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Feels like home. - 1/26/2010 2:09:16 AM   
CuriousRedeker


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/26/2010
Status: offline 		I have come to realize about myself something I feel I have, in the back of my mind, always known. To put it simply, I think I am into this lifestyle. I want to be a master and I want my own submissive/slave, but also kind of like the idea of being switch. I apologize for being woefully ignorant, but this is all very new to me. I don't really know how I am supposed to go about anything, not even this post. I was hoping someone could shed some light on how it is you...start? Haha. Obviously I need some help here.

To be more specific, the questions I was hoping to answer are:
- How do I find a partner locally? (besides this website)
- Should I just find someone I can trust and start experimenting and figure it out as I go?
- Basically, how do I get into this lifestyle because I want in badly.
- Is there a secret handshake? (Joke)

Thank you for any and all advice.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Feels like home. - 1/26/2010 2:35:09 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Basic newbie factfile:

A BDSM munch is a meeting of kinky people in a non-kinky setting, like a bar/cafe/restuarant. Google bdsm munch [insert your location here], find your nearest one and go to it. There you will meet real people in your local area in a non-scary setting.

Finding a partner and experimenting is one way to go, but for anything complicated/potentially harmful workshops are a must: there will be more information at the munch about where and when you can find them, or if there are clubs in your area you might want to try them.

Good luck, and enjoy!

PS if you are looking on this site it really is worth filling out your profile text-there are an awful lot of subs who will ignore a blank profile.


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to CuriousRedeker)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Feels like home. - 1/26/2010 3:20:58 AM   
DragonOfTheDawn


Posts: 6
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

- Is there a secret handshake? (Joke)


Yes there are lots and lots of them, less handshake more gear/used terms/rites.

(in reply to CuriousRedeker)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Feels like home. - 1/26/2010 4:02:50 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
- How do I find a partner locally? (besides this website)
Join a local BDSM society. Try these Georgia BDSM Groups

- Should I just find someone I can trust and start experimenting and figure it out as I go?
Yes, jump in and get your feet wet. You don’t have to be an “expert” to be a beginner.

- Basically, how do I get into this lifestyle because I want in badly.
Read more, see link in my sig.

- Is there a secret handshake? (Joke)
Yes but . . . if we tell you we will have to kill you.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to CuriousRedeker)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Feels like home. - 1/26/2010 6:36:57 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		What VaguelyCurious said.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Feels like home. - 1/26/2010 7:02:25 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousRedeker

- How do I find a partner locally? (besides this website)



For me CM and other websites are just a tool and important resource and good for making contact and funding out stuff, but it's best to go out and meet people at events, munches, make friends, and so on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousRedeker

- Should I just find someone I can trust and start experimenting and figure it out as I go?



Yes, because in all honesty that's what many of us are doing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousRedeker

- Basically, how do I get into this lifestyle because I want in badly.



This isn't Zen Buddhism or some sort of secret society. It's not like you're trying to get into the Catholic Church, but basically making more informed or aware choices about your own lifestyle. Nobody else's lifestyle is ever going to match your's.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousRedeker

- Is there a secret handshake? (Joke)



The only secret handshake here is someone 'shaking' their hand over their own genitalia.



_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to CuriousRedeker)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Feels like home. - 1/26/2010 7:39:40 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousRedeker
- How do I find a partner locally? (besides this website)
- Should I just find someone I can trust and start experimenting and figure it out as I go?
- Basically, how do I get into this lifestyle because I want in badly.


How to find a partner?
- My answer: Not at this website for a guy; probably at this website for a gal; at Craigslist for both (gals' success rate is ten x a guys so remember to only take advice from someone who realizes that or you'll be wasting your time. It's like asking an 8'foot tall basketball player what his secret is to being successful in basketball. You're better off asking a guy who is your height).
- Answer most often given to this question: Just like you'd find any other partner for any other activity.
(this question has got to be the most oft-asked question on the forum so doing a little searching will get you more detailed replies)

Should I just experiment with the next partner?
- My answer: Um ... uh ... yeah. (or, see the next question/answer below for the shortcut)

What's a shortcut into the lifestyle?
- My answer: Find a pro-sub on Craigslist or any of a number of pro-sub houses and experiment with the professional.
Two that are just a couple of miles away from me are www.thegatessm.com and www.backdrop.net

For $150 and hour, you can spank a gorgeous willing sub, slap her tits, have her walk on all fours in front of you and eat out of a doggy bowl while leashed and tugged at your request. What could be a better way to get acquainted with a lifestyle than that?

(in reply to CuriousRedeker)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Feels like home. - 1/26/2010 8:26:29 AM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		Yep, a lot of good responses, so I won't repeat what they have said.

You are off to a good start, by not trying to bullshit yourself and others. So that gives you a leg up on those who are too foolish to ask about what they don't know.
Most dungeons also have open socials, where new prospective members can come and tour the place, get aquainted with members, etc.

And yeah, your question about the secret handshake shows you probably already know that there isn't some secret body of knowledge or protocol to be learned; we all pretty much practice it in our own way.


So welcome, and enjoy.

(in reply to CuriousRedeker)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Feels like home. - 1/26/2010 8:49:27 AM   
afkarr


Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		Craigslist can be frustrating, but it does have it successess. Just remember that you will get a gazillion responses that say something like "Check out my profile at xxxxx". Usually spam bots drumming up business for paid membership sites. But occassionally there's a eal person on there. Try to avoid demanding a pic with reply in your post- real people with an ounce of common snense don't send out their picture to anonymous webpostings.

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Feels like home. - 1/26/2010 2:26:27 PM   
babygurlangel


Posts: 85
Joined: 12/13/2009
Status: offline 		Craigslist is good, i have met a few people on there they are friends only but its a good place to start. Just as afkarr said there are a lot of bots on there. Good Luck!

(in reply to afkarr)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Feels like home. - 1/26/2010 5:05:57 PM   
Rhodes85


Posts: 445
Joined: 11/15/2008
From: Nova Scotia, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

- Is there a secret handshake?


...are you from the east brother?

i'll be very suprised if anyone gets that reference

_____________________________

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. Had this been an actual emergency you would all be dead by now. Have a nice day and remember: Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

(in reply to babygurlangel)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Feels like home. - 1/26/2010 6:06:56 PM   
LadyOddsworth


Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2010
Status: offline 		Welcome! Have fun!

_____________________________

We all have baggage, the question is; Is it carry on or do you need a U-haul for it?


(in reply to Rhodes85)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Feels like home. - 1/26/2010 6:16:31 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		You don't get the handshake until you figure out how to get rid of the ice cream cone under your name.


Welcome!

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to LadyOddsworth)
Profile   Post #: 13
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