scene gossip

scene gossip (Full Version)

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allthatjaz -> scene gossip (1/22/2010 8:33:17 AM)
There will always be gossips amongst us but what about on scene gossips? The problem with on scene gossip is it tends to go round like wild fire and often end up on the very lap of the person that is being gossiped about! Now we all listen to gossip to a certain extent but much of it is harmless and water off a ducks back Not all though because malicious gossip starts rumors that stick like a limpet to a rock and when that malicious gossip is about a scene person it can do untold damage to what perhaps was an impeccable reputation. There is an instance that comes to mind from a recent interaction with a scene person. She told me that a particular Dominant she has heard about is dangerous and she told me a story to go with it. She was told by a friend of hers that she absolutely trusts. Now I know this guy and I know about the story thats been floating around the scene for years. The story is actually bullshit and has been proven to be so and yet people are still being told, people are still whispering and people are still forming opinions. My question is; How much notice would you take of gossip? Would you form an opinion of someone based on what another person tells you? I think that question is particularly relevant to submissives and Dom/Dommes Would you continue to tell other people the same gossip

onlyfreelycaged -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 8:45:03 AM)
For me, it depends on who says it, and who's saying it about them, and what that person has to gain, as well as what I know about a person. if everyone has mostly the same story, I'll believe it. For example.. where I work one of the ladies is currently in the hospital. I haven't been to see here, but I believe that's where she is. (edited to add: I know that's fairly genaric.. and my example has nothing to do with the scene, but the same holds true in every case I've been involved in.)

HisSub1213 -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 9:30:51 AM)
My question is; How much notice would you take of gossip? Would you form an opinion of someone based on what another person tells you? I think that question is particularly relevant to submissives and Dom/Dommes Would you continue to tell other people the same gossip I rarely pay attention to gossip. Having been the subject of it for the past two years due to an ex-step son who is for some reason intent on making my life miserable, I've learned to pay no attention to about 99.9% of the gossip flying around, about me or anyone else. I never have, nor will I at this point, form opinions of people based on something someone tells me. I consider the information, but I think that everyone is entitled to their own "first impression" as it were. If, after meeting the person in question for myself, I find that what I was told was true, then its a different story. I don't spread gossip or rumors. In fact most people I know here locally have stopped telling me the "juicy gossip" as they call it simply because I don't believe it and don't spread it. Kind of makes time at the ole water cooler a bit lonely [:D]

SensualitySmiles -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 9:33:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz My question is; How much notice would you take of gossip? Would you form an opinion of someone based on what another person tells you? I think that question is particularly relevant to submissives and Dom/Dommes Would you continue to tell other people the same gossip No. I hate gossip and would not listen to it, or form an opinion of someone based on what someone else has said.

Lucienne -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 9:46:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz How much notice would you take of gossip? Would you form an opinion of someone based on what another person tells you? Would you continue to tell other people the same gossip? Not much. Highly unlikely. That stuff is too unreliable and I'm rarely in a hurry to form firm opinions about people. I like to take my time and gather information. Generally, no. People looking to spread gossip rarely turn to me precisely because I don't pass it on. The more eager the gossiper seems to want me to pass it on, the less tempted I am to do so.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 9:59:00 AM)
I guess it depends what you mean by gossip, I have never started a rumour or anything like that, I have talked about people when they aren't there but rarely about their personal life and if so only if it involves me. I listen to gossip if i don't see it as gossip, as someone said it is about who says it and what its about, I don't base all my opinions on gossip though, I found out once years ago that a lot of it is crap, if someone tells me something I will decide whether to take it on board or not based on what I know of the person etc.

domiguy -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 9:59:36 AM)
I have killed before. This will resonate throughout the community.

allthatjaz -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 10:08:25 AM)
People do like a bit of juicy steak! it goes with morbid fascination and so long as its not them being talked about then alls good but I agree with you guys/gals! I think gossip is so destructive and I take pleasure in ones like I first mentioned where I can say 'Actually your totally wrong and what you have heard is a crock of shit'. Nip it in the bud is my motto. The worst type of gossip in my opinion though, is when a group of friends sit round a table and talk about the friend that wasn't able to make it. Now that does drive me nuts! Why do they do it though?

LillyoftheVally -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 10:10:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz Why do they do it though? Ninety percent of us do it, I have very rarely ever found anyone ever who doesn't talk about people behind their back, its how many that admit to it that skews the results

RCdc -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 10:35:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally Ninety percent of us do it, I have very rarely ever found anyone ever who doesn't talk about people behind their back, its how many that admit to it that skews the results I was talking about you the other evening and how gorgeous you are.... does that count?[:D]

sinandhoney -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 10:43:36 AM)
I think gossip will eventually bear itself out. Yes those who don't know said person might believe it but if they are blameless then their actions will show they are blameless. If the people have reason to suspect or believe the gossip being told then they might be willing to believe the story being told to them. But for the most part time and actions will tell if they are to be believed or not.

allthatjaz -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 10:57:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RCdc quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally Ninety percent of us do it, I have very rarely ever found anyone ever who doesn't talk about people behind their back, its how many that admit to it that skews the results I was talking about you the other evening and how gorgeous you are.... does that count?[:D] Well I hope you told them how gorgeous we are too !! [;)] Good to see you both

allthatjaz -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 10:59:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy I have killed before. This will resonate throughout the community. Actually you only had to tell one person! but because you told the entire community with your own lips it has to be truth [:D]

RCdc -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 11:01:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz Well I hope you told them how gorgeous we are too !! [;)] Good to see you both Pffft.... well that's a given! Mind you... will you gossip about my cooking once you have tasted it????[:D]

allthatjaz -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 11:07:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz Why do they do it though? Ninety percent of us do it, I have very rarely ever found anyone ever who doesn't talk about people behind their back, its how many that admit to it that skews the results I think its higher than ninety percent but no where near that number are into malicious stuff. I have friends calling me all the time to tell me this or that but none of it is malicious. We hang out within a group and I can put my hand on my heart and say that I have never once heard anything slightly malicious or back stabbing.... geez I hate back stabbers. When Steve and me decided to get married we were going to call all our friends but then I thought it would be cheaper and less time consuming if we just told one particular person. We knew that way that word would get round very quickly and so it did! I don't consider that person malicious but she loves to gossip. What I meant when I said 'why do they do that?' was more towards the malicious gossipers. Some people like being the bearers of bad news.

juliaoceania -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 11:07:55 AM)
I only share gossip I hear with people very close to me. Sharing gossip is tantamount to real acceptance of other people, and I think that is why people do it...it is being in the loop I do not listen to just anyone's gossip either. I have to be close to the person telling me it also. Like a romantic partner, or a family member. So, no, I do not take part in "scene" gossip. I do not spread gossip outside of my intimates

allthatjaz -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 11:08:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RCdc quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz Well I hope you told them how gorgeous we are too !! [;)] Good to see you both Pffft.... well that's a given! Mind you... will you gossip about my cooking once you have tasted it????[:D] Only if its good!

Lockit -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 11:35:42 AM)
Gossip does damage where damage can be done and I am not sure what can be done about it. I was recently gossiped about. Was it true? Depends on who you listened to. lol Although there were things proven, did it stop? No... and it continues. I was dangerous, harmful, crazy, lacking as a dominant and on and on. Will it effect me for long? I don't know... it has cost me. More than one that had an interest in me and a strong interest are now gone. Was it a natural flow of how it would have gone or the gossip? I don't know... but I tend to believe that some of that gossip is believed for a number of reasons I won't get into. Shit happens. Will I call someone dangerous on the word of another with no further proof? NO. Will I use caution around someone who has been gossiped about.. yes, but that doesn't mean I will spread the gossip or not allow the person near me. I will make my own judgment. Actions often speak louder than words. There are some I will believe in a heartbeat as they have proven themselves with me and I know them well. But anyone coming with a story not first hand that I don't trust that much could be trusting the wrong person... could be misinformed and isn't going to be someone I fully trust to know the truth of the matter. Someone claiming that someone is dangerous... better have some proof to back that up because that is a very serious claim.

allthatjaz -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 1:01:13 PM)
I'm really sorry to hear you have been through something like that Lockit. I can't say that I have ever been the victim of malicious gossip or if I have I've remained oblivious to it but I can imagine how that would make me feel. I think its often jealousy or from someone who feels rejected and needs to take vengeance at someone elses expense.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: scene gossip (1/22/2010 2:02:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz What I meant when I said 'why do they do that?' was more towards the malicious gossipers. Some people like being the bearers of bad news. A bit like Münchhausen's by proxy, getting off on the drama of it all. Yeah that is a far smaller number and I understand it not even slightly

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