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Fake Mistresses - 1/28/2010 2:29:21 AM

fantasy111honey

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/27/2010
Status: offline

Just want to introduce myself and say 'hi'.

I'm a submissive male who loves to be dominated by women.

I have a question -

What are 'fake' mistresses?? are they on here?? and what are the problems with them if they are?? can they rip you off so to speak??

I would like to know for my own safety and hopefully for the safety of other new members

If this has been discussed before, then forgive my ignorance

Hope you are all well

Thankyou x

Post #: 1

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/28/2010 2:31:53 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

Please refer to our ongoing FAQ. This has been discussed numerous times. Enjoy your stay.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3024494/mpage_4/tm.htm

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(in reply to fantasy111honey)

Post #: 2

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/28/2010 4:49:06 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fantasy111honey
What are 'fake' mistresses?? are they on here?? and what are the problems with them if they are?? can they rip you off so to speak??

Unfortunately, fakes, phoneys and scammers are everywhere on and off line. You need to take your time to get to know someone in order to reduce your chances of falling prey to them.

Things you can do is participate to message boards like these ones and get to know people and learn the signs. There was also a link to an FAQ in the previous post that might provide some ressources for you. But the best thing is gaining experience.

Welcome to the boards :-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to fantasy111honey)

Post #: 3

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/28/2010 5:10:36 AM

SolangeRichards

Posts: 170
Joined: 5/8/2005
Status: offline

I don't think anyone online is a fake.

In fact, the problem with many of them is that they are all too real......

(in reply to fantasy111honey)

Post #: 4

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/28/2010 5:30:45 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fantasy111honey

What are 'fake' mistresses?? are they on here?? and what are the problems with them if they are?? can they rip you off so to speak??

Fake....I think this is a much over-used word online, especially on CM. Why not say "fraudulent imitation" or "counterfeit"?

Yes, you'll find people who make believe or put on an act of Dommeliness...but, the same could be said for those who offer imitation submission. I'm less concerned with whether or not they live up to their stereotypicial chosen label image and more concerned that they know what to do with the tools of their chosen trade.

If you have some woman who calls herself a domme coming at you with a very long needle, a single-tail or super sharp hunting knife and you're strung up like a thanksgiving turkey...you better darn well hope she hasn't misrepresented herself.

That, my friend, could be worse than being "ripped off".

Now, I really do hope you take the time to read thru the FAQ link Domin8tingUrDrmz gave you...oodles of info which might be able to answer any other questions.

_____________________________

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(in reply to fantasy111honey)

Post #: 5

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/28/2010 5:47:43 AM

MsHValentine

Posts: 80
Joined: 1/6/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SolangeRichards

I don't think anyone online is a fake.

In fact, the problem with many of them is that they are all too real......

Very true. Fake Mistress usually means a money Mistress who's into financial domination. I don't consider this type of mistress "fake" as long as she's upfront with what she wants. Plenty of them are. She wants your money, the man wants her attention. It doesn't last very long.

Fake: whenever someone is misrepresenting their intentions.

(in reply to SolangeRichards)

Post #: 6

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/28/2010 6:31:43 AM

notinferior

Posts: 31
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

I just read the FAQ and somebody did a great job with it. As to a specific answer to this question I would input that my, limited, experience is that "fake" isn't so much the right term as (a) someone who's interests or needs are not a good match for the given person; (b) someone who misrepresents their intentions or motivations or other things about themselves or (c) someone who is (putting it nicely) kind of nuts..... and using the lifestyle to cover up their own insecurities and just plain weirdness. Best bet...... get to know her real well as a person before you let her tie you up or have your credit card numbers.

By the way, my personal favorite (it happened to me) is a woman who was actually trolling the site for her boyfriend. She seemed a little weird when we started chatting, then it got weirder when I called her. Buh bye.

Good luck to a fellow newbie sub.

(in reply to fantasy111honey)

Post #: 7

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/28/2010 6:52:28 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

Please refer to our ongoing FAQ. This has been discussed numerous times. Enjoy your stay.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3024494/mpage_4/tm.htm

Resistance is futile.

eleven of nine* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 8

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/28/2010 9:05:02 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Hi.

Sure there's fake Mistresses just like there's fake subs. We're only into real subs because we're real Mistresses into real femdom and real slavery but we've seen lots of fake stuff out there on the net. Shop carefully. Know what you want, who you are, and who you want to find.

Good luck.

Hope this helps.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to fantasy111honey)

Post #: 9

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/28/2010 9:34:09 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

i define "fake mistresses" a little bit differently than some do.

Some people will say that the Dommes who are only in it for the money are "fake". i don't think that there is anything "fake" about financial Dommes. Some view that as a scam. i view it as a very real form of domination that some subs desire.

i also don't think that pro Dommes are any less real than lifestyle Dommes.

Rather, the ones that i think of as "fake" are the people who have fantasized about D/s, but haven't actually been able to build up the courage to take the next step and actually act on their fantasy. But despite this fear, they contact potential partners and give the impression that a real-time meeting is a possibility (when in actuality, the person is going to get scared and back out of any potential meeting). You will find plenty of those individuals on this site. And they are on both sides of the kneel.

(in reply to fantasy111honey)

Post #: 10

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/29/2010 1:20:16 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

I see what you are saying, Rochsub, but I still don't consider them 'fake'. I consider them, a. testing the waters until they feel comfortable to move to real time, b. cyber dommes/subs. Some people, for whatever reason, prefer to keep things in an online environment. While it probably isn't the method preferred by most, if it works for them then more power to them.

I will agree that misleading someone into believing a meet will occur, only to backout without ever intending to keep to their word, is rather skeptical. But in all honesty, unless they specifically state they were stringing one along, nobody can really say for sure what their initial intentions were. Sometimes, after getting to know someone, the meeting falls through for other various legitimate reasons.

I'm not saying that there aren't some who do intentionally mislead others; what I am saying is that jumping to that conclusion simply because a planned meet fell through isn't always an accurate conclusion to make.

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Post #: 11

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/29/2010 5:11:15 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

Rather, the ones that i think of as "fake" are the people who have fantasized about D/s, but haven't actually been able to build up the courage to take the next step and actually act on their fantasy. But despite this fear, they contact potential partners and give the impression that a real-time meeting is a possibility (when in actuality, the person is going to get scared and back out of any potential meeting). You will find plenty of those individuals on this site. And they are on both sides of the kneel.

This is deceiptful, yes. But the desire to be involved in WIITWD might be genuine.

Fake for me is someone who has no interested in WIITWD and and makes profiles here to pray on people's vulnerabilities. Some of them are men posing as women.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 12

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/29/2010 5:19:39 AM

MistressTonya2u

Posts: 140
Joined: 12/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

.

Fake for me is someone who has no interested in WIITWD and and makes profiles here to pray on people's vulnerabilities. Some of them are men posing as women.

- LA

I have encountered this also and to me, false profiles are what I consider fake.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 13

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/29/2010 5:47:57 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

There are a lot of fakes and a lot of reasons that they are fakes. Some do it for money. Some are just jerks. Some people just have no respect for other peoples' time. Some have good intentions, but they chicken out when it comes time to meet in person.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to fantasy111honey)

Post #: 14

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/29/2010 6:34:13 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

I see what you are saying, Rochsub, but I still don't consider them 'fake'. I consider them, a. testing the waters until they feel comfortable to move to real time, b. cyber dommes/subs. Some people, for whatever reason, prefer to keep things in an online environment. While it probably isn't the method preferred by most, if it works for them then more power to them.

I will agree that misleading someone into believing a meet will occur, only to backout without ever intending to keep to their word, is rather skeptical. But in all honesty, unless they specifically state they were stringing one along, nobody can really say for sure what their initial intentions were.

i agree. Very good point. It's impossible to tell what someone's thoughts and intents are. i assigned blame when, as you pointed out, i really don't know what is going on inside their heads.

But having said that, i stand by my position that stringing someone along is unethical and unfair.

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 15

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/29/2010 10:02:07 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

There are a lot of fakes and a lot of reasons that they are fakes. Some do it for money. Some are just jerks. Some people just have no respect for other peoples' time. Some have good intentions, but they chicken out when it comes time to meet in person.

All of this is true except the "some do it for money" part. That is a legitimate service and most prodommes have personal subs on the side. That doesn't make it fake, that makes them entrepreneurial. Take a line from your own Mistress' profile: "I respect what the Pro-Domme does".

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 16

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/30/2010 9:46:05 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

I was not referring to pro dommes. I have nothing against them. I meant those scammers who pose as lifestyle, then they pull the old bait and switch. Many of the pics accompanying those profiles are not even legit. If you look around, you can find the same "Mistress" has ads in five different cities. WHenever I get a message from Asia or Africa, I know I am being pulled into a scam.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 17

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/30/2010 12:00:38 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

Thank you for clarifying that, slavekal.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 18

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/30/2010 12:05:31 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

wow...like I think "this" is the fourth fake thread today...must be a sale...couple more bags of popcorn and I'm gonna....

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to fantasy111honey)

Post #: 19

RE: Fake Mistresses - 1/30/2010 12:24:25 PM

GloriousMorning

Posts: 171
Joined: 3/18/2009
Status: offline

The internets are full of fakers, under every name in the book. You have to be careful, hard to know the person you are talking to, really is who you think you are talking to. I think I've been duped myself on a few occasions.

Not sure fakers fall under any particular category, but I do know some one on a BDSM dating site who was rejected by a Dominant woman, then apparently set up a whole fake account with her name attached just so he could get the wankers to send her cock shots and wanton requests for giving her the anal sex "she" claimed to love so much. Was his way of "getting back at her for being such a bitch". He said he was blown away by some of the male responses he received, even corresponding with a few of them.

Is this the kind of faker you're talking about here?

< Message edited by GloriousMorning -- 1/30/2010 12:25:56 PM >

(in reply to DrkJourney)

Post #: 20

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