|
BeachMystress -> Male Bashing (3/25/2006 1:26:22 AM)
|
.
Men are always complaining that women are suffocating them. Personally I think if you can hear them whining, you aren't pressing hard enough on the pillow.
--
Bumper stickers:
Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
Sadly, all men are created equal.
Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!
--
* So many men - so little aspirin.
* If they can send a man to the moon, why can't they send them all?
* Why do men think they don't need directions when they can't even find clean socks?
* The evolution of man: Tadpole - frog - Prince Charming - Royal Pain
* They say it's a man's world - so that's what's wrong with it!
* Men! They sweep you off your feet and then try to hand you the broom!
* Men don't try to drive women crazy - it just comes naturally.
* Women are born with something men will never possess: a clue!
~~~
The Frog and The Princess
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a beautiful meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess's lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am. Then, my dear, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a feast of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: "I don't think so."
~~~
WHY?
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
Why do men become smarter during sex?
Because they are plugged into a genius.
Why did God put men on earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
Three, if you slice them very thinly.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
~~~
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." -- Katherine Hepburn
|
|
|
|
