RE: Meeting

RE: Meeting (Full Version)

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Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Meeting (1/20/2010 4:54:49 PM)
I feel comfortable with somebody without Red Flags and Gee.. actually get a sense they are really real. Normally includes knowing their name and basic stuff, even talking on the phone. Other than that, Taking a Shower, Brushing Teeth, Shave, Wearing presentable clothing, A Quick Spin through the car wash or not. You know the basic kind of stuff you would do when meeting anybody for the first time. Not really that big of a deal. Mind you, I generally don't cut loose with detailed directions to my house. I've very selective about who does or does not know where I live, and this applies to people in the REAL TIME. So yeah... Personally, I'm uncomfortable meeting anybody I know nothing about. I don't need to know every little detail about them either. Just a reasonable amount of information. If it's somebody I've been interacting with for say a year or two, I would not have a problem meeting them as long as I liked them. If it's somebody I just meet a week ago, and knew nothing about, and they were being extremely secretive, well... that was be a little strange. I really don't meet many people from online though. There are some message board users I would not think twice about meeting though, because I've been reading things they've posted on here for a long time now. I've more less established them to be pretty honest, sane and well.. that no drama or trouble would result from it.

DFW4All -> RE: Meeting (1/20/2010 5:29:09 PM)
1. meet in a public place for safety. Women especially should appreciate this. A dominant male will hopefully be savvy enough to suggest that. Coffee shops or your local Starbucks work. It allows you to scale the time to fit the dynamic. 2. be puctual 3. be well groomed and appropriately dressed. This means both parties. 3. let someone else know where you are going and arrange a safe call 4. avoid playing on the first meeting unless a hook up is just what you are there for obviously. 5. be sure to take your cell for communications. Expect the other party to have one as well for obvious reasons. Have fun.

Rhodes85 -> RE: Meeting (1/20/2010 5:37:52 PM)
quote: Safe calls are nice in theory, but they really don't provide you with any guarantee of security or safety whatsoever, if you really stop and think about it. I agree. Even if you did manage to get a call off to someone - even if it was the cops, realistically if the person was going to do anything to you, he would be able to do so long before help arrived. In short I wouldn't put any faith in a safety call actually saving you. quote: You can't always trust your gut. Dangerous people are usually NOT the weird ones who make your hair stand up. I couldn't agree more. Ever hear that saying 'its the quiet ones you have to watch out for?' Psychopaths and serial killers rarely fit the tattooed, crazy looking nutjob that people expect such a person to look like. Most of them you'd pass on the street or have a conversation with and never have any idea what they really were. Just because a person seems like the nicest person you've ever met does not mean they are. Just something to keep in mind.

DomImus -> RE: Meeting (1/20/2010 6:41:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 Prior to the man, I always met in a hotel room. Never knew more than their first name and never told anyone where I was. Not highly recommended. I never had any safety problems with this method, but it was only a matter of time until I did. People get hurt playing fast and loose and people get hurt after having crossed all the T's and dotting all the I's. While I generally am a believer of the law of averages in these instances I feel that the likelihood of being hurt is directly proportional to the intention of the other party to hurt you. It may not happen at or outside the Starbucks at the first meet but it's going to happen eventually if that is their intent. Conversely, it won't happen in a thousand first name only hotel room meets if none of those thousand are intent on hurting you. No matter how careful you are eventually you will put yourself in a compromising position with that person and if they intend to hurt you they will. The law of averages dictates that if you meet enough people in this manner sooner or later you will meet one that wants to hurt you and where and how you met them will be irrelevant.

SailingBum -> RE: Meeting (1/20/2010 9:04:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly quote: Those of you who want to make assumptions about my nature... (Especially those of you who once wanted to spend more time talking to me and are now taking cheap shots at me for not oblidging...) Have at it. This thread is all yours. :O) SailingBum chase off another one? yep dat be me... Actually I get quite a few emails that will read a thread just cuz i posted a comment<go figure>. My fans typical email reads like ... "I enjoi your wit and tell it like it is style". And the not so nice mail ..I refer them to my tag line. which basically say Like I give a flying fling that what I type bothers YOU... Like i've said countless times on the boards. I am here strictly for my entertainment purpose. Any Questions??? BadOne

SailingBum -> RE: Meeting (1/20/2010 9:08:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Oh, Come on!!! Shit chick, this isn't rocket science. I read your profile. You seem to have an idea of what you want. Now you put things into action. People meet all over this wonderful wide world of sports. You meet at church, the supermarket, or while doing some charitable work for the D.S.R.A. yep yep yeps BadOne

sexyred1 -> RE: Meeting (1/20/2010 9:14:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 OP, seriously? If you actually need someone to tell you NOT to go to a hotel room or someone's home or not get proof of name and phone number and photo no matter how fab the fantasy seems....... Then you are not ready to be a functioning adult. Yes, clearly that's what I was getting at in my question... Not looking for good suggestions on how to set up a safe call or anything. Thank God you're here to tell me what an idiot I am for asking about precautions and such! You've added so much to the discussion. Listen, hon. I answered your question very clearly on post #8. I gave you advice and yet you kept asking for more, when there is no more, only common sense. I only came back with the above reply because some other posters were telling you that they met people in hotel rooms, didn't now their names, spent days together with no info, blah blah blah. I decided that if you are indeed a 29 year old woman living in NEW YORK CITY, and you have to ask what to do to meet someone, whether vanilla or not, then you might not be ready to venture out in the world of online dating. I mean, seriously, I grew up in NJ and NYC and by age 10 I knew about managing personal safety issues. But go ahead and be insulted if you want; it's your life. I stand by my statement, if you think there is more trust inherent in this particular world of BDSM than in general life, you are mistaken. I think it is interesting that you are getting so bent out of shape when you don't like the answers. Gosh darn, what are you going to do when faced with some really tough situation?

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