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Morniel -> RE: toys for twats (12/28/2007 4:14:59 PM)
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Fun and Easy Toys for Twats....
Blue Heaven (total cost about $4US)
1) Take a heavy-duty condom (doesn't matter if it's lubed or what)
2) Mix one spoonful of instant gelatin (blue is fun) in 2 big spoonsful of very hot water till it dissolves.
3) Slowly pour it into the unrolled condom, then add cool water.
4) Leave enough free space to tie an overhand knot.
5) Freeze... overnight. Even if the condom breaks as the coloured ice melts, it won't hurt anyone anywhere, and any stains will wash out.
Sticking To It (Total cost about $7US)
1) Get a dowel as long as your own leg and as big around as your own thumb.
2) Get 2 closed-loop eyelet bolts.
3) Pre-drill a hole in each end of the dowel, through the width, about 4 fingers-width from the end.
4) Screw in your eyelets; if needed you can paint the protruding screw end with tool-dip.
5) Clip cuffs to the bolts; if you are good with rope you can just thread one twist of rope through the bolt.
Hush-up! (Total cost about $11US)
1) Get a nylon dog-collar about as wide as your finger, and long enough, or adjustable enough, to fit round the head comfortably.
2) Get a rubber toy ball that fits not-quite-comfortably in the mouth.
3) CAREFULLY, with a very sharp knife, slip the knife point-first through the ball. You may have to do this 2-3 times.
4) Push the smaller end of the collar through the slit you made. Do it slowly; you don't want to split the ball.
5) Once the gag is on and in place, re-adjust the collar so that it's the proper length each time it's snapped on or off.
See? Toys for Twats! And you didn't have to click a link, order anything online, or get funny looks from the mail carrier!
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