DarlingSavage
Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
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This is my favorite joke to tell when out and I wanted to share it. Of course, it's better told, when I can do all the voices and act out the parts, especially that of the Big Bad Wolf. I hope it makes you laugh anyway.
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Little Red Riding Hood. One day, Red found out that Grandma was sick. So, she got together a basket of goodies to take to Grandma. As she was doing this, her mother said, "Oh, Little Red Riding Hood, what do you think you're doing?"
Red told her mother, "Grandma is sick, I'm gonna take her a basket of goodies. We need to look after her. She made me this nice red hood and if something should happen to it, where am I going to get another?"
Her mother replied, "Oh, Little Red Riding Hood, don't do that! If you go to Grandma's house, you're going to have to go through the Big Wood. If you go through the Big Wood, you're going to run into the Big Bad Wolf, and you know what's going to happen if you run into him."
Red, "No, what?"
Mom, "He's going to pull up your dress, he's going to pull down your panties, and he's gonna do ya."
Red, "Oh mom, I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself! Honestly! You people sometimes!"
So, Red gets out her father's pistol and slips it into the basket of goodies, just in case. Then she heads for the door, when all of a sudden, her auntie calls out, "Oh, Little Red Riding Hood, where do you think you're going?"
Red says, "I'm going to Grandma's house, she's sick, ya know, and who else is going to do this for her? I don't see anyone else around here trying to help that ole lady out."
Auntie says, "Oh, Little Red Riding Hood, don't do that! If you go see Grandma, you're going to have to go through the Big Wood, and if you go through the Big Wood, you're going to run into the Big Bad Wolf, and if you run into him, he's gonna pull up your dress, he's gonna pull down your panties and he's gonna do ya! Then you'll be damaged goods and we won't be able to marry you off to anybody!"
Red pulls out the pistol and shows it to her auntie and says, "Don't worry about me, Auntie, I'm packin'!"
Next thing you know, Red is traipsing down the forest path as she enters the Big Wood, feeling quite pleased with herself and her mission of good will, when all of a sudden, out from behind a tree jumps the Big Bad Wolf!
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Do you know who I am little girl?"
Red, "Gasp! No, who are you?"
"I'm the Big Bad Wolf! And do you know what I'm gonna do to you, little girl? I'm gonna pull up your dress, I'm gonna pull down your panties, and I'm gonna do ya! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Red whips out that pistol and says, "Oh no you're not! You're gonna eat me, just like the book says!"
< Message edited by DarlingSavage -- 1/18/2010 12:33:44 PM >
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Little Red Riding Hood - 
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That was good thanks.
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