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popeye1250 -> RE: Pat Robertson Is a Crazy (1/16/2010 1:41:21 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LonDom61
@heartcream:
you said: who names their kid Oral?
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Indeed. And his brother Anal had an even WORSE time at school. (Maybe references to what became the "Chastity Pledge" movement, where girls make a written pact with their fathers to remain virgins. And which sometimes develops into the Anything But Club.)
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@ Popeye
"Universities" indeed. And they're accredited.
Then there are the unaccredited ones. Like the one where Kent Hovind (DoctorDino himself) got his PhD. Cost him $1899. His "doctoral dissertation", locked away until recently, is hilarious. I guess he was given a format and told to start with an introduction. His dissertation intro begins "Hello. My name is Kent Hovind. I live in Pensacola Florida"
He ran a small tacky dinosaur adventure park (creationist slant; Dinosaurs & people together; precursor of Ken Hamm's deluxe version Creation Museum in, I think, Kentucky). He did various other evangelical stuff. And sold folks a course on how to pay no taxes. (Hey, if he can get his diploma by mail, why shouldn't he also sell correspondence courses?)
How to pay no taxes? Step one, Declare your home a church. I'm sure there was more to it, though.
And he practiced what he preached. The DinoPark was a church. The staff were "clergy" or "missionaries". Just a whole BUNCHA tax not gettin paid.
He's now about half way thru a 10 year prison sentence. Still kneels to Jesus every day (pronounced, in this case, Hayzoose). Still god-fearing; now IRS-fearing too.
His sons are carrying on the family bible thumping business. Pretty sure they've closed down the Tax Abatement division. On YouTube, search for Hovind, Creation Minute, Stupidity Minute, etc.
LonDom, lolol, too funny! God, it seems like "everyone" has some kind of "degree" these days! I didn't know you needed a degree to be a bartender, waitress or to work at Lowe's.
I never had one 'till I was 40 after I got out of the US Coast Guard and I was like, "yeah,...so?" Silly me! Now you can get them online. Or buy phoney ones.
I bet my buddy Jethro Bodine could get one these days; "Hey Granny! Uncle Jed! Ya'll notice anything "differant" about me?"
"Why no Jethro, cain't say that I can."
"Well I's college educated now, yup, you're looking at a brandnew college grad-u-ate!"
"Granny you better put on some vittles, Jethro's going to be doing a LOT more cypherin' down by the cee-ment pond!"
I'm 59 and when I grew up the only people around me that had degrees were the doctors and the lawyers. Even bank presidents were proud of "working their way up from cashier." Now everyone has one and they're all too smart to sweep the floor. ("Only psychology majors are qualified to sweep floors!")
Lon, I bet I could start my own college and people would pay big money to go. I could call it "The Jethro Bodine School of Economics" (We specializes in Cypherin'!)
I think it's funny as hell that those tv preachers with bad haircuts started "Universities!"
It must be like a Three Stooges movie walking through those hallways; "Dr Fine! Dr Howard! Dr. Fine!" Everyone's a "Doctor!" lol
I read somewhere once that they even have "degrees" for "learning impaired people!" Oh? Like high school dropouts? Or Ricky the retard who can't tie his shoes yet? I wonder if it says that on their degree certificates? "LEARNING IMPAIRED!" "Hey!... Did you try to *erase* something on that degree?" "What's that say under there?" "Nuffin! Nuffin! You fuckin' shithead, lemme alone!" "I want my candy bar!"
I was thinking about taking a course in creative writing last year and inquired about it to a few places and for the next six months I got letters, e-mails and phone calls from dozens of schools!
You know how Levi Strauss got rich selling overalls to the gold minors? That's how this works, you sell diplomas or degrees to the masses with the promise of a bright "future" and when they graduate,...........FUCK EM!!! Fuck em up the ass, who cares about them when we have,... next years su,..students comming in with cash from Mom and Pop and whatever money we can screw the govt out of! "Go fuck yourself "you want your money back!" "Let me go ask my manager, I mean burser, ...FUCK YOU you ain't getting it! Now go grovel for a job at Starbucks, that's where our placement office "placed" you.
That's how this works, the colleges are "Levi Strauss" and the students, Goldminers! Only the students are the ones being *mined* and they're too stupid to know it! What a racket! Why didn't I think of that!
"You bastards, see if I ever give money to the alumni assoc!"
"Ha! Fuck you, we don't have one, "un-needed expenses!"
"You won't be able to afford it anyway on your Starbucks wages! Ha, Ha!
"What's this on my degree! It says, "LEARNING IMPAIRED!"
"You still owe us $30k! Want to get it off?"
"This is called "higher education."
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