stella41b
Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
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I've been keeping tabs on this thread right from the start and just felt that I might chime in here with my views.
First off I'm surprised that we've reached 8 pages here and nobody's considered that the OP might not be intentionally enforcing his kink on us, but this could be a genuine cry for help. It doesn't matter how we see the OP, the plain and simple fact is that we are dealing with someone who is transgendered to some degree which is the last bastion it would appear of tolerance when it comes to gender. Transgendered here means the umbrella term, right through both genders from the male panty wearer right through to the genetic mosaic and the intersexed.
However I'm not posting to defend the OP or stick up for him, he can do that on his own. It was highly inappropriate to start such a thread in the manner he did, it was highly inappropriate for him to post the pictures he did at the start, especially as he claims to be a graphic artist in his profile and I doubt that this counts as among his more considered actions in life.
And yes, when I first started out exploring crossdressing and attempting to transition I looked pretty freakish too, and yes I expressed the same sentiments and wishes as he did. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Not everybody who is transgendered can look like Barbie dolls or Pamela Anderson.
Some of the invective and abuse he got on this thread from regular posters was uncalled for. Let's assume that this message board is offline and say we're at a munch, and he comes in in RL inappropriately dressed. Would you go out of your way to hurl abuse at him then?
But then again it's got to be said - and here is my advice for the OP and others in a similar situation - wanting to give up your gender and become the opposite gender long term (irrespective of whether it is forced or not) might seem attractive to you, it might seem even appropriate or a solution to those unfulfilled needs or desires, but it's pretty extreme as a desire.
If it becomes so extreme that you leave your senses and abandon all rational thought then at least have the maturity to exercise some self-restraint and stop and think before acting. Yes transgendered folk are a part of the BDSM community but this doesn't necessarily mean that the community is the appropriate environment to solve your gender issues. These are YOUR issues, nobody else's and while those who hurled invective and abuse in your direction there was a reason behind this which you would be well advised to bear in mind - nobody likes having someone's kinks or issues pushed into their faces.
You are not the only man with a feminization fantasy or desire, you are not the only guy who enjoys or has a need to dress as a woman or function as one, but each time you come into a public forum like this one and shove it in people's faces not only do you piss them off, you also make it much harder for others in your situation and in turn, for yourself.
If your desires or issues (or fantasies for that matter) become so strong then you need to be talking to someone, and I doubt that the person you need to be talking to are strangers on a message board such as this one. The BDSM community isn't the place for such issues, and if you haven't got someone in your life with whom you can talk about these issues then maybe you need to consider looking for a support group.
A little consideration works wonders. There's room here for everyone and I for one just don't see the need for hostility.
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