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osf -> RE: structure (1/14/2010 9:50:39 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
That's the beauty of it. The rules are exceedingly simple.
Because I know he values say... me being able to have a healthy relationship with my parents over his desire to have dinner perfectly on time, I don't need to consult him or any list of rules to know what to do if Mom calls and we get to chatting. I chat will my Mom till we are done, then I either figure out what I can in a short amount of time or grab some take-out that I know he will like.
It's just a matter of knowing him well enough to know what he values and be utterly confident that I know what he values more highly than something else. Because of that, we don't actually have a lot rules. It's simply a series of judgement calls. When I screw it up, I explain my reasoning and he explains what he would have wanted.
It's a constantly improving structure without a lot of fuss or rules.
and i see nothing wrong with that, if it works it works and you can't argue with sucess
but in my relationships i'm rather pedantic, i absolutely want to know both minds are on the same page, my page lol
most can't operate that way and i know that in many ways i'm different
maybe i see it on two levels there are rules and influence, i'm into extremely deep mind knowledge for the lack of a better word at the moment
i want her to open up to the extent that to think out loud to me is as natural as thinking silently to herself
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