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HisSub1213 -> Journals (1/29/2010 11:34:41 AM)
I'm sure this has been discussed before, but I didn't find anything in my search. So, please forgive me if this has been asked and answered a million times. For those who require a daily/weekly journal: I would like to know what is it that a Master/Dom looks for in slave/sub's journal? Do you really read them word for word? Do you want to know every detail of the day or just a synopsis? Every emotion or thought? I'm curious also what it is that you get out of reading said journal, as in some kind of insight, or whatever and how does that help in dealing with said slave/sub?

osf -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 11:39:19 AM)
i read them and i let them start them and suggest things as it goes along and yes i like details i get to know and understand her better especially when we discuss what is written

LadyPact -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 11:43:11 AM)
You weren't able to find anything? I went to the General section and typed the word 'journal' into the search criteria. There was a page full of replies and that was just for that section. Doing it under each of the sections (or under 'all') will give you results from various boards. To answer your questions: I look for expressions on his feelings. Not just about Me, D or M/s, or play, but about his life. I don't think it's possible for someone to journal every emotion or thought. If I wanted that, he wouldn't have time to do anything else. Yes, I do. Why would I instruct him to do something and then not ensure that it's followed through? Mine isn't much for writing. The core purpose of him doing it is so that I have a better understanding of how he processes things. The point of it is to know how his mind works, not especially the mundane things.

HisSub1213 -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 11:45:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact You weren't able to find anything? I went to the General section and typed the word 'journal' into the search criteria. There was a page full of replies and that was just for that section. Doing it under each of the sections (or under 'all') will give you results from various boards. It's probably this #$%# office computer. LOL

camille65 -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 11:47:31 AM)
He doesn't require that I keep a journal but I've kept a diary ever since I could write. Now, I use an online format instead of the pen & paper route. I know that he reads it every day and he is glad that I write because sometimes I have a problem bringing up issues to him. When I write I am able to say what I need to, knowing that he reads makes it seem like I am writing to him.

HisSub1213 -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 11:48:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact To answer your questions: I look for expressions on his feelings. Not just about Me, D or M/s, or play, but about his life. I don't think it's possible for someone to journal every emotion or thought. If I wanted that, he wouldn't have time to do anything else. Yes, I do. Why would I instruct him to do something and then not ensure that it's followed through? Mine isn't much for writing. The core purpose of him doing it is so that I have a better understanding of how he processes things. The point of it is to know how his mind works, not especially the mundane things. This makes good sense. I'm not much for writing either, and sometimes its so hard to put things into words that I sit and stare at a blank page. LOL

UniqueRaven -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 11:51:18 AM)
i'm a slave, not a Master, so i apologize in advance if this isn't of use to you. But i hope it is. i gave up writing a journal. Why? Because all it was was a place for me to struggle, repeatedly, with the same issues, over and over again, and never truly move past them. i spent some time once and re-read my journals, and all i saw was how it was all about ME, and my struggles, and fears, and emotions, etc. etc. etc. Very little of it being about actually just submitting and serving my Master. And it was such a waste of time! Once i realized that my struggles were all about me, and not about being a better slave, i decided to just let them go. i made a mental shift that really, so much of what we as submissive women struggle and agonize about is just all about us.....and it serves no one, ourselves included, and especially our Owners/Masters. There comes a point when you have to make the mental shift to just let things go and move on, and quit making them mean so much. Really, so much of what we do doesn't mean anything - it's just for fun! i mean, really, fun's a big part of why we have these sorts of relationships, right? [;)] So yes, it wasted his time to read my struggles. Plus it made him sad, because he wondered if i was really happy as a slave. And i was happy as a slave, but you sure wouldn't have thought it from reading my journals. The "dumping" of emotion in my journal did nothing for either of us. i realized that it is far much better (and simpler) for me to be able to just go to my Owner, and say, i'm feeling a bit sad today, and have him deal with it then and there, and then we both move on being happy together. Simple. No agonizing or struggling or philosophizing or anything like that. For me it is all about pleasing my Owner, and him reading a journal of my struggles isn't pleasing. Much better for me to be his happy girl, sitting naked at his feet, and ready.

EbonyWood -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 12:01:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven And it was such a waste of time! Once i realized that my struggles were all about me, and not about being a better slave, i decided to just let them go. i made a mental shift that really, so much of what we as submissive women struggle and agonize about is just all about us.....and it serves no one, ourselves included, and especially our Owners/Masters. For me it is all about pleasing my Owner, and him reading a journal of my struggles isn't pleasing. Much better for me to be his happy girl, sitting naked at his feet, and ready. I applaud this. Im all for less struggling and more giving up. Contrary to popular belief, not all Doms want to spend all day wrestling with the psychology of it all, acknowledging the struggle, turning the whole thing into a mental exercise about strength, power, trust blah blah blah. Submission isn't all about the motivation and struggles of the submitter, it's an act. BTW any men keeping a journal, go bowling or to a football game or something, will ya.

sexyred1 -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 12:14:44 PM)
I would never keep a journal because someone asked me to. I prefer to have someone who actually likes speaking to me, directly. If I am going to spend any time analyzing my feelings, I prefer to figure it on my own and if it has to do with the man, then I, in turn, will address that verbally. The only way I would keep a journal is if was a blog and I made money from it. Plus being asked to journal smacks to me of micromanagement and that is not my kink whatsoever, even though it might be for someone else.

LadyPact -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 12:24:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EbonyWood BTW any men keeping a journal, go bowling or to a football game or something, will ya. Hmmm. I'm surprised at this. Is there a reason in particular you would specifically advise a submissive to disobey?

EbonyWood -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 12:48:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: EbonyWood BTW any men keeping a journal, go bowling or to a football game or something, will ya. Hmmm. I'm surprised at this. Is there a reason in particular you would specifically advise a submissive to disobey? Surprised how? I dont hold a registered view on journals. I doubt a boi here is going to stop journalling his ass off because I say get out more. Was a statement against micromanagement as per UniqueRayvens very good post. Too much of a leap to call it specific advice to disobey, LP. Let it be.

Tantriqu -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 12:48:40 PM)
quote: "Do you really read them word for word? Do you want to know every detail of the day or just a synopsis? Every emotion or thought? I'm curious also what it is that you get out of reading said journal, as in some kind of insight, or whatever and how does that help in dealing with said slave/sub?" Yes, I really read them word for word. I don't want a synopsis, but very detailed descriptions of things that moved them, intellectually, emotionally, sexually. Every emotion or thought? Of course not! What do I 'get' out of it? First, whether they can be committed, responsive and responsible. Second, if they're emotionally, intellectually and physically capable of sustaining a task and relationship. Lastly, whether they're someone worth My time: are they amusing, enthusiastic and intelligent? Hurray! Or depressed, angry, distracted or conflicted? Next! edited to add: lol at EW's example: one of the last pups I dismissed would rather spend his weekends watching football [premier league] than getting ass-fucked, let alone writing: he got his wish. Next!

EbonyWood -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 12:55:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tantriqu quote: edited to add: lol at EW's example: one of the last pups I dismissed would rather spend his weekends watching football [premier league] than getting ass-fucked, let alone writing: he got his wish. Next! Which implies he was not worthy of being your pup in the first place, right? So my advice to expose that was incredibly sound. Thank you and you're welcome!

camille65 -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 12:57:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EbonyWood I dont hold a registered view on journals. I doubt a boi here is going to stop journalling his ass off because I say get out more. Was a statement against micromanagement as per UniqueRayvens very good post. Too much of a leap to call it specific advice to disobey, LP. Let it be. Do you really consider having a sub keep a journal as being micro-managed?

domiguy -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 12:59:24 PM)
I have never read anyone's journal. People are just not that interesting.

EbonyWood -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 1:06:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: camille65 Do you really consider having a sub keep a journal as being micro-managed? If it forms part of a micromanagement plan, then yes it would be. If it is part of your idea of a normal D/s relationship and is part of a wider management style, then no.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 1:13:59 PM)
quote: People are just not that interesting. I am. I do keep a journal. It is full of things I love, things that make me happy. I also keep a scrapbook full of little poems I read, pix I've taken, ads for restaurants I want to visit, confetti from parties, all kinds of things. Both are really joyous to read, and lots of people look through my scrapbook. I keep private things in my journal, but I've gotten to a point where just about anyone can look at it. I write sometimes about something I"ve read in a book and how that might apply to my life. A journal doesn't have to be a "woe is me" kind of thing or even a place to put struggles. It can also be something like what I do. I also have started another journal recently dedicated to a commitment I made for bettering myself in a way I've wanted to. It is full of things I like and want to practice and assessing how I'm doing with that. I love jounaling when it is full of joy. Have a great day! sunshine

HisSub1213 -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 1:17:41 PM)
~FR~ Thank you all for your replies. This is giving me some real insight. I look forward to more replies. [:)]

heartcream -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 1:18:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EbonyWood BTW any men keeping a journal, go bowling or to a football game or something, will ya. Surprised how? I dont hold a registered view on journals. I doubt a boi here is going to stop journalling his ass off because I say get out more. Was a statement against micromanagement as per UniqueRayvens very good post. Too much of a leap to call it specific advice to disobey, LP. Let it be. How is it a trade-off to write a journal and yet also get plenty of fresh air. How is it unmanly to keep a journal if one wishes? If one is not inclined toward a journal, reading or writing, up to you. Those who naturally navigate toward writing are being themselves to do so. I like to write. Sometimes it helps me to sort things out, hear my own voice and even see things from a better perspective. The idea that it is somehow gay or lame to write a journal is a personal opinion and not shared by me for one. I know journals may be incredibly boring for others to read. I keep a journal and always have but I barely if ever read them. Saying "Let it be", sounds like trying to shut another person down to me.

EbonyWood -> RE: Journals (1/29/2010 1:18:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss quote: People are just not that interesting. I am. I do keep a journal. It is full of things I love, things that make me happy. Doodles of.....? Nevermind.

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