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RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 8:47:17 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Why would you purposely want to put a relationship on a foundation where one of the partners was always having to do things she does not want to do?

perhaps because one of the partners is a practicing sadist...(and therefore gets satisfaction/pleasure from causing/witnessing the discomfort/struggle) and the other partner is a practicing masochist (and therefore gets a certain amount of satisfaction/pleasure from going through the discomfort/struggle).

it works for us.

(in reply to KatyLied)

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Post #: 41

RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 8:56:02 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

to osf: Maybe sexyred can talk some sense into him. Why would you purposely want to put a relationship on a foundation where one of the partners was always having to do things she does not want to do? That makes no sense to me and it certainly is not a harmonious environment.

Hey, what I am Dr. Ruth here? LOL

No, osf has his own unique way of seeing the D/s world, and I suspect, the rest of the world through a particularly myopic lens. I think he knows what he wants, but since he cannot find it, he posts and posts and posts in the hopes that some little chickie will come out from hiding somewhere in NJ, who likely is a newbie, and she will see osf for what he is and wants to be, a big, bad, daddy Dom who will make her cry when he hits he really hard because he has no other skills in which to inspire her.

Hopefully, the little chickie will join osf in their home and the chick, the goose and osf will live happily ever after.

Sound good, Katy? Am I on the right track?

osf, sorry for talking about you like you are not in the room, I know you are here, dude.

(in reply to KatyLied)

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Post #: 42

RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 9:04:26 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

i love how others that have been here for years are telling me what im doing wrong

when in the short time i've been back i'm not doing badly at all, if you go by interest, which who knows one may pan out

when someone keeps doing something, just maybe it's working for them, hmmmm just maybe

let's assume just for a moment that i,m not stupid ( i said let's assume ) why would i put up with this it is wasn't getting me results?

there are two reasons to keep doing the same thing over and over again, one is insanity and the other is it works.

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to sexyred1)

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Post #: 43

RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 9:06:39 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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Yes, we KNOW it is working for you.

I was trying to explain to Katy who asked me to speak to you.

But I don't need to tell you anything. You have this all covered.

I am sure you are laughing at the boards from the comfort of your futon with your sub right besides you, no?

(in reply to osf)

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Post #: 44

RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 9:23:47 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

and there are women that want to be made to do what they don't want to do, really there are

Yes, I get that. I understand suffering and surrender in the context of a D/s relationship. if it was happening frequently it speaks to incompatibility and a power struggle. I do not go out of my way to start relationships where I sense square-peg-round-hole.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to osf)

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Post #: 45

RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 9:27:32 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

and there are women that want to be made to do what they don't want to do, really there are

Yes, I get that. I understand suffering and surrender in the context of a D/s relationship. if it was happening frequently it speaks to incompatibility and a power struggle. I do not go out of my way to start relationships where I sense square-peg-round-hole.

then don't but give others the freedom you want for yourself

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to KatyLied)

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Post #: 46

RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 9:41:42 AM

alittleevil

Posts: 235
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
for this slave, submission isn't a willingness to do that which you are not willing to do...but rather, a desire to do that which ANOTHER wants you to do...regardless of if you like the specific activity or not.

This is nicely put :). Thank you, beth. I like the positivity: rather than thinking "oh i don't want to do that," it simply feels better to think "oh, Master wants me to do that!"

Best,
aj

_____________________________

Throw me to the wolves because there's order in the pack (RHCP)

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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Post #: 47

RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 11:19:02 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

and there are women that want to be made to do what they don't want to do, really there are

Yes, I get that. I understand suffering and surrender in the context of a D/s relationship. if it was happening frequently it speaks to incompatibility and a power struggle. I do not go out of my way to start relationships where I sense square-peg-round-hole.

Only in the exclusive context of the actual sensation does it appear that way. The dichotomy of doing "anything" and processing it though masochist circuitry is compatibility of a different kind and a power surrender. The 'struggle' may be in the processing and surrendering to feelings that are in opposition to the abhorrence of any sensation involved.

A masochist enjoys those situations. Regardless of how much he/she hates being required to do the same thing, the process of submitting gets them 'there'. A sadist, at least one who can enjoys having an outlet for his sadistic nature, would be a fool not to seek out and use exactly that situation. Sure - ultimately the submissive gets where they need to go, but in the process the sadist can gain sadistic satisfaction using the fact that the masochist doesn't like the path the sadist chooses. However together they end up getting to the same place - sometimes nearing personal exhaustion - but very content and satisfied.

(in reply to KatyLied)

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Post #: 48

RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 11:33:07 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

A masochist enjoys those situations. Regardless of how much he/she hates being required to do the same thing, the process of submitting gets them 'there'. A sadist, at least one who can enjoys having an outlet for his sadistic nature, would be a fool not to seek out and use exactly that situation. Sure - ultimately the submissive gets where they need to go, but in the process the sadist can gain sadistic satisfaction using the fact that the masochist doesn't like the path the sadist chooses. However together they end up getting to the same place - sometimes nearing personal exhaustion - but very content and satisfied.

you have a way with words i admire

< Message edited by osf -- 1/30/2010 11:36:19 AM >

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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Post #: 49

RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 12:06:59 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I get it. In the context of D/s; I do not get it nor do I need to get it, in the context of sado-maso.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to osf)

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Post #: 50

RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 12:12:46 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I get it. In the context of D/s; I do not get it nor do I need to get it, in the context of sado-maso.

not quite sure i understand

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to KatyLied)

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Post #: 51

RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 1:42:50 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i love how others that have been here for years are telling me what im doing wrong

when in the short time i've been back i'm not doing badly at all, if you go by interest, which who knows one may pan out

Just because we've been here for years doesn't mean we're not in relationships. That's kind of a silly assumption.

quote:

when someone keeps doing something, just maybe it's working for them, hmmmm just maybe

let's assume just for a moment that i,m not stupid ( i said let's assume ) why would i put up with this it is wasn't getting me results?

there are two reasons to keep doing the same thing over and over again, one is insanity and the other is it works.

Or because you're a bit hard headed. You don't seem to be the type that could ever bring himself to say "yanno what? I was wrong." I know it's difficult for HM to do, especially because of the respect he garners through his profession, but He does.
I serve Him with pride partly because He's strong enough to admit when he's wrong.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to osf)

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Post #: 52

RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 2:48:12 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
for this slave, submission isn't a willingness to do that which you are not willing to do...but rather, a desire to do that which ANOTHER wants you to do...regardless of if you like the specific activity or not.

Well Stated!!! and something I completely agree with!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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Post #: 53

RE: My submission - 1/30/2010 3:23:50 PM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

That is great that it works like that for you, not everyone is the same...

There have been broad swaths of time I have not felt particularly submissive. In fact at times I think perhaps I am not really all that submissive, but then something happens that brings me back to that feeling, that vibe if you will. Perhaps I am not submissive, perhaps I am... perhaps it just doesn't matter all that much to me anymore... it used to matter a lot more than it does now.

So I get where you are going with trying to articulate what it is that being submissive means to you, just so long as you know that other people just do not feel the same way exactly...

i relate to this completely. recently ive been wondering if i could be submissive to someone again, if that feeling would be strong enough to kick in and id slip into place. on my own, in my life, nine times out of ten id say that feeling feels a million miles away from where i am. the thought of giving up my will to another feels like anathama.

and then the other day i met a stranger and those feelings kicked in - it was gentle and effortless and i slipped into that acquiescence that only ever happens when im with someone with that 'power'

to the OP, i agree that it is something that is tapped into by some people and not by others. its somethng that can sleep and seem almost comatose and then that chemistry wakes it up and youre back in that place that makes sense to you completely.

i can separate the state of active submission from the person i generally am. its not that they are two different entities its just that submission only happens when i am with someone i feel submissive to. the rest of the time i am just a person jobbing along who happens to be of a certain personality type. when submission happens its as if that part of me comes alive again.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 1/30/2010 3:31:24 PM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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Post #: 54