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RE: Out Of Control Dom/me - 3/23/2006 12:50:25 PM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
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lashra

That is something that happen not only to submissive and slaves but to just about anyone person! I would try to have a talk with them! That is not right at all! I have a twin sister she works all day and comes home so mad and angry and guess who gets the worst side of her? Me, i am the one she will go for when she is so mad but this is not hitting me but it is makes it damn bad. I am a domme but that side of me does not go after my family so there is no dominanting of them. But i have talk to her and said you so wrong for acting this way when you mad at someone else!

Now for your dommes it is a poor way for them to act when they come home. It does show they are human and have feeling of angry at others, and i see these others who are making them so mad they can not do a thing to them! So they come home and know they can take it out on you! I am sorry this is happening to you and as their submissive do you feel when they are not mad, that maybe you could tell them are doing this? When they walk into the front door? This is what i had to do to my twin sister. She really did not know her angry was coming home with her.

I do hope you can talk with them? This is all i can think of now to resolve your problem! One more thing i hope they are not hurting you? Even if this is verbal abuse it still is as painful as a slap even more so.

take care and be well

mons/ jane

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RE: Out Of Control Dom/me - 3/23/2006 12:52:42 PM

ray64

Posts: 18
Joined: 12/15/2005
From: Tahlequah Ok.
Status: offline

I would begin to wonder about their MENTAL stability. The word "Danger" comes to mind. Safety would become VERY IMPORTANT. I would think that being able to handle everyday stress IS Manditory for any Dom/Domme

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RE: Out Of Control Dom/me - 3/23/2006 1:11:34 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinmann

if anything they should be relax ing and calming down with you, you didn't cause their anger. and if you did make them angery, it's the wrong time to punish anyone when your angery. It sounds like they have no self control of their emotions.it's a shame they treat you like this.

i didn't say he DID treat me like this. In fact he has NEVER treated me like this. i said how i would respond should that situation occur. Since i know how he is, if he were to burst in the door like that i would know immediately that something was terribly wrong, and i would be there for him, in whatever manner he needed.

Nor would i see this as punishment. It is simply relieving his stress, and i am happy to do it.

Nothing about this is a shame, in my case. i do not view serving my Master in ANY capacity to be a shame. Read my other posts, and you will see where i am coming from. If you were responding to me, i hope i have set that straight.

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RE: Out Of Control Dom/me - 3/23/2006 1:47:44 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

They come in the front door, angry, frustated from a bad day at work and traffic sucked, they then decide to lay into you for no other reason than...your there and you belong to them.
What do you do? How do you handle it?

I get this occassionally, but it never turns physical. What i do is get Him his snack and beverage and let Him unload on me. He feels much better after getting it all out. Sometimes i suggest we go out to dinner, that seems to help too. The few times when i feel He's become verbally abusive toward me, i've left the room, sometimes in tears.

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"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

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RE: Out Of Control Dom/me - 3/23/2006 2:01:07 PM

RunedDragon

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

Even if I allowed my slave to have a safeword, I don't think she'd use it. That situation happens often in our home and normally she stays silent and gets me a mug of hot tea and leaves it at my side before exiting quietly.

< Message edited by RunedDragon -- 3/23/2006 2:04:55 PM >

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RE: Out Of Control Dom/me - 3/23/2006 2:11:19 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

They come in the front door, angry, frustated from a bad day at work and traffic sucked, they then decide to lay into you for no other reason than...your there and you belong to them.
What do you do? How do you handle it?

In my case, I accepted it. That's why I was there. However, he was never out of control, which I think makes a huge difference.

quote:

hopefully, get into the energy of the anger.

Since I enjoyed being a 'punching bag' for him, that is exactly what I did; got into the energy of the anger. Nicely said LA.

quote:

I think alot of subs/slave dont' know the difference between abusive behavior and *discipline*. I wonder sometimes if they have been in the lifestyle too long or have been perhaps brainwashed into thinking they have to be Mistress/Master's whipping boy/girl outside of a scene because it is *expected* of a sub/slave to take.

I was expected to 'take it'. If I had tried to tell him 'hey, I don't feel like being beaten right now because you are angry over something else', it would have gone into a discipline scenario for telling him NO, of which I was not going to do so willingly. But then, as I said, I enjoyed the times he would come home and start whipping on me for no reason other than I was there, and because he could :) It made me happy to know that I was there for him at times like that.

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RE: Out Of Control Dom/me - 3/23/2006 4:31:28 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
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Looks up at IM...expect me!

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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RE: Out Of Control Dom/me - 3/23/2006 5:36:29 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
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As the type of lifestyle submissive I am (understanding this isn't for everyone), I don't think I would have much more of a reaction than to accept it because if that's what helps her unwind and feel better, then I'm willing to take the behavior. I once dated a woman who used to be very much like this, and I never found it abusive, but I know that I NEVER did anything to make her want to make the treatment worse. And as strange as it sounds, we got along smashingly.

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Post #: 28

RE: Out Of Control Dom/me - 3/23/2006 8:07:30 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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To the OP...I have been told that I have a very calming influence on people,it is nothing in particular I do..however..I address all outburts on an individual level there is never a one way does it for all ,or for one in differing situations.Many times to sit and listen is all that is needed,other times to lighten the mood is another,again other ways could be just keeping even tones,with service helps to bring the level down.It all varies each and every time and each and every situation.My last resort would be to let them be alone to gain control.And after control is gained then I would encourage them to confide in me if they wished and to soothe those tattered emotions.Giving encouragement,suggesting resolutions,or diverting their attention..whichever works...:0).....be well....tempting

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RE: Out Of Control Dom/me - 3/24/2006 11:12:20 AM

SweetEscravo

Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
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If my dom came home in a foul mood after a bad day, I would simply take that as a cue to cheer him up. Make him something to drink or eat, give him a massage, and polietly ask about what happened that day. If he was going to take anger out on me physically, I would call my safword in a second because that is abuse imo. Rather than being an emotional or phsyical punching bag, I think a sub should work to improve the dom/me's mood or do something to help him or her destress.

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RE: Out Of Control Dom/me - 3/24/2006 12:18:20 PM

sub2b

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Lashra:What does a sub/slave do about an out of control Dom/me?

+this sub would try to enjoy every minute of it!

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RE: Out Of Control Dom/me - 3/24/2006 1:48:55 PM

cinderella221972

Posts: 17
Joined: 4/8/2005
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The words "out of control" catch me right off. It seems to me before a dom/me is prepared to own a slave, they will have mastered control of themselves. Thus, coming in from a bad day might mean they are going to need some special attention or extra space depending on personality, but it should not mean they are abusive to the slave. I realize there are those who disagree, but in my opinion, any slave being expected to take "out of control" treatment is in danger and needs to seek help getting out.

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:) definitely NOT vanilla :)

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Post #: 32