relationship vs casual enslavement

relationship vs casual enslavement (Full Version)

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beowulf1234 -> relationship vs casual enslavement (1/27/2010 5:19:12 PM)
I was tought a hard lesson and I am asking for some feedman back. My years of being a trained slave was to a Female owner and for the most part exclusive, unless she She felt differently in any point in time. I have been interviewed and on a trial basis, had my talents used for a prospective owner. My trial weekend day was excriciating with hardwork in housekeeping. Domestics are a specialty, but this was far too much. I served in cognito as hired maid to service a single parent and children. I did a ton of laundry, cleaning, shopping, and cooking, The Mistress had me conviced she was a lifestyle Domme. The kids were out for the weekend with their dad. It took me all of 15 hours to clean up. Then prepared a candlelite dinner at Mistress request. The night was romantic and beautiful, She new my attraction to her. I was always partial to a Lady of color. She kept me at bay. She told me that though she found me to be somewhat attractive as a man of Europian Ethnicity , She prefered her own. But she knew that most black men are not into this kind of servitude and devotion, She told me out right that she will stick with her own as lovers and significant others. But she is willing to keep me and allow me foot worship for my domestic service. My question is, Is Collarme becomming a free maid service to vanilla Dominants? I sustained so many years of training and discipline. I would hate the idea of being owned, scarred, branded and flogged. Now having to serve Martha Stewart! Any Comments without being mean!

beowulf1234 -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/27/2010 5:23:08 PM)
Please forgive the spelling I had a long day, serving Mistress above

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/27/2010 5:27:11 PM)
Congratulations, you met someone who is incompatible with you. This has absolutely no bearing on the site, only on your particular interests and desires, which seem to be in opposition to hers. Remember, you are the one who agreed to do the work. You are the one who wanted to be with this woman enough that you would follow her instructions, whatever they might be. You could have said, "thanks, but this just isn't working for me" at any time and walked out the door. You didn't. Did the woman have unrealistic expectations? Possibly. Did you have unrealistic expectations? Possibly. Whatever the case, you are clearly looking for something this woman is unwilling to provide and she is looking for something you are unwilling to provide. Each of you has the right to seek whatever you want. Recognize this, and go find someone else who more closely matches you. It's not the end of the world.

MzBree -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/27/2010 5:27:16 PM)
Maybe you forgot, whatever makes Mistress happy, sounds like you were used well, Thats not what this is all about?

LafayetteLady -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/27/2010 5:27:46 PM)
You made the choice to do a "trial" day with her. Would it have been nice if she were upfront about her preferences from the start? Yup. She wasn't though. Consider it a lesson learned and in the future don't do "trial" servitude, and ask whether they are looking for a relationship or just someone to clean up after them. If you are looking for a relationship type of situation, make sure anyone who you consider (and considers you back) is aware of that. Then proceed to establish a relationship instead of showing them that you are good at cleaning their house. By the way...15 hours? Sounds like this woman lives like a slob, so would you really want to be involved in that anyway?

DarkSteven -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/27/2010 5:27:50 PM)
So it seems like you agreed to serve a woman without discussion beforehand as to what that entailed, and now you're unhappy that you didn't get to serve her in your way? Sit down. Talk. Explain what you need, and what she needs.

peppermint -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/27/2010 5:32:00 PM)
Collarme is a free site. As such you will find all kinds of people here. There are ProDommes. There are lifestyle Dommes. There are Masters. There are Dominants. There are slaves and submissives, both male and female. There are swingers. There are also people looking to cheat on a spouse. There are people here looking for a one night fuck. There are people here who are hoping to scam others out of money, time, or what have you. There are people who are just interested in looking at pictures and jacking off. There are some who are just curious and want to find out what this is about. Whatever kind of person is on the internet can be found here. Just because it's called Collarme does not mean only certain types of people will be here. You have a decision to make. You can stay with this lady you have found. You can cook and clean for her knowing that you will never have a deep relationship with her except worshiping her feet. You can also say good bye and look elsewhere. However, whatever you do you can't blame Collarme or the internet for what you find lacking in this new situation. You still have the right to choose what will make you happiest.

MargueriteV -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/27/2010 5:35:18 PM)
What the hell is a 'vanilla Dominant'!?

DVsFox -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/27/2010 7:48:20 PM)
While I understand why the OP's upset, I've never liked the use of "vanilla" as an insult. It just seems very petty to call somebody vanilla, like that's some evil thing, just because they don't do what you want exactly as you want it to be done. If somebody doesn't like your kink, or doesn't want a relationship with you...that doesn't make them vanilla, it simply means they have preferences. You're not entitled to her just because of your experience or your housework in her service. On the subject of Collarme... I met my Owner on my first day on the site. We're married and we have a wonderful relationship. While you certainly have reason to be upset, you shouldn't let that make you hate the site. I know of a lot of great marriages and relationships that started on here. I sincerely hope you have better luck in the future. It sucks she wasn't entirely forward with you in the beginning. DV's Fox

GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/27/2010 8:22:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beowulf1234 My question is, Is Collarme becomming a free maid service to vanilla Dominants? Because 1 man had 1 experience....?/ nope GM

CarrieO -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/27/2010 9:47:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beowulf1234 I have been interviewed and on a trial basis, had my talents used for a prospective owner. Did you also remember to approach this as you interviewing her on a trial basis? My trial weekend day was excriciating with hardwork in housekeeping. Domestics are a specialty, but this was far too much. I served in cognito as hired maid to service a single parent and children. I did a ton of laundry, cleaning, shopping, and cooking, The Mistress had me conviced she was a lifestyle Domme. The kids were out for the weekend with their dad. It took me all of 15 hours to clean up. Well, is this what you agreed to? If yes, stop complaining. If no, say thank you but no thank you and exit stage left. Then prepared a candlelite dinner at Mistress request. The night was romantic and beautiful, She new my attraction to her. I was always partial to a Lady of color. She kept me at bay. She told me that though she found me to be somewhat attractive as a man of Europian Ethnicity , She prefered her own. But she knew that most black men are not into this kind of servitude and devotion, She told me out right that she will stick with her own as lovers and significant others. But she is willing to keep me and allow me foot worship for my domestic service. Did the two of you discuss expectations before this trial of domestic unblissfulness? Did she tell you that while having a european houseboy would wet her whistle, the chances of you getting more than a good spit and polish workout and a chance to worship at her feet were slim to none? If not...communication is key, man. If there's no talk then there can be no expectations...realistic ones atleast. My question is, Is Collarme becomming a free maid service to vanilla Dominants? I sustained so many years of training and discipline. I would hate the idea of being owned, scarred, branded and flogged. Now having to serve Martha Stewart! Well, having known more than a few people who worked for Mistress Martha, I must say you could do worse. CollarMe hasn't become a free maid service...if it had, my tiny cottage would sparkle and shine from all the free cleaning! No, what has become a free maid service is YOU...remember, no talk/no realistic expectations. For what it's worth...15 hours spent in my tiny hovel could have produced not just a clean house but also newly painted walls...a totally ash-free fireplace...and probably time to do some much needed yardwork. Yes, next time choose someone who has a smaller and from the sound of it cleaner house if you're going to do the no-strings gig. Heck...I'd even throw in a bit of lunch and maybe a glass of wine. I can be nice like that. Any Comments without being mean! I tried...not...to...be...mean...really. Honesty can be painful at times. It was good for me...was it good for you?

Lucienne -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/28/2010 9:40:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady By the way...15 hours? Sounds like this woman lives like a slob, so would you really want to be involved in that anyway? Hey... slobs can be good people! My first visit with the houseboy featured him spending 3 hours cleaning my (relatively small) kitchen, top to bottom, inside and out. I don't think having a messy kitchen before made me a bad person. I know that having a clean kitchen now makes me a happy person. And I've been known to express my joy through ass play. So it all works out nicely. I am laughing at myself for my defensiveness whenever I read comments along the lines of "why can't you clean your own house?" or comments that judge a person's general competency at life by their housekeeping skills, but seriously... people like me obviously benefit the most from housework service precisely because I don't do it myself. Why would a submissive man want to be involved with a woman for whom he can provide a service that makes the woman happy and him feel useful and appreciated? Isn't the answer kind of obvious? If the OP had been more compatible with this woman, would anyone seriously suggest that he not get involved with her because her house was a mess when they first met? I guess some people probably would.

Sylverdawn -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/28/2010 10:06:36 AM)
Im confused...was he disappointed because she didnt want sex with him??? or because he wasnt USED in some way they had agreed upon.. Service .... means to serve as needed .. without expectation ..service is not a barter system... I do five hours of housework for one hour of play time .... it means help me make my life easier.. more comfortable..

thetammyjo -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/28/2010 10:21:08 AM)
This was a trail scene, a trail service period. Guess what? What she wants is only the half the issue now. If that isn't compatible with what you want, say "no thanks" and move on.

LafayetteLady -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/28/2010 1:54:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucienne quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady By the way...15 hours? Sounds like this woman lives like a slob, so would you really want to be involved in that anyway? Hey... slobs can be good people! My first visit with the houseboy featured him spending 3 hours cleaning my (relatively small) kitchen, top to bottom, inside and out. I don't think having a messy kitchen before made me a bad person. I know that having a clean kitchen now makes me a happy person. And I've been known to express my joy through ass play. So it all works out nicely. I am laughing at myself for my defensiveness whenever I read comments along the lines of "why can't you clean your own house?" or comments that judge a person's general competency at life by their housekeeping skills, but seriously... people like me obviously benefit the most from housework service precisely because I don't do it myself. Why would a submissive man want to be involved with a woman for whom he can provide a service that makes the woman happy and him feel useful and appreciated? Isn't the answer kind of obvious? If the OP had been more compatible with this woman, would anyone seriously suggest that he not get involved with her because her house was a mess when they first met? I guess some people probably would. I'm never going to be one that says my house is always spit shine clean. Far from it. But really, for a "trial" day of service, it sounds as though her house had really just become a disaster and she wanted someone to clean it up, then threw him a bone saying he could worship her feet because he wasn't the "type" of guy that she preferred. Even given that scenario, the OP is not without fault in the situation. I don't buy into the whole "trial" thing, but then again, I was always looking for a relationship. But he definately could have said, "ok, you want to see if I'm capable of serving you, I will come and clean ONE room of your home spic and span clean." Surely that is enough to find out whether one is capable of the service or not. From her end though, she knew that he wasn't the "type" physically that she wanted to have a relationship with (which from all appearances, they both want someone to have a relationship with) and in my opinion, it was wrong of her to not be clear on that from the start. In the meantime Lucienne, please feel free to keep your house as messy as you please, and if you find someone who is really good at the cleaning, would you mind sending him my way?

Lucienne -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/28/2010 3:02:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady From her end though, she knew that he wasn't the "type" physically that she wanted to have a relationship with (which from all appearances, they both want someone to have a relationship with) and in my opinion, it was wrong of her to not be clear on that from the start. I completely agree with you and it sounds like she pretty much used the guy.

LadyOddsworth -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/28/2010 3:12:14 PM)
You need more communication in the future, and before you clean the house. That is not the situation you want, move on. Hey, you learned something from it though.

AlexandraLynch -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/28/2010 11:19:03 PM)
I don't mind having a sub clean, but if I do it's liable to be either light (so I don't wear him out because I want to wear him out in other ways) or it's a straight-up service situation in which I am using him as a hired back and strong pair of hands to assist me in doing a larger cleaning job, and I tend to only ask this of subs I have some degree of friendship with. You weren't compatible. It happens. Keep looking, and identify what about the situation didn't work for you so that you can avoid it next time.

thishereboi -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/29/2010 7:54:39 AM)
If you don't want to serve a "martha stewart" type then find some one who isn't that type. There are a lot of Dommes out there and they all want something different. Find one who is looking for the same type relationship and have fun.

Tantriqu -> RE: relationship vs casual enslavement (1/29/2010 8:09:51 AM)
"I know that having a clean kitchen now makes me a happy person. And I've been known to express my joy through ass play." [sm=highfive.gif] Although it's haiku for me, the sentiment is the same.

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