meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

smplyme101 -> meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 11:12:04 AM)

this is more of a rant than anything....

So someone comes into my life i learn to trust with everyting i have in me. He tells me over and over how he adores me and wants me....what kinda idiot am i??? All of a sudden i'm too needy and told to back off as his life is gettin in the way...so what do i do, i back off and give him his space. I send an update here and there just so he knows i still think enough of him to tell him how i am. My life is kinda wonky as i am not at my home, i am in another province looking after an ailing mom. He knows this. He knows we just about lose her at christmas, he knows how upset and stressed i am. Mom get better and comes hom, i stay on to make sure things are ok when i decide to head home and thank my "bes" friend for taking care of my place.....hmmmm...come home to find that i have been ripped off BIG time, and find myself having to be asked to leave my place. SO...keeping with a promise, i message him, tell him ill miss him and that things ar not good, but that if i cant get online to him, to know ill always think about him. I ask for NOTHING!!! (have posts to prove that!) all of a sudden , this Mentor/Master?friend replies with oh great i always get involved iwth women who got drams going on, my luck, and that he wishes ME all the best with whatever SCAM i got going on!!!!!!!!! How is that??? Did i deserve that? I asked him for nothing, i asked him not to worry....please someone tell me how iscammed HIM???? my god he can call my phone i was never allowed that kind of information from him!!!!!



CalifChick -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 11:14:46 AM)

I can't find where "mentor" comes into this anywhere.  If he "adores you and wants you"... what does that have to do with the title?


Cali



smplyme101 -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 11:53:00 AM)

Honest Cali you tell me...You tell me how someone who claims that You are what they want and the fist time You have a problem they bolt and accuse you of stuff, where does "mentor" enter into that??? yep, makes me feel adored alrighty lol...friggin fakes



GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 11:58:27 AM)

simplyme..
you have been hurt...you have grief..you need to take time to process..
This sounds like a selfish man and that there was not a solid communication..
right now you are angry...and you have a right to be..
you are trying to figure it all out..
you feel betrayed..
 
many understand...many dont care..some do..
 
I offer...understanding and a wish for you to take time to process and NOT TO TAKE IT PERSONALLY.
SOmethign was wrong here.
It did nto have to do with you or only 50% did..
why did he do it,,>??
I do not know how long you haev been on here but you will need a thick skin..THEY ARE MANY that have no intention of going further..many who string you along..many who have disposable girlz and boyz
 
take some time to breathe..
 
I hope you have a place to stay now..

GM



windchymes -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 12:01:12 PM)

I'm not sure what kind of answer you're looking for, but if' you're going to be on the internet, you'd better toughen up and just accept that people lie, there are "fakes", and just because someone says they love and adore you doesn't guarantee you a happy ending. 

Sorry, that's the reality of life on the internet. 

Oh, and another thing....people are no more honorable or dependable in BDSM world than they are in any other world.  There are probably way more "fakes" in here and on the other sites that you can even imagine.  People calling themselves "Doms" and "Protectors" and "Mentors" many many times say that, and even sometimes believe it to fulfill a temporary fantasy....and then, yes, real life calls them or they grow tired of the game and you, and they don't know how to get out of it.  Some of them do as yours did, others just disappear, and a few actually have the grace to tell you in a nice way that they don't want to do it anymore.

So, pick yourself up, wipe your nose, and rethink what you want out of life.  It's not easy in here, and it happens a LOT.



LaTigresse -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 12:07:13 PM)

I have a seriously strong distrust of ANYone that says they want to be a mentor to someone that fits the description of what they want in an S.O. I think it is a very underhanded way of getting close to someone.

"Ohhhhh, hot chick that I just KNOW won't give me the time of day if I approach her honestly, but if I offer the olive branch of mentorship, maybe I can sneak in the figurative back door.."

Then, when it doesn't go as planned (as apparently this didn't) they turn on the person they were supposedly teaching and protecting.

My personal opinion is that if a submissive woman wants a good mentor, she would do best to find a more experienced female submissive that is in a sucessful, long term D/s or M/s relationship. One that isn't looking for a new 'sister' slave, or any of that nonsense. Just someone that knows what the hell she is going through and there to help her.



osf -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 12:08:20 PM)

i'm mental does that count?



sirsholly -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 12:09:35 PM)

quote:

i am not at my home, i am in another province looking after an ailing mom.
i think this has a lot to do with how you are feeling right now.

To say the least...you have no stability right now, not even the security of a home. I wish you the best with you mom (i have been there too, leaving home to care for an ailing parent) but Sweetie...you are paying a price for being a good daughter.



smplyme101 -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 12:18:55 PM)

To clarify: (this is quote from HIS profile)

UPDATE: I've recently taken the lovely and enticing smplyme under my Consideration At this point she is under my training and I consider her mine. She is free to speak to whomever she chooses, she is free to offer her friendship, but her mind and body are mine, she is not to be approached by doms in any context other than those stated above. I ask that people respect this, any inquires should come to me and simplyme will be informing me of any such inquiries made to her




so my understanding is that i gave him my total trust.....yeah ok!, so no he led me to believe that i really meant something, and it wasnt a game, so think skin i have, a broken heart is replacing beliefe thats all...i just dont get how people can treat others in such a fashion.



LaTigresse -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 12:24:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: smplyme101

To clarify: (this is quote from HIS profile)

UPDATE: I've recently taken the lovely and enticing smplyme under my Consideration At this point she is under my training and I consider her mine. She is free to speak to whomever she chooses, she is free to offer her friendship, but her mind and body are mine, she is not to be approached by doms in any context other than those stated above. I ask that people respect this, any inquires should come to me and simplyme will be informing me of any such inquiries made to her




so my understanding is that i gave him my total trust.....yeah ok!, so no he led me to believe that i really meant something, and it wasnt a game, so think skin i have, a broken heart is replacing beliefe thats all...i just dont get how people can treat others in such a fashion.


Because there are predators and there are prey. You allowed yourself to be his prey. You learn from it and move on.



osf -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 12:53:11 PM)

here's a great thread on mentoring

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2969479/mpage_1/key_mediocre%252Cdom/tm.htm#2969479



peppermint -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 1:09:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: smplyme101

To clarify: (this is quote from HIS profile)

UPDATE: I've recently taken the lovely and enticing smplyme under my Consideration At this point she is under my training and I consider her mine. She is free to speak to whomever she chooses, she is free to offer her friendship, but her mind and body are mine, she is not to be approached by doms in any context other than those stated above. I ask that people respect this, any inquires should come to me and simplyme will be informing me of any such inquiries made to her




so my understanding is that i gave him my total trust.....yeah ok!, so no he led me to believe that i really meant something, and it wasnt a game, so think skin i have, a broken heart is replacing beliefe thats all...i just dont get how people can treat others in such a fashion.


Actions speak louder than words.  Words come very easily when people are on the internet.  For many people the internet is a playing field.  It is a place where they can pretend to be anything their imaginations can picture.  This includes being a Dominant or a submissive, or a slave.  Men become women.  Women become men.  A 60 year old person instantly turns into the 22 year old college student.  Yes, I know that an internet relationship can hurt when it's over.  However, you will get over it.  You will be more careful next time. 

Glad your mom is getting better. 



antipode -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 1:21:24 PM)

quote:

i was never allowed that kind of information from him


You trust someone who won't give you his phone number? You ever meet this guy? You got ripped off by your friend at home as well as this guy? "She is not to be approached by doms in any context" - you got yourself a cyberfreak, for whatever reason... You think I read this stuff and now I know not to talk to you? He's my sergeant major or sumtin'?

You have to straighten yourself out - he is right in one respect - you've got drams going on. And drams are things you make yourself.



Prinsexx -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 1:32:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: smplyme101

Honest Cali you tell me...You tell me how someone who claims that You are what they want and the fist time You have a problem they bolt and accuse you of stuff, where does "mentor" enter into that??? yep, makes me feel adored alrighty lol...friggin fakes

My heart felt comiserations.
I had a guy from here who contacted me SIX months ago...love at first sight he said...blah blah...joined me on fet. msn'd me for days and nights..i love you i will always love you blah blah..a man of intelligence so I thought...buggar me if he didn't appear as a protector and in a relationship with another sub over night.
Some of 'em are just wankers as we say in England.
Everybody wants to be a dom or sub. Everyone thinks they ar a mentor or protector. Its become a fashion accessory. Call me a skeptic. Call me think skinned. Social networking ssimply enables imitation.




xxblushesxx -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 1:51:33 PM)

To be fair to your friend; it happens quite often that some sub types get into relationships with men they meet on the internet, and within a month or two, they have some huge financial crises. They don't ask for anything, but they make it clear they need help. (I'm not implying this is what you did, just something that happens quite often.)

The dom in question then helps them financially, and the "sub" disappears, never to be seen or heard from again.

I have a dom friend who has been looking for "the one" for four years. (he's actually a bit of a player, so he'd really rather have this one, then that one, then the next...but anyway...) Lots of times when he meets subs on line this happens. He's too smart to offer them money, but I'm sure there are lots who aren't.

There are users on both side of the kneel.

I know this hurts now, but this probably isn't the best time for you to choose your future dom anyway. My advice is to take your time, and get your life back in order. You'll have more to offer, and be better able to choose a suitable partner if you do so.



windchymes -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 2:02:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: smplyme101

To clarify: (this is quote from HIS profile)

UPDATE: I've recently taken the lovely and enticing smplyme under my Consideration At this point she is under my training and I consider her mine. She is free to speak to whomever she chooses, she is free to offer her friendship, but her mind and body are mine, she is not to be approached by doms in any context other than those stated above. I ask that people respect this, any inquires should come to me and simplyme will be informing me of any such inquiries made to her




so my understanding is that i gave him my total trust.....yeah ok!, so no he led me to believe that i really meant something, and it wasnt a game, so think skin i have, a broken heart is replacing beliefe thats all...i just dont get how people can treat others in such a fashion.


Yes, and therefore HE felt like a big man, a larger-than-life, chest-pounding Dominant Master, standing at the crest of the Agro-Crag, his hair and long black cape blowing in the wind while lightning flashed and thunder boomed.  And then his wife screeched from the other room that he had to take the trash out.....

It doesn't matter WHY....it just DOES go on here, people DO treat others that way, and your lesson here is that you should NOT give anyone your total trust and devotion until you see them, spend time with them, spend more time with them, talk to them, experience LIFE with them, not IM and share fantasies. 



smplyme101 -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 2:05:12 PM)

Just to clarify, He stated his concern and if there was anything he could do. I replied that this was my mess and i'd get out of it. I wasnt even allowed the courtesy to explain what happend when he accused me of being a scammer and clicked off so....no i did not and would not ask for anything, that is not who i am



smplyme101 -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 2:07:41 PM)

Also: i forgot....i just want to state that my "friend" who did this was a friend of 20 years, and why am i the one responsible for the drama HE caused in my life....makes no sense to me....but to each his own opinion....i did nothing to cause this drama, i am a firm hater of drama!!



xxblushesxx -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 2:10:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: smplyme101

Just to clarify, He stated his concern and if there was anything he could do. I replied that this was my mess and i'd get out of it. I wasnt even allowed the courtesy to explain what happend when he accused me of being a scammer and clicked off so....no i did not and would not ask for anything, that is not who i am


Nor did I imply that you did.
Of course, the smartest ones don't.

I'm not implying that you did anything wrong at all. I'm just trying to give you an idea of why someone may run at that. (not that that is right...just some ideas for you to ponder.)



domiguy -> RE: meaning of Mentorship.....hmmmmm (1/8/2010 2:15:17 PM)

I cannot tell you how many times I have been scammed by a sub with the ol' "my mom is dying" con.

It's start out innocent enough at first, I receive the obligatory gash and tit shot but it never seems to fail that the demands soon come pouring in.

I'll cut right to the chase...Six months later, after I am now short tens of thousands of dollars a kidney and some bone marrow...Poof! She is gone like a fart in the wind.

God how I hate mentors, cats and subs.

Off to Gor.



Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875