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ElanSubdued -> RE: Forced Bi? (2/2/2010 12:43:08 PM)
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quote:
urscute6969 to GiveandGive:
it has been done to me by my Mistress, and yes it was during cuckolding, yes it was painful for me at first because I do Love my Mistress more than my own life. I was ordered to lick and suck him as well as service her orally during and after. Now to simply say you are not into cuckolding without experiencing it is to say the least robbing you of an experience in life and the lifestyle.
Remember that it is not about you it is about serving your Mistress so it is about her.
there is nothing that I will not do for my Mistress!
oh an btw even if I will always desire to be her slave as well as her lover and the pain of watching another fuck her and my being denied that honor, it was very erotic to be a part of.
before You dismiss this try it, then make up Your mind
and as someone said above there is no gun to your head, but if you are truly wanting to serve your Mistress the gun to your head is the desire to please her so you will never be deemed useless to her.
Here's another perspective.
If someone wants to try cuckolding, that's fine, but this doesn't mean those who don't are somehow being robbed of life experience essential to the BDSM lifestyle. Likewise, those not into cuckolding aren't dishonoring their dominants or becoming useless to their dominants. I'm a big advocate of "never say never". In other words, activities that may seem strange or things you might never want to do, later on, with more experience and an appropriate partner, can sometimes become things you're curious about trying and/or that actually become favourite activities. This said, you know yourself better than anyone. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. If an activity is so important to your partner that this becomes a deal breaker, so be it. That's a compatibility problem in the sense the partners want different things. It *does not* mean one partner is lesser than the other or useless to the other.
The notion "remember that it is not about you, it is about serving your Mistress so it is about her" is great fantasy fodder and that's about it. Effective dominants recognize that while they may make decisions in their relationships and they may make decisions about a host of other things too, this doesn't mean they always get their way. Whether a BDSM interaction represents a singular play date, partners who play together regularly, a long-term relationship, or something else, the interaction is effected by all people involved. To be workable, the interaction must reasonably address the needs and preferences of all involved, even if a given need is to have ones' own preferences circumvented. In truth, while it may be hot to have ones' needs momentarily ignored or overridden, I've yet to meet anyone who enjoys this over continued, longer periods. Thus, as vanilla as this may sound, BDSM relationships involve plenty of compromise, patience, and communication.
In the cuckolding example (assuming both partners don't feel the same), compromises might involve the partners agreeing cuckolding won't be part of the relationship, more discussion and learning between the partners, the partners agreeing to try cuckolding for an evening (likely with specific limits and stop procedures in place), the partners agreeing the dominant's desire overrules and thus the submissive will simply deal with the emotions of being cuckolded when they don't wish to be, and a myriad of other solutions. I'm not going to recommend one solution over another although I do know certain approaches would work better for me than others. One thing is pretty much certain though. Regardless of the route taken, the partners will deal with the impact (positive or negative) on their relationship. Dogma the ilk of "my way of the highway" or, reciprocally, "I live only to serve you Dominant One; you can do anything you want" isn't that helpful in dealing with complex desires and feelings between partners. As conflict resolution mechanisms, in my experience, these kinds of absolutes are only workable in an extremely limited number of situations. When invoked inappropriately, they bring about resentment and create more problems rather than resolving anything.
quote:
GiveandGive to urscute6969:
We're not in a full time dom/sub relationship, it's more of just a kink/roleplay to us at this point. So if she tried to do that with me, I would break up with her. Nothing against you or your experiences, but in our relationship, I'm not willing to accept that level of disrespect.
This underlines a key aspect of what I wrote above. Regardless of the route taken, the partners will deal with the impact (positive or negative) on their relationship.
Elan.
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