? Barely bring it up? Never attempt to start things?
quote:


3) She is lazy and untidy.. She left her clothings everywhere and She is not asking me to tidy them... So although I am a tidy person , because of not ordering me to tidy the clothings , I feel unhappy because it seems to me so stupid to tidy surroundings because She doesnt care about it like I am caring... (do you have this kind of problems??)

Ok now this seems like topping from the bottom. If she isn't asking you to tidy them, it means she doesn't give a shit enough to order you to do it. If it bothers you, be proactive in your service and offer to tidy for her without being commanded instead of waiting for her to scratch your itch by commanding it.
quote:


4) I am fantazying to have more humilated by Her , but She came from work so tired and what She only asking me rubbing Her feet and watching movie together.... So I found myself sometimes , (should i lookking for another dommes or other femdom couples for asking , how is their relation going etc. ) because here is not so common and we can not find any couple to speak about DS

If your mistress is tired and wants you to rub her feet and enjoy your company while watching a movie... rub the woman's feet and watch the fucking movie. Talk to her about more humilation when she didn't just get home from work. This is a person, not a sex toy you can just on to suit you.
quote:


5) we look like from outside a vanillia couple (me as a dom , and She is my submissive fiencee) :( it is the outside life.. We are not unhappy about this. becuase at home we can change the mood. But She is not always in that mood and keeping the outside system at home... and sometimes its OK for me because its difficult for me as well when i am coming from the job and I might be tired as well and to give massage for 1 hour everynight is not easy thing...

Most of us look like a vanilla couple from the outside. We don't wear brands that mark us as into BDSM. That's extremely normal.
quote:


but I want to learn and see if there is any answers here?


Honestly it does sound like you are topping from the bottom a bit, but not in terms of getting her into the lifestyle. It sounds like you are putting your desire to be order and humilated above what she actually wants and needs from a sub/slave.

It's entirely possible she doesn't want to have to order you all the time. That's how Valyraen and I work. I don't get ordered to clean or do the laundry unless it gets really bad for some reason. When he moved in, I was instructed to keep the house till I got a job. When I choose to do particular chores, as long as things don't get in his way, is entirely up to him cause he doesn't want to deal with it.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/8/2010 12:57:49 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to clum)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/8/2010 7:46:32 AM   
drtygrl


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		as with any relationship... communication is key. If you are not upfront about your desires, peeves and where you would like to see things going you will continue to be unsatisfied and will become increasingly resentful until it ruins your connection with her- vanilla or otherwise

(in reply to clum)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/8/2010 8:19:48 AM   
Dominasola


Posts: 582
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Ottawa, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: clum


SHE IS NICE PERSON and shw thinks slaves should learn the dicipline with LOVE and rewards..



Um...and you would rather she NOT be a nice person?


_____________________________

I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions, but to understand them.

—Baruch Spinoza

The measure of a man is what he does with power.

—Pittacus

(in reply to clum)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/8/2010 8:38:29 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Do Any of you have any experiences like we are having right now? A girlfirend who didnt know anything about BDSM and Ds relation and turns out a FEMDOM relation later??


I don't mean to be snide or anything, but I think it is likely you didn't know a heck of a lot about women when you took up with her...

(in reply to clum)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/8/2010 9:12:39 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

I introduced my Master to the D/s lifestyle when I met him. He was never much into kinky sex, though he found it erotic on occasion, but he liked being in control. But then, I'm submissive by nature more than I want kinky sex anyway so it worked for us.

Most of this is all in our heads anyway. If you tidy her clothing and other things for her, in your head you are submitting to her whether it's something she ordered or not. Hot kinky humiliation scenes just don't happen 24/7. But being submissive to another person's needs, wants, and desires can. Choose to submit to what she wants and allow her to take the lead in your relationship. If you need to make a decision, take the options to her and have her decide for you. Give her opportunities to dominate in your relationship and it won't be long and she'll be the Dominant.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/8/2010 10:55:36 AM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		Clum-

the other comments here are spot on, but my addition would be that you look at this without the filter of a "kinky" lifestyle.

For instance, you do spend a lot of time thinking of your wants- its like the standard complaint from men that when she gets home, she is too tired to have sex ; or women's complaints that he is too lazy to pick up his shorts and lower the toilet seat.

You have a woman who loves you, and who you love in return, and morever, she is embracing and accepting of your desire for kink; stop for a moment and consider how priceless that is, how many others here go for years without finding someone like that, how many men and women go to bed alone night after night, dreaming of having even one day like yours.

There is a notion within religious theology that the Creator made us to mate with the opposite sex, precisely to help us learn to expand and stretch ourselves, to understand and accept others who are different and sometimes mysterious and baffling to us.

I am thinking of that letter I heard once, where a woman spent years in a marriage complaining about how he never picked up his clothes; then when she found herself a widow, cried herself to sleep at night, wishing bitterly that she might walk in and find his clothes littering the floor, just once again.

You have been given a gift- enjoy it.

(in reply to clum)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/8/2010 1:15:38 PM   
clum


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/7/2010
Status: offline 		wow..thats nice to have many answers , first of all I do want to thank you all for your inputs...

I dont know how to answer all of your inputs but I will try my best.
the questions I asked to you were only the beginning.. these questions were asked because I dont have other submissive or slave friends around me whom i can ask.. And believe me we have the best communication ever ( my Mistress and me) So please dont think we can not talk about the problems or Ds.. However , we I can not talk submissive question with Her. because She is not a slave and although She thinks She can understand its difficult.. Like when She is asking something to me about Domination i can not feel it and can not give the right answers (my answers is always bios to submissive side)

- Yes , I shouldn't forgot that I am a lucky person.. I am having Her to share my desires.. But we are huming beings and we are selfish unfortunally. And my imaginations and desires are really big..
- I do love Her and I dont want to lose Her.. However I really want to learn the other subs feeling. (all of us are wanting more always???) are you looking for more as well? I dont want to think that She is not enough for me.. because I dont want to loose Her.. And I feel sometimes slaves or subs are having less chance to FIND their real Owners.. The reason is (at least It was like this for me) submissive person needs big trust to be open to his Partner.. without trust sub can not leave hisself to the Domme.. So we dont have too much choise to try different Dommes.. and I didnt have chance to go to professionals (no pros around me here in my country and when I was young it was less opportunuty.) nowadays people have more chance.. (like here collarme website or internet gives us more information pistures etc) So , I feel sometimes I am stuck with my Mistress and how can the other slaves know they are in their best Ds relations or their Owner is the best etc.. DO they not feel unsatisfied or are they not looking for other different Ds activities?)

- In my yought I was more desperate. I was questioninig myself so much.. Why I am like that Why i like to be humilated ? why why why... But after the time passes I realized I can be submissive and I am not ALONE here in this world.. There are some guys like me and I felt better.. And know I can refer myself as a slave (who is topping from the bottom to his Mistress) The reason is IMO She learnt all the things about this subject from me.. I was the one who tried not to scare Her and intruduced BDSM slowly slowy.. ( and this was one other problem for the submissives - we need to have time for having the TRUST) I bought Her Elise Sutton's books ( i can misspell) (It was very very helpfull) I do like Her thanks to Miss Sutton.. :)

- To sum up, I know myself (at least i think I know)
I need to be humiliated to have errection , I am neatfreek ( everything should be tidy at home ) thats why It is so difficult for me when I found out She is untidy and not giving any shit.. because I am having problem with it... I am lazy , I can not handle too much pain (not a pain slut) , sexually totally submissive (not like dominate and She likes to be dominated in sex) I dont want to use my penis and I dont want to cum so much , because I feel more submissive and slave when I am not cumming and thats why I do like to have CB on. I have CB3000. I like to be dissiplined and to be humilated by Women. No men attrack me.. I like cleaning ass , and played and fucked from my back... I can say that I am sexually totally submissive but personally not hundert percent submissive...I like dirty plays (watersports etc) I do Love Her.

and all above I do know my Mistress as well..
She is totally lazy,although she has dildo etc. she thinks it makes her tired and she doesnt want to use them on me because of that reason... :( She is untidy , She DOES love me , She likes ass worship and licked and cleaned by me. She is shy and likes submissiveness in sex plays. She likes to be touched and likes whipping me (cane) She doesnt like humilation so much but She knows that I need for erection. She likes me to be in Her and using my penis for Her enjoyment. (I dont like this idea too much. She doesnt like housechores especially ironing and cooking. She likes to have massaging...(feet and back rub) and She doesnt like giving punishments.. She likes giving rewards...She is not giving too much important to her outfit. She doesnt look like the internet supermodel DOmme type Mistress... and doesnt like have high heels...likes forcing me to eat my own cum after orgazm... etc etc etc..

Can I hear more from submales please.. Because I think their opinions would be the best answers for me..
regards

clum





< Message edited by clum -- 1/8/2010 1:49:54 PM >

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/8/2010 2:42:15 PM   
alittleevil


Posts: 235
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline 		Hello clum,

Most  of us, submissive or dominant, top or bottom, spend such a long time with so many hidden fantasies and desires that when we finally (!!) get a chance to be open about and experience even a few of them it's like the dam bursts and we feel like we have to have it all right now. Maybe on some level we fear that it is going to be taken away from us before we have all the experiences we so long for.

In our fantasies, WE are in control, since obviously, what is happening is happening in our heads.  Since our fellow participants have their own brains, they are unlikely to behave as though they stepped right out of ours. And this can be disappointing.  Please give it, and her, time.

It is very difficult, as the more experienced, or more driven, submissive partner to feel as though the dominant is not Doing It Right.  It is very easy to top from the bottom and equally easy to feel that that is all you are doing (even when you are not).  But, with time and patience and introspection, there does come a peace in surrender and actual submission. Yes, the ordering about is hot, and simply doing what she wants, how she wants and when she wants, and finding gratification and satisfaction in that, is going to take longer. But you will get there.

In the meantime, here is a link to a thread you might find interesting.  I am not saying that the topic is what you, clum, are doing, but there are a lot of interesting, related thoughts and experiences in this thread from the F/m perspective:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2976113/tm.htm

I wish you well,
aj



_____________________________

Throw me to the wolves because there's order in the pack (RHCP)

(in reply to clum)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/8/2010 3:13:07 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: clum
- Yes , I shouldn't forgot that I am a lucky person.. I am having Her to share my desires.. But we are huming beings and we are selfish unfortunally. And my imaginations and desires are really big..

This comes off as an excuse. No matter how big your imagination and desires, you still need to keep in mind who you are serving - it or her.
quote:


So , I feel sometimes I am stuck with my Mistress and how can the other slaves know they are in their best Ds relations or their Owner is the best etc.. DO they not feel unsatisfied or are they not looking for other different Ds activities?)

That's probably not a sign of a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
quote:


And know I can refer myself as a slave (who is topping from the bottom to his Mistress) The reason is IMO She learnt all the things about this subject from me.. I was the one who tried not to scare Her and intruduced BDSM slowly slowy..

Wait... you think you can from the bottom because you are the one who introduced her? That seems like another excuse to me and you are topping from the bottom because you don't respect her dominance. In fact, I don't see much in your posts that says you respect her at all.
quote:


- To sum up, I know myself (at least i think I know)
I need to be humiliated to have errection , I am neatfreek ( everything should be tidy at home ) thats why It is so difficult for me when I found out She is untidy and not giving any shit.. because I am having problem with it... I am lazy ,

Why haven't you addressed the suggestions already given to you on this topic? If she's a mes and it bothers you, stop being lazy, don't wait for her command, serve her tidy up. Who knows, maybe when she sees you being more pro-active about actually serving her and less topping from the bottom, she'll be more inspired to attend to your fetishs. You do say she governs by rewards after all.
quote:


I can not handle too much pain (not a pain slut) , sexually totally submissive (not like dominate and She likes to be dominated in sex)

Uh... what now? She's your mistress and likes to be dominated in sex? Is she a switch? Is she getting her needs met?
quote:


I dont want to use my penis and I dont want to cum so much , because I feel more submissive and slave when I am not cumming and thats why I do like to have CB on. I have CB3000. I like to be dissiplined and to be humilated by Women. No men attrack me.. I like cleaning ass , and played and fucked from my back... I can say that I am sexually totally submissive but personally not hundert percent submissive...I like dirty plays (watersports etc) I do Love Her.

This is still all about you and what you want. Do you see the problem here?
quote:


and all above I do know my Mistress as well..
She is totally lazy,although she has dildo etc. she thinks it makes her tired and she doesnt want to use them on me because of that reason... :( She is untidy , She DOES love me , She likes ass worship and licked and cleaned by me. She is shy and likes submissiveness in sex plays. She likes to be touched and likes whipping me (cane) She doesnt like humilation so much but She knows that I need for erection. She likes me to be in Her and using my penis for Her enjoyment. (I dont like this idea too much.

Why don't you like it? It's what she likes and what she wants. It sounds to me like you really aren't willing to serve her in the ways she wants and that is probably affecting why she isn't giving you what you.
quote:


She doesnt like housechores especially ironing and cooking. She likes to have massaging...(feet and back rub) and She doesnt like giving punishments.. She likes giving rewards...

She's far from the only dominant who does that.
quote:


She is not giving too much important to her outfit. She doesnt look like the internet supermodel DOmme type Mistress... and doesnt like have high heels...likes forcing me to eat my own cum after orgazm... etc etc etc..

You realize that most mistresses don't do this right? You might want to look at the "Over-Fetization of Mistressse" thread in ask a mistress.
quote:


Can I hear more from submales please.. Because I think their opinions would be the best answers for me..
regards

Because us silly fem subs and dominants just don't know what we are talking about. 

I don't think the answers you get from the awesome submissive men on these boards are going to be much different but I could be wrong. If anything, the ones you get from them might be harsher. 

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to clum)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/8/2010 8:55:21 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: clum

1) Do Any of you have any experiences like we are having right now? A girlfirend who didnt know anything about BDSM and Ds relation and turns out a FEMDOM relation later??
2) I feel sometimes I am topping from the bottom and forcing Her in to this relation (when I am asking She is saying . NO I do like this) but She is not always dominationg me and SHE IS NICE PERSON and shw thinks slaves should learn the dicipline with LOVE and rewards.. (but i am generally a spoiled brad) To be honest , I am using her weaknes sometimes... :( I hate to tell this , but as a human beings I dont LIKE punished.. ( I meant REAL punishments) not lovely spanking or spankings.. Real punishments which I dont like ( leaving me alone , or real caneinig)
3) She is lazy and untidy.. She left her clothings everywhere and She is not asking me to tidy them... So although I am a tidy person , because of not ordering me to tidy the clothings , I feel unhappy because it seems to me so stupid to tidy surroundings because She doesnt care about it like I am caring... (do you have this kind of problems??)
4) I am fantazying to have more humilated by Her , but She came from work so tired and what She only asking me rubbing Her feet and watching movie together.... So I found myself sometimes , (should i lookking for another dommes or other femdom couples for asking , how is their relation going etc. ) because here is not so common and we can not find any couple to speak about DS
5) we look like from outside a vanillia couple (me as a dom , and She is my submissive fiencee) :( it is the outside life.. We are not unhappy about this. becuase at home we can change the mood. But She is not always in that mood and keeping the outside system at home... and sometimes its OK for me because its difficult for me as well when i am coming from the job and I might be tired as well and to give massage for 1 hour everynight is not easy thing...


Personally, I don't think it's important how she discovered she likes to be on top rather than on bottom.  It is interesting that you slipped into the submissive/slave mode apparently so easily.  You obviously had those tendencies all along.

As far as being messy, this has an easy fix.  Since you are the submissive, it is your task to take care of her, not the other way around.  Clean up after her! 

Your need for humiliation is common.  I enjoy being put in my place.  It's often done for maximum effect (carefully) in public.  I'm not saying she's going rip off your clothes and flog you at Starbucks, but she can tell you to shut up, or grab you, or warn you to do this or not that.  You can be respectful and not interrupt her.  She can order you to get the food, etc. for you.  I dated a Domme one time and while we were out for coffee, as we stood up, she told me to keep my arms at my side, while she stroked my face.  Doesn't sound like much, but standing there and not reacting as most folks do was exciting, showing she controlled me.

Wearing a collar etc in public (doesn't need to be obviously D/s) is titillating. 

As far as serving her when you are tired, get used to it.  Again, it is your job as the submissive to take care of her!  Put your tiredness aside and your ego as well, and focus on service.  Good subs/slaves serve even when they'd care not too.  That (IMO) is the mark of the true sub/slave.

(in reply to clum)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/8/2010 11:35:29 PM   
clum


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/7/2010
Status: offline
Maybe I couldnt intruduce myself good enough.. I am not seeing myself as a beginner in Ds relation.. Yes , in the very beginning my expectations and needs were so different but now believe me they changed. My Mistress and I are living together for 4 years.. Before that I had some other experiences as well but those all were not with professionals..

- I couldnt have chance to meet real-life professional Dominas , I didnt have chance to go to the Dungeon or Munches.. So I always looked to the internet and unfortuanlly (As it
mentioned , I saw the manmade porn , who I began to fantazie them ) ( but i didnt have other chance) So thats why maybe it happens that I want to try all the sences which I saw there..

I watched extreme caning and in real life I know how it feels..
Dominas fucking with strapons - in real life, it is not so easy to use them and it is really difficutl and not easy action. and it is not so clean like you are watching.. always shit included and stinks..
bondaged scenes are nice looking but in real life it is sooo uncomfortable!! when you were tied and fucked at the same time...the places which ropes touching can hurt after long term.
after orgasm , in real time it is so normal to loose your appatite to submit. (need time to come back to the subspace and need Dompartners dicipline to bring you in subspace back.
chastatiy devices are so effective but you can not see them in the porns too much , because it is not so much to show. But chastatiy devices are so effective to keep the subs away from being selfishness..

It might seem here that I always want my desires but really I want to give myself to my Mistress and want to be a REAL slave to HER , so that She can use me for Her enjoyment and fun and for anything She wants...

but unfortunally to keep me in these track i feel I need these:

- I have to be under control for my orgasms because when I am relieved I am loosing my submission for a certain moment. ( is it for all men like that?) when I am in CB i feel more happy and more under HEr control because I couldnt touch myself etc.. and as i said before when She is not controling me I am a bad spoiled brad I could find myself playing withmyself behind a porn video :( :(
- Thats why I think I need to be in CB device , BUT She wants me to take it out every night (cleaning reasons and She thinks it needs air , and sometimes She forgets to tell me put it back on..
(do you think that I have to wear that device without asking Her or should I always wear it without telling Her because the device helps our Ds relation in good way)

So as I understand here You are telling me , If my Domme is not dicipline me or giving me orders i.e for about 6 months I shouldnt ask Her anything about Domination , I shouldnt ask Her anything about my needs and desires , because as a real slave I have nothing to ask. And these all are topping from the bottom..?

can not be a Domme forgot Her subs needs? Or sometimes She is so lazy or so busy at that long term , and we , the pathetic sub-slaves , should wait until our Mistresses remembers to play or maybe in the future they are not going to play anytime???? so what will happen to us? No Ds ever???

briefly ;
Here , when I am trying to givemy thoughts of course it seems all about "me and my thoughts" It seems that I am only thinking myself.. Of course it should seem like that because I do try to find out , is there any other subs who are thinking like me (in the same conditions which I have etc.) Are they feeling fulfilled , satisfied with their relations? Are you looking always for more different things (do you want to see your extreme limit? how deep you can go etc.) Or maybeee after a certain time subs feel unfilled (although we are serving , we can not feel like we are serving and needing more Domination??)

If you need more , could you ask it to Your Owner? and how are you asking without topping from bottom???


regards
clum

(in reply to trueshadow)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/9/2010 6:23:53 AM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Yes I introduced a few ladies to this lifestyle.  And I do know what you are going through.  Although your lady has embraced the femdom lifestyle somewhat, she does not seem to be all that enthusiastic.  I know how you feel.  The vanilla is very boring.  If you go about things slowly and incrementally, you might be able to seduce a stronger domme out of her.  Good luck.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to clum)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/9/2010 10:27:00 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: clum

If you need more , could you ask it to Your Owner? and how are you asking without topping from bottom???


Yes I could. I have in the past and I will in the future.

You just go up when it's a good time (not when she's tired or frustrated) and tell her that you need to have a talk about the relationship. Then explain yourself without calling her lazy and tell her what you need and what you think you aren't getting.

Then ask her what she wants from a d/s relationship. Ask her if there is anything she isn't getting that you can do for her. I have found that Valyraen is much more inclined to indulge my interests that he doesn't share when I'm doing extra for him as well.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to clum)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/9/2010 2:35:33 PM   
clum


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/7/2010
Status: offline
curiosity about cuckolding!!!??

as a sub-slave should I wait until my Mistress desires to have cuckold experience?
or can I tell Her about my curiositiy?? (will it counted as a topping from bottom again?)

in general , how can a sub know his limits without asking to his Domme???

shoot me with your answers , please..

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/9/2010 2:40:30 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Uh... Why shouldn't you tell her about your curiousities and your interests? Unless she knows, she might think it's a hard limit for you.

Edited to add: Just be respectful in how you tell her and acceptable that she may or may not have an interest in it.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/9/2010 2:41:07 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to clum)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/9/2010 3:41:43 PM   
alittleevil


Posts: 235
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: clum
curiosity about cuckolding!!!??

as a sub-slave should I wait until my Mistress desires to have cuckold experience?
or can I tell Her about my curiositiy?? (will it counted as a topping from bottom again?)

in general , how can a sub know his limits without asking to his Domme???

shoot me with your answers , please..


Hello,

In my opinion, openly sharing your fantasies about a cuckold experience is not topping from the bottom. Asking, begging and pleading for the experience is not topping from the bottom (unless she tells you to stop and you keep it up, which isn't really topping from the bottom, but disobedience).   Pouting, refusing to 'play' unless your fantasies are only ones being explored, or, in the extreme, bringing a man home for your partner to fuck in front of you without her express wish for you to do so, would be trying to top from the bottom (TFTB).

If you know she would be flattered, bringing home a hot pair of thigh high stiletto boots and begging her to wear them would not necessarily be TFTB.  Nor would presenting her with some other lovely toy. Refusing to play unless she wore them, or used that toy, is.

Cleaning the house (proactively serving) her is not trying to top from the bottom. Merely wishing she would be more proactively dominant in her demands is not topping from the bottom.  Refusing to clean the house unless she actively dominates you into it is topping from the bottom (and passive aggressive, to boot) as is refusing to clean the house unless she does X,Y or Z for you.

Disregard all of the above the minute she tells you that what you are doing is displeasing, or you are again trying to top from the bottom. :-)

Peace,
aj


_____________________________

Throw me to the wolves because there's order in the pack (RHCP)

(in reply to clum)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/10/2010 12:03:07 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		compatability and expectations....................   they DO NOT  seem to line up.  JMHO

(in reply to clum)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QU... - 1/10/2010 3:14:02 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Hmmm clum, it seems to me that you are between a rock and a hard place - you have a woman who would rather be dominant than submissive - when it pleases her, and it doesn't please her enough for you. You don't want to top from the bottom, but if you don't raise the subject, you won't get what you want - and it isn't a bad thing to talk about concerns.

Love is nice, but compatibility is even better, and the compatibility levels between you two don't seem to be meshing.

Can the two of you go on vacation to a country that is a bit more liberal about bdsm, or at least where more people practise ? If your woman saw others doing the things you want, you might get a bit more of it. Public clubs would seem to be the way to go. Maybe your woman could come on cm and get ideas or suggestions.

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 19
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> greating to all submisive slave friends..here my QUESTIONS :D Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109