Submotive -> RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! (3/24/2006 8:58:41 AM)
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ORIGINAL: SBayouLady Please allow me to explain myself,,, A few months ago I gave my 100 %submission to a Master,,only to have it given back , as he tells me I am not the slave that he wants,, but that I could be. I also found out he was lieing to me. yes I had to lie to him to find out he was lieing to me... I just didnt want it to be true. I had to find out. But 2 wrongs do not make a right. But a few days ago he contacted me and he wants another session with me. This man touched my soul a place no other has ever. I would have done anything for him.When he left me I felt crushed.. I was crushed. I told him NO... that I did not want to get hurt again,,,, but it took all that I had to tell him no. It hurt to tell him no.He told me he holds a key to a place with in me no other will ever open,,,and Iam SOOO scared he is right. How do I get that back,,,, is he right? Dont I have the power to take that key from him.... and if I do why does it hurt so bad. I know my answer to his question MUSt stay as NO... but why does it hurt like this. SBayouLady i had this happen, although i didn't lie to find out He was lieing. But, i was very crushed. It took quite awhile to get over Him and the feeling that no one would ever touch in me what He did. But, low and behold Someone has and, in retrospect, what the betrayer touched in me was nothing compared to what i have now. Time does heal all wounds if W/we let it. I look back on the "liar" now and say to myself "my god, what was i thinking?" Self deceipt is the one thing to watch out for. It takes a lot of self deceipt to continue in something that's not good for me.
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