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Meeting - 1/31/2010 10:54:51 PM   
truk


Posts: 34
Joined: 9/23/2008
Status: offline 		Ok. Am back to the site! Am now a bit more ready to tackle my interests. I know of some local scene events. But am single. And tall, dress well, attr. But am sub. Not sure If I could approach a Domme in the same manner as a club. Or just be a wallflower and wait.........am seeking ltr, so sincere.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Meeting - 1/31/2010 11:49:46 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Welcome back, though I can't say I remember you from before.

Btw, what was the question?


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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to truk)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 12:04:37 AM   
truk


Posts: 34
Joined: 9/23/2008
Status: offline 		Easy question. Would I approach a Woman as yourself chest-out and kinda like myself, or tone down the hormone thing. Hope to find a gal that likes masc.........

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 12:04:59 AM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		Welcome back. I think this should have been posted in "Introductions" since there is no question.

If you are asking how to approach a Domme on this site, just be polite in your introductory message. Be sure to read her profile and engage her as a woman first. We are actually putting together a FAQ which will have links to answer this more specifically feel free to view our ongoing FAQ thread.

Good luck in finding what you seek.

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(in reply to truk)
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RE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 12:17:23 AM   
truk


Posts: 34
Joined: 9/23/2008
Status: offline 		Am sorry. Guess I was not clear. Wish to attend some local functions. Around here they are held in nightclub venues. So. I do not wish to approach with typical "club" attitude. Or do I? Would of course have respect, but do not wish to seem pushy in meeting someone..

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 12:29:45 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Are you having a bit of trouble with your pronouns? 

Here' is My advice:

Contact the folks that run the local munch and ask if they have a newcomer's orientation.  You can also ask them about dress codes (some munches have no fetish wear), if it is casual, or what have you.  Ask if there is another male who could introduce you to people if there is no introduction portion of the evening.

Don't use this as an opportunity to hit on women.  Instead, use this as a chance to get to know people as individuals. 

The old adage of being given two ears and one mouth for a reason applies.  Observe how other people interact with each other. 

Be polite.  Remember that just because these are kinky people, that doesn't necessarily mean that they will immediately want to engage in kink with you.  Treat everyone with courtesy.  If you wouldn't walk up to someone in a grocery store and say it, don't think it's going to make a great ice breaker just because you're at a munch.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to truk)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 12:29:50 AM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		I wouldn't go in with any specific attitude other than an open mind. Go, get a feeling for the atmosphere, and proceed accordingly.

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Profile   Post #: 7
And on top of thisRE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 1:01:40 AM   
truk


Posts: 34
Joined: 9/23/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks! It will be new. You always have some kind of attitude towards something new. Good or bad. And, on top of this , I (pronoun lol) will say anything in a grocery store. Part of the problem. Anxious nerves I guess...........


Who IS behind the curtain, lol



(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: And on top of thisRE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 4:34:43 AM   
SolangeRichards


Posts: 170
Joined: 5/8/2005
Status: offline 		Sometimes, and since I don't know you I could be wrong, but sometimes, people who are nervous etc use aggressiveness to mask that.

Problem with that approach though is that their issue with self confidence shines through as an undercurrent and it can be very off putting.

Gentlemen are welcome in any social setting, and frankly they are needed whenever there is a gathering of humans as they bring qualities to the table that are valuable. Think Clark Gable, always at ease with yourself, always on top of your situation, always know who you are and what you are worth.

Take a deep breath truk. You have nothing to prove. Be friendly, open, charming and fun. Don't be pushy, just relax. It's only a munch. Nothing may come of it, but you want your best foot forward since you may wind up meeting people who will become close friends, and maybe more.

And if you don't, just keep going forward.

(in reply to truk)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: And on top of thisRE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 4:55:07 AM   
CherokeeRose2


Posts: 36
Joined: 11/29/2008
Status: offline 		A couple of thoughts.

Remember that "casual" doesn't mean grungy sneakers and tshirts. In general, a good option is an ironed, button down shirt and slacks if you're not sure what you should wear. Be freshly showered, shaved, and have a recent haircut. Don't overdo cologne/aftershave. I'm sure you know all of this, but given some of the male subs that I've met who look like they just got finished fixing a truck, clearly not all of them care about personal appearance.

Munches are better than clubs if you're trying to meet someone, in my opinion. A munch is a more casual situation, and you should make the effort to just be friendly with everyone. Use good social skills.

If you stand around holding up the wall off in the shadows, it's unlikely a Domme will approach you. It's also unlikely that you'll get a good response if you are clearly making a beeline to any/all Dommes and aggressively trying to get her attention. When it's really obvious that you're trying to HOOK UP right away...well, it's just not pretty. Find a happy medium.


(in reply to SolangeRichards)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: And on top of thisRE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 6:19:29 AM   
MistressBliss


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		Just be yourself , which is quite charming. I'm sure you will find what you truly desire.

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Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you must have desires, let these be your desires. To know the pain of to much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love and to bleed willingly and joyfully. -Khalil Gibran.

(in reply to CherokeeRose2)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 6:57:46 AM   
Miyani


Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline 		~grins just a bit~ It's a forum post, not a telegram. I think what LP was asking when she mentioned pronouns was why you drop so many random words, and abbreviate so many others. We won't charge you by the letter, promise, and with text based modes of communication, the way you type can send messages you may not even be aware of.

As for how to act when going out to a club - be yourself. Do what comes naturally. You want a Domme you're compatible with, one who appreciates you as you are. If you try to act only according to the way you think some mythical "true Domme" prefers, you'll end up with someone who appreciates the mask you wear, and that certainly doesn't sound comfortable for the long term. As LP said, go, observe, don't try to stand out too much at first, but once you've gotten a feel for the place and the group, do what comes natural.

(in reply to MistressBliss)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 8:11:16 AM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truk

Easy question. Would I approach a Woman as yourself chest-out and kinda like myself, or tone down the hormone thing. Hope to find a gal that likes masc.........


Just be your normal self....


Diane

(in reply to truk)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 8:57:54 AM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Here is a move that works.  Wear a collar with a leash attached, dangling in front.  Fiddle with it every so often the way you would adjust a tie.  I can almost guarantee that women will grab it and pull you to them.  

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"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
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(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 9:32:26 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Dude. I will be happy to meet up with you at events, and introduce you around. Just be yourself, and go from there, you are not a jerk in person! However, you will have more trouble hooking up if you are not willing to play in public, IMO. You never know, though!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Meeting - 2/1/2010 10:04:57 AM   
truk


Posts: 34
Joined: 9/23/2008
Status: offline 		Sweet. I'm thinking something like Wicked vrs a munch. Would I play in public? Hmmmm. Maaaaaybe, lol

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 16
bdsm escort - 2/2/2010 5:19:30 PM   
slave030


Posts: 3
Joined: 8/11/2009
Status: offline 		This slave would like to become pro sub/slave. Is there any demand at all?

(in reply to truk)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: bdsm escort - 2/2/2010 5:24:05 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		You might want to start your own thread about that, instead of taking over somebody else's.  Also, if you search the forum for "pro sub" you will find information about your question.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to slave030)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: bdsm escort - 2/2/2010 6:55:59 PM   
truk


Posts: 34
Joined: 9/23/2008
Status: offline 		RedMagic, thought that was a bit butinski myself, lol. So thanks.....

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: bdsm escort - 2/2/2010 7:09:01 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		It so happens I will be going to Wicked this month... though I have to be honest and say I had a better time at Dark Nirvana!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 20
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