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Profile help - 1/10/2010 1:43:25 PM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline 		Can you kind, fellow subs, slaves, etc. read my profile and tell me what you think?

When I started this one and the others I have, I was in a relationship so it was easy to write it. Now, I feel it's a little all over the place.

Any suggestions?

Thank you :)

_____________________________

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 2:13:14 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Here are my thoughts that came to me as i read through your profile - and just thoughts and suggestions, you won't hurt my feelings if you don't take them, hee hee!

First thought - are you using Firefox? You have some stray editing tags that are showing up - for me that didn't really get fixed until i went back to Internet Explorer. Sometimes pasting the text into notepad, and then re-copying and pasting from notepad into the edit profile tool fixes the problem. :)

i'm sure you're removing the part about "exploring with someone," right? Since you're now looking again....or are you? Not sure if that's your goal, actually. Is it still just friendship?

i tend to leave out comments that direct people how to message me, like your "rude messages" comment - it just appears a bit sensitive or reactionary, in my opinion - i believe it is just better to delete messages you receive that you don't like and just don't reply.

Same, thing, you don't need to apologize for not being poly - there are LOTS of men who are seeking a 1:1 relationship - be happy and proud of who you are and for speaking your truth.

i typically don't speak about my daughter until i begin to talk with a man - to me i don't want to make her an "issue", or appear "needy" for her - she is part of me, and that gets discussed as we discuss other things. Again, just my thoughts.

Other than these thoughts i like what you say about who you are and your submission - i'm sure others will have more thoughts to add. Good luck!



_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 2:37:37 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		since your not looking , nothing needs to be said so whatever you say is ok

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 2:44:31 PM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline 		I changed a couple of things. Thanks UniqueRaven, I took a couple of your suggestions :)

_____________________________

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 5:09:50 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		You are absolutely gorgeous so having your pic up serves you well. On the other hand you'll have to be aware that some men will be responding to you for that only and you'll have to weed them out.

I'm not sure you should mention your relationship failure...we've all had them and it's kind of a negative. You will probably discuss it at some point with a prospective partner. Perhaps this should be all about you and what you are looking for and what you can offer...not the idiot that missed his chance with you. How about adding a little more about yourself and your interests outside of BDSM in the written portion? It would give more of a light hearted feel for you and what you like to do in your life.

This is just me but I completely leave out anything sexual. So many men concentrate just on that. It's like tunnel vision, as soon as they see it then it's all about that. The kink and the sex. I would be the same as you and looking for a relationship instead of casual flings or play. Some men seem to think the mere mention of anything sexual or kink on your part means that is what you are here for and will do them at the drop of a hat. I just prefer weeding them out as much as possible right from the start. In my way of thinking a day with fewer messages saying 'kneel bitch' or the caveman style 'you, me, naked' is a darned good day. I figure I'll get around to talking sex/kink with anyone I am interested in fairly quickly but it's not what I want to draw people to me. That's not my focus and if it is their focus better to not have those men come to the table so to speak if at all possible.

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 5:27:19 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		WHats been said above....

(and personally, my favorite pic of the ones you have is #3...  something innocently decadent about it, very appealing.. although do keep what lizi said about pics in mind...LOL)


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 5:27:26 PM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline 		lizi - I did take out the failed relationship thing. It does sound better without it.

And what do you mean about the sexual stuff? The likes/dislikes list?

_____________________________

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 5:28:32 PM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

WHats been said above....

(and personally, my favorite pic of the ones you have is #3...  something innocently decadent about it, very appealing.. although do keep what lizi said about pics in mind...LOL)




Thanks :)

_____________________________

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 5:44:36 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		This isn't about the profile, but I just wanted to say that you have the most gorgeous green eyes I think I've ever seen :)  It might be the lighting (or my eyes, lol) making your hair look jet black, but if you'd lighten a couple shades to a deep sable brown, I think that would be stunning with the green eyes.  They'd pop.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 5:47:29 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elizabeth666

lizi - I did take out the failed relationship thing. It does sound better without it.

And what do you mean about the sexual stuff? The likes/dislikes list?


Yes, I meant anything at all in the profile that is sexual or pertains to kink....interest list included. I know that not everyone here feels the same but I just got tired of the wankers and idiots that think that BDSM means free sex. If you were interested in someone I think it's good to approach fairly soon the subject of kink and see if the kinks match up...but it just seems to fail (in my eyes) as a preliminary test of compatibility.

I want to know basically if a man and I are compatible as human beings first and in the bedroom second. There are usually gray areas that everyone has in the activity arena and will expand on them for the right person. If there is something absolutely necessary to you then by all means include it...the pussy eating thread comes to mind    but if your kink waxes and wanes according to who you are with as it does with me then the person is first, the kink activities we do are second. Therefore I try to eliminate those men that approach me with the view that because I like spanking or bondage we are a perfect match because gosh darn...they do too! I have actually had men tell me that. My profile isn't visible now due to some personal drama but when I put it back up it'll be a concise version of what I want, what I have to offer, and what I like to do in general without any mention in the interest list or the written section of kink. I just don't want to talk about kink with a stranger, I'd like to know him a bit better before my personal life comes into the discussion. I am a woman, not an object (apologies to those who desire that). I want to know that someone wants me for me not because i'll let him tie me up. 

< Message edited by lizi -- 1/10/2010 5:58:07 PM >

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 5:47:34 PM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

This isn't about the profile, but I just wanted to say that you have the most gorgeous green eyes I think I've ever seen :)  It might be the lighting (or my eyes, lol) making your hair look jet black, but if you'd lighten a couple shades to a deep sable brown, I think that would be stunning with the green eyes.  They'd pop.


Thanks. They're hazel, so I think it was the lighting lol and my air is black. I hate my normal color lol

But I always get compliments on my eyes :)

_____________________________

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 6:20:41 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		OK, the view from a Dom male-

Being a fairly typical man, I perved your pics first- they are delightful, but you already knew that, so lets move on.

Your text is good, meaning it is right to the point- you speak forthrightly about what you are and are not looking for, the writing is clear and articulate, signalling you are intelligent and educated, and the list of interests doesn't go endlessly on with "expert" listed on them. You set boundaries that are clear, but not so tightly drawn as to exclude a reasonable pool of candidates.

So all in all, a very nicely done profile.



Of course- you already know- there is a certain percentage who won't get past the pics. Sorry- take it up with our Creator.

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 6:25:22 PM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elizabeth666

lizi - I did take out the failed relationship thing. It does sound better without it.

And what do you mean about the sexual stuff? The likes/dislikes list?


Yes, I meant anything at all in the profile that is sexual or pertains to kink....interest list included. I know that not everyone here feels the same but I just got tired of the wankers and idiots that think that BDSM means free sex. If you were interested in someone I think it's good to approach fairly soon the subject of kink and see if the kinks match up...but it just seems to fail (in my eyes) as a preliminary test of compatibility.

I want to know basically if a man and I are compatible as human beings first and in the bedroom second. There are usually gray areas that everyone has in the activity arena and will expand on them for the right person. If there is something absolutely necessary to you then by all means include it...the pussy eating thread comes to mind    but if your kink waxes and wanes according to who you are with as it does with me then the person is first, the kink activities we do are second. Therefore I try to eliminate those men that approach me with the view that because I like spanking or bondage we are a perfect match because gosh darn...they do too! I have actually had men tell me that. My profile isn't visible now due to some personal drama but when I put it back up it'll be a concise version of what I want, what I have to offer, and what I like to do in general without any mention in the interest list or the written section of kink. I just don't want to talk about kink with a stranger, I'd like to know him a bit better before my personal life comes into the discussion. I am a woman, not an object (apologies to those who desire that). I want to know that someone wants me for me not because i'll let him tie me up. 


Makes sense. I've had a few messages that have started out with what my list says. I just ignore them. I think I have them there so people know right of the bat.

_____________________________

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 6:26:36 PM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

OK, the view from a Dom male-

Being a fairly typical man, I perved your pics first- they are delightful, but you already knew that, so lets move on.

Your text is good, meaning it is right to the point- you speak forthrightly about what you are and are not looking for, the writing is clear and articulate, signalling you are intelligent and educated, and the list of interests doesn't go endlessly on with "expert" listed on them. You set boundaries that are clear, but not so tightly drawn as to exclude a reasonable pool of candidates.

So all in all, a very nicely done profile.



Of course- you already know- there is a certain percentage who won't get past the pics. Sorry- take it up with our Creator.


Thank you :)

I didn't want to ramble on and on. Nothing wrong with that, but I didn't want to. Plus I have a short attention span sometimes and I myself don't always want to read an extremely long profile

_____________________________

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 6:40:30 PM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline 		You've already gotten good feedback--and I agree that your pics are really gorgeous.

I would recommend adding something that indicates what your personality is like. I think it's usually more effective to show your personality than to list personality traits. For example, if you would say that you are not a great cook but very optimistic, you might add something to your profile like, "Although I can't boil water, I'm hopeful that the next batch will turn out well."

Here is some specific feedback in all caps:

What am I looking for? Someone to please. YOU COULD SAY SOMETHING HERE LIKE "HEARING 'GOOD GIRL' MAKES ME FEEL COMPLETE."

I have alot to give, my thoughts, mind, body and submission. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN TO YOU? MANY PEOPLE SAY THE SAME THING, BUT EVERYONE MEANS IT A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY. WHAT DOES SUBMISSION MEAN TO YOU?

I am monogamous, so I won't be in a poly relationship or with anyone who is married. Sorry, but that is how I feel. I WOULDN'T APOLOGIZE FOR THIS. I THINK IF IT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU, YOU ARE RIGHT TO BE UP FRONT ABOUT.

I am a strong, independent, open-minded woman. I can be stubborn and sometimes known to be mouthy (lol) but I see that as part of my charm. I LIKE THIS AND WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE. WHAT DO YOU GET MOUTHY ABOUT? ARE THERE CERTAIN TOPICS? FOR EXAMPLE, FOR ME, I GET MOUTHY WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT D/s BEING MISOGYNISTIC. IF I WERE LOOKING, I WOULD PUT THAT IN MY PROFILE BECAUSE I THINK IT SAYS A LOT ABOUTH HOW I VIEW D/s.

I know what I want in life THIS MAKES ME WONDER EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE--CAREER, KIDS, FINANCIAL SECURITY . . . AND HOW DOES D/s FIT IN?

I hope this helps. Good luck.




_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 6:43:28 PM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

You've already gotten good feedback--and I agree that your pics are really gorgeous.

I would recommend adding something that indicates what your personality is like. I think it's usually more effective to show your personality than to list personality traits. For example, if you would say that you are not a great cook but very optimistic, you might add something to your profile like, "Although I can't boil water, I'm hopeful that the next batch will turn out well."

Here is some specific feedback in all caps:

What am I looking for? Someone to please. YOU COULD SAY SOMETHING HERE LIKE "HEARING 'GOOD GIRL' MAKES ME FEEL COMPLETE."

I have alot to give, my thoughts, mind, body and submission. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN TO YOU? MANY PEOPLE SAY THE SAME THING, BUT EVERYONE MEANS IT A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY. WHAT DOES SUBMISSION MEAN TO YOU?

I am monogamous, so I won't be in a poly relationship or with anyone who is married. Sorry, but that is how I feel. I WOULDN'T APOLOGIZE FOR THIS. I THINK IF IT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU, YOU ARE RIGHT TO BE UP FRONT ABOUT.

I am a strong, independent, open-minded woman. I can be stubborn and sometimes known to be mouthy (lol) but I see that as part of my charm. I LIKE THIS AND WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE. WHAT DO YOU GET MOUTHY ABOUT? ARE THERE CERTAIN TOPICS? FOR EXAMPLE, FOR ME, I GET MOUTHY WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT D/s BEING MISOGYNISTIC. IF I WERE LOOKING, I WOULD PUT THAT IN MY PROFILE BECAUSE I THINK IT SAYS A LOT ABOUTH HOW I VIEW D/s.

I know what I want in life THIS MAKES ME WONDER EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE--CAREER, KIDS, FINANCIAL SECURITY . . . AND HOW DOES D/s FIT IN?

I hope this helps. Good luck.





Thanks, I may have to change some things around tomorrow. :)

_____________________________

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"

(in reply to lucylucy)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Profile help - 1/10/2010 6:44:58 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Personally I preferred to mention that I was a single parent and that they came first. I also preferred a man who was himself a parent who was very involved with his children. If you feel, as I do, that nonparents don't understand the life of a parent, and you prefer a partner who is himself a good one, then mention that.

Unfortunately most of the mail you will get will be as a result of your pictures, not your profile. Why not start reading profiles of men local to you and see if any of them appeal. Men so rarely get mail, they will be delighted to respond.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to lucylucy)
Profile   Post #: 17
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