Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (Full Version)

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LadyEllen -> Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/17/2010 1:13:51 PM)

The ice and snow have gone! It was a balmy 8 centigrade outside today, which truly felt warm compared to the last few weeks; instead of vest, jumper, woolly cardigan (knee length) and eskimo style coat (plus gloves, hat and scarf), this afternoon it was fine with just a jumper and jacket.

And for the first time in weeks I took the Jag out for a spin. After what seems like months of going nowhere fast, of feeling trapped in the house except for seeing to what has to be done, of going slowly but surely crazy, it was wonderful.

I drove out of town, behind the usual tailback of dimwitted 40s (so called as they drive at 40mph wherever they are - past the school at chucking out time, on the open road and everything inbetween), and then reached open countryside, where few people live and few vehicles block the roads on a Sunday - even fewer on the route I chose, to the west of the Severn where speed limits are rarely posted.

And then I went insane, releasing all the pent up frustration of my involuntary icy imprisonment. 0-60 from the first junction in just under 10secs on a very wet road - not bad for an old lady car and driver. Never dipping below 45mph on a twisting, turning narrow road, hitting 65 and 70 on the few straights, I had a good half hour of late braking, gear changing, engine roaring, adrenaline pumping stress relief. Wonderful.  I have to say too, the car seemed to enjoy it as well.

And whereas I can get 24mpg urban and past the mid 30s on the motorway, my trip meter showed a proud 12mpg from my rallying style insanity. A vital contribution to global warming I'm sure you will all agree.

My thanks to Jaguar for producing what I still think is an excellent car, despite the criticisms aimed at it, and to the people of Shropshire for staying home for a few hours.





sappatoti -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/18/2010 9:04:36 AM)

Sometimes one just has to be a bit anti-anything just to regain a sense of self and sanity.

Glad you had a good time and a good run.

[:)]




Rule -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/18/2010 9:56:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen
A vital contribution to global warming I'm sure you will all agree.

Indeed, you have been a benefactor of mankind! Heating costs will come down globally. A multitude of old people will not freeze to death. Edible vegetation will grow at a faster rate. The arctic sea will become passable for ships and trade and oil field exploration. Coral reefs will recuperate.




sappatoti -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/18/2010 11:11:26 AM)

True enough. If the weather warmed up here in Florida, thereby saving what's left of the citrus and strawberry crops, because of Lady E's rallying, we should all be grateful to her when we realize that the price of citrus and strawberry products may not go up in price as high as first expected.

Thanks Lady E!




LaTigresse -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/18/2010 12:56:06 PM)

Ah ha!!! Now I know why we are having the January thaw.




LadyEllen -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/18/2010 2:27:44 PM)

Amazing. I post about my environmentally catastrophic witless self indulgence, and there isnt a single response to condemn or lecture me, but rather four posts to thank me for my thoughtfulness in deliberately provoking global disaster.

Youre all insane. Or self confessed gear heads. Either way, its all good.

E





LiveFreeAndSpank -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/18/2010 2:37:27 PM)


"Don't worry, be happy" - Bobby McFerrin




LadyEllen -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/18/2010 2:39:31 PM)

I prefer "fuck it all and fucking no regrets" Metallica

E




MasterG2kTR -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/18/2010 7:09:10 PM)

I'm jealous....it's been some time since I had a car with enough spunk to do that......[sm=sad.gif]




LadyEllen -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/18/2010 7:36:20 PM)

excellent - I love it when people are jealous of me, however desperate that makes them seem when one considers my situation overall!

E





KMsAngel -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/18/2010 10:37:05 PM)

damn you, lady ellen for wasting that petrol, for endangering the possibility of people walking innocently, for warming one small section of the uk and thereby causing a butterfly to have a coughing fit at uluru and then causing 40C+ days for weeks on end here in adelaide!

damn you, it's ALL your fault!

stop it!!




InvisibleBlack -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/18/2010 10:50:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Amazing. I post about my environmentally catastrophic witless self indulgence, and there isnt a single response to condemn or lecture me, but rather four posts to thank me for my thoughtfulness in deliberately provoking global disaster.


Global disaster!? If we're heading for another Ice Age, as some scientsist now believe, and if the science behind anthropogenic global warming is correct - then the only option is to burn down and destroy as much rainforest as is possible while simultaneously putting out as much CO2 emissions as we can! You're an eco-pioneer!




LadyEllen -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/19/2010 4:50:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

damn you, lady ellen for wasting that petrol, for endangering the possibility of people walking innocently, for warming one small section of the uk and thereby causing a butterfly to have a coughing fit at uluru and then causing 40C+ days for weeks on end here in adelaide!

damn you, it's ALL your fault!

stop it!!


I shall go on to the end. I shall drive in France, I shall take ferries across the seas and oceans, I shall drive with over confidence and growing revs way up to Ayr, I shall defend my licence, whatever the cost may be. I shall drive down to the beaches, I shall drive across the land and be loud, I shall drive down all the streets and through the hills. I shall never buy electric!

E




KMsAngel -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/19/2010 5:10:34 AM)

fine, i'm gonna pack my bags and come visit til it turns winter.

i shall pack woolies and fuzzy socks and flannel pajamas. i shall drink all your cocoa and vodka. i shall be the houseguest from .... well.... adelaide doesn't qualify from hell, unfortunately.





LadyEllen -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/19/2010 5:49:38 AM)

You'd be most welcome m'dear. However I dont  have cocoa or vodka, and due to majority rule we all eat Whiskas cat food here, albeit under an agreed concession the two legs are permitted to cook it first.

E




pahunkboy -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/19/2010 7:10:52 AM)

I was more afraid of an ice age.

LAT is correct via tradition there is usually a thaw for Jan.

---- (laments)  Marsha, Marsha, Marsha




KMsAngel -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/19/2010 1:08:41 PM)

makes note to bring own food and drinks and no whiska's. the catmaster here will demand i leave it alone.




sappatoti -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/19/2010 4:26:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen
quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel
damn you, lady ellen for wasting that petrol, for endangering the possibility of people walking innocently, for warming one small section of the uk and thereby causing a butterfly to have a coughing fit at uluru and then causing 40C+ days for weeks on end here in adelaide!

damn you, it's ALL your fault!

stop it!!

I shall go on to the end. I shall drive in France, I shall take ferries across the seas and oceans, I shall drive with over confidence and growing revs way up to Ayr, I shall defend my licence, whatever the cost may be. I shall drive down to the beaches, I shall drive across the land and be loud, I shall drive down all the streets and through the hills. I shall never buy electric!

E

LadyE, bring your petrol breathing, CO2 spewing beast over here to the States. I know of lots of nice roads through the mountains up and down the east coast you'd love. Miles of twists, curves, and hairpin turns (some hanging out over rock cliffs several hundred feet tall) all the while taking in grand views of peaks, valleys, waterfalls, and babbling brooks.

I've not been out west but given that those mountain ranges are newer, taller, rockier, and more expansive, I'm sure the locals there would love to show you their favorite stretches of adrenaline filled fun.

In between are endless miles of wide open roadways just begging for you to mate the accelerator to the floor.

I'm sure those CMers still freezing in the plains and midwest would appreciate the warm-up.




LadyEllen -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/19/2010 4:33:58 PM)

it would cost a fortune to ship the car over though - better to fly I think and then hire something tasty. Or possibly, steal a Ferrari in New York and get chased all the way to Oregon? As long as the cops have to fuel up about the same time, it should work out.

E




sappatoti -> RE: Global Warming - 12mpg - a Vital Contribution (1/19/2010 4:38:38 PM)

For those of you who remember the story of a little red car...


My uncle has a country place
That no one knows about
He says it used to be a farm
Before the Motor Law
And on Sundays I elude the eyes
And hop the Turbine Freight
To far outside the Wire
Where my white-haired uncle waits

Jump to the ground
As the Turbo slows to cross the borderline
Run like the wind
As excitement shivers up and down my spine
Down in his barn
My uncle preserved for me an old machine
For fifty odd years
To keep it as new has been his dearest dream

I strip away the old debris
That hides a shining car
A brilliant red Barchetta
From a better vanished time
I fire up the willing engine
Responding with a roar
Tires spitting gravel
I commit my weekly crime

Wind
In my hair
Shifting and drifting
Mechanical music
Adrenaline surge...

Well-weathered leather
Hot metal and oil
The scented country air
Sunlight on chrome
The blur of the landscape
Every nerve aware

Suddenly ahead of me
Across the mountainside
A gleaming alloy air car
Shoots towards me, two lanes wide
I spin around with shrieking tires
To run the deadly race
Go screaming through the valley
As another joins the chase

Drive like the wind
Straining the limits of machine and man
Laughing out loud with fear and hope
I've got a desperate plan
At the one-lane bridge
I leave the giants stranded at the riverside
Race back to the farm
To dream with my uncle at the fireside





"Red Barchetta"
Rush






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