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LanceHughes -> RE: "You're too serious" (1/30/2010 11:36:38 PM)
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Lance Hughes checking in after Lady Angelika gave me a heads up:
I have, over the years, met a few persons that have "slave heart." What a joy to meet them. At your age of 22, I'd hardly think that "looking forever" can apply to your search.
Your profile is weak since it's so short. I tell subs/slaves that ask for help writing a "good" one, "Your profile should be in 4 main parts: 1) Where you have been. 2) Where you are now. 3) Where you would like to go. 4) What you have to offer..... Hhhmmmm seems to be gender free. LOL! (In first three, I ain't talkin' zip codes!)
Your original post is desperate. No one wants desperate on either side of the kneel. I look for confidence in one's ability to learn. I look for consistency and honesty. I look for a way to start the trust building process.... That's why you often hear, "Meet in a public place." It's not so much about the meeting, but rather did both sides show up? When that happens, trust at least has a toe-hold. LOL!
As to "too serious," I can only say that you were "too serious" for him. I often define BDSM as "serious fun." We MUST be careful about our fun, but fun it is! Maybe he read your desperation as "too serious about getting started," and got scared off.
Relax!!!! (which is different from not being serious.) Here's an example:
<------------ In this pic, I appear relaxed, serious, and ready to play, all at the same time. I get about 3 compliments a week on my pic. Your pic of holding Spiderman undies with a GRIM expression is sending mixed signals..... Is that diaper play plus 3 years? I can't even give other suggestions since the pic is so very, very confusing. Actually, I've seen it before and immediately moved on, thinking, "What is the message? It's weird and I'm not interested in finding out,"
You say:
quote:
LOL, I was just putting up a picture that I thought made me look good! Would it make a difference if I had my main picture be of me on my knees in a CB? I don't think that should judge it all.....
C'mon.... Did you really think that made you "look good"? Of course, a pic should not be used to "judge it all," but with such a short profile, you are NOT giving your potential Masters anything to judge you by except the pic. No, not CB2000, not porno, but a nice shot of a man comfortable in his own skin, as opposed to suggesting that Underoos might suit him better. There's all sorts of shots that "work." Almost none are nude. Try a "fresh out of the shower" shot - nice, clean robe, bare feet, with toussled, wet hair..... WOOF! Try on roof-top of a tall building with scenic background... Let's see something that sets you apart from the crowd..... Let's see something that tells about you! Rafting, fishing, bookworm? Computer jock? Athletic jock, kneeling in half a torn uniform? Cooking up a dish and presenting it to viewer with just an apron on? DAMN! It's getting warm in here!! LOL! After all, your pic is the lead to your written advert - your profile. Sell yourself.
My slave will NOT have a porno pic and will not be a porno slave (as in "tie me up and keep me sexually satisfied, and oh, don't forget to pay the heating bill so that I don't get cold down here.") My slave will be more of the plantation Overseer. A trusted, but collared/owned person with training to know how to "act in my name." I'm involved in so many projects, I want a right hand man..... A person whose output I own since it is mine by my right and my training and my desire.
My vision is two knights in armor, back to back, swords drawn, protecting each other. I protect you as my property, you protect me as your owner. Sex? Yeah, sure...... and that's where we play and I get to mold you into my fantasy sex-toy.
I wear a yin-yang ring of my own design to remind me of that aspect of TPE. Gotta have both to make it spin. I have come mighty close a couple of times. Each time I learned more about myself and what I am looking for. (That was true for the sub/slave also.) I've got 25 plus years "in the scene" and will soon be 60 (pic is about 6 or 7 years old. - Not much changed except 'stache is now white.) I continue to learn and grow and discover and search.
In summary, I know that finding the BDSM world (and this site) is exciting to no end and one always wants the best they can get as soon as they sit at the banquet table. But, guess what? There are many dishes to sample, many alternate courses (pork instead of beef, fruit salad or pie, etc.) This is a life-long voyage, not a destination......
You might very well be qualified as a porter or valet, but that doesn't mean to keep searching for a Master on the platform and let the train leave the station without you..... (BIG HINT: The Masters looking for a porter or valet are already ON the train......)
Do the munch thing, attend play parties, volunteer (for both those), get known in the REAL world. Get a reputation as polite, honest, helpful and interested in learning how to apply your "slave heart" to make your Master's life better...... DAMN! That sounds like a valet I'd like to have.
Good luck on your journey..... train's leaving..... be sure you're on it!!!
Regards, Lance
P.S. Start a new profile with a name other than "derangedmaniac." Really, how many Masters are going to take on a slave, no matter how much a true slave, with a name like that? I suggest geography, vanilla interests, etc. but still with a slave sense to it. Be creative..... be sensible..... be approachable..... be reasonable.... And if that is perceived as "too serious" by someone..... guess what? You weren't interested in them anyway, and thank God for self-selection. L.H.
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