Slave at Munchies

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walkonme10 -> Slave at Munchies (1/18/2010 4:38:28 PM)
Does a Mistress who takes her slave to a munch or club let other Mistresses use her slave at all during the night?

stef -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/18/2010 4:59:38 PM)
Oh god, are we back to Stupid Question of the Day again? ~stef

DarkSteven -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/18/2010 5:35:21 PM)
Let me take a stab at this. A munch should be a vanilla gathering of kinksters. If a Mistress invites others to play with her slave, she's violating etiquette. If she has her slave serve drinks to others, etc., she should be all right. If she takes him to a club, then anyone who wishes to use him should contact his Mistress first. If the Mistress wants another to use him, then he gets used.

peppermint -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/18/2010 6:29:13 PM)
A munch is usually held in a restaurant or some other very public place. Do you really think families wish to be exposed to some guy, naked or dressed, crawling around on the floor and licking shoes or any other similar activities? The restaurant would kick the munch group out and tell them to never return. A club is something different. A Mistress may or may not allow others to use slave.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/18/2010 6:34:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef Oh god, are we back to Stupid Question of the Day again? ~stef Aww stef. Come on, be generous and help a newbie ;-) - LA

KITTYLECTRO -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/18/2010 6:43:36 PM)
I love the Weekend At Bernie's-esque thread title.

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/18/2010 8:28:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: walkonme10 Does a Mistress who takes her slave to a munch or club let other Mistresses use her slave at all during the night? Yes. Next thread, please.

SthrnCom4t -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/18/2010 9:47:54 PM)
I would say it depends on what the Mistress and the slave have negotiated. Whether we are in public or private, my boy is always attentive to me. Just because he is 'serving' doesn't mean his behavior is inappropriate for public viewing. He holds doors and chairs, takes my coat and helps me put it on when it's time to leave. Many times I'll tell him what I'd like to order, and he'll place the order when the waitress makes it to the table, as I am often talking to someone sitting next to us. Do I have an expectation he will be 'used' by other Mistresses? Absolutely not! He's MY submissive/slave, and no one else's. To anyone else, he's equal, unless we've had a prior discussion. There have been times when we were at private functions, where the etiquette was known beforehand, that all submissives would provide 'basic' service (offering drink refills, clearing dishes, not sitting on the couch, etc) to all Dominants. Most D/s couples I know are very protective of their dynamic, and as a Femdom, I would not want to make someone else uncomfortable. (unless the relevant parties had negotiated limits and boundaries ahead of time). Power exchange is just that....exchange. Both parties choose to partake. If you are unclear what is expected of you, ask. Asking in a respectful manner should never be inappropriate. My two cents,

LadyPact -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/19/2010 4:20:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SthrnCom4t I would say it depends on what the Mistress and the slave have negotiated. Whether we are in public or private, my boy is always attentive to me. Just because he is 'serving' doesn't mean his behavior is inappropriate for public viewing. He holds doors and chairs, takes my coat and helps me put it on when it's time to leave. Many times I'll tell him what I'd like to order, and he'll place the order when the waitress makes it to the table, as I am often talking to someone sitting next to us. Do I have an expectation he will be 'used' by other Mistresses? Absolutely not! He's MY submissive/slave, and no one else's. To anyone else, he's equal, unless we've had a prior discussion. There have been times when we were at private functions, where the etiquette was known beforehand, that all submissives would provide 'basic' service (offering drink refills, clearing dishes, not sitting on the couch, etc) to all Dominants. Most D/s couples I know are very protective of their dynamic, and as a Femdom, I would not want to make someone else uncomfortable. (unless the relevant parties had negotiated limits and boundaries ahead of time). Power exchange is just that....exchange. Both parties choose to partake. If you are unclear what is expected of you, ask. Asking in a respectful manner should never be inappropriate. My two cents, This is very much My feeling on it as well. It ties in very well to the other thread that is running right now started by LadyA. The door opening, drink filling, standard routine within our dynamic is not imposing our kink on anyone at a local munch. I don't permit clip to be serving others in any capacity unless it is the order of the day for the event. Guests in My home are the exception for this. If it is not the standard that all subs will serve all Dominants, I have no qualms in telling someone that the collar on clip's neck isn't there because it's a fashion statement (yes, I've done that in public settings). In turn, I do not expect other Dominant's submissives to serve Me. If their Dominant offers their services to Me, I will graciously accept. Sorry it wasn't the wank fodder that the OP was obviously looking for.

AquaticSub -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/19/2010 4:24:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: walkonme10 Does a Mistress who takes her slave to a munch or club let other Mistresses use her slave at all during the night? Some mistresses will. Others won't. If you want to be shared, find a mistress who is into that.

chamberqueen -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/19/2010 9:45:23 AM)
It is best to talk with your Mistress in advance. As a rule it is always good to be respectful of other Dominants but that does not necessarily mean serving them in any way. I have also found that at the different munches I have attended that different styles of address were preferred. At some there was higher etiquette, and if a submissive was introduced to a Dominant they would then address them as Sir or Ma'am and typically speak only after being spoken to. In others the talk was freeflowing and no titles were used. Again, this should be discussed in advance with your Mistress. No one has the right to touch you unless given specific permission by your Mistress. That has happened at some munches where an overly exuberant Dom has embraced or fondled someone new. In some cases they mean no harm yet it can be very disconcerting, especially to a new attender. Ask your Mistress how to handle it if someone touches you inappropriately. Chances are that she will have you report the act directly to her and she will handle it.

thetammyjo -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/19/2010 1:32:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Let me take a stab at this. A munch should be a vanilla gathering of kinksters. If a Mistress invites others to play with her slave, she's violating etiquette. If she has her slave serve drinks to others, etc., she should be all right. If she takes him to a club, then anyone who wishes to use him should contact his Mistress first. If the Mistress wants another to use him, then he gets used. Exactly. A Munch is a public event designed to let kinky folks meet and chat without the expectations of playing or being in scene unless that is a private between two people. When my submissives or slaves have attended munches with me, they may pay more attention to me but they are there to socialize as an equal with everyone else. Call me old-fashioned but I don't like the "munches" that include play time or expectations of scene time in them. I think they should stay as their were first made -- vanilla get togethers -- and other events like workshops, discussion groups, and play parties should be were any kink happens.

everglade -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/19/2010 2:31:13 PM)
Heck, my owner had me serving her co workers (women) at the company Christmas party. The cash bar was in a smoke infested area in a whole different building her coworkers where complaining about it. (as was I) My wife said no problem, my husband will be happy to get your drinks. And so it was. Funny how such mundane chores or tasks can be energized by a good Domme. And her coworkers loved the whole thing too. I've seen subs at munches do similar server type things but, nothing will happen there that will be over your personal limits. Go and enjoy!

MsDDom -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/20/2010 11:07:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: walkonme10 Does a Mistress who takes her slave to a munch or club let other Mistresses use her slave at all during the night? ...yes, he get the food, drinks, and then pays all the checks of the Mistresses. [:D] Do u want to go to munches so u can get used by multiples? Do u like the general public seeing u being used??

everglade -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/20/2010 3:29:05 PM)
<yes, he get the food, drinks, and then pays all the checks of the Mistresses.> Wow, not at any of the 25 or so assorted munches I've been too! Now, maybe if he really wanted to pay for a certain Mistress's check he might ask if that's okay with her but, only if he wants. Really, munches are totally vanilla it's a friendly way to meet like minded folks. Don't be surprised that the subject of kink might not even come up at one. Don't be intimidated. Just be yourself and meet others in real life, it's fine. Thinking the community would be a lot bigger with more friendly promoters and less sarcasicm directed at newbie questions!

sunshinemiss -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/20/2010 5:49:33 PM)
This guy is new, but not really NEW..."We know our chicken."

WyldHrt -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/20/2010 5:55:12 PM)
quote: Thinking the community would be a lot bigger with more friendly promoters and less sarcasicm directed at newbie questions! Welcome to the forums, Everglade! [:)] When you see a "newbie" or other person getting snarked at, it is often because they have said something fairly offensive in another thread. A check of the posting history might clear things up for you, if the posts weren't pulled by the mods.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/20/2010 6:09:20 PM)
On Niteflirt, when a gentleman sends me such a question I just tell him, "call Me and we'll talk about it." If he insists on details, I assume he wants a free wank and send him his answer. (in a pay per view email...[;)])

LadyPact -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/20/2010 7:00:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: everglade Thinking the community would be a lot bigger with more friendly promoters and less sarcasicm directed at newbie questions! If it were a newbie question, rather than a wanker question, that might be the case. When an OP is trying to get fantasy fodder, we're not quite as receptive. (Several of us here can also copy/paste the rude, nasty, and plain unacceptable emails this particular OP has sent some of the Dominant women here. Both on this screen name and his prior one.)

MsDDom -> RE: Slave at Munchies (1/20/2010 9:11:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: everglade <yes, he get the food, drinks, and then pays all the checks of the Mistresses.> Wow, not at any of the 25 or so assorted munches I've been too! Now, maybe if he really wanted to pay for a certain Mistress's check he might ask if that's okay with her but, only if he wants. Really, munches are totally vanilla it's a friendly way to meet like minded folks. Don't be surprised that the subject of kink might not even come up at one. Don't be intimidated. Just be yourself and meet others in real life, it's fine. Thinking the community would be a lot bigger with more friendly promoters and less sarcasicm directed at newbie questions! ...over thine head... ...there are some who don't ask questions for the sake of "being new". As most have posted that munches are vanilla, there as SOME people who go to munches with THEIR OWN agenda (i.e. the hope of being used by other Mistresses). That is why some groups are closed. ...so, toast to ur "25 or so assorted munches" and be glad ur group(s) haven't be outed (or banned) b/c of some numskull w/ their bdsm fantasy in a public/vanilla place.

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