Profile suggestions

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babygurlangel -> Profile suggestions (1/20/2010 6:23:27 PM)
I was wondering if I could get some opinions on my profile, I have a hard time deciding on what I should include and what I shouldn't. I would be very thankful if you all could look at it and give me some suggestions. Thanks.

mc1234 -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2010 6:31:05 PM)
You may want to focus more on the positives than on negatives. Instead of 'don't' 'can't' and 'won't' ... try "I enjoy", "my hobbies are" or "I'd love to find" to open your profile. What do you offer? Why are you interesting?

AnimusRex -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2010 8:18:43 PM)
And if the "not interested in poly" were changed to "very interested in poly" it would be perfect.

juliaoceania -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2010 8:42:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mc1234 You may want to focus more on the positives than on negatives. Instead of 'don't' 'can't' and 'won't' ... try "I enjoy", "my hobbies are" or "I'd love to find" to open your profile. What do you offer? Why are you interesting? I would agree with this, and add, concentrate on what you want in a mate, not what you do not want. You want someone your own age, claim that. You want someone that will love you the way you are, claim that too... I almost feel as though you are apologizing for yourself in there.. And your finances are nobody's business unless they are paying your bills...

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2010 8:44:01 PM)
Accentuate the positive. Your profile sounds extremely negative. Here is something from the beginning of your profile: "I am divorced.... I am currently not employed, I am looking for work just hard to in this economy. I would like to meet someone that is local to me as that way I don't have to worry about getting the gas up to go see them" That's a lot of very heavy negative info to drop right out of the gate. Why is it important to say that you are divorced so early in your profile? (In fact, why do you need to mention it at all? You are available, and that's all that matters). The unemployment thing might be something that you don't share until after you've had an initial conversation with someone as well. Your headline says "Not interested in poly". That seemed like an odd thing to use for your headline. To me, when i read someone's headline, i assume it is going to summarize the MOST important thing this person wants us to know about them. Shouldn't you focus on something that you DO want, rather than something that you don't want? Lastly, why do you bother mentioning that you were on here before but lost the info? That seems to be rather unimportant, but it is one of the first things that you tell the reader. i like the pictures. You have a smile in the main one and look friendly and inviting. Hope that helps.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2010 8:53:58 PM)
Once you do settle on what to write, another major improvement would be structural. Your profile is a very difficult read. Your punctuation, spacing and sentence structure make it harder to read and grasp on the first go through. As everyone else said, you are too negative. Negativity is not appealing. Rather than say you want someone local so you dont have to worry about getting up the gas, simply say you prefer not to travel. AS Roch says, get rid of the "I had a profile before but lost it" info on the top. No one cares, really, unless you are trying to find people who knew you back then. And take the headline of NOT INTO POLY away. Many people will not even read past it. You make it sound like you are a very high maintenance submissive, with very little to offer, since you do not mention a single thing about what you want to give. Your profile reads me, me, me and no offers for anyone else. If you would like a hand with the rewrite, feel free to drop me a line. DV

Elizabeth666 -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/21/2010 2:32:53 AM)
I agree with the replies above, but I would also add in that maybe you should break it up a bit more. The first part of your profile is really long, looks almost like a run on sentence. Break it into more paragraphs.

DarkSteven -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/21/2010 6:10:00 AM)
You specify that you're willing to relocate. But your profile text says that you want local only.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/21/2010 6:20:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven You specify that you're willing to relocate. But your profile text says that you want local only. It says a bit further down that if people are willing to travel to her then that's ok too.

babygurlangel -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/22/2010 2:39:53 PM)
I am willing to relocate but for the right person if they can meet me locally before we decide to be together or not is why I say local.. I know there isn't many people that are kinky in my neck of the woods so I have to be open and flexible. I am gonna go put some changes into my profile and see if that works better. I do appreciate all the help you all have given me. Thank you very much.

stella41b -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/22/2010 3:50:27 PM)
You've probably updated your profile taking such wonderful advice offered by the above posters. I just wanted to add that I love your profile photo, it's clear, and it's one of the best expressions on a photo I have seen for some time. I especially like the way it captured your eyes.

babygurlangel -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/22/2010 6:22:52 PM)
Thank you Stella... it was taken with a cell phone.. beleive it or not lol.

mc1234 -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/22/2010 6:29:33 PM)
The new profile looks great, babygurlangel! [:)]

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/22/2010 7:52:16 PM)
Babygurlangel, i just checked out the changes in your profile. Much better. This version is much more positive. Good luck in your search.

babygurlangel -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/22/2010 10:29:20 PM)
Thank you all very much I still felt like it might be missing something.. but I am glad its better.

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