Read messages but No responses (Full Version)

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EncasedForever -> Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 1:43:26 PM)

I've been getting my last few messages read by Dommes whom I wrote to but no response. They don't delete them either so that must mean something like they're busy or too many replies right?

Mind you, I'm not disrespectful in any of my messages so I know that's not the problem. I try to be as polite and sincere as I possibly can be.

I usually wait like a day or so after they read the message and don't do delete or respond to it. Then I write a follow up kindly stating I see u read my message but haven't responded, I trust u may be very busy and I understand, just wanted to remind you I'm still interested. Hope to hear from you soon.... Something along those lines. But even that kind of message also gets read with no response.

Would it be offensive if, when writing to someone here for the 1st time, if I put some kind of polite disclaimer in the beginning that kindly says if for whatever reason you don't want to communicate with me, please block and ignore me so that would save both of us a lot of time and trouble. Would something like this work?



mnottertail -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 1:45:12 PM)

Kinda hard to talk to a rubber suit, thats just off the top of my head.


Ron(ne)



EncasedForever -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 1:51:39 PM)

Mnotter,

1. I don't put my pic on my profile to avoid people whom I know (co workers as an example) to accidentally stumble across it, if you can understand. So I usually send my pic privately but only if the person is interested. I state all of this in my profile.

2. I also state in each one of my messages what I just stated in number one above.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 1:53:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EncasedForever

Would it be offensive if, when writing to someone here for the 1st time, if I put some kind of polite disclaimer in the beginning that kindly says if for whatever reason you don't want to communicate with me, please block and ignore me so that would save both of us a lot of time and trouble. Would something like this work?


Not offensive, but probably a bit irritating. I think I would take it as a signal of a negative attitude. It would put me off.



EncasedForever -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 1:57:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: EncasedForever

Would it be offensive if, when writing to someone here for the 1st time, if I put some kind of polite disclaimer in the beginning that kindly says if for whatever reason you don't want to communicate with me, please block and ignore me so that would save both of us a lot of time and trouble. Would something like this work?


Not offensive, but probably a bit irritating. I think I would take it as a signal of a negative attitude. It would put me off.




domiguy -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 1:58:06 PM)

The whole encased like a bratwurst thingy might throw some folks off.  Not quite a cock shot but maybe a bit too forceful right from the get.

Perhaps maybe your avatar should show a pic of a rainbow.  Girls like rainbows.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 1:58:40 PM)

I suggest you send one or two nilla pics with each introductory letter you write.  Be sure at least one pic is that of your face.

I have not looked at your profile, but your username and main photo are exxx-tremely kink-focused.  And specialty-kink focused.  Do you, for example, enjoy smooching?  (This is a serious question, no snark.)  Do you like holding hands and feeding bread to the ducks in the park?  Do you enjoy doing ANYTHING besides being encased forever?

If the answer to those questions is YES, you might consider starting a new profile, that is less lasered into that one solitary desire. If the answer to those questions in NO, you are going to find an awful lot of people not interested, because they have to be interested in both you and totally lusting after that one kink.

Ultimately, are you in control of your desires, or are your desires in control of you?



EncasedForever -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 2:00:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: EncasedForever

Would it be offensive if, when writing to someone here for the 1st time, if I put some kind of polite disclaimer in the beginning that kindly says if for whatever reason you don't want to communicate with me, please block and ignore me so that would save both of us a lot of time and trouble. Would something like this work?


Not offensive, but probably a bit irritating. I think I would take it as a signal of a negative attitude. It would put me off.




GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 2:01:03 PM)

Op:
were you not on before and told all this already..???



EncasedForever -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 2:02:23 PM)

Would you all recommend that I simply attach my face pic to every private message I send?



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 2:06:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EncasedForever

Would you all recommend that I simply attach my face pic to every private message I send?


Yes-and maybe switch out the rubber one for a shot of the back of your head, or your torso or something a bit less heeby-jeebyish, if you don't want to show your face? That pic is going to be the first one the person you message sees, after all.

By the way if you meant to write something as a reply to what I wrote earlier, I can't see it-all I can see in your posts is the quote box.



domiguy -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 2:09:40 PM)

This is rare I am actually going to give you some good advice.

You are but one in a zillion lil' male subbies bobbing around in the jetsam and floatsam which makes up your side of CM.

My best advice to you is to participate on the forums and try and seperate yourself from the masses. You will ultimately fail, but hopefully you will provide us with some good posts and laughs along the way.

It is actually the best that we all can hope for.



myotherself -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 2:19:39 PM)

...although I'm not a Domme, I'd be a bit squicked by the pic.

Not that it's a bad pic, per se, but I keep getting images of the skin suit from Silence of the Lambs running through my head. Not the ideal first impression...[8|]



LaTigresse -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 2:20:46 PM)

Be sure you are actually READING the profile of the women you email! Let them know this in the email you send.

If the profile is, in any way, incompatible with your realistic expectations, do NOT email her!!



LadyPact -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 2:37:45 PM)

I concur with everything said thus far.

For starters, no answer IS an answer.  Writing someone back within a day of them reading your message is more like stalking/hounding someone.  If they want to reply, they will in their own due time.

Next, if you appear to be solely kink focused, you are less likely to have success.  This goes for both your screen name and your pic. 

Also, participate in the forums.  On a very serious note, those who participate in the forums have a higher likelihood of receiving responses.  Those who are mostly 'on the other side' of CM don't get as many replies to 'cold call' mails as the forum participants do.  There are some of us who are more likely to respond to an email if we recognize your name from the forums.





EncasedForever -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 2:59:42 PM)

Okay ladies and gentlemen, I have changed my pic and the writing in my profile. Let me know what you think :)



RumpusParable -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 3:48:13 PM)

Except for some typos that you should tidy, it doesn't look to bad!



SL4V3M4YB3 -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 3:55:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EncasedForever
Okay ladies and gentlemen, I have changed my pic and the writing in my profile. Let me know what you think :)

Now you'll only find people that suit the people who responded to this thread and who knows what sick things those people are into?

Nobody like waterfalls, put the picture with the rubber suit thing back I didn't see it in time!

There once was a guy called Stephen who liked to inform people how to increase their pulling power by writing a profile as he did. Unfortunately now a bunch of women think they are in a relationship with someone like Stephen when in reality they are probably dating someone akin to Norman Bates.

Also they say, no answer is an answer. I often hear that here.



QueenRah -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 4:41:30 PM)

While I believe domi's suggestion of a rainbow pic was tongue-in-cheek, and I'm wondering if your adoption of it isn't also, it is a nice change from a full-on fetish shot. Not sure it's going to work so well, though.

As a Domigal, I can give you an idea of what I like to see in a preliminary contact: someone who fits into, at least, my basic criteria - living within a reasonable distance; single; and able to read my profile and provide ample proof he's read it, not just the first line. He needs to show some understanding of what it is I'm seeking and only contact me, if he thinks we may have some commonality (similar levels of relative morality, spirituality, sense of humor, interests both mundane and alternative).

What I don't like to see is what so many other Ladies reject, as well: someone so focused on his kink that no woman is anything more than the much-mentioned and hated "kink delivery device." What the general consensus seems to be is that we female people are seeking relationship first and foremost. And, to paraphrase someone from another thread, we dominant ladies want to be the princesses/Queens/Goddesses in the partnership.

Also, cut-and-paste is an absolute no-no. Every girl wants to feel special. Regardless of how many people you contact, make it fresh, from scratch, every time.

So, good luck to you and to the ladies you contact!




SthrnCom4t -> RE: Read messages but No responses (1/19/2010 5:43:24 PM)

I got here after the fetish pic got pulled, but from other comments, I can't say I'm sorry.

Personally, I like a pic that tells me something about the person. The waterfall/rainbow IS better than a strictly 'THIS IS MY KINK" picture. If it's possible, put up a pic that eludes to one of your passions. Cute puppies and kittens can generally be considered 'chick magnets'.

I like a personalized email, where I can tell without question, that the writer took the time to read my profile. With that would come someone who fits within the criteria I'm taken the time to list. I'm in Colorado....if you're from NJ/NY/PA etc, likely you aren't going to provide very consistent domestic service.

You enjoy creative writing and the arts....that's a good start. What's your book about? What do you aspire to? What do you bring to a power exchange relationship? Be real about this part. Claiming to be 'intelligent, witty, good-humored, etc' are pretty subjective. Maybe your friends think these things of you, but I'm not your friend yet. Trust me, a Dominant female is going to make her own judgment call on whether or not you meet HER criteria for such claims. Sharing your opinion of yourself could be a waste of time, unless you include a referencing tidbit.

There is no question that submission is inspired, so what could you be inspired to do? Domestic service, fixing her car, cooking wonderful meals, or giving her access to your 5000 movie DVDs? What would make you a good partner?

Lastly, if she doesn't answer you, she wasn't interested, was too busy, etc. If you need an answer within 48 hours, and you aren't getting it, then in Her way, she's conveying that you aren't compatible. For her own reasons, or she's not capable of meeting your need for an answer in a certain time frame.

A better way of meeting people with a common interest is to get out from behind your computer, and go to a local much or BDSM event. Usually you can find a yahoo announcement list pertaining to events in your area.

Good luck,





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