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Internet meat market problem - 2/2/2010 12:35:37 PM   
Termyn8or


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It will come clear why this is in "stupidity" shortly.

First of all I now have roomies. Down on their lucks the economy sucks deal. Being hospitable, I told them to stay off my main PC and fired up a laptop. So one day this guy is playing guitar and singing into the mike and being broadcast all over the world which of course, includes Austrailia. It's an interesting online thing called Paltalk, and has sound and even video.

So anyway he is corresponding with a Woman in Austrailia, and it turns out that she will be within 300 miles sometime this year. Now in some parts of Austrailia you drive 300 miles to get a pack of smokes, so this is nothing to her except for the ridiculously low speed limits.

I was joking, but I said it. "If you get some broad from Austrailia knocking on the front door I'll kiss your ass on public square and give you ½ an hour to draw a crowd". Public square is the intersection downtown between the east and west sides of town, and some places may call it town square or something like that. This guy is the only person I know who can be described as fat and lanky at the same time. But he is good in bed and has a quite compelling personality.

Now I have to accept the possibility that she might actually show up. I am a Man of my word so therefore I have had to institute certain restrictions and requirements on this deal. Right now it is like this. I want to see an Austrailian passport and ID or IDP. It would also help if she brought a piece of mail addressed to her, such as a utility bill or something. Given that I will have to do it. However it is at my choice of time. So if it happens it will probably be at four oclock in the morning. Perfectly legal now since I have given consideration, in that I have agreed to allow pictures to be taken. But it will be nice and dark :-)

Opinions, especially stupid opinions are welcome. This whole situation is stupid, and that's why this post is in this section. I am thinking of formalizing it with about a thirty page contract in legalese. "The party of the first part [ad hoc defined as the glutius maximus] agrees to meet the party of the second part [ad hoc defined as the lipus maximus] agree to meet at Ontario street [parcel number ________] and the required specific performance shall assume public observance if the following prerequisites are met......"

I am not making light of this (well actually I am) because since I said it I will do it. At least he showers regularly, and I should put a clause in there about no ripped pants, at least in "that" location. East of the canal zone if you know what I mean.

And what a canal zone. I've seen this guy do plumbing and one look at that butt crack will at least give you a cataract, and I think that's how I got mine. Your eyes simply do not want to see any more. I mean we are talking grand canyon here.

The way I see it, if this happens instead of fighting jet lag, she can hold the camcorder. Of course the video is going to leak out, and youtube will probably wet their pants. But I think in the spirit of international relations, it would be nice to make her visit to this country memorable.

T

PS, DO NOT discount the possibility that this might happen. I know this crazy fuck and he has surprised me numerous times in the 30+ years I've known him. When am I going to learn to STFU ?

T
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RE: Internet meat market problem - 2/2/2010 12:39:22 PM   
Lockit


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We'll be ready to offer you a support group for your trauma, but only if we get to see the pictures.

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RE: Internet meat market problem - 2/2/2010 12:41:43 PM   
mnottertail


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I'm thinking that if it shows up with a pussy, that is enough id to tie that kangaroo down, sport.

Lord Melbourne

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RE: Internet meat market problem - 2/2/2010 1:11:54 PM   
KMsAngel


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rolf would be so proud of you, ron!

if she's got a thick aussie accent, isn't that enough to prove it?
aussie money. tell her to bring the highest denomination coin. if it's gold and $2... pucker up?

Mind me platypus duck, Bill,
mind me platypus duck.
Don't let him go running amok, Bill,
mind me platypus duck.
Altogether now!


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RE: Internet meat market problem - 2/2/2010 2:53:36 PM   
Rule


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or
When am I going to learn to STFU ?

Indeed.

Okay, here is your three step solution: 1. Shoot at the gleaming buttons on the saddle bags. 2. A couple of days later pick a gunfight and have yourself shot dead by the other guy. 3. Next book passage and sneak on a tall ship for Europe and grow a beard while on the Atlantic and assume a new identity.

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RE: Internet meat market problem - 2/2/2010 3:14:16 PM   
jen182


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make sure to include no passing gas while ur kissin it hahaha

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RE: Internet meat market problem - 2/2/2010 3:35:15 PM   
intenze


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Waltzing Matlilda Waltzing Matilda! wont you come kissing some big ole bum with me???

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RE: Internet meat market problem - 2/2/2010 11:47:23 PM   
Termyn8or


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FR

I just shaved today. Dammit.

T

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RE: Internet meat market problem - 2/3/2010 12:07:32 AM   
wandersalone


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But Termy don't ya want to meet me when I come and visit your mate?  We can be best friends forever (if you can understand my ocker accent) 

I'll bring a shrimp for the barbie


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RE: Internet meat market problem - 2/3/2010 4:57:19 PM   
MasterG2kTR


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Make sure you post it on YouTube so we can all see it!!



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