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First email to a Domme/Mistress - 1/9/2010 7:44:18 PM   
oldrworthlesssub


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/9/2010
Status: offline 		I did a search in the forum to see if this was already asked but I didn't find any results.

When writting to a Domme/Mistress for the first time, if she doesnt state in her profile how she would like to be addressed, what would be the proper way, or what do most Dommes/Mistresses prefer. Would it be ok to say Hi and her profil name or would that be disrepectful in a way by not adressing her as Ma'am or Miss.

Just looking for a little guidance.

Thank you!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: First email to a Domme/Mistress - 1/9/2010 8:33:28 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hi.

Every Mistress has different requirements but when 1st contacting a Mistress it's easy to make a few mistakes because you don't know what she likes or doesn't, so start with these basics-

-Be polite.
-Address her by name or title or Mistress but ask how she prefers to be addressed.
-Don't include pics and attachments until she asks for them.
-Offer basic info about you but don't list out all you want from a Mistress because it sounds selfish and topping from the bottom.
-Ask what she's looking for in a sub.

There's lots of really helpful tips on the free site GoddessClub.com

Hope this helps.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to oldrworthlesssub)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: First email to a Domme/Mistress - 1/9/2010 8:39:41 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		Me personally,  I don't want someone to call me by a "title", as it were, because that is reserved for those I collar.  Until I collar someone we are just people talking.  Nothing wrong with not calling me anything.  Start out with something like "hello, I'm ____, and  blah blah blah.....

I'm easy....lol  (and shut up in advance to all my little "buddies" out there....lol)

hopes this makes sense...lol

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to oldrworthlesssub)
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RE: First email to a Domme/Mistress - 1/9/2010 9:40:09 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I did a search in the forum to see if this was already asked but I didn't find any results.


Here are some:

10 Steps For Making A Good First Impression
Tell me who you are...
Doing the research

I'm sure you'll get a lot of good advice here as well.

The most important is reading her profile and see if she tells you how to address her.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to oldrworthlesssub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: First email to a Domme/Mistress - 1/9/2010 9:50:37 PM   
numuncular


Posts: 183
Joined: 2/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oldrworthlesssub

I did a search in the forum to see if this was already asked but I didn't find any results.

When writting to a Domme/Mistress for the first time, if she doesnt state in her profile how she would like to be addressed, what would be the proper way, or what do most Dommes/Mistresses prefer. Would it be ok to say Hi and her profil name or would that be disrepectful in a way by not adressing her as Ma'am or Miss.

Just looking for a little guidance.

Thank you!


personally, I avoid using any sort of title that could be miscontrued as me being a bit presumptive, and wouldn't address anyone as ma'am or miss unless their profile demanded it.
however. since I've yet to find anyone on here, I probably shouldnt be answering this question as though my opinion was worth a damn!

(in reply to oldrworthlesssub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: First email to a Domme/Mistress - 1/9/2010 9:53:24 PM   
oldrworthlesssub


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/9/2010
Status: offline 		Wow! Thank you ladies for the great advice, as well as the websites to look at. I really appreciate it.

@Academyforslaves - I always try to follow those steps you suggested. I never speak of my wants or needs unless I am asked. When I'm writing, I write in the same manor as if I were meeting them for the first time someplace and that is how i introduce myself in the email. I wouldn't see someone at a munch or bar or someplace and walk up to her and just say, I want to be your bitch, I like this..this..and that. Make me yours...lol.

Instead I tell them about who I am, my vanilla interests, what about their profile prompted me to email them in the first place. Although I have been including pictures in my emails. You would suggest I not do so?

@DrkJourney - I completely agree with you, I about calling someone a "title" I only do so if they ask. I feel the same way, If I call my Missstress/Domme "Ma'am", then if I call someone else that, I feel it looses any meaning it has when I say it to my Mistress/Domme.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: First email to a Domme/Mistress - 1/10/2010 6:42:05 AM   
omkfY


Posts: 104
Joined: 7/7/2009
From: State of Jefferson
Status: offline 		If their profile doesn't state a preference, I just use their username.

(in reply to oldrworthlesssub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: First email to a Domme/Mistress - 1/10/2010 7:05:17 AM   
LadyChallene


Posts: 207
Joined: 5/18/2009
Status: offline 		oldrworthlesssub,

I know what I am about to suggest is not part of what you were asking, none-the-less since it is a pet peeve of mine, I'll throw my hat in the ring and offer it .

My peeve is this ... when anyone, self-classification aside, messages me the first time or even the first few times and does not add in a name or nick name it rubs a bit. I wind up with a feeling that they are too removed or even invisible. Perhaps it is because I like my sub/slave's to have a spirit, even a bit of sass to them.

Being raised in the South, and a military family, I always fall back on being courteous which means, again no matter the self-classification, I still call most Sir or Ma'am or whatever they have listed in their profiles. After that I try and make a point of asking them how they prefer to be addressed. Just like the other poster (DrkJourney) said, " Until I collar someone we are just people talking.", I too prefer a general address. Once I collar someone, they know how to address me and it is different from everyone else.


Wish you all the best in your search and correspondence.


Warm regards,

Lady Challene




Attachment (1)

< Message edited by LadyChallene -- 1/10/2010 7:06:35 AM >

_____________________________

Heads I win, tails you lose.
Will that squeak if I squeeze it?
I hate torturing people, but I'm really, really good at it.

(in reply to oldrworthlesssub)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: First email to a Domme/Mistress - 1/10/2010 7:20:19 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		~Brief thread jack~

LadyChallene, I love the different picture attachments you add to some of your posts.  Reminds me of a friend who, when she would write snail mail, would add little doodles of people by her signature.

Sorry...back on topic.

OP,  when someone takes the time to write me here, I prefer they use my screen name.  Titles, in my opinion, imply a familiarity that doesn't exist yet. I also pay close attention to a person's chosen screen name as it can sometimes be more telling of who that person really is than any flowery words they send in an email. 


_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to LadyChallene)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: First email to a Domme/Mistress - 1/10/2010 8:40:47 AM   
LadyChallene


Posts: 207
Joined: 5/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

~Brief thread jack~

LadyChallene, I love the different picture attachments you add to some of your posts.  Reminds me of a friend who, when she would write snail mail, would add little doodles of people by her signature. 


Thank you so very much. To me it's like the difference between writing in black/blue ink or picking up your favorite pen with a new and 'vivid' color ... just another way of expressing yourself.


Lady Challene

_____________________________

Heads I win, tails you lose.
Will that squeak if I squeeze it?
I hate torturing people, but I'm really, really good at it.

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: First email to a Domme/Mistress - 1/11/2010 9:19:10 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		OP - when in doubt, use their screen name. They chose it, they must like it! Titles are too hit and miss ... some like Maam, some like Miss, some like Goddess, some don't like any of those!

Secondly, consider a new screen name for yourself. Older worthless sub doesn't sound like anything I would want to be bothered with replying to. Why would I put value/worth on someone who thinks himself to be worthless?? Try to pick something more neutral, something with a bit of mystery can work as it can encourage the Lady to enquire about your name. Avoid anything too obviously sexual too, I don't tend to respond to "ieaturass" names either! Avoid text speak as well. I've not checked your profile but if you want to clue in to being older why not something like "child_of_the_60s" or whatever. Few if any genuine lifestyle Dommes that I have met in real life or here respond positively to this stereotype of the sub being a grovelling worthless worm, that screams fantasy player to us. Oh, and I prefer you to suggest a name that I can use to write back to you if you prefer it to your screen name. I don't like writing "Hi ... whatever your name is" either.

Good luck!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to LadyChallene)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: First email to a Domme/Mistress - 1/11/2010 9:41:24 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Ok, so I'm a switch, but I want people to address me by my screenname, not Mistress, "Ma'am" or anything else. I won't address any guy that writes to me by anything other than his screenname or his regluar name if he told me what it was. Like others have mentioned, titles or honorifics in initial emails can be misconstrued when you don't even know the person and aren't in a relationship. I admit I have pissed some guys off by intentionally NOT referring to them as "Sir," "Lord" or some other such silly thing when responding. But then again, since they are making the request before we have even had a conversation, the mail they are typically getting from me really wouldn't start out with any of those titles anyway, lol.

As MaamJay said, I also would reconsider the screen name you chose. Most of the women here whose opinions I have come to respect wouldn't have much interest in someone who had such a low opinion of himself.

(in reply to oldrworthlesssub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: First email to a Domme/Mistress - 1/12/2010 1:06:47 AM   
Whipstress


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		Dear oldrworthlesssub....

First of all, I LOVE your name lol, it has given me a great laugh...so see? You aren't worthless at all, but I'm sure you know that.

For me, whatever a sub writes that is from the heart and with manners is fine. I can always request what I want once I know them better. Just don't give a Domme your laundry list of "wants." If you just have to give a list, give a list of what you can do for them.

Whipstress ~

(in reply to oldrworthlesssub)
Profile   Post #: 13
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