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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:57:26 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

Oh boy. My mom is only 4'10" in height, but she's hell on heels.

And heels, if you've got good balence, are great for kicking...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 21

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:59:59 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
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quote:

how far you take to protecting the submissive

You need to look up the meaning of "protective" and "protecting". Having said that, I do not frequent those kinds of neighbourhoods, and if you are that sensitive, you probably shouldn't either. Maybe you shouldn't even be living in Brum..

(in reply to goober)

Post #: 22

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 9:01:16 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

What would you do if someone made a snide remark about your mother or child while they were next to you?

The very same thing. That person is just looking for a confrontation, and by giving him one, he wins. I would, however, talk to my child about stupid people.....

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Post #: 23

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 9:05:52 AM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

What would you do if someone made a snide remark about your mother or child while they were next to you?

My mother is very well able to take care of herself. She is far more confrontational than I am, and has been known to get apologies from biker gangs for being rude.

As for a child, its a great time to teach them that manners are important and how stupid one can look making ugly remarks about someone you dont know. Then, when you and the child both laugh at the other person, not only do they not get what they DID want, they get more of the same reactions that probably put them in that mood to begin with. I find it hard to take an adult that would stoop to insulting a child seriously.

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(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 24

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 9:15:47 AM

Drifa

Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
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I am an adult, and so is my Lady. If someone hauls off and hits me in public, they're liable to have both of us clobber them. But words? STicks and stones, sticks and stones.

Mouthy obnoxious people are to be ignored. If they are persistent, whip out the cell phone, call 911, and have them arrested for verbal assault or disturbing the peace or whatever. Otherwise, ignore and keep walking. Because honestly, WTF difference does it make what some low-life or stupid drunk thinks or says?

If someone in your family or circle of friends says something hurtful, that might call for someone to have a discussion with them about it. I don't need my Lady to do this for me, I am quite good at it myself. Tell them what they said, how you felt about it, and what you want them to do different in the future. If they won't make amends, drop them like a freakin' hot potato, life is too short to put up with people who mistreat you.

(in reply to goober)

Post #: 25

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 9:15:57 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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I dson't have the time to care about what people I don't know, care about, or have any type of investment in think about me or someone that I might be with.

Words mean very little. If someone has stepped over the line and is now physically threatening someone that is an entirely different situation.

Why should I care or you care about what some stranger thinks? By making the initial comment they have already proven they are a complete asshole. By confronting them what would you ever hope to achieve? You think they care that they are being impolite? That after a lengthy conversation they will suddenly realize the error of their ways and repent?

All that would probably ensue would be some sort of physical altercation and folks, lets face facts, I am far too pretty for prison.

You want me to defend your honor? There is a spaceship leaving for Gor in the next half hour, be on it.

_____________________________

(in reply to VampiresLair)

Post #: 26

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 9:17:50 AM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: goober

So, you're out on a friday night with him / her, walking to a venue, in clubwear, fetish, smart vanilla, whatever, and someone walking past on a busy highstreet seems to make a passing snarky remark about your submissive and continues walking on. What do you do?

Go chase them down and force an explanation out of them? Shout abuse at them back? Laugh it off and keep on walking? Something else?

How about if this person is up infront of you / them - maybe at a taxi rank, and saying something hurtful towards the submissive, maybe drunk? As the Dom/me What would you do then?

submissives - what would you'd prefer to happen, or what would you do?

I'd be interested to hear views as to how far you take to protecting the submissive... I think I know the two types of answers there will be, but I'll keep schtum for now!

I hardly feel that's a case of "protecting".... it's not as though they were in any danger. We'd just laugh it off and keep walking. Normally I get way more remarks and looks than him, though.

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(in reply to goober)

Post #: 27

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 9:19:01 AM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

What would you do if someone made a snide remark about your mother or child while they were next to you?

The very same thing. That person is just looking for a confrontation, and by giving him one, he wins.

Bingo.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 28

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 9:24:16 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

What "protection" do you need from a snarky comment made by someone you will likely never see again? Nothing is gained by engaging into a confrontation with a random idiot. Laugh and move along.

~stef

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(in reply to goober)

Post #: 29

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 9:41:01 AM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

I was once sexually assaulted by a group of four guys as my (very manly, very tall, very macho) boyfriend and I were walking home from a party, in the middle of the city. They came from behind and one of them stuck his entire arm right between my legs, all the way up. Of course, verbal abuse, insults and all that shit... it was frightening, humiliating, and gross.

My very manly, very tall, very macho boyfriend pretended he hadn't seen anything and started admonishing me for being too loud when I screamed and cursed at the fuckers who had done that to me. I never respected him again.

Should he have intervened? I guess it would have been too late: the act had been committed. But the fact that he chose to play blind and ignorant instead of putting his ass on the line for me demonstrated to me that he was a fucking coward. And I said "bye bye".

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Post #: 30

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 9:46:29 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Should he have intervened? I guess it would have been too late: the act had been committed. But the fact that he chose to play blind and ignorant instead of putting his ass on the line for me demonstrated to me that he was a fucking coward. And I said "bye bye".

That is a situation where I would think someone should respond. They touched you - physical contact was made. A situation was already created - it wouldn't be me or Val creating one by responding. Now, my response is always to defuse the situation and not to put anyone's "ass on the line". That's the last resort.

In a situation where we were being followed, I would expect Val to notice quickly, alert me to the situation (if I haven't noticed already - unlikely), to put his arm around me and for us to walk faster, for him to guide me into a shop or place of business that is still open to remove ourselves from the situation.

If we could not remove ourselves, could not make a quick retreat, if our backs were against the wall... than yes, I do expect him to fight. With me by his side and us defending each other.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/20/2010 9:48:58 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kittinSol)

Post #: 31

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 9:46:53 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5173
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Who cares about what some stupid stranger says about someone they do not know? I have a feeling we'd all continue to walk down the street laughing and giggling about the idiot.

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 32

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 9:48:49 AM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

I don't like physical or verbal confrontations with strangers either, but yeah, in that particular instance, I would have loved to have seen him defend me and tackle those bastards - he could have taken them on. Cowardice is worse than anything.

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Post #: 33

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 9:53:11 AM

HisSub1213

Posts: 219
Joined: 11/3/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

We'd most likely ignore it. What is the point in bothering with some stranger who is so unhappy that they have to snark passing people on the street? At best it's a waste of our time and at worst they may have a firearm.

I agree with this. I'm a Black Belt in Taekwondo and one of the things drilled into every student's head is to avoid an incident if possible. I got the same basic lesson drilled into me when I got my permit to carry, "Don't put your self in dangerous situations just because..."

I feel it not only a waste of my time and energy to respond, but I look at it this way, I live in a fairly large city. What are the chances that I'm ever going to run across this person again?

I would encourage anyone I might be with to do take the same attitude as any kind of response would likely just escalate things and someone could either end up injured (or worse) or in jail.

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HisSub1213

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. (Elbert Hubbard)

Fear is the mother of morality. (Friedrich Nietzsche)

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 34

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 10:02:50 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

Hmmm, as I don't need protection from random stranger's insults, he wouldn't offer any.....lol

I can't remember ever being insulted by a stranger.....if I have been it must be way back in the mists of time or I've forgotten.

If there ever was any REAL threat to me personally, he'd step in, but the scenarios mentioned aren't in the least. They'd be funny.

agirl

(in reply to goober)

Post #: 35

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 10:21:01 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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You don't argue with a drunk and you don't let two bull's with ego, go into protective/defense mode over slight things. Slight would mean... anything you can walk away from.

I did a lot of time in bar's and living in rough neighborhoods and I know when to step up and when to walk away. One time is when a man wants a fight and will do or say anything to get it. When I have been insulted and had a man around... the rule was... let me handle it and you only step in if I ask you to. If he stepped in and didn't let me handle it... he was in trouble. For the most part... my men would sit back and laugh while I gave someone what was what for reaching out and grabbing my ass or boob when serving them or passing them. Never was there a fight and most often, something comical in the situation once I got done with it.

Words are just words. Anyone inflamed by words... is simply not for me. My days of coming between bull's are over and no one is bringing that shit back to my life! lol

As for real protection... either of us better go down dead protecting the other... submissive or dominant. But that is in life and death situations... not situations created by easy offense or stupidity.

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(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 36

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 10:52:25 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Words from strangers do not constitute danger, so there's nothing I'd need to do to "protect" her so long as the events stayed in the irrelevantly verbal realm. And on the odd occasion where I felt the comments might have in any way actually grazed her in any hurtful self-esteem sort of way, I'd make a playful, passing, positive comment at her, checking to make sure she remembers whose assessment of her is the important one.

_____________________________

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I know they're all insane
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I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 37

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 10:58:28 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

Ok, so heres a story, I met this dominant dude, from here actually oh he was so hot honestly hottest bloke ive ever dated, wait now where was I. Thats right we went out, I dressed up, I had recently had my hair done, I wore my favoritest corset and black tutu, I looked simply lush.

I was walking down the street and this fat, spotty ginger kid (I have nothing against ginger kids, honestly, I dye my own hair red on occasion, Im just trying to paint a picture) shouts to his mate 'god look at the state of that', my initial response was to hit him with my handbag, I didnt of course, I said to the dude I was with something about what a cock the guy was, and he just kept walking, I didn't want him to protect me or anything I just wanted him to grab my hand or something, as it was I felt a bit foolish and cried.

I generally dont need protecting, I just need to know people are on my side.

Another story is about how responded, I was with this couple, and the girl was not very well, pale and drawn, she got some sniggers and pointed fingers so I grabbed her and gave her a massive snog, I didn't need to say anything to people to make her feel better, and as we both rather enjoyed winding stranger up the gaping mouths after was far more satisfying than me shouting fuck off at them would have been

< Message edited by LillyoftheVally -- 1/20/2010 10:59:03 AM >

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Post #: 38

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 11:04:49 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
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quote:

ORIGINAL: goober

I'd be interested to hear views as to how far you take to protecting the submissive... I think I know the two types of answers there will be, but I'll keep schtum for now!

Millions of people vanish each year... what's one more?

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Post #: 39

RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 12:01:03 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
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There are no one wayism correct or best answer to this questions. For me, personally it all depends upon the situation, circumstances, mood, vibe and etc (add list of undefined variables) of the moment. There are many ways to deal with many things and it all depends.

(in reply to goober)

Post #: 40

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