Do you or do you not.

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Do you or do you not.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Do you or do you not.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Do you or do you not. - 1/23/2010 9:15:01 PM

WantingToServe11

Posts: 93
Joined: 1/17/2010
Status: offline

I hope this questions hasn't been asked. But, here I go.

When a submissive male sends you a well written, precise, and courteous message/e-mail. Do you also prefer for him to give his yahoo at the message or do you prefer to give him yours?

< Message edited by WantingToServe11 -- 1/23/2010 9:17:31 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/23/2010 9:23:14 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

Why would you want to change mediums.... and why does it have to be Yahoo? Why is it always yahoo?
Not a Domme-Lady...... but.....

WHY!!!!?!

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to WantingToServe11)

Post #: 2

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/23/2010 9:35:46 PM

CherokeeRose2

Posts: 36
Joined: 11/29/2008
Status: offline

I usually don't bother to respond to emails when the sender immediately suggests moving on to Yahoo. It's a prime tactic of most scammers, and it immediately raises my suspicions. While I'm sure that not every individual who includes their yahoo ID is a scammer, if I added everyone that asked, I'd have to add somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 to 100 per week. That's a lot of time to waste in pointless IMs (pointless because I'd never remember salient information about the individual because I'd have so many contacting me).

It's better to spend a week or two exchanging emails here, then move on to another medium once you've established basic interest.

Incidentally, it's even less impressive to include a phone number.

< Message edited by CherokeeRose2 -- 1/23/2010 9:36:42 PM >

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 3

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/23/2010 9:40:02 PM

SthrnCom4t

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

I don't really have a preference. I've answered initial contact emails directly to his 'other' email address, or, after a few layers of correspondence, given him mine. Then again, I'm pretty laid back and have no expectation of power exchange unless we've negotiated it. I prefer power be given to *Me* as opposed to someone being submissive because they feel it's proper etiquette.

_____________________________

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 4

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/23/2010 9:44:50 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

I just give a polite "no thank you". I'm in like mind of pyro...why do we have to change mediums? Especially on the first email....mail works just as well here, and if they are trying for IM on the first email, they can forget about that

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to WantingToServe11)

Post #: 5

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/23/2010 9:51:45 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

I don't give out my yahoo address or IM on an initial email and unless someone gave me a really good reason for wanting me to respond to their yahoo (or other outside email) address, if they make that suggestion in the first email, it's a big turn off. Just like those friend requests from people I've never spoken to.

(in reply to WantingToServe11)

Post #: 6

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/23/2010 10:23:24 PM

SthrnCom4t

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

I'm reading some of the replies, and I feel like there's a difference between what the OP asked, and what the responses are addressing.

He asked if at the end of a courteous Cmail, we prefer to have him include his yahoo email? When I read this question, I don't think it says anything about 'asking to move the dialogue to yahoo'. I also don't think he is asking if you give yours out on the first layer of correspondence. In fact, the only 'time' reference he addresses is if we prefer to see his *at the end of his email*?

And to answer pyro's q.....of 'why' to change mediums? Well, let's just say this person who wrote really generated your interest, but for some reason, you have limited time/access to your kink email account. If you switch to another medium, which you have better access to, you can continue the correspondence with less hassle. Also, by him including his at the end, without a request, isn't it more a courtesy and display of giving you access to him if *you* choose?

_____________________________

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 7

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/23/2010 10:33:37 PM

WantingToServe11

Posts: 93
Joined: 1/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SthrnCom4t

I'm reading some of the replies, and I feel like there's a difference between what the OP asked, and what the responses are addressing.

That's precisely what I'm asking, and I feel as if the question got answered. Thank you much!

quote:

ORIGINAL: SthrnCom4t

Also, by him including his at the end, without a request, isn't it more a courtesy and display of giving you access to him if *you* choose?

Your question was one of the reasons why I wanted to just give out my yahoo. Also, I wanted to give it out because if the person I emailed is interested then why not just talk on Yahoo. Sooner or later it's going to move to that any ways: am I right?

But on the other hand, some people may get the wrong impression of me. For instance, they may assume that I'm a scammer or one of those cam site people trying to lure them in to apply/sign-up for something. Or, they may come to the conclusion that I'm trying to be forceful, rude or speedy.

It seems that most women get a negative impression on someone who gives out there yahoo/aim/msn information on the first message.

< Message edited by WantingToServe11 -- 1/23/2010 10:43:57 PM >

(in reply to SthrnCom4t)

Post #: 8

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/23/2010 10:37:06 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WantingToServe11

I hope this questions hasn't been asked. But, here I go.

When a submissive male sends you a well written, precise, and courteous message/e-mail. Do you also prefer for him to give his yahoo at the message or do you prefer to give him yours?

Neither. I only talk here. And immediate efforts to move to yahoo are apparently a prime tactic of scammers, so if I were you I'd get another primary email.

I have it all over my profile that with CM members I don't want to converse on any other medium or email, and that those who suggest it will be blocked immediately. I happily block them.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to WantingToServe11)

Post #: 9

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/23/2010 10:44:26 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

While the intent behind the OP may be one of giving access for the Domme if she chooses to accept it, most in my experience are not. Often, after telling a submissive that you appreciate their inclusion of their YIM (or other IM), but you prefer to continue dialogue in CMail for a bit first, the response becomes "oh, sorry I bothered you" or they simply disappear. It appears to me that many submissives who include their YIM expect you to immediately hop over into an instant message.

To me, when I see a YIM address or a phone number, I think the person is rather presumptious. If I want that information, I'll ask for it, but only WHEN I want it.

There are several reasons why I refuse to hop on over after an initial email. First and foremost, I dislike the amount of 'focused time' the IM environment requires. When speaking in IM, most messages are fast and furious and require one's dedicated time and attention, not leaving room to focus on other things without constant interruption.

Secondly, I prefer to read a thoughtful reply to any questions I've asked, not just a quick response. This also seems to be a common scenario in IMs.

Thirdly, MANY submissives think that if you go to IM with them after a first email that it is the equivalent of 'putting out' on a first date and they expect cyber. That just infuriates me.

Fourthly, as mentioned by another poster, if I were to add every IM address or even half of them offered to me, I'd have so many names on my IM that I wouldn't know who was who. Who's gonna delete all the ones that have just poofed? Hell I wouldn't be able to remember who poofed, who flaked, who was a jackass, and who was a good connection.

Finally, MOST instant messengers and especially CChat really causes my crappy computer to become unstable.

_____________________________

4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions.

Ask a Mistress Forum FAQ
Profile Help

(in reply to SthrnCom4t)

Post #: 10

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/24/2010 3:49:02 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

At a party, would you go up to a stranger and say, "Hey you look interesting, here's my phone number." ?

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 11

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/24/2010 5:02:14 AM

CherokeeRose2

Posts: 36
Joined: 11/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WantingToServe11

Also, I wanted to give it out because if the person I emailed is interested then why not just talk on Yahoo. Sooner or later it's going to move to that any ways: am I right?

If there's mutual interest, yes, you'll probably move to another medium after a few interested emails. When I first got on here, I'd move to talk on yahoo fairly quickly and almost without exception, the boys wanted cyber/cam once I got there. So I stopped. = If the person in question IS sincere, then there's no reason they shouldn't be able to weather a week or two of email exchanging on CM before getting on the phone.

(in reply to WantingToServe11)

Post #: 12

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/24/2010 5:25:48 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WantingToServe11

When a submissive male sends you a well written, precise, and courteous message/e-mail. Do you also prefer for him to give his yahoo at the message or do you prefer to give him yours?

I used to give my IM information fairly quickly without realizing that my security software wasn't as up to snuff as it could be. I was bombared with spam/phishing and attacked by a nasty little virus that was believed to have gotten it's way into my pc via a link that was shared on YIM.

Fast forward a few years and I have much better security step up. However, I'm also not so inclined to give out my IM contact info anymore. Security issues aside, I just don't have the time to sit and chat away.

When I recieve an introductory email that includes personal information like YIM or phone numbers, I usually say thank you but no thank you. I'm not as into instant gratification as so many other are. I like to wait...to have someone make the effort of writing more than one interesting email...to see if they are willing to enjoy the chase as much as the prize at the end.

There's something to be said for the seduction of slowing down and enjoying the ride vs rushing to the end and wondering what was the hurry. Eventually we'll move to either phone, my prefered method of contact, or...if necessary...YIM, although I would rather go from phone to meeting in person, but not after one or even a weeks worth of emails.

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 1/24/2010 5:27:01 AM >

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to WantingToServe11)

Post #: 13

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/24/2010 6:23:33 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

I used to have in my initial profile that I did not want to be asked for my IM address, and that I would ask for theirs if and when I wanted it. That seemed to go unnoticed so I moved it to the top line. It didn't matter.

I love receiving a well written email. I don't mind if someone includes their IM address as long as they are not pushing me to use it; especially before any type of communication is established. I saw too many that went from being very polite in emails to only wanting to wank when they were on IM. While I may be good at getting guys off it is not my purpose in life. I chose to start keeping it to emails only in the beginning to weed out those who only wanted a "good time".

_____________________________

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 14

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/24/2010 6:51:39 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I have this mentioned in My profile as well. I specifically say that if a yahoo address is sent to Me in an introductory email, I will block the sender of the message. I use that policy for chat as well as regular email address.

I can't say that I've ever been in the position that I had limited access to My account here, but I had so much interest in someone who had just written Me for the first time that I rushed to change over to yahoo mail. I'm probably the odd person out on this one, but I'm more easily reached on CM, rather than My primary email address. Even those folks that I know from the forums where I have their yahoo email address, I'm more likely to send them a note on CM.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 15

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/24/2010 9:19:08 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WantingToServe11

I hope this questions hasn't been asked. But, here I go.

When a submissive male sends you a well written, precise, and courteous message/e-mail. Do you also prefer for him to give his yahoo at the message or do you prefer to give him yours?

In general if you are looking for a D/s relationship, I suggest letting the potential D make the decision about the next move after you first contact her. Accept that decision whatever it is or move on to another potential.

Yes, even if that decision is to not reply to your email.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to WantingToServe11)

Post #: 16

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/24/2010 9:31:24 AM

SthrnCom4t

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

I guess I never feel pressure to move to Yahoo. I mean, they can *try*, but like most types of *demand* energy, that will not get someone very far with me. I also agree with those who said an instant message is more focused attention than email. Again, if I want to give focused attention I do, and if I don't, I feel no obligation. If someone *is* going to rush to any expectation, that's on them, not me. And frankly, if they weird out on me over whether or not I move to another medium on *their* time schedule not mine, I find that rather telling. Like most ways I exchange power, I'm fine with others giving me access......I know, and they soon learn, that I'll choose to use/or not that access on my own whim.

I also think about it this way.....the more information I have, the more I can use. :)

If I write to someone who I'm interested in, I'll include my other email. Hell, if you google my screen name, you'll find it anyway. I have the same name on just about all the services.

_____________________________

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 17

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/24/2010 9:33:13 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WantingToServe11

Your question was one of the reasons why I wanted to just give out my yahoo. Also, I wanted to give it out because if the person I emailed is interested then why not just talk on Yahoo. Sooner or later it's going to move to that any ways: am I right?

Why would you assume this? i don't even have a Yahoo IM or e-mail address. Most of the messages that i receive from people who ask me to move to Yahoo are from scammers.

Two assumptions that i see people make repeatedly; 1)assuming that everyone is on Yahoo, and 2) assuming that every has a webcam.

i get asked to do both constantly. i don't do either. i don't own a webcam, and i have no desire to.

You know what they say about when you assume.

(in reply to WantingToServe11)

Post #: 18

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/24/2010 9:38:32 AM

Miyani

Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

At a party, would you go up to a stranger and say, "Hey you look interesting, here's my phone number." ?

I know this wasn't directed at me, but... well, yes. I've both given people my number simply because I thought they looked interesting from across a room, and accepted and called numbers given to me for the same reason. I think it shows serious guts to be able to do that, and while one of the things we will be talking about is what kind of "interesting" they meant, I have respect for people who are able to do that.

As for the question: Actually, I prefer to be asked about moving to Yahoo or alternate email, before I'm given the screen name. And it had better not be in the first email. To me, just sticking a screen name in at the end of the email and saying nothing about it is manipulative, whereas asking "would you mind switching to Yahoo or an outside email?" is straightforward. But then, one of the first things any boy of mine is trained to do is be straightforward and ask for what he wants. If he asks, he may get it. If he stays silent or tries to hint at something, he won't.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 19

RE: Do you or do you not. - 1/24/2010 10:54:03 AM

Lucienne

Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic
and why does it have to be Yahoo? Why is it always yahoo?
Not a Domme-Lady...... but.....

WHY!!!!?!

I know! I'm a gmail snob.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Do you or do you not.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078