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breaking rules - 1/12/2010 2:55:25 PM

Knighthunter862

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Joined: 12/30/2009
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What would this phrase mean when said by a submissive.I have never done anything that you didnt allow me to do?

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RE: breaking rules - 1/12/2010 2:58:56 PM

osf

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end run around the rules?

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RE: breaking rules - 1/12/2010 3:00:49 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

What would this phrase mean when said by a submissive.I have never done anything that you didnt allow me to do?

What do you mean? The dominant breaking the rules of the relationship or the submissive?

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RE: breaking rules - 1/12/2010 3:05:01 PM

peppermint

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I have no idea. Quite frankly, your question is not very clearly stated. I have no idea under what context this phrase was used and why.

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RE: breaking rules - 1/12/2010 3:17:11 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

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To me, it means exactly what it says. In her eyes, she hasn't done anything wrong, because you permitted the action. If the action was indeed a violation of a rule you stated, and you did nothing to correct the matter, is it really a rule?

Let's give a mild example:

Rule: You are to always drop to your knees and kiss my feet as I enter the house.

Scenario #1: She is busy fixing dinner, setting the table and doesn't hear you enter the house. You sneak into the kitchen and give her a kiss. She smiles and says "Hi!".

She 'broke' the written rule, but you did not enforce the written rule, so she figures the rule doesn't really matter.

Scenario #2: Again, she's busy fixing dinner and doesn't hear you enter the house. You go to the kitchen, demand she kiss your feet. Then tell her, for now on you expect she be waiting at the door between 6-6:30 pm for your arrival.

Now, you have established that rule is important, and she must follow it.

If situations like scenario 1 are occuring with whatever rules you've decided upon, it really is your own fault they are not being followed, because you are not enforcing them - quite frankly in that scenario, you are rewarding the breaking of the rules and sending mixed messages.

If in scenario #2, she continued to not follow the established rules even if you continued to enforce them, then your rules don't matter to her and she should likely be shown the door.

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RE: breaking rules - 1/12/2010 4:03:50 PM

wisdomtogive

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From the way you wrote 'a submissive statement', it seems she is saying i did as you wanted in the framework that you laid out. That is how i take it. Of course to throw in a monkey wrench, why is she saying that? What is the situation? Does the Dom not realize the rules laid out for their s-type? If the s-type stretch something to make it look like they are following your guidelines, and the Dom/mee feels it is wrong, maybe the Dom/mee needs to sit down and converse with s-type for clarity. If it is subtle manipulation, then maybe Dom/mee needs to address that.......

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RE: breaking rules - 1/12/2010 5:23:15 PM

LadyPact

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If it were Me, I'd be asking the submissive who said it. My inclination says that either rules were not conveyed properly, so therefore, a particular behavior was seen as permitted *or* such a rule was stated, but no consequences for breaking the rule were enforced.

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RE: breaking rules - 1/12/2010 6:46:59 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

What would this phrase mean when said by a submissive.I have never done anything that you didnt allow me to do?

It means they are in charge, not you.

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RE: breaking rules - 1/12/2010 6:49:07 PM

littlewonder

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It means you're in a relationship with someone who has set rules within it and you agreed to them?

If you didn't agree to them and she says that...well then either you weren't listening at all or you both are terrible communicators.

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RE: breaking rules - 1/12/2010 7:00:30 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

What would this phrase mean when said by a submissive.I have never done anything that you didnt allow me to do?

It means they are in charge, not you.

Ok, I think I get it.

If I said that, it would probably be in the context of me having done something that I hadn't been made aware was against the rules or something I had somehow gotten a mixed message about.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: breaking rules - 1/13/2010 4:51:38 AM

DesFIP

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Agree with Aqua. Either you were unclear, or although you said you didn't want her to do x, you see it and never call her on it.

Re the drop to your knees and wait by the door from 6 - 6:30 example, please understand that you can't also demand dinner be on the table at 6:30 or that it be cooked well. If you want one, then you can't also ask stuff that is diametrically opposed. In other words, she can't be cooking and kneeling at the same time. In a situation like this you must expect dinner to be served later or it to be burned regularly.

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RE: breaking rules - 1/13/2010 5:06:29 AM

AquaticSub

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*snickers* My solution to that would be that dinner would be cold.

"Sir, I had to prepare it at five so that it would be on the table at 5:50 so that I could be at the door at six... "

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: breaking rules - 1/13/2010 5:44:04 AM

xxblushesxx

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She wants more from you as a dominant. She wants you to be clear communicating your wants and needs.

If I had said that, it would be my way of "encouraging" (for lack of a better word) my Dominant to become *more* dominant, and/or to be much more clear about what is expected of me now and in the future.

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RE: breaking rules - 1/13/2010 7:13:37 AM

AsmodaisSin

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To use a very over-used explanation, it reads like topping from the bottom in a really snarky, attitude-filled way. Now, i may be overstepping my bounds when i say this, but i feel like these kinds of responses are disrespectful. There's a time and place to be snarky or sarcastic. Trying to reiterate or figure our rules is not one of them. (This isn't to say i am a doormat. If you take the time to ask Daddy, i am extremely outspoken [because He loves that about me] but i also know how to word things in a much more respectful way. Again. This is my opinion and my opinion only. This isn't me trying to offend anyone or tell them they're not sub/slave or Dom/Master enough.)

If it HAD been me, this would have been my response: Daddy/Master/Sir, i am unsure of the rules and roles You have set in place for me. Would You please go over them again so that i might have a stronger grasp and so that i might serve You better?

My interpretation of the ops example (I have never done anything that you didnt allow me to do?) just doesn't mesh well with me.

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RE: breaking rules - 1/13/2010 11:55:23 AM

winterrose77

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If you're not paying attention to your slave and let him or her get away with breaking a rule, on your own head be it.

The difference between a good Dom and a bad Dom is that a good Dom will catch their sub's little mistakes and punish them swiftly and fairly. A bad Dom will allow him or her to get away with it, not notice it, or punish unfairly or out of the proper time frame. The secret is to know your sub inside and out, and be so perfectly in tune with them that you know every move they make the second they make it.

Seems like your sub is acting out in an attempt to gain your attention. I suggest upping the intensity a little bit and really taking your sub down as far as you can into sub-space. A happy slave is a well-punished, well-loved slave. :)

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